by J. M. Hill
I sat up straight and looked at her. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you love Michael and you know it,” her tone was matter-of-fact as she continued. “You may decide not to tell him, but the love is still there. Are you going to be able to pretend nothing’s changed?”
She was right. I flopped backwards onto the bed, covering my eyes with my arm.
“I’m not that good of an actress,” I said with disdain.
She flopped down next to me and giggled. “True. Neither of us have ever been very good at acting.”
“So what should I do?” I turned my head so we were facing each other.
She shrugged. “Tell him.”
As usual, she made it sound so simple. I lay in bed that night and worried about being alone with Michael in the morning, hoping I wouldn’t turn into a babbling idiot during our run. I had a hard enough time trying to form coherent sentences before I knew I was in love with him. If I didn’t want things to change between us, I was going to have to become an actress overnight, literally. As much trouble as I had looking into his eyes on a regular basis, I was going to have to be friggin’ Meryl Streep.
NINE
I got out of bed carefully, so I wouldn’t wake Kate, pulled my clothes from my bag and went into the bathroom to get dressed. I grabbed my shoes as I closed the bedroom door behind me quietly.
“Good morning.”
I flinched and turned around to see Michael leaning against the wall, next to his bedroom door with a grin.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he whispered.
“Uh-huh.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “I think you like scaring me.”
He chuckled, and we walked quietly down the stairs to the front door. Once outside, I sat on the front porch to pull my shoes on, and he waited at the bottom of the steps with his arms folded across his chest, watching me. I felt the relentless thudding of my heart as I started toward the driveway.
This was going to be even more difficult than I’d thought. Just having him near me caused strange sensations, and feelings. He came up beside me, and I could feel him watching me, but I kept looking straight ahead as we walked down the driveway.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Sure,” I replied, my voice shaky. “Why?”
“I don’t know, you just seem a little…distracted.”
Great. Meryl Streep indeed.
We were both quiet during our run, and I was thankful. I’m not sure how far we ran, but it seemed further than usual. When we reached the driveway, we slowed to a walk and I put my hands on my hips, taking some deep breaths.
“Did I run you too much?” He asked, sounding a little smug.
“Ha-ha,” I said dryly. “I think it’s the altitude.”
“Um, except we’re lower. So, I don’t think so.”
“Maybe that’s the problem. The air is too thick down here.”
He laughed as I followed him up the porch steps and through the front door. I could hear voices and dishes clattering from the kitchen, and the aroma of bacon and coffee filled the house. When we entered the kitchen, Michael kissed Ava on the cheek as she flipped slices of French toast on a large griddle, while Garrett, Miles and Will watched the Thanksgiving Day Parade in the family room.
“Good morning, Ava,” I said. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
She smiled sweetly. “If you’d like to help Kate set the table, I think we’re about ready.” I went to the sink and washed my hands.
“So, how’s it going, Meryl?” Kate whispered over my shoulder with a giggle.
“Very funny,” I whispered back, nudging her in the ribs.
Ava called everyone in, and we sat down and started to eat the huge breakfast that she’d prepared.
“So did you girls sleep well?” Will asked as he took a bite of French toast.
“We did, thank you,” Kate replied.
“Ava, our room is absolutely beautiful,” I said. “Thank you so much.”
“Your whole house is really beautiful,” Kate added.
She smiled. “Thank you. But most of the credit has to go to Michael, he’s brilliant.”
Brilliant, kind, generous, beautiful…
His eyes met mine for a moment, and I quickly turned back to Ava.
“So, what can we do to help with dinner today?” My voice was shaky, because of Michael’s gaze, and I tried desperately to get a grip on myself.
“Actually, I’ve got the turkey ready to go into the oven and other than that, there’s not much more to do,” she assured me. “I did most of the cooking yesterday.”
“Well, I wish you would have allowed Kate and I to contribute something. We would have been happy to help.”
“I just want you to enjoy your time here. Besides, from what I hear, you’ve been taking good care of my boys.”
