by Regina Scott
Nora let out her breath. He was only being kind. She knew she wasn’t lovely. But the words had sounded so sweet.
His mother looked over as Simon scrutinized the book of poetry. “It seems Father Christmas was a bit mixed up this year,” she said with a look to James.
“I’ll say,” James agreed, tossing his tangerine in the air and catching it. “First time in years Simon hasn’t gotten coal. But I’m not sure love poems are any more use to him.”
Love poems? She should have paid more attention to the title!
Simon pocketed the book. “I can assure you, James, that I’ll find a use for them.” He looked to Nora.
Oh, my!
Simon’s promise was only the start to a delightful evening, with songs and good food and laughter. When they walked home together, Simon took Nora’s hand, and she couldn’t help her sigh of happiness.
Fleet bounded ahead to stop and sit before the door, and too late she remembered their earlier difficulties.
“Simon,” she said as he opened the door, “I need to tell you something.”
She had left the lantern burning, so she saw his brows go up. “Is something wrong?”
“Not exactly. That is, I fixed it as well as I could.” She let Fleet in and shut the door behind them. “There was an accident with your bed.”
“My bed.” He looked toward the pallet, which she had to admit seemed a trifle lumpy from this vantage point.
“Fleet must have grown tired of waiting for us,” she hurried to explain. “Truly, it was my fault. I should have thought ahead.”
“Nora,” he said.
She scurried around the table. “It’s not that bad, really, and I can get some of the new goose feathers from Beth and stitch it up more firmly. The quilt will take a little more work, but I’m sure I can fix it so you’d never know it had been ripped.”
“Nora,” he said, advancing on her.
“It’s no trouble, really. I’m just so sorry that I—”
He took her in his arms and kissed her. And she felt as light as a feather drifting in the air.
Yet she sensed something in his embrace, a tenderness that hadn’t been there before. Could it be Simon’s heart was changing, after all?
Chapter Twenty
Nora woke on Christmas morning to the sound of voices calling. She poked her head out of the loft to see Beth and Levi in the doorway. Simon, already dressed, stood beside them, with Fleet dancing about them all.
“It snowed last night!” Beth cried. “Come out and welcome Christmas with us!”
Nora eagerly reached for her clothes. The rock from Simon’s stocking tumbled out of her pocket and skittered across the floor of the loft to slide out the opening. She heard it clatter as it hit the floor. She’d have to find it later, if Fleet didn’t find it first. For now, she couldn’t wait another minute to give Simon his present. She dressed hurriedly, then wrapped the new waistcoat in the ripped quilt she’d slept under and went to navigate the ladder.
Levi and Beth were back outside, but Simon bent to peck her cheek. “Merry Christmas, Nora.”
The tentative touch was so unlike the kiss they’d shared last night that she could only frown up at him as he drew back.
“Merry Christmas,” she told him. “I have something for you.”
Simon cocked his head. “For me?”
Was she mad to hear eagerness behind the question? She nodded, unwrapping the quilt to hand him the waistcoat. “For Christmas.”
He took the garment, turned it in his strong hands, the buttons winking in the light. “You made this.”
He sounded awed. Nora’s mouth felt dry. “Yes. I think it will fit, but I can tailor it if it’s too wide.” She swallowed. “You could try it on, if you like.”
He set it on the table. “Later. When I change into my suit.”
“Yes, of course, Simon,” she said, feeling tears behind her eyes. She would not let him see them. It wasn’t his fault she was disappointed. He was only being practical.
“Will you come out and enjoy the snow with us?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Snow is hardly something to enjoy. We’ll have to feed the stock in the barn until it thaws. The weight could snap branches on the trees, making the woods dangerous. If it gets too thick, it may break through the roof. And if it thaws too fast, we could see flooding.”
Perhaps it was her disappointment over the reception of her gift. Perhaps it was the fact that it was Christmas. But for whatever reason, she couldn’t bear hearing him enumerate the risks.
Nora put a hand on his arm. “It’s just snow, Simon. Can’t we enjoy it without worrying what will come?”
He drew in a breath. “Yes, of course, Nora. Only, I have work to finish in the barn.”
On Christmas? Could she never get through to him? “But you’ll come to the house later?” she pressed. “For Christmas dinner?”
He laid his hand over hers. “Wouldn’t miss it. I’ve already milked Britta for you, and I’ll take Fleet with me.”
Her work was done, it seemed, so she ventured outside.
Snow covered the path to the main house, blanketed the bushes. It glittered from the needles on the firs and clung in white tufts to the trunks, as if someone had pasted balls of cotton here and there. Despite what Simon had said, she could only see it as beautiful.
A snowball sailed past her as she stepped off the porch.
“Sorry,” Levi said, his head popping up from behind the white hump of a rhododendron. “I was hoping to hit Simon.”
“He has work to do,” Nora reported, moving onto the path.
Beth materialized from behind a tree, a snowball in her mittened hand. “On Christmas?”
“Simon works hard every day,” Nora said, her head high as she started for the clearing.
“No wonder James called him Scrooge,” Levi muttered, falling in beside her.
