Caleb folded his arms across his broad chest while he watched her like a hawk. “I wasn’t aware we were.”
She tried to cock an eyebrow at him like he did to her, but it didn’t work. From the quirk of his lips, about all she’d accomplished was to contort her face into an amusing caricature. So much for that. She waved her hand, the gesture encompassing all the men in the room. “Everyone here is family, including Derek, and I think we need to keep that knowledge above the weird emotional stuff going on.”
Caleb didn’t immediately agree. Did he disagree with her statement or was his objection routed in her inclusion of Derek into the Johnson family circle? She folded her arms across her chest. “Whether it goes with your code or not, Caleb, Derek and all the weres that are here are family. You treat them like family. They treat you like family, so you might as well call them family.”
Still no response. “I mean it, Caleb.”
Caleb cocked up his hand, stopping her argument. “I’m not arguing with you.”
“You’re not agreeing either.”
“Probably because the objections to Derek being family aren’t mine.”
Across the room, a board squeaked, the only indication Derek had moved. Allie couldn’t believe it. But the answer was there on his face. “You’re the one with issues?”
“Our friendship with the Johnsons has already put our pack on the fringe of ostracism. An allegiance would not be accepted.”
“By whom?”
“Other weres.”
“You socialize with other werewolves?”
“Yes.”
“As in there’s a hierarchy of werewolves, a network beyond the Circle J?”
“Of course.”
A flicker of movement in her peripheral vision warned her. “Don’t you dare tell him to shut up, Caleb.”
He palmed her buttocks. The fingers lingered way past casual. “You’re getting too big for your britches.”
“Impossible. You just told me I couldn’t get fat.”
The fingers pressed. “Damn convenient time you picked to get literal.”
She flashed him a smile, liking the way his eyes smiled back with that certain difference she couldn’t quite place. “Just trying to follow the rules you set out.”
The pressure grew and she took a step closer. Closer to that smile. Closer to that certain intriguing something.
“I’m thinking any sign of cooperation on your part is a reason for a man to start checking for ambush.”
His right hand joined his left.
“Oh, puh-lease.” She rubbed her stomach, pressing her knuckles against the spasms. “So if the werewolves have a hierarchy, do the vampires?”
Slade’s “No” was way too quick. The way a man bent on hiding something would answer. She stared at Caleb, waiting. He cocked his eyebrow. She pressed harder on her stomach, suppressing the pain through sheer force of will.
“In a minute I’m going to start puking, and if you don’t tell me what’s going on, you’re going to be the first to take the brunt of it.”
His second eyebrow joined the first. His hand covered hers. “I’ve been puked on by the best. As threats go, you’re going to have to do better.”
As always, under his touch, the pain grew more manageable. “Is that a challenge?”
He moved her hand aside, sliding his beneath. She almost groaned with relief from the heat that radiated inward.
“Merely a statement of fact.” She squeezed Caleb’s fingers, holding on as she unleashed the fears eating her alive.
Fingers.
“I don’t really have any threats.”
“Then what do you have?” Slade asked, his eyes narrowing.
“A lot of fears and a need for answers. A lot of them.”
“What’s your main concern?” Derek asked.
“That if you don’t make peace with the D’Nallys, form strong alliances with the others around you, that the something that’s out there, whatever it is that controls the voices that invade my mind, is going to get in here. Get to my child.” She took a breath. “That terrifies me.”
Caleb swore. His arm around her tightened. She hated putting pressure on him, but at the same time, it couldn’t be helped. This couldn’t continue.
“That would terrify anyone,” Jared agreed.
Caleb ran his hand through his hair. She felt bereft without both his hands around her. Damn, it couldn’t be good the way she was coming to depend on him. “I’m not sure an alliance with the D’Nallys is possible.”
Derek nodded. “They are pissed.”
“Why?” Allie asked.
No one answered. Probably because no one knew. She sighed. “Then maybe that answer should be where you start.”
Jace shifted in his seat. “I’ll give talking to them a shot.”
“I thought you were more interested in irritating them than talking to them,” Caleb said.
Jace shrugged, staring out the window as if what he was searching for was just past the glass pane. “Allie’s right. If we’re going to start being family men, things need to change.”
“We?” Caleb asked with an arch of his brow.
Jace cut Allie a glance. There was a pain in his eyes that made her want to reach out and offer comfort. “If you found a mate, it stands to reason there’s hope for the rest of us.”
“Hope.” Derek rapped his fingers on the table once. “Welcome to the world of the werewolf.”
“Except we’re vampires,” Slade pointed out with that infallible logic of his.
“As I’ve said before, not that anyone would notice.”
Allie rubbed the mark on her finger. “Except for the people you bite.”
“You don’t think a were knows how to mark his mate?” Derek asked, amusement in his expression and his voice.
She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure they know all sorts of archaic chauvinistic things, none of which is pertinent to the situation at hand.”
“And what would be pertinent?”
The words rushed to her throat, clogging on the last of her control. Control that was destroyed by the simple brush of Caleb’s lips across her hair. “Say what you need to say, baby.”
