“Correct. Some people are prejudiced against kids who were in the system. They think we’re damaged beyond repair and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Dolly told people I was her niece to avoid all that and Mandrake Falls loved me into what I am today—a solid citizen. I’d lay down my life for this town. That’s the truth, Sawyer. That’s why I give you and your brother a hard time in the Gazette. I’m not trying to hurt you or be rude. I’m being ....” She tapped her cheek thoughtfully, “...what’s the word you used? Vigilant. I’m being vigilant.”
Sawyer’s mouth twisted to a grin. “Okay, so I had you all wrong and maybe, just maybe, you have me all wrong. Maybe we’re on the same team.” He opened his door. “Come on. Let’s try this again. Shelby Porter, I have a tire swing in my back yard. Would you care to see it?”
Sawyer took her hand and led her through the dark to the back of the house. The McIntyre back yard sprawled, contained by a split rail fence that separated it from the surrounding farm land. It designed for two growing boys with sand pits and forts and a tire swing that hung from a thick branch of the apple tree. Light from an upstairs window spilled into the yard. Shelby tucked her body in the tire and pumped her legs.
“You’re doing it wrong.” Sawyer watched from the base of the tree.
“How can I be doing it wrong? It’s a swing.”
“You have to push your weight forward to get it going. Pumping your legs comes after—oh hell, it’s too painful to watch.” Sawyer stepped behind her and gave her a hard push that sent her flying up into the dark night sky. “There. Like that.”
Shelby’s stomach swooped and she screamed, gripping the tire harder. “I’ve never been on a swing before!”
“Get out of here. They must have had swings, even in the city. What about the parks?”
Shelby tipped back as far as she could without losing her grip on the rope. Her legs pointed high into the air. “I never went to parks. Most foster parents are wonderful. I didn’t get those ones. The ones I got covered the basics: food, clothing, shelter. I wasn’t complaining though. Their basics were more than I got from my parents.”
“Never been on a swing. Is there anything else I should know before we take this engagement any further?”
“I’m a vegetarian.”
“Well, that’s never going to work. I eat meat.”
“It’s just pretend, Sawyer. You don’t have to convert or anything. Although it wouldn’t kill you to give it a try.”
“No, thanks. There isn’t enough tofu in the world to tempt me.”
“If it’s seasoned well—”
“People always say that about foods that are good for you that no one wants to eat.”
“Fine. You’re not a vegetarian.”
Sawyer shot her a grin that might have been an aphrodisiac for the effect it had on her. The little hairs on the back of her neck prickled with alarm. He had a beautiful smile. She twisted away so he wouldn’t see what she was thinking. Never in her wildest imaginings did she believe she would ever feel anything more for Sawyer than a grudging respect. He was getting to her. She was beginning to be interested in him. To think about him.
“Sawyer, do you ever wish it had turned out differently for you and Janice?”
“Yes, sure I do. All the time. I wish we knew what we both wanted before we got engaged. I wish I knew where I was going to be in ten years and who I was going to be with. I asked Janice to marry me thinking it was leading to a home and children. I was ready. I thought she was the one I could build a life with.”
Shelby snorted. “That’s no reason to get married. You ask a woman to marry you because your heart will crack if you don’t have her with you. Kids grow up, houses sell; life has a way of twisting you around so you have no idea where you’ll be a week from now, never mind ten years. You marry a human being not a lifestyle.”
He turned his face to the night sky. “Well, I guess I got what I deserved then.”
“Yes, but for what it’s worth, I think Janice was making the same mistake. Marrying a lifestyle instead of a man.” She said this carefully, knowing it could sting.
“That she was,” he said with a short, hollow laugh. “Country life didn’t resemble anything in those magazines she was always reading. Do you know you’re the first person who’s had the guts to talk to me about it? Everyone in town has been tiptoeing around my feelings ever since the wedding was called off. How did you know Janice and I were making a mistake?”
“There was nothing specific, and I’m not saying you didn’t try, but Dolly used to say if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, you’ve got a duck.”
“Was Roger a duck?”
