by J. M. Hill
I nodded and felt my feet touch the floor. I was dizzy but I leaned against the bathroom vanity. Garrett’s white shirt was drenched with my blood, and I shook my head, ashamed.
“I ruined your shirt,” my voice shook. “I’m so sorry, Garrett.”
His eyes were sad as he leaned down so his face was close to mine.
“It’s okay, Gracie.” He kissed the top of my head, and then turned to leave.
Michael stood in the doorway, his shirt had blood on it too, but not nearly as much as Garrett’s.
“I’ll be waiting out here.” His expression made me feel even worse than I already did.
He closed the door, and Kate pulled the elastic-band from my hair gently.
“You’ve got blood in your hair. We need to wash it okay?”
I just nodded and climbed into the shower. Kate shampooed my hair while I leaned against the shower wall, the water turning a pale shade of red, as the blood rinsed away. The towels wrapped around my hands made it difficult to move. I wasn’t sure I wanted to move anyway. My body felt like gelatin. Kate took a washcloth and rubbed it gently over my face as she cried silently.
“Kate, please don’t cry,” I told her. “I’m okay.”
She shook her head as she turned off the water. “No,” she said sadly. “You’re not okay.”
I felt nauseous as her words hit me. I wasn’t okay. I was a neurotic, pathetic mess. Kate wrapped a towel around me as I stepped out of the shower.
“You think I’m crazy.” I wasn’t asking. I wanted affirmation for what I knew was true.
“I don’t think you’re crazy. I just know you’re not okay, and you won’t be okay until Nina is caught. She’s done this to you. You’re not crazy.”
She helped me get into my pajamas, and dried my hair. When Kate opened the bathroom door, Michael was waiting for me, his expression anxious. I strode over to him, trying not to touch his now clean shirt with the damp towels still wrapped around my hands. He held me tightly and led me to the chair, pulling me onto his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder barely able to keep my eyes open.
I hadn’t noticed Evan standing there, unrolling gauze and cutting it into long strips. He looked over at me and tried to smile.
“How do you feel?”
“Just sleepy.”
He nodded, and Kate unwrapped the towels from my hands. The once white towels now stained red with my blood. I could see the singular cuts that ran along each of my palms diagonally. I closed my eyes while Kate and Evan dressed my wounds with more antiseptic, some kind of cream and then wrapped my hands with gauze. After they finished, Evan patted my hands and I opened my eyes.
He smiled. “How’s that?”
I looked at the sterile white bandages that wound around my palms. Evan leaned down in front of Michael and me, patting my knee.
“I want you to sleep,” he said.
I smiled and reached my bandaged hand to his, he squeezed it gently with a smile.
“Thank you, Evan.”
He kissed my hand sweetly.
“You’re welcome, Grace.” Evan looked at Michael. “She needs to sleep.”
“Thank you so much, Evan,” he said. “I’m glad you were here.”
“Me too,” Evan smiled. “Do you think Ava will let me eat now?”
They both laughed and I sat up straight in Michael’s lap.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
I was confused by what Evan had said.
“H-how long was I asleep?”
Michael’s eyes shifted to Evan, and then to me again.
“Grace, you weren’t even asleep ten minutes,” he said softly. “That’s why I wasn’t here. You’d just fallen asleep.”
I swallowed hard and shook my head. It had seemed like hours.
“When your body is worn-down,” Evan said. “It doesn’t take long for your mind to follow. You’re exhausted, Grace. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I don’t think you’ve really grasped what this whole thing has done to you. I know I’m just an E.R. doc,” he said with a smirk. “But you need to listen to me.”
I noticed then that everyone was standing at my door, listening to what Evan was saying.
“Miles picked up your prescription, but you look like you could sleep without it right now.” “Probably,” I agreed.
“Well, don’t take it unless you really need it,” he cautioned. “It’s some heavy stuff okay?”
“Thanks, Evan.”
He smiled as he turned to leave and I laid my head against Michael’s shoulder again, listening to Ava tell Evan she had a plate ready for him in the kitchen.
“Gracie?” I lifted my head and Garrett was sitting on the ottoman, his brow knitted together. “You okay?”
That was a loaded question, but I assumed he was asking about my hands, so I nodded.
“Yes.” I smiled. “Thanks.”
He grinned, his dimples making me smile even wider.
“You owe me a shirt.”
“Okay.”
His smile left and he took my hands in his, his eyes became glossy, and I didn’t think I could take it.
“Garrett, don’t.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, squeezing him tightly, and he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for scaring you. I really am.”
“This isn’t your fault,” he said sternly. “I just want you to be okay again.”
I wanted the same thing.
“You get some rest now.” He patted my back softly.
I let go of him, and he kissed the top of my head before leaving and pulling the door closed behind him. Michael stood from the chair, pulling the blankets on my bed down so I could climb in. I slid under the covers and tried to make myself comfortable as he pulled the blankets over me, and then knelt on the floor beside the bed. He rested his head next to mine on my pillow, brushing the side of my face softly with his fingers.
“Please stay with me,” I whispered.
He smiled weakly and sighed. “I’m not going anywhere.”