“We’ve heard reports that you and Kate are quite the gourmet cooks,” Will said.
“I don’t know how gourmet we are, but we do enjoy cooking,” I said.
“Well, I know the boys sure love your cooking,” Will laughed. “Especially that one there.” He pointed to Garrett with his fork, and Garrett winked at me.
Kate and I helped with the dishes, and Ava hummed sweetly as she worked, reminding me of Aunt Beth and my mom, they were always humming or singing. As little girls, Kate and I would sit at the table watching our moms cook and hum happily.
My eyes blurred with tears as I looked at Kate, a single tear falling down her cheek. I was never surprised how often we knew what the other was thinking. It had been so long since we’d been around a family, we watched the Anderson’s and some of the memories we thought were forgotten, returned.
I noticed Michael leaning against the counter, watching me with a sadness etched on his face. He approached me, draping his arm over my shoulder, and we went into the living room to watch the parade with the others.
After the parade, and a barrage of ESPN hype for football, Ava told us dinner would be at four o’clock. Miles tipped us off that everyone dressed up, so after Ava convinced us she didn’t need any help with dinner, Kate and I went to our room to get ready.
I showered after Kate, and she had my outfit laid out on the bed; a flared black silk skirt, and white silk fitted blouse with three-quarter sleeves. She cinched a wide sequined black belt around my waist, and gave me her peep-toed black suede heels. I kept my hair down, smoothing the curls into soft waves. Kate wore a copper-colored satin dress that draped low in the back and hugged her figure. She looked beautiful.
Miles met Kate at the bottom of the stairs, and they disappeared down the hallway toward the kitchen. I stopped to adjust my shoe and Garrett wolf-whistled. “If I didn’t love you so much like a little sister, Gracie, I’d ask you to go out with me,” he said with a huge grin. “You’re gorgeous.” He bent down, and pointed to his cheek for a kiss.
“You’re way too good for me, Garrett Anderson,” I told him. “But thank you.”
Garrett glanced behind me where Michael stood at the top of the stairs. He was wearing all black, and was so beautiful it was difficult to look at him. Our eyes held each other’s for a long, intense moment, and I cleared my throat nervously as he descended the stairs.
“You look very nice,” I said.
An unidentifiable expression crossed his features as he stepped closer, leaning down to kiss my forehead tenderly. I closed my eyes as he held his lips against my skin, and my breathing became unsteady.
“You’re stunning,” he whispered, his breath was warm against my skin. A shiver ran through me, and I was reeling emotionally, not to mention physically, at his unexpected display of affection. Garrett continued grinning as he offered his arm, leading me down the hallway.
The dining room was grand with rich mahogany furniture and a graceful chandelier hanging over the center of the long table. The china place settings were ivory with a silver band around the edges, crystal glasses and sterling silverware sparkled and shimmered from the flicker
of candlelight, and classical music played softly in the background. Michael pulled my chair out for me as I sat down between him and Garrett. The table was overflowing with traditional Thanksgiving dishes—turkey, gravy, chestnut stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, fresh green beans, homemade rolls, and we all ate until we couldn’t eat another bite.
“Ava, everything was simply fabulous,” Kate said. “Thank you so much.” “Yes, thank you,” I echoed Kate. “It was all delicious.”
“I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Are ready for dessert?” Everyone groaned and Ava laughed. “Okay, well maybe later.”
“The men are doing the dishes today,” Will announced.
“Girls, why don’t we go into the music room?” Ava suggested.
Kate and I followed her out of the dining room as the guys all cleared the table and started the cleaning process. Ava sat down at the piano and began playing, while Kate and I sat on the sofa, listening intently.
This Thanksgiving was so different from any that Kate and I’d ever had. It almost didn’t seem real. The beautiful home, filled with a beautiful family I never expected. I’d always known I was blessed to have Kate, and now I was blessed with the Andersons.
