“Need you to look at me.”
“Coming from the man always telling me to close my eyes,” she murmured as she gave me her attention.
A smirk tugged at my mouth. “They should be open this time because this will all be you.” With one last sweep across her jaw, I told her, “I’m gonna move my hand lower.”
Watching her eyes and feeling the slight weight of her body against mine, I slowly began moving my hand down her body. Over her shoulder and following the chills raising on her arms before dipping into her waist and settling on the flare of her hips. Taking note of the increasing rise and fall of her chest and the way her cheeks darkened.
“Thought you said this was me?” she asked, voice thin and raspy with desire.
“It’s about to be,” I assured her. “You wanna push me back, then push me back. We stop when you say to. Always.” I searched her stare, making sure she understood I meant that. “But there’s a change in you when I start taking control of things. So, why don’t you control it?”
Her eyes widened, all confusion with a hint of fear.
“All of it.”
Her chest shook against mine from where she was leaning against me and facing me. “I don’t—what?”
“Still trust me?”
“I don’t want to,” she breathed, that time sounding more truth than lies.
“Do you?”
“Yes.” The answer was immediate and so pure, it had me falling more and more for this girl.
I gave a gentle tug on her hip. “Then come here.”
Uncertainty bled from her as she looked at my mouth and then shifted her body as if she was getting ready to kiss me. “That isn’t really comfortable.”
A rough laugh scraped up my throat. “Yeah, Emma, you need to move your legs.”
I saw the moment she realized what I was trying to get her to do. The fear and hesitation and innocence.
And it hit me like a punch to the gut that Rowe might actually be right. But more than that, I was worried she’d never done this. Never experienced anything with a man that was voluntary.
I wanted to raze the earth, searching for whoever had hurt her. I wanted to apologize for whatever she’d gone through that had put this fear and hatred in her. I wanted to take it away.
Swallowing back my pain for her, I said, “You’ll be in complete control. Anything we do or don’t do will be determined by you. And you won’t be trapped between me and another surface.”
A whisper of awe and gratitude wove through everything else, but a minute came and went before she ever moved. Shakily shifting to her knees and moving one of her legs over me so she was straddling me.
Once she was steady, I released my hold on her and forced my hands to the truck bed when all I wanted was to keep holding her. Fill my hands with her curves and bring her closer to me.
But, Jesus Christ, the sight of her on her knees, staring at me with all the need coursing through my own veins reflected on her face and mixing with that curiosity and fear, was something I would never forget.
“What do I do?” she asked, voice trembling slightly.
“Whatever you want.” I pressed harder against the truck to try to ignore my need for her as I said, “If you want to move back, you can. If you want to stay there, stay there. If you want—”
“I want you to do something,” she breathed. Begged.
“This is you.”
“Do something.”
I had my hands in her hair and my mouth pressed to hers before the demand finished leaving her tongue. Pulling her closer and claiming her with my touch and lips as she settled onto my lap. A groan raking up my throat at the feel of her. Our shorts’ thin material doing nothing to help my blatant need for her or the thought of how easy it would be to slip my hand between her thighs.
To feel her.
To make her moan. Tremble. Breathe my name.
A growl built in my chest and got lost in the kiss when she shifted, rocking against my hardening dick and gasping my name as if in answer to what I’d just been thinking.
And I about lost my goddamn mind because the sound of my name falling from her lips in that way was like a drug that I already wanted another hit of.
But then one of her hands drifted up my stomach to rest above my heart, and the feel of her palm on my chest was like a bucket of ice-cold water.
I pressed back against the truck, our mouths still brushing with each ragged breath as I searched her eyes—all open fear and want and confusion.
“You pushing?”
“What?” she asked, that confusion bleeding through for another moment before her eyes widened apologetically. “No. No, I just wanted to feel you.” She pressed harder against the unruly pounding for emphasis.
Jesus Christ, this girl . . .
I slid one of my hands from her hair, my fingers passing over the pulse point in her neck before drifting lower and lower until I had my hand pressed firmly between her breasts. The wild thrashing of her heart slammed against my hand in time with my own as I held her defenseless stare.
This fierce woman with impenetrable walls and a sharp tongue.
This girl who was all uncomfortable gestures and whispered truths when those walls fell away.
This paradox who could drop me to my knees with her curious nature and vulnerability as she silently bared her gentle soul to me.
“Every part of you is so beautiful,” I whispered as I was blasted with the realization that I was no longer falling for Emma Wade.
I’d fallen.
Thrown my heart in the ring somewhere along the way, knowing full well she might never add hers.
Wonder danced along her features at my words, as it had earlier. As if she truly didn’t know she was beautiful. As if she couldn’t comprehend that I craved her heart more than her body.
Her fingers curled against me, gently clinging as she asked, “You gonna kiss me now?” Voice all a whispered plea.
A smile ghosted across my face as I captured her mouth to do exactly that. Kissing her soft and slow. Faint brushes of my lips against hers and teasing her with my tongue.
Wholly different than before, but it had me aching for her just the same.
“Nope.”
