Another Breath, Another Sunrise: A Holocaust Novel (Michal's Destiny Book 4)

by Roberta Kagan

  CHAPTER 8

  Gilde

  Archie’s face was still undeniably handsome. Even with his cane he was a glorious specimen of a man. It had been her husband Alden who had saved Archie’s life when he had to remove part of his leg because of the war injury. Gilde had been his nurse during the surgery. As she walked towards him, Gilde remembered how angry Archie had been at the time. But he’d also been so damn vulnerable and that had won her heart. Their love affair was one of blind passion. But he’d lied, made promises he never kept, and because of him she’d been forced to leave her nurses training when she became pregnant. How she’d hated him for what he did. Gilde approached him and he turned to look at her. Even now, as their eyes met she felt the color rise in her neck and face. He still had that power over her.

  “Gilde….” He smiled. “I’m glad you came.”

  She cocked her head to one side and bit her lip in contemplation. “I came, not out of love, Archie, out of curiosity.”

  “I don’t care why you came, all I care is that you are here and I will finally have a chance to explain.”

  “I can’t wait.” Her voice was filled with sarcasm.

  “Let’s go and have a cup of tea. We can talk,” he said.

  She nodded. “Yes, let’s.”

  They walked across the street to the closest Lyons tearoom. Gilde suddenly felt a small pang of guilt about meeting Archie.It felt like a betrayal to Alden, to their marriage, to their lives. She should have told Alden the truth. They never kept secrets. She should have been honest with him and said that she planned to meet with Archie. Alden was the kind of man that would have appreciated honesty. But lately she’d been absent from home so much because of her career that she couldn’t tell Alden that she was meeting with Archie. He would have taken it as a betrayal. And, although in the beginning of her stage career, Alden had been supportive, he seemed to be slowly growing resentful. The other day she’d come home late from a show to find him still awake. Alden was sitting on the sofa alone when she entered. He looked up at her and she saw something in his eyes that troubled her.

  “Are you alright?”

  “I’m fine,” he said.

  There were several moments of silence. Then he added, “Gilde, sometimes I feel like I don’t know you anymore. You hardly have time for Vicky, and you never have time for us.”

  “Alden.” She took his hand in hers. “I’m sorry. I have just been busy with the show. I know … the theater is closed on Monday. Why don’t we take Vicky and do something special? Let’s think of something very special….”

  “I can’t. I have to work.”

  “But you wanted me to make time for us….”

  “Everything is always according to your schedule. You pencil me in at your convenience. Our marriage seems to have lost its importance to you.”

  “Please don’t say that, Alden. You know better.”

  “Do I? I don’t know better. I only know what I see.”

  She was tired that night. Performing drained her. It was too difficult to stand there and argue when all she really wanted was to go to bed.

  “I’m exhausted. I can’t fight with you now. I’m sorry. Our marriage is a priority to me. It always has been. Try to understand that I have a job that takes up a lot of my energy. Please… Try to see my point of view here.”

  He glared at her. His face told her that he was angry. But she also knew he was hurt.

  “I’m sorry…” she said again. “Please, let’s talk about this in the morning.”

  He nodded in agreement without uttering another word. She felt uneasy leaving the room. But at the same time she was far too spent to continue. So she went to bed.

  The following morning when Gilde got up, Alden had already left for work. They never openly discussed the situation again. However, he made a few comments that she found hurtful, letting her know that he was not happy. Well, how could she blame him? He had fallen in love with her, married her while she was pregnant with Archie’s child. Then he’d loved little Vicky like she was his own when she was born. At the time Alden had been so romantic. In fact he’d vowed when he married Gilde that he would make her love him. He was like a knight from a children’s book. So gallant, so kind. And he’d succeeded. She loved him. For a while they had been blissfully happy, but then she’d found the theater. Since she was a child, Gilde had wished to be an actress. But it had always been little more than a dream. Then once that dream came true and she heard and felt the audience rock the auditorium with applause, and she took that first bow, she was hooked. It was an addiction as strong as alcohol or drugs. When she was performing, Gilde felt a rush of adrenaline that felt like nothing else. A high, a euphoric feeling … orgasmic.

