“No, y’all can stay.” He placed a hand on his chest before gesturing to me, but his stare drifted to the woman at his side. “I’d love it if y’all stayed.”
Leah looked from Peter to me, indecision playing out on her features as she cradled her stomach protectively.
“Unless you have to get home,” he added, turning fully to Leah then, jealousy flaring before he could cover it. “You really should be resting anyway.”
“No, I don’t. I—you know how he is.” She shrugged. “He works so hard, so he’s always home late.”
A muscle ticked in Peter’s jaw and he grunted in response. When he spoke again, his voice was whispered gravel. “Then you should stay.”
Her glassy gaze traveled all across his face as heat gathered in her cheeks. “Guess I’m staying.”
I couldn’t stop watching them from where I stood, slowly gathering everything into piles and moving the biscuits closer to the plates. It was like a bad car wreck you knew you didn’t want to see but couldn’t look away from.
“I’m not sure what’s gotten into you this evening, but this is neither the time nor the place,” Lala said in my ear. “You don’t know what that boy’s been through today.”
“I’m very much aware of that,” I said just as softly, turning to look at her so my voice wouldn’t carry. “I might be the only person who doesn’t know. But he needs this—he needs us.”
“You do not know what—”
“Reed asked me to give him that, so that’s what I’m doing.”
Her eyes widened before blinking quickly. After long seconds, she released a weighed-down sigh and nodded. “He would know best.”
I had no doubt of that, and I didn’t want to let him or the people who meant the most to him down.
I turned and handed a plate to Leah before holding one out to Peter, determined to help him. “So, Texas, huh?” I said, forcing nonchalance as I went back to our earlier conversation. “I lived there for a little while.”
“You did?” Peter and Lala asked at the same time.
Both Peter and Leah seemed taken aback by Lala’s surprise, but I just hummed in response.
With another surprised look from Lala to me, Peter asked, “Where about?”
A soft laugh tumbled past my lips. “Quite a few places. Houston, San Antonio, Austin, and the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Always one of the smaller towns just outside the cities, and all in about three years.” I gave him a knowing look. “We didn’t stay anywhere long.”
“I was a little over an hour from Dallas,” he said after a moment, forcing away that look I’d seen so often from Reed, like he was trying to figure out my life from the little bit I’d given. “Small town—microscopic.” He rolled his eyes. “Place has one traffic light. I hated it.”
“And you ended up in a town so different,” I said, sarcasm dripping from my lips and forcing another laugh from him.
“I told you . . . Lala fed me, and I was sold.” He shrugged, holding out the hand with the plate while leading Leah toward the food with the other without actually touching her. “Colby can’t get rid of me now.”
Lala hummed in acknowledgment and pointed at the remaining plates, directing me to grab one. “Don’t you underestimate the power of my food.”
“I never have, I just said you feed people a lot,” I reasoned as I stepped back, letting Leah and Peter grab their food first.
“You’re the only person complaining about it,” she added, pointing a serving spoon at me.
“I haven’t been complaining, I’ve just—” I pressed my lips together when she lifted a blonde brow at me.
“I learned real quick that it’s best to say ‘yes, ma’am’ and fill your plate with as much food as possible,” Peter said from where he was doing exactly that.
The lightness of his tone and the adoring smile he tossed Lala’s way before going back to his plate had relief barreling through me and a hint of a smile tugging at my own lips.
Catching Lala’s eye, I offered her a thankful look for playing along despite her own worries and pain, then headed over to the stove. “Yes, ma’am.”
My eyes stayed narrowed on the old truck parked in front of the house as I pulled into the driveway and got out of my own truck, steps hesitant and mind reeling as I headed around to the front of the house.
I hadn’t heard from Rowe, not that I’d expected to. He knew I didn’t talk when coming off of any bad situation, which made it hard when we were both dealing with something like we were then, since he needed to talk about everything else.
But I also hadn’t heard from Emma—again, not that I’d expected to. Except Lala’s truck was still there, and it was a little after four in the morning.
Glancing over my shoulder at the truck one last time, I turned to start up the porch and stopped when I saw her slowly rising from where she’d been on the top step. Blonde hair piled messily on her head, in a loose shirt and tiny shorts, much like she’d been the morning before, looking all kinds of hesitant.
I moved up onto the first step, bemusement slipping into my voice even as a smile tugged at my mouth. “This isn’t waking you up.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” she explained. “I kept thinking about what you told me earlier—about how you all deal and then process.” She twisted her fingers together in an uncharacteristically nervous gesture before pointing to me. “You never told me what you need . . . how you deal.”
My head dipped in a slow nod before I climbed the rest of the steps and slowly reached out to her. “Unless you tell me ‘no,’ I’m about to kiss you.”
Her eyes widened with a mixture of surprise and fear, but the word that left her was, “Okay.”
Slipping my hand around her waist, I pulled her just close enough to lean in and press my mouth to hers, being careful not to touch her with my duty belt or any part of my uniform that would have her shutting down.
The kiss was soft and slow. Nothing more than a brush of my lips against hers and the faintest tease of her tongue against mine, but it was everything I needed.