Emma jolted back at the loud voice, her heart racing against my hand in a new, desperate way as she looked around just as something landed in the bed of the truck.
“Jesus, Rowe,” I snapped when Emma jerked again, trying to get away from the unexpected sound. “What the fuck?”
Emma’s stare locked on the first bundle just as a second one landed in the bed of the truck without warning. Even looking in that direction, a little jolt went through her.
I shifted my arms around her back in a vain attempt to soothe her and bit out, “Fucking stop.”
“Y’all stop,” he said easily as another bundle thudded loudly in the truck. “You can’t invite me to watch the sun rise and then make out the entire time.”
“I—” A harsh breath left me. “Pretty sure you said you weren’t coming.”
“I think I said you were an idiot,” he corrected as he pressed a hand onto the edge of the truck and hopped in.
Releasing a slow sigh and suppressing a groan, I let my head fall back to the window. “Peter’s gonna watch the sun rise with us,” I told Emma unnecessarily as she slid from my lap. Looking at Rowe, I spoke louder. “There’s still a couple hours until it starts rising.”
“And you’re welcome,” he said, not taking the hint as he chucked one of the bundled-up blankets at me. “Careful when you open that.” Gently passing one to Emma, he nodded toward the large ball. “Same goes to you.”
“What the hell?” I mumbled when a bunch of insulated travel mugs tumbled out of the blanket when I began unwrapping it.
“I told you to be careful,” Rowe complained, kicking my foot.
“You threw the blankets into the truck,” I reminded him as I righted them. “Why would I think all this shit was gonna fall out?”
He scoffed, the sound pure offense. “I put them in there. I knew they were safe.”
“I’m afraid to open mine now,” Emma muttered as she held the tightly packed bundle on her lap.
I took it from her, opening it slower than I had the one before, and caught the insulated tumbler that came rolling out.
“That’s the creamer,” Rowe said offhandedly as he finished unwrapping his blanket and held whatever had been in his close to his chest. “And this is mine.”
I leaned forward. “Is that Lala’s banana bread?”
The sound of foil opening stopped just as abruptly as it began. “No.”
“Rowe . . .”
“I’m the one who made the fucking coffee.” He waved a hand at where the travel mugs waited beside me. “Again . . . you’re welcome.”
“I can have that out of your hands before you try to open it again. You know I can.”
He stared at me, all open challenge even though we both knew I was right. “If you wanted it, you shoulda brought it out here. Be thankful for what I did bring you—look.” He jerked his chin toward where Emma was grabbing up the creamer and one of the mugs. “She’s not complaining.”
“Because I already know you’re going to share with me,” Emma said softly as she popped the lid off her mug. “You’re a Texas boy, which means your momma raised you better than to keep all that to yourself.”
Her words were all slow and knowing. Her face faux innocence as a wicked little grin tugged at her mouth.
God damn, that girl was trouble.
“I don’t like you anymore,” Rowe said as he quickly opened the foil-wrapped loaf and took some before tossing it to me.
“Thank you,” Emma responded, complete with one of those rare, genuine smiles as she finished pouring creamer into her coffee and putting the lid back on.
Once she was pressed against my side again, I held out the bread to her, but she just set the rest of the loaf between the three of us before coming back to my side with a slice in hand.
“He’ll take the rest of it,” I told her as I tossed one of the mugs to Rowe and then grabbed one for me.
“Then he takes the rest of it,” she said with an easy shrug.
“I like her again.”
Her shoulders shook with a muted laugh at Rowe’s claim.
“So, New York and Texas,” Rowe said around a mouthful of bread. “Where else did you live?”
“You lived in Texas?” I asked, mug suspended inches from my mouth.
Emma had been taking a breath to answer him but quickly released it as she looked up at me. “I lived everywhere, but, yeah . . .” Her shoulder bunched up against me. “For a few years. It was the longest my mom and I stayed in a state.”
I nodded, taking a sip of the hot coffee when she looked back at Rowe.
“Honestly, we lived almost everywhere,” she said. “The only states we didn’t live in were New York and the surrounding states there. It’s one of the reasons I moved to New York.”
“What was your favorite place?”
“New York,” she answered him immediately.
He waved at her with his mug. “You chose there. What was your favorite place before that?”
A contemplative hum sounded in her chest as her head rested against my shoulder. As much as I loved how comfortable she was at that moment, I stayed still and silent, waiting to hear her answers. Wondering why it was so easy for Emma to answer him when I had to fight so hard for every answer from her.
It wasn’t until their conversation continued that I realized the difference.
Rowe was staying away from hard, personal questions. He also wasn’t threatening to Emma in any way.
He’d always been the easy-going guy who was quick to laugh—someone who made others feel relaxed with him. He didn’t have any visible tattoos. He wasn’t a cop.
And her heart wasn’t on the line with him.
I scrambled for my phone so quickly the next morning that I nearly knocked it off my bathroom counter when it vibrated with a new message.
Forcing myself to take a steadying breath, I glanced at the mirror one last time. Once I was satisfied that I didn’t look like I’d just rolled out of bed, I hurried from the bathroom, a smile tugging at my lips as I opened the message and tapped out a response.