My eyes started to close, but I fought to keep them open, not wanting to sleep It seemed like days since I’d been with Michael, though I knew it had only been hours. I lifted my hand to his hair and combed through the soft strands with my fingers. He closed his eyes, released a soft hum, and opened them again, gazing intently at me.
“You scared me,” he whispered. “You really scared me.”
“I know,” my voice was quiet. “I’m so sorry.”
His lips pursed together, and I’m sure he was resisting the urge to scold me for apologizing. He took my fingers, kissing each fingertip softly.
“I told her I wasn’t afraid of her,” I said quietly. “But she knew. She knew I was afraid, and she’s right. I’m afraid.”
His eyes were pained and he held my hand to the side of his face.
“Will you please…stay with me?”
Without hesitation, he climbed onto the bed, lying down behind me. His arms came around me, and I pressed myself into him, feeling like I couldn’t get close enough. I felt his lips on the side of my neck, and my body relaxed almost instantly, my breathing slowing as I took a deep breath.
“You sleep,” his breath was warm against my skin. “I’m not going to leave. I promise.”
I nodded and pulled at his arms so they tightened around me, making me feel safe.
TWENTY-EIGHT
When I woke up, the room was dark except for the glare of the television. I turned to see Michael, and he looked down at me with a slight smile.
“Did I wake you?”
I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. “What time is it?”
“It’s after five,” he said. “You’ve slept for over six hours, and I’m not sure that’s enough.”
I draped my arm over him and laid my head on his chest. I could feel his breath on my hair.
“How do you feel?” he murmured.
“Okay.”
“How are the hands?”
“They don’t hurt,” I told him. “Did you sleep at all
?”
“I don’t need the sleep. Miles and Dad came in and watched a World War II documentary on the History channel. You slept right through it.”
“And you didn’t?”
He laughed. “No, it was interesting. Are you hungry?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s no wonder. You’ve hardly had anything all day.”
I sat up and ran my hand through my hair, and grazed his fingertips over the side of my face.
“Mom saved some dinner for us,” he said. “I think she made lasagna.”
On cue, my stomach rumbled.
Michael grinned. “That sounds pretty serious. We’d better feed you.”
I rolled my eyes as I pushed myself off the bed and walked to the bathroom. When I came into the kitchen everyone was at the table, but Michael was the only one eating.
“Hey, Gracie!” Kate said cheerily. “How was your nap?”
“Good.”
I took my seat between Michael and Garrett. Michael was already finished with his first helping by the time Ava gave me mine, and she piled his plate with seconds.
“Hungry?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
He poked my ribs playfully making me squirm. When Michael and I finished eating our dinner, everyone congregated in the living room and talked about the plans for the week, which for me, consisted of staying home.
Crap.
I didn’t say anything, because even though everyone had agreed yesterday I could go back to work, I knew bringing it up now would be pointless. Michael would definitely not be giving the go-ahead to go back to work. I leaned against him and traced the back of his hand absent-mindedly with my finger, not really listening to the conversation.
“Gracie,” Kate said. “Did you hear me?”
I shook my head. “No. Sorry,” I told her. “What’d you say?”
“I asked if you’re excited to go back to work tomorrow?” She smiled excitedly. “Kenny and Peggy are so excited they can hardly stand it, and you still haven’t met Leslie.”
She continued to chatter, but I tuned her out, confused by her question. After today, I assumed I’d be staying home.
“So,” Kate asked me expectantly. “What do you think?”
“About what?”
She huffed impatiently, causing everyone to chuckle and repeated what I hadn’t heard the first time.
“I said,” she talked slowly. “The boys are going with us to work tomorrow. Fun, huh?”
“Um…” I stammered. “I don’t think…I’m not sure…”
Michael nudged me with his elbow. “Don’t you want to go back to work?”
“Yes,” I said. “But I thought—” “Then you should go.” He was telling me I should go back to work. Tomorrow. But I wasn’t completely convinced that’s what he really wanted me to do.
Will, Ava and Garrett left for the night, and Miles and Kate were embracing by the front door. Michael took me by the hand and led me to my room. I climbed onto the middle of my bed while he leaned back comfortably, watching me.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Okay. What gives?”
A grin touched the corner of his mouth, and he shrugged casually. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Hmph,” I snorted.
He chuckled and leaned forward in the chair, running his hand through his hair.
“Truthfully,” he said with a sigh. “I’m not crazy about you going back. Especially tomorrow.”
I waited for the ‘but’.
“But,” he said. “We all think you really need to go back. You love that place, and it makes you happy to be there.”
I certainly wasn’t going to argue. If we talked about it too much he might change his mind, or he might change my mind, so I just agreed. I was already in my pajamas, so I went into the bathroom to do my nightly routine to get ready for bed. When I came out Michael was looking through my movie collection. I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist while he browsed.
“Are we going to watch a movie?” I mumbled against his back.
“No. I’m going to watch a movie. You’re going to take one of those pills and go to sleep.”
I sighed while Michael slid his movie selection into the DVD player. As I climbed into bed, he opened the prescription bottle and shook out a pill and handed it to me with the bottle of water from my nightstand. I hesitated. Things I didn’t want to see flashed through my mind.