  The waitress came to the table to take their order. She set down glasses of water. Her presence brought Gilde out of her thoughts and back to the present moment.

  Gilde and Archie sat at a table by the window. He smiled as he ordered them both tea and pastries.

  “So, you wanted to see me? I’m here, Archie. Go ahead, tell me what you’ve wanted to tell me.”

  He cleared his throat and the tea arrived. “I will. I will tell you,” Archie said, placing his napkin on his lap and running his fingers absentmindedly over his spoon. Then he looked up into Gilde’s eyes and said, “I loved you, Gilde. I still do. But, it was my family. I was engaged when I went into the service. My parents expected me to marry my wife ever since we were children. I told my parents about you when I got home. My father threatened to disown me. I would have lost everything, all of my family money, all of my inheritance. My station in life. Gilde … I’ve never had a job, or worked at anything. I wouldn’t know how or where to begin. I was afraid. So, I did what they wanted me to do. And the truth is … I’ve been miserable since.”

  “Do you want me to say I’m sorry for you?”

  “I don’t expect you to be sorry for me. I was wrong. I left you pregnant and alone.” Then he cleared his throat and looked down at the table. “Did you?”

  “Did I what?”

  “Did you have some sort of help to get rid of the pregnancy I mean what happened to the baby?”

  She shook her head. “Why the hell do you care?”

  “Because I have felt terribly guilty every day since I left you.”

  “And would you still feel guilty, Archie, if I weren’t rich and famous?”

  “Yes, Gilde. Yes. I’m glad for you. But yes.”

  “Hmm.” She grunted and looked out the window. “You have a daughter. She’s your blood but she’s Alden’s child. He was there when she was born. He raised her. Her name is Victoria.”

  Archie gasped. “My wife can’t have children. I believe it’s God’s way of punishing me.”

  Gilde said nothing. She stared into his eyes as she sipped her tea.

  “You married Alden? The doctor, my doctor, the fellow who did my amputation?”

  “Yes.”

  “You love him?”

  “I do. And surprisingly, he came from a family of old wealth just like you. But the difference between the two of you is Alden was a man and you are a leech. You are dependent upon your parents and your family name for everything.” Gilde studied Archie and for the first time she saw him clearly. “I thought you were so much better than I was. You were a man of means. Old wealth. Sophistication. I fell blindly for everything I thought you stood for. And I wanted to be a part of your world. But looking at you now. I see you clearly. You’re a nothing. Less than an ant. Without your parents you are nobody.” Gilde took a deep breath. Her heart fluttered. She felt light and free. All this time, she’d wondered what would happen if she ever saw Archie again. Would she still be mesmerized by him? Would she find that she was still hopelessly in love with him? No, no, no, not at all. Finally, she could walk out of this café, leave him behind and not care what happened to him. She was finally free of the memories. A part of her wanted to burst into joyous laughter.

  “Do you have anything else you want to sa
y?” Gilde asked, looking directly into Archie’s eyes.

  “Only that I am happy for you and all of your success. And … that I love you. Mum passed last year and Dad is very ill. I’m unhappy in my marriage, Gilde. Give us another chance…. I’m begging you.”

  Gilde leaned back in her chair. “There was a time, , when I would have done anything to hear you say those words. But now, well, , I am sorry for you. However,, I have no romantic feelings for you any more at all.”

  A look of shock washed over his face.

  Gilde got up and took her handbag. “Goodbye, Archie,” she said, and then as she walked out of the café she whispered, “Goodbye, forever.”

