by Lexi Post
Her heart froze at the question. Did she love him that much? What might it take? “I guess it would depend on if that love was returned. If Synn loved me, not just loved that I like to, uh, that I’m adventurous, I would.”
“Does he love you?” The father appeared nonchalant as he adjusted his robes, but she could feel his intensity.
She looked away, defeat settling in. “I don’t think so. I don’t know if he can love, he is so riddled with guilt.” The hopelessness and pain returned to her heart.
Father Richard stood and put his hand on her shoulder. The ache in her chest lessened and she calmed. What was it about this man or ghost or whatever he was?
“Feel better?”
She nodded.
“Good.” He removed his hand. “Have faith, child. It will end as it’s supposed to. For both of you.”
He grinned again and then walked to the main aisle.
End? What end? They were both going to be at the Abbey for a very long time.
She turned to watch the priest from her pew as he floated toward the door, slowly fading until he vanished. And he claimed not to be a ghost?
* * * * *
Rena threw the extra-large “I’m Crabby” t-shirt over her head. It matched her mood exactly. She hadn’t seen Synn since the morning and it irritated her. They needed to talk. Plus, when she had come back to her room, she’d found the sex journal missing. Why would Synn take the journal back? So yeah, she was feeling a bit crabby at the moment, but a good night’s sleep should take care of that. Since Synn had returned, she hadn’t had a single sexual dream. It had to be because he satisfied her in so many ways.
She pulled the quilt back and climbed into bed. Her spirits rose. Yes, she had Synn to thank for her newfound acceptance of sexual exploration. He’d been right on every point, not only showing her what she liked, but also what she didn’t. Bryce’s admission of his own needs had been the icing on the cake.
Reaching over to turn out the lantern, she caught movement near the fireplace. Eric? She pulled the quilt up to her chin, but relaxed as Synn unfolded himself from the chair. When had he entered? “Synn?”
He walked to her bed, extended his hand and grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Are you ready for the Black Room?”
The idea of being tied up with Synn as her lover sent a rush of excitement down to her pussy. The fact she had no immediate guilt about her interest reaffirmed her contentment with herself. What she wanted more than exploring the bondage scenario now, was to have an intimate night with Synn.
“Actually, could we stay here in my bed tonight?”
He raised a brow. “I thought you wanted to be tied up?”
“Oh, I do. Can’t we do it here? This is a four-poster bed.”
Dropping his hand, he looked away. “But all the apparatus is in the Black Room.”
“So bring it up here.” She smiled encouragingly. Certainly he could break out of the mold for one night. The Black Room would always be there.
He appeared agitated. “I thought you wanted to complete the Masque? You said you wanted to make it through to the end.”
As he walked across the room, she could see he was truly upset. She sat on the edge of the bed. “Synn, it’s just that I want you to myself tonight. Is that so bad?”
He turned toward her and smirked. “I can be sure that we are alone in the Black Room. Trent and Darby are on Eric’s trail, so I can promise he won’t—”
“No, Synn.” She stood and walked over to him. She laid her hands on his chest. “I just want a night together in my bed. That’s all. For us to be close. Doesn’t that appeal to you?” Her heart pounded at the importance of his answer.
His gaze flew over her face and she recognized a great yearning in his eyes, but he shook his head. “Not before the Black Room.”
She stepped back, pieces of information falling into place. “Why not? Why must we do the Black Room first?”
He rubbed the back of his neck as he turned away. “Rena, please.”
As his unwillingness to tell her became clear, her hurt grew. “Synn, tell me why we must have sex in the Black Room first?”
He faced her then and she witnessed what she’d seen in the Orgy Room the night Eric had made Synn disappear, complete capitulation. “I need you to experience the Black Room so the Masque can be completed.”
Her gut tightened, afraid of what was at the end of the Masque. Would he cease to exist? She had to know. “What happens when we finish the Masque?”
He looked at her and the torture of years of guilt was reflected in his gaze, causing her to catch her breath at the depth of the pain he revealed. “When we complete the Black Room, the ghosts will be able to cross over. They will be free.”
Rena tried to wrap her mind around his words, but they were so opposite of what she’d expected that it took her a moment to understand. “How does completing the Masque help the spirits? I thought people’s souls failed to cross over when they had unfinished business. What does that have to do with me, us? Or is that a wrong assumption?”
Synn began to pace. “We tried that. We had everyone complete the Masque who had planned to, but nothing happened. That’s when we deduced that since they were all alive at the time of the Masque, we needed a living person to complete the Masque in order to free them. The prince was the only one to cross over upon his death.”
It did make sense in a strange way. She moved to the bed and sat. “But you know there is more to this abbey than souls with unfinished business, right?” She glanced up in time to see his surprise, but was disappointed when his face revealed no further emotion.
“What do you mean?” His guardedness disappointed her.
“What I mean is, none of these ghosts fit the profile of ghosts found anywhere else in the world. What I mean is your existence cannot be explained. What I mean is none of the furnishings in this house have deteriorated in over a century.”
He stopped pacing. “I did not know other ghosts existed or that they were different, but if that’s the case, then you are right. There is something else happening here.”