While Ava continued to play a piece by Bach, the men joined us. Will sat beside Ava on the piano bench and when she finished he kissed her shoulder while the rest of us applauded.
“Thanks, Mom,” Miles said to her. “I miss hearing you play.”
Will stood and looked at me with a grin, and I felt my face turn red because I knew what was coming.
“Grace, will you play for us?”
Garrett squeezed my shoulders and I looked up at him, my stomach knotting nervously.
“C’mon,” he said quietly. “I’ve wanted to hear you play ever since I saw that picture.”
“What picture?” Michael asked.
Kate smiled proudly. “He’s talking about the picture of Gracie at her first piano recital. She was eight.”
“You were eight, too.” I shook my head, embarrassed, and Garrett nudged me again, his expression pleading. I sighed as I stood up and walked over to the piano.
“It’s been almost a year since I’ve played,” I muttered. “So be kind.”
Everyone chuckled as I adjusted the bench and smoothed my skirt. I looked at Kate, who was smiling eagerly, as I picked through my memory for a song.
“Okay, this is Kate’s favorite,” I said, and Kate clapped her hands happily.
I took a deep breath as I placed my hands on the keys and began to play. It had been over a year, but I remembered every note of this song. It had always been Kate’s favorite, and when we had our piano, she asked me to play it constantly. I listened to the music I was making and realized how much I really missed playing. I continued to play, my hands shaking slightly but thankfully, not missing a note, the melody of the familiar song making me smile. Michael left his chair to stand by the piano, watching me carefully. The music flowed from my fingers to the keys, as memories flooded my mind. Hazy memories of my parents, the haze clearing with the memories of Uncle David. And Kate, always Kate, her love and kindness. Now, the new and fresh memories of the Andersons. As my hands hit the final notes, it was Michael’s face I saw, and my heart was full.
“Thank you, Gracie,” Kate’s voice was quiet.
Michael was gazing at me intently, as I returned to the couch.
Garrett took my hand. “Thanks. I think we need to get that piano out of the storage facility, don’t you?”
I nodded in agreement.
“Well, who’s ready for some football?” Will asked clapping his hands together. Garrett hopped up from the couch and everyone made their way to the living room, talking about who was playing. I noticed Michael still standing beside the piano with a distant look on his face.
“Aren’t you coming?” I asked.
“That was really something, Grace.” He tilted his head toward the piano, and smiled wryly. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re very talented.”
I rolled my eyes, because I’d said the exact thing to him when I saw this house he’d designed so brilliantly.
“Thanks,” I said. “I didn’t realize how much I missed playing.”
He looked at me thoughtfully, and nodded, taking me by the hand as we walked into the living room where everyone gathered around the big screen. After a while, Ava went into the kitchen to get dessert for everyone, and Michael followed to help. I watched him in the kitchen, laughing with his mom, and a lump formed in my throat.
I needed some air.
Excusing myself, I walked quietly down the hall and went outside, pulling the door closed silently. I sat on the porch steps and breathed in the cool air. I shivered, and rubbed my arms trying to create friction. The front door opened, and a quilt came around my shoulders. Garrett stood over me as he zipped his jacket. He sat next to me, and I pulled the quilt tightly around my shoulders. “Thanks, Garrett.”
“You’re welcome.” He shoved his hands into his coat pockets. I leaned my head against his shoulder, looking out at the trees, and he rested his head on top of mine.
“Gracie, why don’t you just tell him?” I leaned away so I could look at him, but he just put his arm around me, pulling me to him, and settled his chin on the top of my head again.
“How did you know?” I asked him.
He snorted and squeezed me tightly. “I’m a friggin’ genius,” he said sarcastically. “Honestly, we all know. The only one clueless is my little brother.”
I sighed. “I can’t tell him, I don’t want to ruin our friendship, and if he doesn’t feel the same way about me…”
He chuckled softly, and I looked up at him.
“What’s funny?” I asked, irritated.
He patted my shoulder. “You worry too much. What makes you think he doesn’t feel the same?”