He wanted to hear it? She looked around to find them all watching her. They all wanted to hear it? Fine. They could hear it.
“Okay. How about this? My gut says I’m pregnant. As crazy as that sounds, as impossible as it sounds, I really think I am. When I get really sick, I hear voices calling me, demanding that I come, and I have a really strong need to go, but my gut tells me there’s danger, but I don’t know from where, I don’t know from whom, and because all of you keep me so damn protected and in the dark, I’m pretty sure I’m about to do something stupid on the way to find out, because I simply can’t live like this, afraid of every shadow because I don’t know what’s real and what’s not.”
That quick she was wrapped tight against Caleb, his chin brushed her head, his lips her ear. “Shit.” She dug her nails into his arm, holding him to her because now that her fears were put into words, they had so much more force. “You all have that sum-it-up-in-one-word thing down pat, but right now I need explanations. Facts. Answers.”
“We’ll get your answers,” Caleb promised.
“Though it’ll take time,” Derek warned.
“Because you’re afraid who may be watching?”
“Pretty much.”
“It’s too easy these days for people to track inquiries.”
“What people?”
“Any people.”
This was getting worse by the minute. “You don’t even have specific enemies?”
“Technology has allowed a lot of people to explore their fascinations.”
And vampires were fascinating to humans. “But who is speaking in my head?”
“It has to be the Sanctuary,” Jace said, leaning back in his chair.
“What’s the Sanctuary?”
No one answered.
“If it is the Sanctuary,
we’ve seriously underestimated them.” Slade drummed his fingers on the table. “They shouldn’t be able to lock on her at will.”
“No shit.” Caleb looked at Derek. “Any input?”
“The Sanctuary is a very large group of vamps, but no one’s ever found them to be dangerous.”
“And?”
“Hell if I know.” Derek shrugged. “They’re a weird bunch. They spend a lot of time chanting and studying. They’ve left you all alone because you pretty much haven’t been of interest, holed up as you are here in your neck of the woods training horses and acting human. But bringing in a woman, especially a pregnant one, would catch their interest. They make a science of studying everything vampire.”
Allie couldn’t believe it. There were other vampires out there close enough to visit. Vampires who might have answers to the questions she needed. She glared at Caleb. “You’ve been holding out on me.”
He waved her accusation aside. “They’re fanatics.”
They could worship the color yellow and she didn’t care as long as they could shed some light on her current situation. “You mean a bunch of fanatics who have made it their eternal life’s mission to understand their vampirism?”
“At least their version of it,” Derek responded.
“At this point, anything is better than nothing. And nothing is all you’ve got to offer me when it comes to information about what’s going on with my conversion.”
Derek shook his head and blew out a skeptical breath. “As a source of information, I’d say they’re questionable. Their beliefs are more than a little skewed.”
“But they might have insight as to what’s going on with me.”
“Or they might just decide you’re a sinner in need of redemption.”
“Talking to them would be worth a shot.”
Caleb’s “No” was emphatic. She didn’t care. “I need answers, Caleb. If a bunch of whacked-out religious fanatics have them, I’m all up for paying them a visit.”
“I might be able to shed a little light on your situation,” Slade interrupted.
“You have a theory?” Caleb asked.
Slade nodded and leaned forward over the table, elbows braced, fingers tented, excitement lighting his deep hazel eyes. “Every one of us changed when we converted. Whatever we had before got better. Stands to reason the same would have happened to Allie.”
She blew her bangs off her forehead, touching her feathers self-consciously. It was embarrassing. “I don’t think I got anything.”
Caleb shook his head and pushed off the counter, taking her with him, tucking her into his side in a smooth move. “You’re doing just fine, Allie. We just haven’t discovered your secrets yet.”
“I can’t change even into the simplest thing, can’t even feed like a normal vamp. How is that fine?”
This time when Caleb touched her chin, she tipped her face up, leaning into his side. She really needed to hear something good about herself right now.
“You, baby, can do something better.”
“What’s that?”
His mouth softened. He cupped the curve of her belly. Right on the extra five pounds she blamed completely on her pre-vampire addiction to chocolate. The only thing that kept her from flinching self-consciously away was that expression in his eyes.
“You can make miracles happen.”
14
“HER ability to make miracles might be the reason for her failures at other things,” Slade continued. “For example, I can’t think it would be healthy for the baby for a pregnant woman to shift.”
“Oh God, did I hurt the baby?”
Slade shook his head. “That’s my point. Your body’s not letting you do anything that will hurt the baby.”
Allie’s fingertips rubbed nervously over the back of Caleb’s hand. “Explain.”
“Everything about vamps ties to blood. What if you can’t feed from anyone but Caleb because it’s meant to be that way?”
“I fed from Jared.”
“Just that once and it might have been too early in the pregnancy for there to be a problem.”
Jace frowned. “Hell, that was only the day after she got here.”
“Exactly.” Slade just sat there, eyebrows raised, waiting.
“How would that make a differ—” Jace looked at Caleb, understanding replacing confusion as he dropped his gaze to their linked hands and then back up. “And here I thought turning vampire had slowed you down.”