Her brain weeded through the logic of the issue before it came to rest on why Synn had not wanted to tell her. The burn in her stomach started on low. “So why did Eric constantly try to keep us apart? It wasn’t just because he was jealous, right?”
Synn remained motionless. “According to Father Richard, Eric doesn’t want to cross over because where he is going is not a pleasant place.”
The heat inside her grew. “So basically, what you are saying is that you and I were supposed to complete the Black Room tonight and then all the ghosts would cross over to whatever side was appropriate?”
He nodded, his face impassive.
“And then I would have woken up tomorrow morning to find that all the ghosts had gone.”
He nodded again.
The heat burst into flames. “So my haunted bed-and-breakfast would never open because there would no longer be any ghosts. You would have duped me into helping you and your damn guilt, knowing how much this place meant to me! You would have taken my dream away, but not only that, I would have participated in undermining my own success. How dare you?”
Synn crossed the space in two strides and grasped her shoulders. “It has been over a hundred and fifty years! That’s why. I had to do it. You are their only hope. Don’t you see?”
She stared into his desperate eyes and wondered how she could have thought him so intelligent, so caring. “I see that you could have told me. You could have let me make my own decision, but instead you planned to leave me in the dark.” She pushed him away and moved to the other side of the bed, away from him. Her heart tightening so hard in her chest that she covered it with her hand as if she could protect it.
“So all that talk about how it’s okay to explore my sexual curiosity was just part of getting me to complete the Masque. Just a bunch of bullshit to manipulate me, like Bryce did.”
“No!” Synn came toward
her and she backed away, her other hand held out against him. He stopped and spread his hands to the sides. “No, it was all true. You had nothing to be ashamed of. Bryce was a fool. You are a beautiful, sexual, responsive woman and nothing we have done is wrong. I’ve never lied to you, Rena.”
The tears welled in her eyes now, and she couldn’t seem to stop them. His betrayal by not telling her, not trusting her, was too much against what she felt for him. She shook her head. “You would have taken my dream without even warning me. How could you do that? Don’t you feel anything?”
His shoulders slumped as he looked at the floor. “I—”
She couldn’t wait for an answer. “I mean, don’t you feel anything besides guilt?”
His gaze lifted revealing unimaginable pain. “Yes, I do feel. I feel a hopeless caring from you because there is nothing for me. It was always about the spirits until you. For the first time since I walked into the prince’s Masque, I wanted something for myself, but I can’t have anything, Rena. Don’t you see? It must be about them, the spirits. Nothing else matters, especially me.”
God, she couldn’t think anymore. The pain in her chest was wrapped into his. “Go away. Just go. Please.”
“Rena, I…” He lowered his head. “I’m sorry.” He turned away and headed for the door.
She couldn’t see clearly as the tears cascaded down her face, but she did see him hesitate as he reached for the knob. Instead of turning it, he clenched his hands into fists and walked through the door without opening it.
At the sight, she fell onto the bed, her hand still pressed against her chest in a hopeless attempt to stop the hurt.
Synn rematerialized outside Rena’s door. He had no energy left to stay invisible. He took the eight steps to the top of the stairs and stopped. He had nowhere to go, no reason to continue now, not for Rena, not for the ghosts.
The weight of his ultimate failure pressed down upon his shoulders so heavily, he simply could no longer stand and he sat where he was at the top of the steps. Yet, even holding his head up became too much effort. With his elbows on his knees he let his head fall into his hands.
He’d been so close, but had once again let his companions down. How would he tell them? They were better off with no hope, better without him. He glanced down at the front door. If he stepped outside…
The image of Rena’s face flushed with desire rose before him. His heart tightened, cutting off his breath. He gasped. He had put the Masque before Rena, ignoring the fact that her needs had to come first if he wanted to free his friends. That she should come first in his actions as well as his heart. What had he done?
“Synn?” Trent ascended the stairs toward him.
He didn’t answer.
The big man sat next to him, his bulk filling the rest of the step. “We thought you’d be at the Masque.”
Synn released a hopeless snort. “Me too.”
“What happened?” Trent lowered his voice. “Has she decided against the Bondage Room?”
Synn shook his head. “She would love the Black Room.” The man next to him didn’t say a word, but he and everyone else deserved some answers. “I’ve failed again. Rena won’t be completing the Masque.”
Trent shrugged. “Guess we’ll just have to wait for another person to complete the Masque. Have you thought about asking Jamie and Valerie? They seem to be sexually active.”
Synn lifted his head and stared at Trent. “But that could take another month. That is if they’d even be willing.”
“What’s another month when we’ve been here forever?”
Synn leaned back against the railing. “I thought you were anxious to cross over.”
“Of course I am. Everyone is, but it’s not like a month or two would make a difference. Actually, it gives us time to prepare.”
Synn shook his head. “But you’ve already been stuck in this hellish abbey for so long. I thought everyone couldn’t wait to get out.”
Trent stared him in the eye. “No, you can’t wait for us to get out.”
“What? No. I want to help you cross because that’s what you want.”
