“Sebastian, oh, Sebastian.” She was moaning his name without even being aware she did so as he did the most unbelievable things to her with his fingers, touching her in ways she had never dreamt of, rubbing and caressing and holding her until her legs spread wide for him and she was writhing with pleasure. When finally she felt one finger work its way inside her, she could stand it no more. She cried out, stiffening, arching, and then he was groaning as his finger was removed and replaced with that hot naked male part of him that had been pressed so tightly against her thigh.
He thrust himself inside her, forcing himself in, pushing so that she feared she must split in two, and she didn’t care. She clung to him, head thrown back, eyes closed, as he possessed her, slowly at first, and then as she arched mindlessly against him harder and faster, his hands gripping her bottom as he held her still for his taking. She cried out at last, sobbing, her nails raking fiercely over his back as he thrust into her again and again, hurting her, but at the same time filling her with a fiery ecstasy that made the pain a small price to pay. She heard the hoarse gasp of his breathing, and answered it with her own. She felt his sweat drip onto her body to sizzle at the heat of her bare skin. She tasted the salt tang of his skin, smelled the musky scent of man, saw the gleam of taut, sweating back muscles as they flexed in the firelight. Then he was moving faster and faster, harder and harder, taking her with him, forcing her to writhe and cling and cry out as she tried to escape this fiery torment.
“Sebastian!” She moaned his name again as her hands slid down over his back to clutch at his steel-muscled buttocks. He cried out as she dug her nails into his hard flesh, and then drove into her with a force that sent her whirling, lost in a haze of smoke and fire and darkness. She felt him stiffen, shuddering, and then a cataclysmic ecstasy seized her and spun her away into a dark mindless void.
XVI
A long time later, Julia’s eyes fluttered open to the sound of stertorous snoring. First she blinked groggily. Then she became aware of a crushing weight sprawled across her, bearing her down into the carpet. Finally she grew conscious of several things at once: first, she was naked from just below the shoulders down; second, the snoring dead weight was Sebastian, and from the ear shattering quality of his breathing he was fathoms deep asleep; and third, she had just become his woman in the most primitive sense. Remembering what he had done to her and how it had made her feel, she felt fiery red color steal into her cheeks. Moving carefully so as not to waken him, she lifted her hand to touch his hair. That beautiful silver-gilt hair …
There was a soreness between her thighs, and the sensitive skin of her breasts tingled and ached. She had given up without a murmur of protest the prize she had always defended so valiantly in the face of such overwhelming odds. Remembering Mick, Willy Tilden, and the others before them who had wanted to do the man-woman thing with her, and remembering the way she had kicked and bit and fought to keep them off her when the occasion warranted it, she was amazed as she realized that she hadn’t even tried to defend herself against Sebastian. She could have fought him off, if she would have. Probably she would have needed to do no more than icily demand to be unhanded. Instead she had responded with a fierce ardor that had made the prize of her virginity merely an obstacle to be gotten out of the way.
Her body quivered even now as she remembered how he had kissed her, and touched and caressed and possessed her—Sebastian! Her own Sebastian, the most beautiful man she had ever seen in her life, who had once been as far above her touch as the stars, had made her his. For the first time in her life she belonged to someone, and what a someone: Sebastian.
His snores assaulted her ears, and she smiled, her hand coming up again to stroke the bright hair. What had happened had been unbelievable, both in the act itself and in how it had made her feel, but she did not regret it. No, she did not regret it in the least. Not with Sebastian.
Now she was his woman, and he would belong to her forever and ever. Would he marry her? Her mouth curved with amusement as she tried to imagine herself as the Countess of Moorland. Little Jewel Combs a countess? No, she corrected herself fiercely, not Jewel Combs, never Jewel Combs. The eighth Earl of Moorland could never marry Jewel Combs. But Julia Stratham—now that was a different person altogether. She was suddenly fiercely glad for the lessons and training that had made her a lady. For Sebastian. Her lips twitched suddenly as she considered how Sebastian had drummed one boring bit of knowledge after another into her head. The whole time he had been making her worthy of him, and he hadn’t even known it. But now, as he had said himself, Julia Stratham was a very lovely lady indeed, and a fit mate to spend life at his side.