“That,” I said against her lips before placing another soft kiss there. “I needed that.”
A whisper of a tremble moved through her, but instead of pulling back, she stayed in my arms, her mouth brushing mine when she spoke.
“What if I wasn’t here?” From her tone, I knew she wasn’t asking about right then. She meant at all—in Colby . . . in my life. Her eyes lifted to meet mine when she asked, “What would you need then?”
“To be alone.”
She exhaled softly, nodding as she did. “Then I should go.”
“I’ve been alone for the past twelve hours,” I reminded her as I stepped back, taking in the flush of her cheeks under the porch lights. “I was alone for a couple before that. And right now, I just want to be with you.” Placing my hand out between us, I waited until she took it and pressed my mouth to the smooth skin of her palm.
“Sunrise?” she asked when I began leading her to the door, brows pulling together in question and curiosity, all as that fear lingered in her eyes.
I studied that look and the feel of her fingers wrapped up in mine. The way she clung to my hand with both of hers as she waited for me to respond, as if those touches were becoming easier for her. As if she wanted them as badly as I did when I knew how easily it could change with her.
How quickly she could shut down and push me away.
But right then, she was clinging. And I’d keep gently testing the boundaries with her as long as she did.
Sliding my key into the lock and opening the door, I pulled her with me as I spoke. “I need to change. Figured you wouldn’t want to keep waiting outside by yourself while I do that.”
“Oh. Yeah, I . . . I guess.” The last two words were a strained whisper, her hands ripping from mine when I shut the door behind us and submerged us into darkness.
I quickly reached behind me, blindly searching for the light switch until the entryway light turned on above us. Reve
aling a blank stare and ice-cold exterior as she stood statue-still, arms folded beneath her chest and looking every bit the girl I’d first met.
Shit.
“Did you want to stay outside?”
Her eyes shifted my way before her head moved in the faintest shake. “I’m just staying here.”
My lips parted to ask what it’d been that set her off—that set her back—but I just released a quick exhale and nodded as I started walking away. But after only a few steps, I turned back to her.
“I would never make you go somewhere you don’t want to. I would never make you do something you don’t want to. You understand that . . . right?”
Her silence was like a blunted dagger to my chest.
Swallowing past the shards of glass in my throat, I nodded and stepped away. “I’ll be back.”
I headed deeper into the house as my thoughts raced. Struggling to put together what little I knew of Emma with her very telling reaction just then. My mind rebelling against the probability even though my gut was screaming the signs were all there.
But I’d kill anyone who hurt her.
Once I was out of uniform and in a pair of athletic shorts, I grabbed a shirt, pulling it on as I left my room—and stopped when I caught sight of her.
Heart pounding out this fierce beat as I took her in. Head lowered and shoulders trembling with her heaving breaths. Every part of me wanted to pull her into my arms and be there for her. But I was terrified just stepping toward her would be the wrong thing.
Then again, I didn’t know how to stay away from Emma Wade.
Just as I passed the kitchen area, she forced out a sharp breath and lifted her head. Spine straight and face fixed into an impassive mask until she realized I was there.
“Hey,” I said softly, carefully searching her expression as panic tore across it. As if she was afraid of what I’d seen—as if she’d revealed too much.
“Why are you guys so quiet?”
Confusion slammed into me so quickly that I faltered for a moment when I met her in the entryway. “Not sure I know what you’re talking about.”
By the time she jerked her chin toward me, she was all fierce glares and cold words that were a clear warning I needed to tread carefully. “Peter doesn’t make a sound. He kept appearing behind me. When you’re in uniform, I know you’re there because of your boots.” Her hazel eyes darted to my bare feet before snapping back to mine. Her slender throat shifted with a forced swallow as she struggled with some memory I could only begin to guess at. “I hadn’t realized how silent you are until just now.”
“And that bothers you.”
“I don’t like that you can sneak up on me.”
“I wouldn’t do it intentionally,” I said, honesty bleeding into the words.
“Except you just did,” she ground out, gesturing down the long hall.
“Emma, I—” A rough breath fled from me as I glanced that way and then looked back to her. “Not intentionally. I’m always showing and telling you what I’m about to do . . . I wouldn’t sneak up on you. But I can’t exactly help how I walk.”
“It’s weird that you and Peter are both unnaturally silent.”
“It’s really not.”
An irritated huff tumbled past her full lips. “I should go.”
Fuck.
“Emma, don’t—”
“No, because I came here to be here for you—not to do this. And I don’t want to do this to you.” Her stare found mine, pleading with me even through all that icy-cold exterior. “But I can’t help it, and I’m sorry. So, I should go.”
I placed my hand on the door just as hers wrapped around the handle, my voice soft and calm when her eyelids closed tight. “If we left each other every time you started throwing shields at me, we’d never see each other.”
“Well, right now, I can feel it. I’m going to keep throwing them, as you call it. And after whatever you went through yesterday, you don’t need that.” Her eyes opened, a mess of emotions clashing within them as she pleaded, “Let me go.”
