I’d meant to text him back a dozen times yesterday and had kept forgetting to with everything going on. But as I went to respond, I glanced back at the long windows and then over to the man in front of them, staring at one of the bassinets with overwhelming love and joy pouring from him. And for a second, I envied him and the life he was going to have with his child.
Nora was legally mine, but I had to leave her in another house every day. I had to hide my role in Nora’s life from nearly everyone—including my family. And they were missing out on knowing this amazing little girl. And I fucking hated when people referred to her as just Lala’s granddaughter or Emma’s sister when my soul screamed that she was my kid.
Deleting the two letters I’d managed to type, I tapped on my dad’s name and called him.
“You good?” he asked as soon as he answered.
I nodded tightly as I paced in a small circle. “Sorry for not responding, it’s been busy here. Emma’s grandma had a seizure while they were driving and went through a red light. They got T-boned. She had another seizure this afternoon. Apparently, she has brain tumors, and she’s known it for a long time, just been hiding it from everyone.”
“Shit,” Dad hissed, then mumbled something away from the phone and then my mom was there with him.
“How’s Emma handling that?” she asked.
I thought back to the pain in her eyes this afternoon and sighed. “Pretty wrecked.”
“And her sister?”
My heart raced and my throat tightened to the point I was sure I wouldn’t be able to speak when I tried. “Cracked ribs and a broken arm,” I managed to choke out. “But that’s why I’m calling. Nora, Emma’s sister . . . there’s something I need to tell you about her.”
“What do you think my Leah’s baby’s name will be?” Nora asked that night as I turned off her bedroom light. Well, Peter’s bedroom that was still fully decked out for Nora since she would be staying there for the unforeseeable future.
By the time we’d finally gotten back to Reed’s from the hospital, it had been so late. Reed and Nora had made a game plan for bath time and bed, but before we’d made it inside the house, his phone had begun ringing and had only continued. People wanting to know what exactly had gone down this afternoon, and others needing stories verified from both of us—mainly Reed.
So, I’d fumbled through bath time even though helping a child bathe was a foreign concept to me since I couldn’t remember my mom ever bathing me—it was just another thing I’d figured out on my own when I was younger than Nora. Add on the cast that absolutely could not get wet, and I’d felt lost. But we’d made it through, and I’d gotten her in her pajamas and tucked in just as her eyelids started drooping.
“I’m not sure,” I said as I walked over to the bed. “I’m sure naming a baby is very difficult. She might have to think about it for a while.”
Nora tilted her head on the pillow as she thought about that. “Do you think my Peter will help her name the baby?”
My brows lifted in surprise that even Nora had noticed the connection between the two. Then again, Leah hadn’t let Peter leave her side once he’d gone back to her—not that he’d tried to.
He’d been there for the delivery. He’d been standing by her side, pride and love pouring from him, when we’d been allowed to see Leah and the baby. He was staying there with her tonight . . .
I’d pulled Reed from the room before he could voice his displeasure at that news.
“Probably not,” I said with a little smile. “It’s Leah’s baby, so I’m sure she’ll name him.”
Nora’s eyes seemed more alert as she considered that before saying, “Well, his name can only have four letters.”
A soft laugh bubbled free. “Is that right?”
She nodded quickly as she sat up. “Yeah. Four.”
“And why is that?” I asked with veiled amusement.
The expression on her face was pure Wade sass, and it was all I could do to hold back my next laugh. “My Lala’s name has four letters—same with my Reed. My name has four letters, and so does yours. So does my Nick’s and my Jenn’s and my Leah’s.” She sighed heavily and said, “My Peter’s doesn’t, but ‘Pete’ is short for Peter . . . did you know that?”
I stared at her in stunned surprise for a moment before stammering, “I-I did.”
She nodded again. “So, he can have four if he wants. But my Reed calls him ‘Rowe,’ and my Lala spelled that for me, and that’s four letters too. Did you know that?” Before I could respond, she went on. “And guess what, my Emma?”
“What?”
“Our last name has four letters. My Reed has a last name that also has four letters—do you know what it is?”
“Ryan,” I answered softly.
The soft glow from her nightlight perfectly showed the excitement dancing across her face. “So, see? That’s how I know we’re all supposed to be together. That’s how I know we were all supposed to find each other.”
A mixture of awe and adoration wove through me at the innocence behind her logic—at her absolute assuredness. And for a while, I just stood there watching her wait for my reaction.
“I think that’s beautiful, Nora,” I finally managed, unable to see it any other way and wishing I could see the world the way she did. Offering her a little smile, I shrugged. “I guess we’ll just have to see what she names her baby. But until then, it’s bedtime.”
She heaved a sigh and shifted back down onto the pillows. “My Emma?” she began hesitantly as I pulled the comforter around her again.
“Hmm?”
“I think my Lala might be really sick.”
I stilled from where I’d been straightening and loosed a breath, warring on what to say. But I’d never been one to sugarcoat things—even with Nora in those first days of meeting her. And I couldn’t imagine that lying to her now would help anything.
“Yeah, I think you’re right,” I whispered as I sank down to sit on the edge of the bed.