Gradually she noticed that the fire had died to a heap of glowing ashes. The parts of her body that were not covered by his were cold, and all of her was uncomfortable. Her back ached and her legs were falling asleep and her neck was stretched into the most awkward position imaginable to accommodate his bright head wedged into the curve between neck and shoulder. She was glad she had awakened first, glad that she had had those few moments to get her thoughts in order. But now it was time for him to awaken too. Those blue eyes would open and meet hers and he would smile—what would he say? Julia suddenly blushed. She felt deliciously shy and uncertain, like a bashful child.
“Sebastian.” Tentatively she nudged the hard-muscled arm that sprawled across her middle. He was still wearing his shirt, and she had to fight an urge to run her hand over the linen covered muscle. Remembering the feel of those muscles, she blushed again. Becoming one with a man, this man, had been like nothing she had ever imagined. The mere memory was enough to take her breath away.
He didn’t move, didn’t by so much as a gasp or a twitch acknowledge her. Julia tried again, nudging him harder this time. When that didn’t work, she caught hold of the shoulder nearest her and gave it a good shake. The steady snores continued unabated, and Julia remembered the amount of brandy he had consumed. He had been the next thing to foxed…. He would probably sleep for hours, and nothing she did was going to wake him up. Just as well, she decided after a moment. She must look a mess with her clothing twisted about her body and her hair mussed into a mass of tangles that straggled down to her waist. When he saw her next, she wanted to be beautiful, and every inch a lady. Picturing how he would see her if he awoke now suddenly horrified her.
Getting out from under him was quite a trick, but by dint of much wriggling and shoving she managed it. When she was on her feet at last, tugging her clothes down and smoothing them, he lay on his back on the floor, eyes closed and mouth slightly open as he snored with abandon. Even like that, when most men would have looked at best slightly repulsive and at worst obscene, he was beautiful. The silver-gilt hair was wildly disordered, but disorder became him. The shadow of a surprisingly dark stubble had appeared to darken his cheeks and chin, but that became him, too. He was still fully dressed, she discovered, even to his boots. But his shirt was twisted around his waist so that an inch or two of pale skin stretched taut over ridged muscle was visible. She was fascinated to see a faint line of dark gold hairs trail downwards. His pantaloons were unbuttoned. As Julia absorbed that fact and its import, she felt hot color wash up over her neck and quickly averted her eyes. Even after having been so intimate with him, she was still ignorant of his body and its functions. She supposed that she would soon learn, just as she had learned everything else about being a lady. Sebastian’s lady.
She hated to leave him to spend the night on the floor, but there was no way she was going to be able to shift him by herself. And she blushed again at the very thought of asking Johnson or Leister to come and put their master to bed. They would guess what had happened at a glance.
A light rug had been left folded on the back of one of the chairs to ward off the occasional chill, and Julia compromised by spreading that over him. There were no pillows that she could see, but the coat he had discarded earlier was thrown casually over yet another chair. Catching the garment up, she held it in her hand
s for a moment and pictured it covering broad shoulders and muscular arms. Then she folded it with scant regard for the delicate fabric and placed it beneath his head. He snored on without so much as the flicker of a surprisingly long eyelash as she positioned his head on the makeshift pillow. Julia stood up, looking down at him for a long moment with a faint smile on her face. When she had first made the acquaintance of the elegant, arrogant Earl of Moorland, she had never in the furthest reaches of her imagination dreamed that in the course of a few short months she would see him like this.
Still smiling, she blew him a kiss and let herself out of the room. Already she was tingling in anticipation of the morrow; she would be Sebastian’s love as well as his friend….