Michael leaned down so he was eye-level with me. “It’s going to be fine.”
“Okay.” I swallowed the small pill and Michael took the water and set it on my night table, he plugged in the twinkle lights above my bed and turned off the lamps.
“Do you want me to lie down with you until you fall asleep?” he asked.
I snorted a laugh and raised an eyebrow at him. As if he even needed to ask. He grinned and kicked off his shoes, as I slid under the blankets and he climbed sat against the headboard. I rested my head against his chest and he held me tightly. The medicine was taking effect and my eyelids became heavy as I watched the movie Michael had chosen.
“I love this movie,” I murmured.
His lips brushed against my hair and I closed my eyes.
“Are you going to stay all night?” My words were slurred and I never heard his answer.
As expected, I woke feeling groggy and drugged. Evan told me the medicine was strong, and he wasn’t kidding. I rolled out of bed and went to shower, eager to get back to the shop and into some kind of regular routine again.
I took the bandages off of my hand and studied the cuts. They weren’t too bad. I decided to dress-up for my first day back. I wore a gray, pleated mini-skirt, black short sleeved v-neck sweater, shimmery gray opaque tights and black ballet flats with a silver buckle. I curled my hair, pulling half of it up into a barrette. I applied a minimum amount of makeup, and lip gloss. I wrapped my hands with the fresh gauze Evan left me, and after making my bed I walked out to the hallway.
Kate came toward me, all sparkly-smiles. She chirped her ‘good morning’ and I had to smile. I’d missed our morning routine.
“How’d you sleep?” she asked.
“Like a rock.” I shook my head. “Which is good, but that medicine is rough.”
“Well, hopefully you won’t have to take it for very long.” she said. “I’m just glad you slept.”
When we got to the front door Michael was there, waiting.
He was wearing jeans and black dress shirt, untucked. He resembled a model posing for the pages of a fashion magazine, and my stomach did a flip. As I walked toward him, his crooked smile appeared, and he pushed away from the wall. His gaze heated as I stood in front of him.
“Are you sure this is what you want to wear today?” he asked.
I felt self-conscious right away, re-thinking my clothing decision.
“Don’t you like it?” I asked. “I could change—”
He chuckled and pulled me to him, leaning to my ear. “I love it, that’s the problem,” he whispered. “You look absolutely beautiful. I’m not sure I’ll be able to concentrate on anything else.”
I wanted to roll my eyes at him, but his breath was warm against my ear, making my skin tingle and my heart pound through my chest.
“Well,” I swallowed hard. “Maybe you could just help me in the bookstore. That doesn’t require too much concentration.”
He kissed the hollow beneath my ear tenderly and then studied me carefully.“How are you?”
I had to think a moment about his question, because I was still recovering from feeling his lips on my neck.
“Um, I’m good.”
He smiled as he took my hands and looked them over. “How about the hands?”
“They’re fine. The bandages are a little annoying.”
He kissed each of my palms tenderly before helping me put my coat on, and then we made our way to Miles’ car. The ride to the shop was fairly quiet, and Michael kept me pulled tightly to his side the whole way, not saying
anything. He was trying not to show the tension I knew he felt. I just leaned against him, and felt the comfort of having him close. Miles parked and we all made our way into the shop, where I was instantly tackled by Kenny.
“Gracie!” He hugged me tightly and I laughed.
“Hey, Kenny.”
He looked me over, and smiled. “You look great,” he said. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too. How are you?”
He nodded with a grin. “You want your usual?” I nodded and he turned to Michael. “Michael, the usual?”
Michael smiled. “Thanks, man.”
Kenny turned to make his way to the coffee counter and Peggy was standing there with her sweet smile, and held her arms out for a hug.
“Hey, Peg,” I said. “It’s great to see you.”
“I’m glad you’re back,” she said quietly. “Things aren’t the same when you’re not here.”
“Someone has to keep Kenny in line right?”
She laughed.
“Hey! I heard that, Burke!” Kenny shouted without turning around.
Michael chuckled as he helped me take my coat off, and Kate took my purse.
“Gracie,” she said. “I’ll put your things away for you. Maybe you should have a look around.”
I could tell she was anxious, Michael stayed close behind me as I walked over to the bookstore and flipped on the lights. The walls were a different color and the floor was different, too. A lump formed in my throat, and I swallowed it down as my mind tried to catch up with what I was seeing.
“You okay?” Michael asked.
“Yeah.” My voice wasn’t very convincing, and Michael picked up on that fact quickly.
“Honey, you know we had to pull up the carpet,” he said softly. “Kate said you’ve been wanting to put hardwood flooring in here. Do you like it?”
Of course they’d have to remove the carpet because of the blood. I hadn’t really thought about it. I continued to look around, trying to recognize something. I didn’t recognize my happy place anymore.
“If you don’t like it,” Michael sounded nervous. “Garrett will get a crew in here this weekend and we can fix it any way you want.”
The walls were a soft mocha color that coordinated with the coffee shop, and the darker shade of the hardwood complimented the walls perfectly. The look was very warm and very inviting. It was lovely.
