Katie looked away and down towards the ground and her shoes.
Ryan took her chin in his hand and tilted it back up towards him.
"I've missed you Angel ... you've missed me too. Let's talk. I'll drive."
Katie's stomach growled and they laughed.
He took her hand, closed the driver side door to the blue jeep and led Katie down the driveway.
Katie looked at the medium sized, crew cab, pick up truck parked by the curb in front of the house. It was fire engine red with black tinted windows. She laughed inside. She found it amusing and could relate to his need to obsess over his career. Back in Bolton Bay, Katie would volunteer at the counseling center at the hospital when she wasn't working. She even wore her nursing pants while hanging around the house. It was no different from Ryan and his ‘fire engine red’ truck.
Ryan opened the door for Katie and he heard her stomach growl again.
"Where are we going?"
"From the sounds of your stomach we're going to get something to eat. I know a place in Pearl and I'll have us there in fifteen minutes."
Katie got in and off they went to Pearl, a small town outside Warren's Cove.
The drive was quiet and peaceful, as Ryan drove the car over the winding roads that bordered the coastline. He looked over towards Katie, her long brown hair drying naturally with the wind. She was lovely and all he wanted to do was to pull her into his arms and take all her fear and sadness away.
He thought about his conversation with Billy last night. Katie had held in so much for so long. She was strong and stubborn but what she revealed to her family was heart wrenching. He wished she would have told him and had confided in him, but that was his own fault. Ryan had allowed her to believe the worst about him and his reaction at The Pit the other night was uncalled for. He could not help the jealousy he felt. Ryan knew he wanted Katie all to himself but he did not realize just how much until she was angry with him. She would not talk to him or return any of his calls, which drove him crazy. Then there was her misunderstanding about Shelly. Ryan could not face Shelly because he felt she would blame him for her permanent injuries and for not rescuing her sooner. He needed Katie to know the truth.
That night haunted his dreams and when Shelly told him that she never blamed him for his injuries, he was speechless. What an idiot he had been. He wasted so much time, time spent helping Shelly and being the true and complete hero she believed he was. She forgave him for not being there and then she asked him to be her friend. What an amazing young woman.
Ryan recalled feeling so happy and it was as if a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders.
Then Billy showed up in a rage of anger, stating that Ryan was no longer his friend.
Billy was mad as hell and in a fit of rage, he shoved Ryan against the garage door to the house.
Ryan stood his ground and demanded an explanation.
Ryan would never forget the conversation.
"How could you be so cruel? How could you not help that poor girl get through her injuries? Who cares that you could not deal with looking at the scars? They're scars and they are not Shelly's fault. The fire did it!” Billy yelled and Ryan stood there confused and on the defensive.
"I didn't forget about her or not continue to see her because of the injuries."
"Bullshit!” Billy exclaimed. “They're just scars, you're not the one who has to live with them."
"Billy I don't think you understand. I couldn't go see Shelly because it was my fault she has such bad scars ... If only I had gotten there sooner.” Ryan bowed his head and leaned against the garage door.
Billy watched him. What a mess this was and now Katie was suffering as well.
"So you care about Shelly? You didn't turn your back on her because you couldn't look at her injuries?” Billy asked running his fingers through his hair. His heart ached for his sister.
"No! I blame myself and that is why I stayed away. I didn't even know that Shelly was back until Katie accused me of being selfish and heartless."
"She's scared, that's all,” Billy whispered.
"Scared of what? Scared of me? Billy I wouldn't hurt your sister. I care about her. She can't see that."
"She has her reasons and they're becoming clearer."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Ryan blurted out, getting in Billy's face. “You don't think I'm good enough for your sister."
"You don't know what she's been through, Ryan. You don't even take the time to see, to read between the lines. Is she just another piece of ass to you?” Billy yelled and stuck his finger at Ryan's chest
Ryan pushed Billy's finger away.
Billy swung at Ryan and missed.
Ryan swung at Billy and missed.
Billy swung back and the two men grabbed each other.
They slugged it out making contact a few times and Billy's temper got the best of him.
"My sister's not some piece of ass for you to claim. I won't stand by and let you hurt her, damn it. Friendship or not!” Billy yelled then took another swing, hitting Ryan in the jaw.
Ryan swung back, missed and yelled in anger, “I love her!"
Billy stopped and his mouth dropped.
Then Billy told Ryan everything that Katie had told her family, that same night.
Ryan looked back towards Katie. Would she be angry that Billy told him everything? Could he make her see why he did not go see Shelly sooner?
Ryan pulled the truck into the parking lot down by the marina.
The place was empty, the lunch crowd long gone and Ryan was grateful, he wanted to be alone with her.
He opened the door for Katie, taking her hand and leading her to the restaurant. The sounds of soft island music filled the air and a gentle breeze caressed against the green canvas awnings that covered half the deck.
"I haven't been here in ages,” Katie whispered as the waitress led them to a table outside.