She woke late the next morning. The sun was shining through the open curtains, which Julia knew meant that Emily had been in the room. She stretched luxuriously against the pillows, glad to be alone. She felt marvelously, wonderfully alive. Even the faint ache between her thighs felt good to her. Because of Sebastian. It was proof that she belonged to Sebastian.
A creak of the door hinges heralded Emily’s return. Julia sat up in bed, shaking her head to clear the last traces of sleep from it, and smiled at her maid.
“Good morning, Miss Julia,” Emily said composedly as she saw that her mistress was awake at last. “Shall I bring your chocolate now?”
“Yes, please, Emily. Oh, and I’d like a bath this morning, please.” Julia was already climbing out of bed and crossing to the window to look out at the sun sparkling off the thin crust of frost that had covered the ground during the night. It was the first frost of the season, and it made her faintly sad to see it. Already summer was over, and fall was here.
Pulling the folds of the wrapper closer about her (not the one she had worn the night before) she turned back into the room to find that Emily had disappeared again. When the girl returned moments later with her breakfast of chocolate and rolls, Julia was surprised to find herself ravenous. Because of all the unaccustomed exercise of the night before, she thought with an inward giggle, and fell upon the meal with relish.
The bath was readied while she ate. She dismissed Emily for the first time in months, finding that she was newly shy about anyone seeing her nakedness after the events of the night. Sebastian, in making her body his, had changed it into something entirely new, something that she was not even totally familiar with herself. Besides, her native practicality warned, there might be some mark upon her skin that would betray her new state. It felt as though there should be—she was full of aches in the most unexpected places, she discovered as she climbed into the tub and washed herself vigorously from head to toe. Rubbing the rose scented soap that she had come to love into her hair, wanting the strands to be shining and sweet smelling for Sebastian, she hummed one of the gay little dance tunes that he had taught her, pausing from time to time to smile tenderly as she recalled dancing in his arms. If she had known then how wonderful it would feel to be utterly his, they would never have gotten any dancing done at all. The idea set her to giggling again. She giggled and blushed and soaped her arms and legs and wondered how he would like the scent of roses. At the idea that she would certainly find out, she blushed and dreamed some more.
Last night she had washed the physical signs from her body in the cold water left in the washstand before she had gone to bed. At the first sight of her virgin’s blood staining her legs and her clothes, she had been a little dismayed. Had he hurt her in some way? But after a life spent in the gutters of London, there was little she had not been exposed to. She had seen young girls sold to old madames to be used for the pleasure of men, and wondered at the high prices they brought until it was crudely explained to her that they were new merchandise and thus highly valued by clients. So Julia knew about virgins and virginity, and after a brief moment’s pause had sponged the blood away without fearing she was injured or dying as so many young girls did. She had put on a fresh nightgown and hidden the ruined nightgown and wrapper, then climbed into bed to think dreamily of Sebastian until at last she fell asleep.
Her bath water having grown cold, Julia returned her thoughts to practical matters and stepped out of the tub.
Wrapping her hair and her body in towels, she padded to the wardrobe. Today she would choose what she would wear, something that would make her look her most beautiful for Sebastian.
“You look wonderful, miss,” Emily said with sincerity some time later as she styled Julia’s hair. Julia sat at her dressing table looking into the mirror.
“Thank you, Emily,” she responded with real gratitude, and smiled at the maid through the glass.
In truth, she thought, looking at her reflection, she did look good. Emily had piled her black hair high on her head in an elegant style that bared the nape of her neck so that it looked impossibly long and slender. Her eyes sparkled like topazes beneath the silky black wings of her brows, and her matte white skin had just the faintest blush of color as it stretched over the high cheekbones that gave her face its unusual claim to beauty.
The months of good living she had enjoyed had changed her past all recognition, she decided, noting how straight and slender her nose was above full, well shaped lips that needed no crushed rose petals rubbed over them to provide their rich mauve color. Even the black dress became her. She had chosen one of elegant striped silk today, with leg-of-mutton sleeves and demure high neckline ornamented with a simple cameo (a gift from Sebastian) at the base of her throat. In the severe dress with its tight bodice and full skirt she looked the very picture of a lady. Julia smiled tentatively at herself in the mirror. It was hard to believe that the beautiful young woman who smiled back was herself.