“I don’t know, but it’s scary.” Garrett didn’t say anything.
“What if he doesn’t feel the same? Or what if he’s just not interested in anything more than friendship? And he’s dating Nina!”
“I wouldn’t worry too much about her,” he said dismissively. “I think you should tell him.”
I rested my head on his shoulder again, and he squeezed me tightly as we sat quiet for a moment.
“Garrett, why don’t you date?”
“I love you, Gracie, but you’re not my type.” He chortled, and I elbowed him in the ribs.
“I’m serious. You’re an amazing person,” I said, lifting my eyes so I could see him grinning. “I know there has to be girls throwing themselves at you.”
“Oh yeah,” he snorted. “I’m fighting them off left and right. Look at you, you’re all over me.”
I rolled my eyes, and he took a deep breath.
“I had a girlfriend in New York,” he said. “We were pretty serious, but it didn’t work out.”
“What happened?”
He shrugged. “We wanted different things. I wanted to treat her like a princess and love me, she wanted to be treated like a princess and see other guys on the side.”
“What?” I felt a burning anger at the thought of anyone hurting Garrett. “She cheated on you?” The thought was so preposterous, I couldn’t even comprehend it. “What is wrong with her!”
Garrett laughed. “Settle down, Gracie,” he said, patting my shoulders. “It was for the best, and I’m not even sorry. Why would I want someone who treated me that way? Life’s too short. I haven’t found the right one yet.”
“I don’t think there’s anyone out there good enough for you.”
“Thanks,” he said. “Everything’s going to work out fine, you’ll see. You and Kate are family now. We all love you, even if one of us is having a difficult time realizing that fact.” He winked at me as he stood. “Now come on, let’s get inside. It’s cold out here, and I want pie.”
That night, as I laid in bed, my mind wondered about a hundred different things—all of them, Michael. I thought about how his touch mad
e me feel. When he kissed my forehead, it was different. His lips touched me, and my body reacted in a way completely unfamiliar to me, causing shivers and sensations that made me feel like I was dissolving into a puddle of goo. Accompanied with the heart-flutters and stomach-knots, I was a mess.
I wondered about Nina. I couldn’t tell Michael how I felt while he was with her, it wouldn’t be right. If he had feelings for me, he wouldn’t be with her. Even if he wasn’t with Nina, I wondered if I’d ever have enough courage to tell him how I felt.
TEN
Friday night we returned home to a blanket of fresh snow on the ground. It continued to snow most of the weekend, so Michael and I didn’t run because it was just plain cold. Garrett and Miles spent Saturday and most of Sunday with us, but Michael worked on a project he had to finish.
Honestly, I was thankful for the diversion. It had given me time to think and contemplate what I needed to say to Michael, if anything. I hadn’t come to any conclusions. Actually, I was more at odds with myself. I was a coward. Too afraid to let my true feelings be known, and too afraid to lose Michael as my friend.
The Broncos were playing at seven o’clock, and Garrett promised to watch the game with me. At around five, Kate went grocery shopping while I did some cleaning, and finished up the last of the laundry. When I was done, I decided to take a shower before the game started. I pulled on my comfy sweats and tee shirt, and towel-dried my hair. When I came out of my room, Kate already had the groceries put away and was talking with Miles by the front door.
“We’re going to go get a bite in town, Gracie. You wanna come?” she asked.
“No, that’s okay. Garrett’s coming to watch the game in a few minutes, you two have fun.”
They left, and I got comfortable on the couch while I waited for Garrett. Seven o’clock arrived, and he still hadn’t come. I went to the front window and looked across the road, his Hummer was there, and so was Michael’s Yukon. I went back to the couch, and found the game, pulling a quilt over my legs. The first quarter was underway, and still no Garrett. It wasn’t like him to just not show up.
I went to the front window again. All the lights were on at the Anderson’s house. Why hadn’t he come yet? If he wasn’t going to come, he would have called.