She recalled that Caspers used to be an old boathouse where the local fishermen gathered before heading out to sea. It was a cozy, well-maintained, little restaurant well hidden from the non-locals. A few men gathered by the bar inside, only glancing up a moment as Ryan and Katie were led through the inside dining area. Katie loved the atmosphere and feel of the restaurant. Many fishermen and true natives to the island of Warrens Cove traveled through these doors and boarded their boats right at the docks just outside the porch area. Katie was amazed at the thought and always loved the place. The restoration of the boathouse and how the owners maintained the nostalgic power of the location was impressive.
They sat at a private table by the water near the corner of the dock. The water from the departing boats rocked gently against the seawall. The waitress took their order then headed back inside.
Katie watched the boats enter and exit the marina. It was a perfect day for sailing and a boat ride.
Katie stayed silent and avoided exchanging glances with Ryan until she felt his touch.
Ryan reached across the table and took Katie's hand.
Their gazes met then Katie looked down at her hand.
He noticed the small heart shaped ring with a ruby in the center. It sat on her ring finger.
"That's a lovely ring,” he whispered, caressing her finger and he wondered if Bradley had given it to her. Billy told Ryan about Katie's boyfriend dying in the fire and about him being a firefighter.
"Thanks. My dad gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday.” She smiled as she looked at the ring. She wore it all the time.
"That's special. I heard your dad was a great firefighter. The chief always speaks of him."
"They were good friends."
"Kind of like me and Billy."
Katie smiled. She stared at Ryan, she was sure he knew about the fire. Everyone was aware of it by now. She cringed just thinking about what he thought. Did he just feel sorry for her? She could not help but wonder.
"Billy came to see me the other night. He told me about the fire ... he told me everyt
hing."
She tried to pull her hand away. “Why would he do that? He knew I was angry with you."
Ryan took Katie's hand again. “He came over to tell me off. He was upset thinking that I was using you, would hurt you or not accept you with the scars and your experience. He made the same accusation you did about Shelly."
Katie's eyes widened in shock, Ryan figured she was upset that he knew about her scars. He was certain she probably wondered why Billy revealed her secret.
"He was wrong about Shelly. So were you."
Katie was about to argue when Ryan continued talking.
"I couldn't see Shelly go through all that pain because I felt that it was my fault. If I had only gotten to her sooner then it could have turned out differently."
"Oh Ryan, I'm sorry. You cannot control destiny. It is not your fault and Shelly does not blame you. She told me. She thinks of you as her hero. You saved her life and she is so thankful. She looks great Ryan. You should see her."
Ryan gazed into Katie's eyes. “I did."
Katie squeezed Ryan's hand. “What?"
"I went to see her yesterday. It was all in my head. You were right, she doesn't hate me.
"I'm so glad Ryan. I bet she missed you."
Ryan glanced away towards the water then gazed back at Katie.
"What about you? Do you miss me?"
Katie's eyes filled up with tears. She missed Ryan. She missed his embrace, his kisses and she dreamed about making love with him.
Katie nibbled her bottom lip.
"Tell me you missed me Angel. Tell me you want me as badly as I want you."
"Oh Ryan.” The tears escaped Katie's eyes. She tried to wipe them away but they just kept flowing. Ryan rose from his chair and sat in the chair beside Katie, embracing her shoulders.
"Don't be afraid. Don't push me away and assume I can't handle your pain or your injuries. You are gorgeous, you are such an amazing woman and I want to be with you. I've never wanted anything more."
Ryan took Katie's face gently in his hand and kissed her lips. He could taste the salty water from her tears then he embraced her.
"I'm sorry I let my temper get the best of me the other night. I was jealous and you had every right to be angry with me. I didn't handle the situation calmly. I can't lose you, and I promise that won't ever happen again.” Ryan kissed Katie's nose.
Katie wiped the tears from her eyes.
"I did notice that about you. I guess having a call sign like ‘Bull’ doesn't help either?” she teased, then smiled.
"No it doesn't. However, ‘Angel’ suits you well. I'm a better person when I'm with you."
Katie smiled, looked down at her hands on her lap then back to Ryan.
"Why do you get so angry, Ryan?"
Her forwardness shocked him, her ability to make him want to spill his every emotion, pain and triumph from one ‘not so simple’ question.
"I guess I've always allowed my anger and frustration to make the decisions for me. As a kid, I used my fists a lot to solve my problems, my inadequacies. It took me a long time to gain some control over that. It's one of my many faults.” He smirked but then it disappeared. Now he turned away for a moment, taking a breath and realizing he never admitted this much about himself to anyone.
Katie turned her body towards Ryan's then placed her hand against his cheek.
She looked into his green eyes, the eyes she admired and found strength in.
"Letting your emotions get the best of you is not a fault or an inadequacy, Ryan. Letting the anger build up so much for so long and not talking to someone about it is the problem. You are human, Ryan. As much as you have conditioned yourself to believe that you are not ... you are human. If life did not affect you or if seeing Shelly injured did not hurt so badly then you would not be the man you are today. The firefighter who wants to save the world from ever becoming a victim of a fire.
"I'm sorry that I assumed you didn't care about Shelly, that you were selfish and that you wouldn't be able to handle...” Katie pulled her hand away she could not complete her sentence. The tears filled her eyes and she swallowed so hard that she was certain Ryan heard her.