“You want to go? Then go.” I took my hand from the door, my voice lowering when I said, “But I told you I needed you. That I wanted to be with you. That means this, Emma. That means standing still even when you push.” Keeping my stare on hers, I held out a hand between us. Sure she wouldn’t take it yet, but wanting her to know the offer was always there, no matter how shaky the ground between us was. “Wanting you means wanting every part of you. It means being right here while you work through those fears and anger.”
Her eyes went round with surprise and awe, transforming her face completely. Making her look so innocent and vulnerable in those seconds before her eyelids shut again, her body sagging back against the wall as a trembling breath left her. “I came here for you,” she whispered. “To be here . . . to help you. I don’t know . . .”
“You are.”
“You’re lying.”
The corner of my mouth lifted. “Emma . . .” If only she knew how wrong she was.
Her being here was everything.
She’d come to me. She’d given me a little more of her, and I craved those pieces I got each time I saw her. But for her to try to stop herself from pushing me away for me? That was huge.
Relief swept through me when her fingers trailed over my palm to curl around my hand. Bringing her hand up to my mouth, I kissed her palm and then interlaced our fingers as I let our hands fall.
“Why do you do that?” Her eyes met mine at her gentle question, her pinky trailing along my palm between our joined hands at my confusion.
An uneasy laugh crept up my throat. “Try to hold your hand?”
Her head listed, but her expression held hints of adoration and genuine curiosity within the remnants of her protective shield. “Kiss me . . . there.”
Understanding wove through me as I reached down to grab her wrist. Bringing her hand up again, I placed her palm flat on my chest. After a few seconds, I pressed my hand harder against hers, putting the slightest bit of pressure there.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered.
“Touching you . . .” My head dipped as I remembered the way she’d shoved her palm against my chest the times I’d reached out for her during those first days. “I learned really quick that even grabbing your hand was such a mistake with you. So, when you give me your hand now? It feels like a gift every time because I know you could just as easily be using it to push me away.”
“Oh,” she breathed, those wide eyes staring at me with so much wonder and hesitation, as if she was afraid to believe me.
“Close your eyes.”
That time, she only wavered for a second before closing her eyes, head slightly slanted as if she was listening to every movement.
Keeping her hand in mine, I lowered our arms and wrapped them around her back. My movements slow so she would know exactly what I was doing and could stop me at any time. Pressing our joined hands to the small of her back, I pulled her against my chest. Relishing in her soft inhale and the blush that crept up her cheeks.
“Neck,” I whispered just before my fingers traced the soft slope of her neck, then trailed back until I was cradling her head in my hand. Eyes darting over her relaxed features and heart slamming against my chest at having her that close to me. “You’re so beautiful.”
A trembling breath danced along her full lips as she looked up at me—all surprise and incomprehension.
“Close.”
Her head shook at the gentle demand, but a faint smile played on her lips when her eyelids slipped shut again.
Waiting until I thought I’d lose my mind if I didn’t do something soon, I asked, “Are you afraid?”
“No.” The answer was soft and immediate and seemed to surprise her.
“What do you feel?”
Her lips parted, but for a long time, nothing left them. “A lot of things,” she finally admitted.
“Any of them bad?”
“No.” Her eyes opened, her b
rows drawing together. “That doesn’t mean they don’t scare me.”
I brushed my thumb along her jaw. “Yeah, I get that.” Searching her eyes, I asked, “Now, looking at me, are you afraid?”
“No.”
“Try to remember that,” I gently begged. “I don’t know what memories you’re battling. Maybe one day, you’ll tell me. But when they come up, try to remember this feeling. Know that I would never do anything to hurt you. I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to,” I said, going back to what happened when we’d first walked into the house. “I’ll wear a fucking bell so I can’t sneak up on you if it makes you feel better.”
A shocked huff burst from her, her eyes rolling.
Pulling her even closer, I dropped my forehead to hers. “I’m not what your memories are forcing you to see,” I said gravely. “I’m not whatever asshole you’ve dealt with in the past. And I’ll remind you of that every time, but I can’t do that if you walk away.”
The hand wrapped in mine squeezed tighter. “You do have a problem with letting me walk away.”
My mouth pulled up in a smirk at the veiled tease. “Emma, I’m gonna kiss you now.”
Her head tilted up in response, her lips barely brushing against mine before I claimed her mouth, savoring the sound that rolled up her throat—all restrained need. Reveling in the way she seemed to fall into the kiss and me. The way she opened up a little more—handed me a little more of her trust—each time.
Reeling because I was falling for this guarded, maddening girl faster than should’ve been possible.
I wanted her secrets and whiplash temper. I craved her smiles that came so infrequently. I ached to have her on a primal level. And I would do anything to keep earning the small glimpses of who she really was—to get her all the time.
That freefall before deploying your chute . . . that’s what Emma felt like.
Fast. Incredible. Like a shot of adrenaline to my heart.
She reached up with her free hand, gripping my shirt and pulling me closer when I deepened the kiss. Her moan getting caught somewhere between it all when I walked her back until she was pressed to the wall.
Lie to Me Page 19