The clearing was a sheet of white, though even now she saw footprints leading from cabin to cabin and cabin to barn. Snow capped each fence post, covered the main cabin’s roof, which looked in no danger of caving in. Why couldn’t Simon just see things for what they were, let in the light and not seek the darkness?
Mrs. Wallin beckoned from the porch. “Merry Christmas, Nora. Come in for some cocoa.”
Now, that sounded like a delightful way to start Christmas Day. Nora left Beth and Levi to pummel each other with snowballs and went into the house.
The goose Drew had shot had been stuffed and trussed and was cooking by the fire, the savory scent permeating the room. Mother Wallin had hot cocoa and shortbread on the table, and Nora helped herself to some of each.
One by one, Simon’s other brothers and their wives arrived, and Beth and Levi were persuaded to leave off their war and join them. Everyone admired the new bag Drew had purchased for Catherine to hold all her nursing supplies now and baby things later. It was a merry gathering, but Nora kept watching the door.
“Do you want me to fetch him?” Levi asked her as if he’d noticed her darting glances.
Nora shook her head. “Simon will come when he’s ready.”
But half the morning had passed before Simon appeared in the doorway, and then he came bearing his father’s violin in his arms. Fleet arrived with him, shaking snow off his fur. But what drew Nora’s gaze were the green glass buttons shining on Simon’s chest. The waistcoat fit him perfectly.
Of course, James noticed. “I will not have it, Simon,” he proclaimed, pointing a finger at him. “I’m supposed to be the brother with style in this family. I demand to know the name of your tailor.”
Simon looked to Nora with a smile that warmed her. “She’s too good for you, James. Now, shouldn’t there be carols?” He went to the hearth and anchored the fiddle under his chin.
He played then, and they all joined in singing carols and hymns, from “While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks” to “Joy to the World.” Once again, though, Nora realized, Simon kept himself apart. By playing, he made himself different from the rest of his family, and though he seemed to lose himself in the music as usual, she couldn’t help wondering if he felt the distance.
At least he joined in with helping bring the feast to the table. Besides the goose, they had mashed potatoes and rich gravy, rolls that had been sent out from Maddie Haggerty’s bakery, blackberry preserves, parsnips with onions and, finally, apple pie for dessert. Nora felt more stuffed than the goose by the time they were finished.
As soon as the table had been cleared, Beth looked ready to organize another game, but Simon took Nora’s hand. “Will you walk with me?”
He looked so serious, as if everything depended on her answer. Nora nodded. “Yes, of course, Simon.” She went to fetch her cloak, asking John to keep an eye on Fleet.
Simon led her out into the clearing, where a fitful sun made patches of snow radiant. Helping her across the uneven ground and drifts, he drew her toward the barn.
“I know I’m not the best at expressing how I feel,” he said, his gaze on his gloved hand holding hers. “But I want you to know you’ve made a difference in my life. You help me see the good. Thank you, Nora.”
She felt as if her heart was swelling. “If I have truly helped, you are welcome, Simon.”
“I wanted to give you something for Christmas,” he said. “It’s in the barn.”
In the barn? So that was what had kept him. She couldn’t imagine what she could need in the barn, but whatever he had done would be nothing short of magnificent, she was sure.
Simon did not seem nearly as confident as he rolled open the door. His face was set, his lean body stiff beside hers.
“It was very thoughtful of you,” Nora said with an encouraging smile.
She thought she saw him swallow.
Sunlight speared inside, anointing the wooden floor where she and Simon had watched the play and the stalls holding the goats, oxen and horses. Britta looked up from her manger at the light.
Nora blinked. Something was different about the manger. Wandering closer, she saw that it had been lifted from the floor and redesigned to be flatter. Already Britta was happily eating the grains in it.
“You did this?” she asked Simon, who had come up beside her.
He nodded. “She was having a hard time balancing when she leaned over to eat. This will make her more comfortable.”
Tears gathered in her eyes. “It’s wonderful.”
“There’s more.” He went to the back of the barn and brought out a low sled with a high bar at the back. “This is for Fleet. I saw an Indian using one once with his dogs. Fleet can pull it about the farm, helping us carry things. I’ll work with John to add wheels to it for the summer.”
“Father Christmas said he was born to pull a sled.” She looked at the clean lines, the polished wood of the rails. “Oh, Simon, it’s perfect. I don’t know how to thank you!”
He came around the sled to her side. “The smile on your face is thanks enough. Just know that I admire you, Nora, beyond measure. Thank you for showing me that life can hold joy.”
Joy, he said. She felt it bubbling up inside her even now, filling her heart to overflowing. He had had little use for Britta in the beginning, yet he helped Nora milk her and now he’d gone out of his way to make the cow more comfortable. He’d been concerned about how Fleet would get on at the farm, but he talked to the dog, made light of his mistakes and created a way for Fleet to contribute to the farm.
“You bring me joy,” she told Simon. “You make me want to hope for a future.”
He took her hands, eyes as bright as the buttons on his new waistcoat. “And what do you hope for the future, Nora?”