Now Ryan took his hands and placed them against Katie's cheeks. He softly kissed her lips.
"How about from here on out we give each other a chance instead of just assuming?” He smiled.
"Okay,” Katie agreed then laid her head against Ryan's shoulder. He placed his arm around her, silently looking out towards the water.
The waitress brought along their food.
Ryan remained by her side during lunch. They ate, enjoyed one another's company then headed out of the restaurant.
Ryan headed back towards Warrens Cove. They held hands as he drove along the coastline.
She did not say a word as they approached Ryan's house, she was nervous although her heart raced with anticipation. She had silently hoped he would take her back to his home. Katie did not want today to end.
As they entered the house, Katie noted two wineglasses sitting on the island in the center of the kitchen
Ryan walked to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of red wine. Katie met him by the island in the kitchen.
She read the label, 1995 Chateau Ste Michelle Reserve Merlot.
"Did you have this all planned out Ryan? How did you know what my response to you would be?” Katie teased.
Ryan gently took the bottle of wine from Katie and gazed into her eyes. She recognized that look, it was beyond flirtatious, and it was a look of hunger and desire. She instantly felt the fluttering inside her belly.
"You're a reasonable young woman. Besides, if you fought me on it I would have moved to plan ‘B'."
Ryan opened the wine and poured them each a glass.
He handed one to Katie. “What was plan ‘B'?"
Ryan hesitated then took a sip of wine from his glass.
He touched the material against Katie's belly, gently gliding his finger across her ribs then to her waist as he answered her.
"Well, it involved throwing you over my shoulder, bringing you back here, tying you down and making you see that I'm not such a bad guy."
"Lucky for you plan ‘A’ worked."
Katie took a sip of wine from her glass and smiled. She hoped she appeared confident despite the fact that her legs were about to give out. Ryan's seductive answer to her question combined with his touch was enough to make her want to jump him right there in the kitchen. The thought of Ryan throwing her over his shoulder appealed to her.
Ryan held Katie's gaze, appearing serious then he gently took her wrist into his hand. “I will do whatever it takes to make you see that we're meant to be together. My life is better because of you. I need you, Angel, more than you know.” He kissed her wrist then smiled.
Ryan took the wineglass from Katie's hand and placed it beside his on the island.
Then he pulled Katie into his arms.
Ryan kissed her softy, savoring the taste of wine, blackberry and plum.
"I want to make love to you Angel. Please tell me you want me too?” He whispered his plea and Katie welcomed his mouth over her own again.
Ryan's mouth savored her neck, her collarbone. His hands caressed her body, following the curves of her hips.
He reached under the hem of her dress to her thigh, pulling her leg against him as he caressed her backside.
"Tell me Angel, please tell me,” he begged of her and Katie could feel herself trembling.
She wanted Ryan with all her heart, yet she still feared his reaction to her scars. As if sensing it, Ryan spoke softly, convincing her that it would be all right.
"I know you're scared Angel, I know it's been a while but I won't hurt you ... I'm in love with you."
Katie grabbed Ryan's face between her hands, the tears stung her eyes, her heart raced and he smiled, looking back at her.
"You what?"
"I'm in love with you ... and I'm not afraid to say it."
"But Ryan, we—"<
br />
"Shhhh ... I know you're afraid but you don't have to be anymore. I'm going to take all your fears away Angel, I'm going to protect you."
Before she could respond, Ryan was kissing her again then lifting her into his arms.
"Put your arms around my neck and tell me where to go.” He nodded his head up towards the staircase and the bedroom. He would not go there unless she gave the okay, admitted her need for him as well.
Katie smiled.
"I want you too, Ryan."
He smiled wide, kissed her again and effortlessly carried her in his arms then climbed the stairs towards the bedroom. Ryan had drawn the shades and through the opened window, Katie could hear the roar of the ocean. It was high tide and the waves pounded against the boulders that separated the beach and the ocean.
She could envision the white foam descending over the rocks after each break. Katie absorbed the atmosphere the peacefulness that surrounded them.
There was calmness despite Katie's fluttering stomach and warmth between her legs.
It felt right, natural.
Ryan held Katie close, standing in front of her, letting his fingers run through her hair.
Katie closed her eyes, absorbing his touch, his every show of affection.
He was solid and strong and his cologne intoxicating. He had no idea what strength, power and security Katie felt just from being in his presence. Ryan could heal her and the realization immediately struck her.
The tear escaped her eye.
"Are you all right, Angel?” He let the palm of his hand caress her neck under her hair.
He kissed her on the lips and she smiled and nodded her head ‘yes'.
Katie lifted her chin as Ryan kissed her neck, rubbed her arms then knelt on the rug in front of her.
His head was eye level with her ribs, his hands made their way from her ankles to her thighs. Katie placed her hands on Ryan's shoulders.
He hugged her against him, she could feel the warmth of his body instantly surrounding her. His warm breath as it penetrated through the material of her dress and against her skin.
Ryan slowly began to push up the hem of Katie's dress, leaning down kissing her knees, her thighs. Katie crossed her arms against her waist, was afraid of what his reaction would be to the scarring.
First One In Last One Out Page 19