One by one the men looked at her, then Caleb, and then back to her again. A blush seared from the inside out heating Allie’s cheeks until they felt like they were on fire. “What?”
“Allie . . .”
She ignored Caleb’s warning. There were times when a woman just had to brazen things out. “Are you going to stand there and say you don’t have a sex life?”
Jace laughed. “Hardly.”
Slade looked offended. “No.”
Jared was to the point. “Sure as shit not.”
He looked her over from head to toe. The last of the bear claw crumbled onto the table before him. The corner of his mouth twitched. “Though I can’t say I ever indulged in the middle of a conversion.”
She held her ground and tilted up her chin. “What makes you think I did?”
“Allie?”
She turned on Caleb. “There’s no way he can know when . . .”
“Jared’s gift is an ability to read minds.”
She slapped his arm, mortification rising with nausea at the reminder. “Do not tell me he knows what we did.”
Caleb looked at Jared, who shrugged. That didn’t bode well. “It’s likely.”
She dug her nails into her stomach as the hunger dug deep, then twisted around in exasperation. “What part of ‘do not tell me’ slipped your notice?”
“The middle part.” The back of his fingers brushed down her cheek in a featherlight caress, pausing when they reached her neck, rubbing twice before reversing course. “You need to feed, Allie.”
“Not yet.”
“Yet.”
She shook her head. The feathers bounced, tickling her skin. No wonder no one was listening to her. She still looked like a reject from the cuckoo nest. “I would like to get rid of these feathers first.”
It was a little thing, but she needed to be in control of something.
“I thought you liked them?”
“Don’t be an ass. You know damn well I just can’t figure out how to get rid of them without risking another catastrophe.”
Jared shook his head and pushed his chair back. “You, woman, are a menace.”
“That is so rude.”
Caleb caught her as the hunger bent her double. His hand slipped beneath hers to massage the tight muscles, his body served as a brace for hers. She panted through the pain, wincing as the feathers stabbed into her head as she pressed it against him. “How do birds wear these things?”
The world tilted and another pain stabbed deep as Caleb adjusted her in his lap. Immediately, his hands were there, soothing and warm. Caring for her. He was always caring for her and she did nothing in return.
“Allie?”
Caleb’s deep drawl threaded through her concentration. The pain ebbed, flooding Caleb’s determination. He wasn’t happy with her right now. “What?”
“How long do you think I’m going to let your suffering continue?”
“Long enough for me to get rid of the feathers?”
A boot toe invaded her vision. It was scuffed, worn, and tough. Like its owner.
“I can help you with that,” Jared offered.
He could if she was willing to let him into her mind. In light of everything that had been revealed this evening, she was a little leery of that. She rested her cheek against Caleb’s shoulder and worked through the fear with logic. As tough as Jared was, he wasn’t a match for Caleb. Jared burned with a restless edge, but Caleb wore his strength like others wore hats, with an easy confidence. That being the case, she reall
y didn’t have to be nervous of Jared’s intent. But she was, though she knew Caleb would never let anyone hurt her. She’d never get used to having someone else poking around in her mind, but if she wanted the feathers gone, she’d have to allow it.
“Is there another way?”
Caleb’s hand slid up beneath her hair to rub subtly at the tension in her neck. “You want them gone?”
She titled her head back. The smile lurking in his gaze snatched the sharpness out of her retort. “Don’t you?”
The smile fanned out from the corner of his eyes in sexy creases, adding an intriguing maturity to his innate handsomeness. This was a man who’d lived before and after he’d been converted. This was a man who knew what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it. “I think they’re kind of cute in a different sort of way.”
This was the man who wanted her. The caressing fingers spread until the breadth of his palm settled behind her skull, not demanding, just resting there in an invitation, leaving it up to her whether to accept it or not. She didn’t hesitate. She let him support her, understanding that, for him, the need to do so went much deeper than this moment.
He saw their relationship as a new beginning. For a man who’d lost everything, rebuilt his life, and then lost it all again, that was huge. “I’m different enough, thank you very much.”
His thumb stroked her jawline, and the shake of his head negated her stab at humor. “There’s not a damn thing wrong with you.”
“Only you would say that.”
The corner of his mouth lifted. The warmth of his touch spread deeper. “Only you would think that.”
She shook her head. She was a perfectly normal woman. “Nuh uh.”
The other corner of his mouth joined the first. His lids lowered and the sexy grin shot straight to her core, adding the pang of desire to the hunger churning inside. His thumb came to rest on the pulse point just under her jaw. “How about we let Jared take care of those feathers, and then I’ll take you upstairs and work on proving it.”
The suggestion sucked her mouth dry.
“I’m willing to do my part.” Jared squatted beside her. His calloused hand cupped her cheek, strong like Caleb’s but without the heat. “Look at me, Allie.”
She did for the simple reason that she couldn’t do anything else beneath his compulsion. In his hazel irises the swirls gathered, took shape, highlighting the intriguing flecks of blue and green. The deeper she stared, the more she knew she should understand what she was seeing.
Caleb Page 20