  CHAPTER 9

  Alina Manhattan NY, City Early May 1945

  Running a house of prostitution was more difficult than Alina had ever expected. Of course, if she sat down and really thought about it, she would never have believed that she would end up being a madam. Alina, the girl who had always been so shy, and tried to be so proper when she was young, now ran a whorehouse. As a child, Alina believed she would get married and have children, and her biggest dream was to study and become a teacher. But life had sent her in another direction and she’d done what was necessary to survive. In a way, she was proud of herself for being strong enough to go forward with her business in spite of losing the man she loved and the respect of society. Since Alina opened the business a couple of months ago, she had gotten quite an education about how men behaved when they didn’t feel the need to pretend to be gentlemen. She’d seen men at their best, some were strong and heroic by nature, but she’d also seen the male of the species at their worst. And at their worst, some were vile. But she never lost sight of why she’d opened this business. She needed money, plenty of money to ensure a safe future for her son , who had been crippled by polio. And, no matter the difficulties she must face, she would persevere. Joey must never be left to die because she lacked the funds for his proper medical care.

  Every day she was discovering more about running this tough business. Alina learned that alcohol had different effects on various types of men. Some grew quiet and complacent, others needy. But the ones who became violent were of the greatest concern There were fights at least three times a week, and occasionally one of the girls was beaten. Alina knew she had to do something. From what her employees told her, the customers were more unruly at her brothel than they were when they frequented whorehouses owned by men. She realized that she needed men with physical strength to keep the customers in line.

  One afternoon Alina asked one of the girls to find Klara and tell her to come into Alina’s office. So that they could speak alone, she sent Joey to the kitchen to ask the cook to prepare him a snack.

  Klara knocked on the door.

  “Come in. Sit down. I need some advice,” Alina said. She was sitting behind her desk.

  “Of course.” Klara sat down.

  “As you know the patrons don’t respect me. They think because I am a woman that they can do as they please when they are here at the house. I have to hire some men to keep these fellows in line. Strong men. But, we have to be sure that they will not be averse to having a female boss. You know a lot of people. Do you have any ideas?”

  “I know two men who would be good candidates. They worked for the house I worked for when I first came here.”

  “Do you think they are still working there?” Alina asked. “It’s bad enough that we stole the girls from another brothel owner. Now we would be taking someone’s bouncers as well.”

  “That’s business.” Klara shrugged. Then she smiled. “I’ll find out what they are getting paid. Offer them more. They’ll be happy to change jobs.”

  “Klara. Have you no scruples?”

  “None.” Klara laughed.

  “You are a terrible person. But you are such a wonderful friend and as bad as you are, I do love you. You’ve become like a sister to me.”

  “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll take care of it.”

  “Thank you…”

  “By the way, their names are Sid and Earl. You’ll like them.”

  Three days later Sid and Earl came to work for Alina. As Klara promised, both men were very respectful of Alina and all of the other employees as well. They treated Alina not as a man or woman but as a boss. The new security guards were polite to the girls and considerate. Klara found out what they earned and then she and Alina decided on an amount to pay them. Sid and Earl had almost doubled their salary, and they returned the favor by doing a good job of keeping the male clients under control. Alina also hired a piano player, a good-natured, dark-skinned man of an undetermined age, who called himself Cool Breeze. His smooth voice and skill with the jazz piano was unmatchable. His witty remarks and entertaining stories with underlying life lessons earned him the affectionate nickname “the philosopher.” Alina paid him well, also. Money was plentiful. And because she was secure she wanted to be fair and make sure that her employees were happy and comfortable too.

  The girls who worked for her loved Alina. Unlike other houses, here they had the option to refuse a client if they so desired. They rarely did, but just knowing that they had the choice made the working environment a calm and easy one. The girls were paid better here than anywhere else in the city. The food and the accommodations were better too. Alina was a reasonable boss, but the girls learned quickly that she was certainly no pushover. She demanded that her employees keep themselves clean and attractive. They were not permitted to drink while they lived in the house, and cursing was not tolerated. Although it was a brothel, and Alina never deluded herself into thinking it was a decent business, she was going to keep it as respectable as possible under the circumstances.