Could she say it aloud? If he didn’t answer the way she dreamed, she knew her heart would shatter. She had fallen in love with her husband. Worse, despite all her experiences, she had dared to hope Simon might love her in return, that they might have the tender, happy marriage she saw with his brothers and their wives. Christmas had made her believe it was a possibility. But what if she was wrong?
Something white shot through the door and landed on the wood floor. Simon frowned down at the snowball.
“Hey in there!” Levi’s voice was demanding. “It’s Christmas! No more work! It’s time to play.”
Simon started shaking his head, pulling back from her, but suddenly Nora knew what she wanted. Just once, Simon needed to play.
“He’s right, Simon,” she told her husband. “It’s time to have fun. Let’s go play in the snow.”
* * *
He was playing in the snow.
Simon ducked behind the side of the barn to escape Levi’s barrage of snowballs. Nora handed him another missile.
“Try for Drew,” she said. “He makes a bigger target.”
Simon laughed. Laughed! Poking his head out around the corner, he sighted his older brother near the schoolhouse. Beth, Rina and James had rolled snowballs big enough to build a fort of sorts around the schoolhouse door and were using the bell stand like a tower at the corner. Levi had commandeered the wagon and was hunkered behind it. Ma and Catherine were watching from the porch, with John on guard in front of them to prevent any stray balls from finding home.
But Nora was right—Drew was big enough he simply could not hide. Simon took aim and fired.
Drew shook the snow off his head and glared around. “Who threw that?”
“Simon!” Levi claimed, pointing toward the barn.
“Very funny,” Drew said, scooping up a pile of snow and packing it in his fists. Levi frantically began scraping snow together.
Of course Drew didn’t think Simon would join them in a snowball fight, for all Nora had been the one to rally the rest of his family out into the clearing. Simon was the serious one, Simon was the hard worker.
“Give me another one,” he told Nora, and she filled his palm with two more snowballs.
This time he aimed for Levi, dropping a ball neatly down his youngest brother’s back.
“Hey!” Levi leaped up, ducked his head and fished down the neck of his coat.
Nora giggled.
Drew was frowning toward the barn. “That really did come from Simon.” A smile worked its way onto his brother’s face.
James leaped from behind the fort, his arm raised. “In that case, charge!”
Drew and James raced toward the barn, Fleet barking at their heels. Simon seized Nora’s hand and pulled her around the back and into the rear door, slamming it ahead of his brothers. He heard the thuds as the balls hit the wood.
“That’s not fair,” Nora said, but he could see her eyes twinkling.
“That’s survival,” Simon countered. “Now quick—they’ll be coming around to the front any minute.”
They hurried through the barn and up to the front door. Cautiously, Simon cracked it open. All seemed quiet. In fact, he couldn’t see any of his siblings, their wives or Fleet, only Ma and Catherine smiling on the porch. Hand on Nora’s, he opened the door wider and took a step out.
Snow rained from the roof, covering him and Nora. She gasped in a breath and then started laughing. He shook the snow off his head, his shoulders.
“Got you!” Levi shouted from the roof of the barn.
“Get down here before you slide off and break your other leg,” Simon shouted at him.
Nora was still laughing, her whole body trembling next to his. He couldn’t help it. He gave it up and laughed as well.
James came up and slipped an arm about Nora’s shoulders. “I always knew you were an amazing seamstress. It see
ms you’ve sewed me up a whole new brother.”
Simon almost felt that way, as if he were a different person, a better person. He nudged James aside and took Nora’s hand to lead her back to the house.
The rest of the day flew by. He didn’t recall half the games Beth encouraged them to try, only that when he played with Nora at his side, the parlor pastimes were more enjoyable than he could remember. Nor could he remember a more joyful Christmas. The only drawback to the day was that the question he’d asked her in the barn that morning hadn’t been answered. And what do you hope for the future, Nora? Walking home with her in the moonlight, he wanted to ask her again. But something held him back.
He was beginning to hope for a life together as husband and wife. Was she? She’d found the courage to ask him to marry her. Why couldn’t he find the courage to ask her to truly be his wife?
Perhaps because it meant so much to him. Asking risked everything—his peace, his heart.
The matter kept him awake much of the night, but her statement the next morning made him stop in his tracks by the door.
“You promised your brother what?” he asked as she came down the ladder.
“That I would come to visit the day after Christmas and stay for dinner,” she explained, setting down her carpetbag long enough to pat Fleet on the head. “And I can check for any new commissions while I am in town.”
“I’ll take you, then,” Simon said, going for his coat. He hadn’t intended to let his frustration show, but she must have sensed it, for she followed him and laid a hand on his arm.
“John said he was going in for the mail. I can accompany him. You can drive in for me tomorrow. I know you want to continue clearing the land today.”
“The land can wait,” he said, and she looked as surprised as he felt to hear the words coming out of his mouth. “I’m more concerned about you and your brother.”
She raised her head. “Charles and Meredith won’t sway me this time, Simon. I promise.”
He didn’t like it, but he knew he had to take her at her word. Perhaps he wasn’t the only one who had changed over Christmas. Perhaps Nora was ready to have her say in her family.