“She says she’s tired a lot—that she needs to rest. And I think her head hurts her. Sometimes, she stops walking and touches her head for a while before saying she’s ready to walk again. Sometimes, she sits down and holds it before going to lay down again.”
My brows drew close as I tried to remember Lala doing any of the things Nora was telling me. “When does she do this?”
“When my Reed isn’t there,” she said matter-of-factly. “And never ever on Thursdays when she’s cooking.”
When no one’s around to notice, I realized as my chest panged with sorrow and guilt for not knowing. For not being here before now to take care of Lala when she so clearly needed it.
“I didn’t know,” I murmured and then squeezed her good hand. “But it’s important that I do, so thank you for telling me.”
She squeezed my hand tighter. “Is she going to leave me?”
I sat there with her hand in mine, my throat closing up as I thought of that bossy, opinionated woman who had been a safe haven for me for so many years. Who had kept me alive.
When the doctor had spoken with Lala and me this afternoon, I’d struggled to keep my composure while I’d slowly shattered inside at the news: With Lala still refusing any type of surgery or treatment, the Oncologist was now giving her just two months, and I was told to expect a sharp decline now that it had begun.
I’d been given information for hospice care while Lala had scoffed and told me to get her out of the damn hospital—she had baking to do.
I’d managed to fake smiles and fight the burning in my eyes while Nora and Reed had visited with her—well, Reed had. Nora had sat there, staring at the floor. But when we’d eventually gotten back to the maternity ward in the hospital and Reed had pulled me off to the side to find out what the doctor said, my pain and tears had slipped free.
Clearing my throat, I looked into Nora’s wide eyes and said, “At some point, everyone has to leave. But I know she would never want to leave you, and for right now, she’s
still here.” I leaned forward to tuck some of her hair behind her ear and lowered my voice. “I can’t imagine how much it will hurt when she has to go, but you won’t be alone when she does. You’ll have so many people here for you—Reed, most importantly.”
“And you? I’ll have you?”
I hesitated for only a moment before answering truthfully. “Absolutely. Now go to sleep—we have a big day at the bookstore tomorrow.”
Excitement replaced the sadness on her face in an instant, and she shut her eyes so tight that her face scrunched up.
A soft laugh left me as I stood from the bed. “Goodnight, Nora.”
“Night, my Emma,” she whispered when I turned to leave—and nearly missed a step when I saw the man leaning in the doorframe.
Tall and dark with a look on that sinfully handsome face that had my stomach swirling with heat and my heart threatening to escape my chest.
His eyes followed me until I was beside him, and then his tattooed hand was on my hip, stopping me from going any farther as he slipped past me into the room.
Bending over the bed, he murmured a few words to Nora and then earned a soft laugh when he tickled her comforter-covered feet as he pushed away.
As I watched him, I was hit with the same indescribable feeling I’d been experiencing throughout the day.
Tugging at my chest and stealing the air from my lungs. Making the world slow and terrifying me with how fiercely I craved more of it.
But then Reed had his fingers pressed to my stomach and was guiding me back as he closed the door behind us, and the feeling faded away as something else settled low in my belly. All white-hot need to be wrapped up in this man. To be loved and worshipped by him.
“Rest of my fucking life,” he murmured as we turned the corner to head toward the hallway leading to Reed’s room. His hand slid around my waist and he pulled my body close. “Exactly what I see when I look at you.”
“Even after today?” My tongue darted out to wet my lips as I thought about his rage that had flooded the room and my fear when I’d found out Ron and Jarrod were trying to press charges against him. “Even after I hurt people you consider your family? When I almost got Nora taken from you?” I asked, my voice twisting on the last.
“You didn’t do those things,” he said firmly. “But after today?” He grabbed up one of my hands and placed it on his chest so I could feel the fierce pounding of his heart. “Emma, more than ever, I want you in my life.”
Wings took flight in my stomach at his claim, making me feel light and dizzy and like I was falling impossibly more in love with him.
“But I frustrate you,” I murmured, the reminder a soft tease wrapped in the deepest question—because I still couldn’t grasp what was happening between us. Couldn’t understand how I could want Reed this way and how he could say these things when it was so soon.
But I felt it just the same . . .
“Oh, babe, you do,” he said with a wicked smirk as he dipped his head to brush a kiss across my lips. “And you terrify me and surprise me and just about make me lose all sense of reason with how badly I crave you.” He captured my mouth in another brief kiss as he closed his bedroom door behind us, locking it as he went.
“I want sunrises with you, and I want to spend my days earning more of your story,” he said softly, his deep voice sending a flash of chills across my body. “I want to walk into a room and have my heart stolen by you all over again by something as simple as watching you put Nora to bed.”
“Reed.” His name left me on an unsteady breath as that same indescribable feeling overwhelmed me again. Only now, in Reed’s arms, everything became perfectly clear.
That feeling tugging at my chest and stealing my breath was a love so pure and whole that it was rocking the ground I’d stood on for so long. A love that went beyond what I already felt for Reed.
This was a claiming of souls. It was protection and selflessness. It was support and devotion.
And I never wanted it to end.