Reed: You want to watch the sun rise with me, Emma Wade?
Me: Stalker.
Gripping the railing, I quietly descended the stairs and held my breath. Silently praying the sounds of Lala in the kitchen didn’t falter—that she wouldn’t hear me.
I’d woken to her preparing for Thursday breakfast nearly half an hour before and hadn’t been able to fall back asleep knowing my phone would be going off soon. So, I’d paced the length of my room a dozen times before realizing that Lala was preparing for Thursday breakfast.
That people would start showing up soon.
And I didn’t want those private moments with Reed on display when they did. But just when I’d had the thought to meet him at his place again, I’d glanced around my room instead.
The panic and fear that had clawed at my chest had been immediate. The wraiths always waiting to remind me of every horrible nightmare in the form of a memory had rushed in until it felt like I couldn’t breathe. Until I was contemplating ignoring Reed completely.
But then the previous morning flashed through my mind.
Reed’s patience and understanding. The way he’d known what to give me, what to do, when I would’ve run without trying at all. The way he’d looked at me like I was everything and not a thing to destroy.
All of it slowly chased away the memories and made me want to try the way he’d tried so hard for me.
Once I reached the first floor, I sucked in another fortifying breath.
I can do this.
I could do it. It was just Reed and me in a room together. It was no different than when we were in the house alone or when we were mostly hidden in the dark of the early morning.
I refused to let my demons torment me simply because I was in a bedroom with Reed.
Being careful not to make a sound, I opened the front door, my heart doing all kinds of crazy things as soon as I saw him standing on the porch steps. Tattooed arms folded loosely across his chest. Devastatingly handsome smirk slowly stretching across his face when he saw me.
“Emma Wade,” he said softly, then slanted his head in the direction of the swing. “Sunrise?”
“Uh . . .” I glanced behind me, toward the wall that separated the entryway from the kitchen, then looked back at him. “Can we watch it somewhere else?” At his confusion, I explained, “Lala’s already making breakfast. People start showing up in about an hour.”
“No shit?” he asked softly and moved down one of the steps. “You want to—” His expression slowly shifted to surprise and curiosity when I stepped back and opened the door wider in invitation.
“You can see the sunrise from my room.”
Desire replaced everything else in an instant and had my stomach swirling with heat even as a sliver of fear raced down my spine. But he stood in place, unfolding one of his arms to rub at his jaw and shake his head firmly. “Emma, I can’t go in your room.”
I spared another quick look behind me. I didn’t want Lala to know, but that was mostly because it wasn’t her business, and I didn’t want her to have any kind of gossip when she was about to see half of Colby. “Of course you can.”
An animalistic smile flashed across his face. “Let me put it this way: You don’t want me in your room. Not with where my mind just went. Not with what I want to do to you.”
A stuttered exhale left me at his words, at their implication, but the memories didn’t follow. The heat and the want were still there, as was the whisper of fear, but I was only overwhelmed by the need to feel his lips against mine again.
“I trust you.” The horrifying truth fell from my tongue like a dirty confession because the last thing I’d wanted was to trust him. To fall for him
.
To get so deep that he had any chance of hurting me.
But I’d done that and more.
I was fairly certain I’d already begun giving him my heart, and I had no way of stopping it or getting it back.
He climbed the last couple steps and crossed the porch, movements slow and measured. As if he wasn’t sure he’d heard me correctly, or maybe just giving me a chance to change my mind. But then he was stepping into the house and taking the door from me, eyes locked on mine.
“Say that again,” he demanded.
“I trust you.”
“I’m gonna kiss you,” he said just as he pulled me against his chest and his mouth fell to mine. Tongue teasing the seam of my lips as he rested against the door and stumbled back with it when it shut the rest of the way.
A whispered curse left him on a rough laugh as he curled me closer.
“Emma, is that Reed again?” Lala called from the kitchen. “Are y’all staying inside today?”
I hurried to cover his mouth with my hand, eyes wide with warning.
Gripping my wrist, he pressed a kiss to my palm as he moved my hand away. “Yes, ma’am,” he called back, smiling widely in response to my unamused glare. “Need any help?”
Her tsk could be heard from where we waited. “Now, you know I’ve got everything under control. Y’all make sure to grab something to eat before long.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he answered as he pushed from the door, walking me toward the stairs.
Just before we reached them, he released me and waited until I was a couple steps away before following me up them. Being careful not to touch me or get too close when I’d just been in his arms.
And I was thankful for it.
“Hand,” he whispered as soon as he was on the second floor with me. And then his fingers were easing through mine and he was turning me around, pulling me into his hold as his mouth found mine again.
“You gonna kiss me now?” I asked against the kiss, the corners of my mouth lifting in a teasing grin when he playfully tugged at my bottom lip before attacking the kiss with more passion than before.
Giving just as much as he demanded. Making my body tremble as that need for him built higher and higher. His fingers gripping me where he had my hand pinned to the small of my back, but the touch didn’t scare me.
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