Trent laid his hand on Synn’s shoulder. The touch was cool. “Synn, it isn’t as if we are being tortured here. We’ve enjoyed our years here. In fact, in my case, I have fallen in love while here, something I’d never done before. You are the one who is cursed. I know our crossing over will release you from the guilt you carry and for that I’m glad.”
Synn’s mind awoke and raced. They weren’t miserable? They didn’t mind waiting? Why had he thought they were? Blast, he didn’t know his ass from his head at the moment. How much of his own feelings had he thought were theirs? He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly lost.
Trent removed his hand. “If Rena would be willing to experience the Black Room, then why do you say that you cannot complete the Masque?”
“Bloody hell. It’s my fault. I didn’t tell her that by completing the Masque you would cross over. That means that her heart’s desire, to have a successful boarding house, which she can only do here if it’s haunted by ghosts, would never come to fruition. She is hurt that I would have done that. She’s upset that I didn’t tell her and let her decide. But I couldn’t. What if she decided not to?”
Trent shook his head. “Damn, you did bury yourself.”
He sighed. “Yes, I did. And your idea to have Valerie and Jamie complete the Masque won’t work either because Valerie would never do that to Rena. I have no idea what I’m going to do now.” He glanced at the front door and shivered. That option didn’t appeal to him.
Trent stood. “I think you need to decide which problem needs a resolution first, us or Rena. Frankly, I suggest Rena because the rest of us are used to waiting.”
Synn looked up at his friend of over a hundred years. If he was a selfish man, he’d never let them cross, but they meant too much to him now. “Thanks for the advice.”
Trent smirked. “Trust me, I learned the hard way. It’s good to share it with at least one other person. I better go find Gwen, and I’ll let the others know that the completion has been delayed.”
Synn nodded and watched as Trent descended the stairs and headed into the Blue Room. Knowing the ghosts were in no hurry lifted a huge weight off his shoulders. Maybe he could still convince Rena to finish the Masque. He glanced back at the closed door to her room. At least now he could give her some time to be angry at him and maybe forgive him. In the meantime, he would suffer the punishment he had brought upon himself. Ever since he’d heard she wanted to be tied up, he’d anticipated the Black Room and had been walking around with an erection inside his pants.
Shaking his head at his own idiocy, he stood. Energy returned to his limbs and his brain. He strode down the hall to head for the roof. He had a lot of thinking to do.
* * * * *
Rena fiddled with her oatmeal while she watched Mrs. McMurray set down another pot of coffee. Synn’s revelation last night had shed a whole new light on her own relationship to the ghosts within her abbey. She found herself torn.
“Would you like anything else, Miss?”
She smiled warmly. “No, thank you. You’ve anticipated my every need.”
Mrs. McMurray blushed. “Now then, you need not fill my head with such generous compliments. It’s my pleasure to be of service again. Eat up your porridge. You need your strength for all this work you are doing.”
Rena shook her head even as Mrs. McMurray left the room. She hadn’t done much physical work on the Abbey, just a lot of decision making and website design, a design based on a haunted Abbey. Urgh. She took a sip of coffee and cradled the hot cup in her hands. What should she do? By not finishing the Black Room, she forced the ghosts to remain, and that would make her successful. But how could she do that to them after they had been trapped for so long already? Would twenty more years bother them?
That was selfish, as was the fact that she didn’t want them to leave. “Ah, shit.”
“Shit what?” Valerie
strode in, carrying her usual notepad. Did the woman go to bed with it? Didn’t she have Jamie to keep her occupied? Rena looked through the doorway to see if he was on his way in.
“He went home yesterday. Wanted to check in on his mom and pick up some clean clothes. So what were you shitting about?”
Rena put her cup down and pushed away her bowl. Her stomach wasn’t doing well this morning and the thought of what Synn had done made it close down completely. “Synn is an ass.”
Valerie stopped in the middle of pouring her coffee. “Yeah? So tell me something I don’t know.”
“No, I mean really. Do you know that last night he expected me to go to the Black Room with him and if I had, all these ghosts would be gone today?”
“What?” Valerie put down the pot and took a hurried sip of her coffee. “Okay, tell me. All of it.”
Rena did, including Bryce’s presence at the Masque and his reason for breaking off their engagement. She even admitted her own enjoyment as well as Synn’s final betrayal. It just poured from her in a newfound confidence that through it all, she had done nothing wrong except lose her heart to a cursed man who would have killed her dream.
Valerie poured herself a full cup of coffee before commenting. “Okay, we have a shitload of stuff to work through here, don’t we?”
Rena nodded, her eyes growing misty at her friend’s complete understanding. “I don’t know what to do. If I finish the Masque I free all these souls, but then we no longer have a haunted bed-and-breakfast. I’m not sure if this place will make it if it’s not haunted and then I’ll be the homeless one. I so wanted to prove I could do this. But how can I force these people to stay here when I might have the ability to help them? And then there is Synn.”
She took a deep breath, the hurt in her heart making it difficult. “To finish the Masque I must do so with Synn. How can I, after what he’s done? I loved him and he would have destroyed my dream without telling me. How could I have sex with someone I don’t trust?”
Valerie put up her hand. “Can we examine for a moment where this dream came from? I think you need to be realistic. Why did you want to make this abbey a success?”