“I have a lot of baggage,” I whispered, studying my fingers as I curled my hand against his chest, “and it’s all so bad.” My gaze flickered up to his. “Reed, I know what you said last night, but there’s a possibility those demons will always be there.”
“Then I’ll spend forever chasing them away,” he vowed without hesitation.
“I can’t promise a day will ever come when I’m not afraid of who I’m waking up next to.” I swallowed thickly. “I can’t promise old fears won’t pull me back and make me hesitate or shut down and push you away.”
One of his hands lifted to cradle my neck as he subtly nodded.
“But I told you I want forever with you, and I do. You branded your name on my soul, and there’s no coming back from that.”
He pressed his mouth to mine in a feather-soft kiss that made my body tingle and come alive as he gently pulled my shirt higher and higher until it was going over my head and falling to the floor.
“I love you,” he whispered against my lips as I stepped out of my shoes at the same time his fingers fell to my pants.
“I know.” I pulled at his shirt until he took it off for me, then wove my hands through his hair and pulled him close, whimpering against the force of the next kiss. “And I’m in love with you.”
A rumble of approval and need sounded in his chest as he lifted me into his arms and took the last steps to lay me on the center of his bed.
Kissing and kissing me until I was breathless before sitting back, his mouth making a trail down my chest and stomach as he finished unzipping my pants and started dragging them and my underwear down my legs.
“Emma.” My name was a demand and a plea as my clothes fell to the floor. “We can do this for the rest of our lives, and I’ll always stop whenever you push. Understand?”
“I’m not pushing.”
“Understand?”
I nodded weakly as he took his time spreading my legs and curling over me so he was holding himself up with one arm. “I understand—oh God.” The words left me on a whisper when he trailed his fingers over where I was aching for him before sliding one inside me. And then another.
He captured my mouth again, the kiss soft yet demanding and matching the way he was moving his fingers inside me. Fucking me slowly, thoroughly, while giving me teasing brushes against my clit until I was writhing beneath him. Trying to get closer to his touch and that promised abyss.
Taking my bottom lip between his teeth, he slowly released it before moving down my body. Fingers effortlessly playing me and pulling breathless moans from me until he leaned forward to taste me.
A cry tumbled past my lips and I reached for him, gripping at his hair and holding tight as he devoured me. Torturing me in the sweetest way. Alternating between soft licks and flattening his tongue against me and pulling my clit into his mouth. His fingers moving harder and deeper before letting off until it was all nothing more than the faintest touch and brush of his lips, over and over, and I was left swaying on that ledge.
My body strung so tight.
Begging for that fall.
“Reed,” I breathed. Pleaded.
His eyes met mine. The sight and feel of his lips twitching with that wicked smirk had a shiver ripping through me.
He pressed a gentle kiss to my clit, drawing out the moment and my need until I was on the edge of begging him again. And then he sucked my clit into his mouth and curled his fingers inside me, hitting that spot as I broke apart with a breathless moan.
Pleasure coursed through my body as I fell.
Fell into him.
Fell into that sea of stars.
Fell into this place where nothing mattered more than this moment or Reed.
“I need you,” I breathed, gripping at his shoulders and trying to pull him closer.
With a teasing kiss to the inside of my thigh, he removed his fingers and let me move him up my body until his denim-covered hips were between my legs. “You have me,” he said, dipping his head to
kiss me quickly. “Forever.”
I reached for the button on his jeans, fingers trembling as I leaned up to kiss him again. Our movements almost frantic as we tore at the remainder of his clothes. But then he was pushing inside me as my legs curled around his hips, and I was crying out as he found and kept a punishing rhythm.
Building me up all over again, higher and higher, until I was buzzing.
And I was enraptured. Fully and completely in him.
In the way he loved me. In the way his muscles rolled and twitched as he fucked me. In the designs that began at his knuckles, swept up to the base of his neck, and crept across his chest and torso. In how beautiful he was beneath that sinfully handsome exterior.
“I love you.”
The roll of his hips slowed to a stop as he curled his body around mine. Dipping so close that his mouth brushed across mine when he spoke. “Rest of my life, right there.” He kissed me gently. “Right here.”
Everything shifted with our confessions.
The urgency from before faded as we took our time exploring and learning each other’s bodies. Touches and kisses softer as I focused on the parts of his body that had whispered curses escaping his lips, and he lingered on the places that made my eyes roll back. Bringing me to highs I’d never imagined possible as the controlled movements of his hips shattered every barrier and pushed us over that edge.
Falling together.
Dancing in that sea of stars.
Wrapped up in all that love and trust and everything that was us . . . forever.
“I’m going to marry you, Emma Wade,” Reed said the next morning, voice still husky from sleep even though we’d been up for a while. “I’m going to make you my wife.”
We’d woken the same way we had the other mornings—with my palms firmly planted against his chest as tremors rocked through me. His own horrors and training flashing through his eyes before he’d wrapped me up tight and whispered that I was safe until my shaking had subsided.
And then I was clinging to him and kissing him, begging Reed to do exactly what he’d promised—erase the past.
Lie to Me Page 42