  Joey was growing up. And even though he was living in a brothel, he had the benefit of his mother being around all of the time. Not only did he have Alina, he had the comfort and attention of twelve surrogate mothers. Since he was the only child living in the house, all the girls pampered him. They were careful to keep him as ignorant of what was going on in the house as possible. Alina put him to bed early and he was not to leave his room once night fell. Joey’s room was adjacent to Alina’s with a bathroom attached. There was plenty of space for his toys, and no need for him to go downstairs once the customers arrived. Still Alina sometimes felt guilty about bringing her son up in a house of ill repute. But she couldn’t help but feel affection towards her employees when she saw how much the girls adored him. His little broken body endeared him to the women. They’d been hardened by seeing men at their most base, but this harmless, quiet little boy with the twisted legs brought out maternal instincts many of the girls didn’t know they had.

  The house had a good reputation, and so due to word of mouth, the clientele was growing rapidly. Each month the profits were higher than the last. Alina couldn’t have asked for more, and she was pleased that she’d made the choice to open the business, but she was terribly lonely. Things were going just as she’d planned. She would have the material wealth she had hoped for and Joey would have whatever he needed as he got older. But in turn, she knew that because her family would be ashamed of her lifestyle, she must never return to Germany and search for them It had been years since she’d seen her parents, her sister, and her best friend, Lotti. And although she promised herself she would never see Ugo again, she was crazy with worry about him. He could be dead already and she would never even know that he’d been killed in battle. Because she wasn’t his wife, no one would come to inform her.

  Spring was cool in New York, and the air was crisp and breezy. The windows were open in the brothel. All of the male clientele from the night before were already gone. Joey was sitting on the floor with one of the girls, playing a game. Alina sat down at the kitchen table and called for Maybeline, the woman who kept the house clean and did the cooking.

  “Yes, ma’am Would you like some breakfast?”

  There had been an incident the previous night. Things had been going along as usual until a new custome
r arrived. He was a tall handsome man, far too handsome to be paying for the company of a lady. Alina was angry with herself for not realizing this. She should have seen the problems before they escalated. But she didn’t. The customer had been allowed to go to a room with one of her girls. And it was only when they’d heard the screaming downstairs that Alina realized why the customer had needed to come to a brothel. By the time Sid got to the room the girl had a broken nose and had to be sent to the hospital. Then things got even worse when the customer refused to leave without a fight. Sid hit him and then he tried to return the blow. Sid knocked him to the ground then physically threw him out the door. Some of the knickknacks in the house were broken and glass was everywhere. During the squabble, one of the girls had been pushed against a china cabinet. Her arm had needed five stitches.

  Because of the bouncers, this sort of thing didn’t happen often. But, when it did, Alina was unnerved. It was a harsh reminder that she owned a shady business where anything could happen.

  “Ma’am? Breakfast?” Maybeline asked again.

  “Oh, I’m sorry for not answering, my mind was wandering. Breakfast? No, thank you, May, not hungry. Just a cup of coffee would be wonderful,” Alina said

  “Black with sugar like always?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  Alina lit a cigarette. Most of the girls smoked. And lately she too had begun smoking. It calmed her nerves.

  “Has anyone seen Meredith this morning? Poor thing. I can’t believe her nose is broken” Alina said

  “She’s all right. I checked on her when I got up. I’m sure she’s probably still hurting,” one of the girls answered as she was stirring her coffee with slender fingers that were adorned with strawberry nail polish.

  “And Joan. I think she had to have five stitches.” .

  “She was fine last night. I haven’t seen her since. She’s still upstairs sleeping.”

  Alina pulled her silk robe tighter around her slender waist and retied the belt. She sipped her coffee and looked out the window. Even though she felt guilty about the two girls who had gotten hurt she couldn’t be sorry that she’d decided to open the house. The money was flowing. The girls were earning better pay than they had at their old jobs. She and Joey were secure. And Alina would never have to bow down to a man the way she’d had to with Trevor. She owned the house. No man told her what to do.