“Can I get you anything else, Miss Julia?” Emily stood back to survey her handiwork with obvious pride. Julia took one final look in the mirror, then stood up.
“No, thank you, Emily, that will be all,” she said.
Emily dropped her a quick curtsy before leaving the room. Julia, following more slowly, marvelled at how quickly she had become accustomed to being the mistress of servants, to giving orders and being waited on. But as she descended the stairs into the great hall, nervousness drove every other thought from her head. Soon she would see Sebastian. What would he say? At the memory of what they had done together, bright color crept into her cheeks, and her eyes sparkled. What could one say after a night like that? She didn’t have the least idea, but she devoutly hoped Sebastian did.
“Good morning, Johnson.” She greeted him with a beaming smile as she stepped down into the hall. Then, recalling the last time she had seen Johnson and realizing the suspicions he couldn’t help but have after the way Sebastian must have been discovered this morning, she felt another rush of color to her cheeks. Her eyes quickly inspected Johnson’s face. His answering smile was warm and held no hint that he had any inkling of how much her world had changed since she had last spoken with him.
“Good morning, Miss Julia. A very fine morning, if I may say so.”
“You certainly may.” Julia couldn’t seem to repress her gaiety. Soon the whole world would know that she belonged to Sebastian. Even if there was no public announcement, she would not be able to keep the shining joy out of her eyes whenever she looked at him.
“Is his lordship about yet this morning?” No matter how carefully she phrased the question, Julia still found that her cheeks were pinkening again.
“He went riding, miss. He’s been gone about two hours, so he should be back soon.”
“Oh.”
“If you don’t need anything, Miss Julia, I’ll be about my work now.”
“Oh, yes. I mean, no, I don’t need anything, Johnson.”
The butler bowed and took himself off. Julia walked slowly down the length of the hall, chewing lightly at her lower lip. She had been all keyed up for her encounter with Sebastian, and it was something of an anticlimax to find that he had gone riding on this of all mornings. It was something he did nearly every day, but somehow she had expected that
today would be different.
Reaching the end of the hall, she turned back toward the stairs. Vaguely she was aware of a footman and then a maid scurrying across her path as they went about their duties, but she hardly registered them. She would go crazy if she hung about the house waiting for Sebastian’s return. She was much better off in the open air herself, with something active to do. She would go for a walk, and by the time she returned he would almost certainly be back.
Julia lifted a hand to the little maid who was busy polishing the oak banister, and the girl stopped what she was doing and came across to her, dropping a curtsy and looking nervous. Julia smiled to set her at ease, then sent her in search of Emily with instructions for Emily to bring her cloak. The maid hurried off, and in no time Julia was bundled up in the warm hooded cloak of tightly woven alpaca that Miss Soames had sent over as the weather grew colder.
It was cold out, the heather was crisp beneath the little kid boots that buttoned up to her ankles. Her breath hung in the air like puffs of white smoke, and her nose was soon chilled at the tip. She wandered around the topiary garden admiring the living sculptures of beasts. It took one gardner working full time to keep the shrubs so perfectly shaped, but Julia didn’t see him around anywhere today. Her eyes lifted to the rooms that made up Chloe’s suite, but there was no movement at the curtained windows. After the tumultuous events of the previous night, the child was very likely still asleep.
Julia wandered around the perimeter of the north wing of the house, a frown creasing her brow as she thought about Chloe. Obviously Sebastian terrified the child. But why? Last night Sebastian had still refused to discuss the subject. Julia’s face lightened briefly as she considered what they had done instead. He had certainly managed to distract her from the subject, she thought with a quick smile. But not forever. She still wanted to talk to him about Chloe, and sooner or later she would.
Loving Julia Page 16