“Yeah, okay, so I’m not all that smart either.”
“It’s your turn now. What happened between you two? You guys seemed pretty solid. Janice and I had bets on you and Roger being the next to follow us down the aisle.”
Shelby stared at the roofline of his house against the starry sky. “Yes. Well. Appearances can be deceiving. Roger already had a wife as it turned out. They were separated when he met me, and then he decided to reconcile with her. I was the last to know. Quite surprised to learn that he had a wife, actually. He never mentioned her. So it was a mutual parting of the ways.”
“Ah, that’s why Dolly couldn’t get comfortable with him.”
“She already thinks she’s psychic. Don’t encourage her.” Shelby tried to laugh. “Maybe that’s why I couldn’t be myself with him either. He wasn’t really my man—he was on loan. I was borrowing him the whole time we were going out. All those months, he didn’t belong to me, he belonged to his wife. Discovering that you never really belonged to a person when you thought you did is terrible. I honestly think it wasn’t the breakup that hurt so much in the end, but the months I’d spent with him believing.”
She stopped pumping her legs and let the swing slow down. Shelby clung to the gently swinging tire. Sawyer was standing so close to her, her back bumped lightly against his chest. She twisted her body in the cavity of the tire, trying to free a leg. “Help me get out of this thing. Tire swings are not designed for adults.”
He caught her around her waist and she gasped. “Whoa.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I just didn’t expect you to get so physical.”
“There’s no other way to help a person out of a tire swing but to pull them out.” His mouth was next to her ear. “I’ve got you, you can let go.”
“I’ll fall backward.”
“You won’t fall backward,” he grunted, tugging. “I said I’ve got you. I know how to do this better than you do. Just—let—go!”
Shelby released her grip just as Sawyer pulled and they tumbled back, landing painfully on the wet lawn. Sawyer was beneath her, breaking her fall, his arms still firmly around her middle.
“McIntyre,” she said, facing the starry night sky, “this is what’s known as falling.”
He groaned. “There are parts of my body that may never work right again.”
Shelby quickly rolled off him, half-crouching beside him as though her body couldn’t decide whether to stay or go. He met her eyes with an intensity that made her flush.
“Thank you for letting me use the swing.”
“You’re welcome. Any time.”
“Is it possible to experience sibling rivalry with someone who isn’t your sibling?” Shelby stretched out beside him. Lying beside Sawyer was comfortable, like she’d being doing it all her life. “We both needed Dolly. It’s almost like we were feuding over our mother’s undivided attention. You know, like a brother and sister.”
“Trust me, Porter; you are nothing like a sister to me.”
“What am I then?”
Sawyer looked away. “You’re a friend.”
“A friend. All right, I can live with that relationship status. I’m still going to report on what I find regarding your brother’s construction projects. And if I get any solid leads, I’m going to follow them.”
&nbs
p; “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
A change was happening between them, a shift in their relationship. The antagonists were becoming confederates. Shelby was suddenly shy with him. “My goodness. If we keep this up we won’t have anything left to fight about.”
“Fighting with you has always been the highlight of my day. What will I do now to work out my frustrations?” His voice was low and rumbled under his ribs.
Instantly, Shelby could think of something and from the heat that rose in Sawyer’s eyes, she suspected he was thinking it too.
“Are you cold? You’re shivering.” He rolled to his side and propped his head in his hand. He looked at her with a wide-open expression. Completely and totally himself.
She shook her head. Her mouth was too dry to speak.
He rubbed his free hand slowly down her arm. “Your shirt is wet. Every time I see you these days, you’re wet and cold.”
“Yes. I was in your bedroom the last time.”
Sawyer cupped her chin and drew her mouth to his. He kissed her gently. Shelby responded. Sawyer pulled back and gazed at her thoughtfully. She knew he was wondering the same thing she was—was this real? They were both heart-sore from recent painful breakups. Was what they were feeling right now, real? Or was it salve for their respective wounds?
Being wanted was what Shelby wanted and that craving had led to some bad decisions in her time. She knew being wanted by Sawyer wasn’t enough.
Chapter Ten: She Has a Shady Past
SAWYER KISSED her again. Their bodies did not touch. He removed his hand from her chin as though even that innocent contact could be dangerous. His kiss deepened. Everything he wanted from her, he poured into that kiss. Shelby wasn’t in doubt as to what that was.
But she wasn’t as impulsive as she used to be. Shelby was beginning to discover that sex had a price tag. No matter how hard she tried to be the girl who didn’t fall in love—she always fell in love and the older she got, the longer it took her to recover from the heartbreak. Because there was always heartbreak—hers. She wasn’t willing to go down that road again, not with Sawyer, not on a whim.
Shelby broke away from him, gasping, rolling back on the cold wet grass. Every nerve in her body rebelled against the words her good sense was making her say. “I should go home.”
He bent over her, bringing his face close, so close she could feel the stubble of his beard against her cheek. Sawyer covered her with his body, part shield, part master; she couldn’t move and didn’t want to.”Stay with me. Nothing will happen to you. Just stay.”
He kissed her deeply. Her breath left her body and her resistance fled with it. She wasn’t strong enough to do the right thing for herself even after all these years. She was, as the cliché accurately described it, putty in his hands.
“Everything will happen to me,” she groaned under the assault. “It always does. When this ends you’ll be fine, but I’ll have to leave town.”
That got him. Sawyer stopped groping her. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the calls that won’t get returned. The cold shoulder. The ‘we-need-to-talk’ talk—you know—the inevitable heartbreak. You’ll be fine but I’ll have to see you every day with whoever you wind up with. I’ll fall in love with you because that’s what I do after I sleep with a man—I fall in love with him. Don’t ask me why. It must be hormones. But you won’t and the only way to save myself will be to move away from Mandrake Falls.”
“Did you fall in love with Roger?”
“Of course I did! And look where it got me. I wish I’d known this about myself then; I would have waited until we were sure about each other. I’m twenty-nine and I’ve been in love three times. Each time it gets harder to bounce back.” Shelby pushed herself up to her elbows.”Thank you for kissing me and pretending to be my boyfriend but I cannot see you naked. If you really are my friend, you will not let me see you naked.”
“Okay, I won’t let you see me naked.”
How did he do that? How did he make her feel like he was on her side? Like she was important to him. His breath was a hot wind on her skin, in her ear—and then his mouth was on hers again and Shelby didn’t stop him this time. They rolled over the grass, lips locked and bodies tangled, giving into a passion that caught them both by surprise. Shelby’s glasses slipped from her face and were lost in the dark. Her shirt gapped open where Sawyer had freed two buttons. His lips had left her mouth and were trailing to her neck and then to her collarbone. She tried to remember if she was wearing a bra.
“Let’s go inside,” Sawyer muttered. “My bed is more comfortable than this wet grass.”
She allowed herself to be pulled to her feet and Sawyer, still holding her hand, led the way to the back door.
“My glasses. Wait. I need my glasses.” Shelby turned back to look for them.
“I’ll get a flashlight. Wait here. Don’t try to look for them in the dark, you’ll step on them. I’ll only be a minute.”
Shelby shivered, peering into the dark, grateful for the distraction that gave her time to think. Her body was catching up with her brain and as her blood cooled, she understood she couldn’t be intimate with Sawyer. Making love to him would tip the balance she was trying to maintain between their real relationship and the fictitious one. Sawyer was here because of Dolly and when Dolly was strong again, he’d be gone. All the lovemaking in the world wasn’t going to change that. As much as Shelby craved being with him, watching him go after they made love would be unbearable. The thought of it was hardly bearable now.
“Shelby—”
“Sawyer, I can’t. This is a mistake or maybe it’s just bad timing. If we didn’t have this thing with Dolly—”
“Shelby, someone is here. I don’t know if you two have ever met.”
She could see her now. A woman’s silhouette was visible behind the screen door on the back porch. How long had she been standing there?
“I should have called first,” the woman said. “I apologize. It looks like I’ve interrupted something.”
“No, we were just talking.” Sawyer met Shelby’s eyes. “Janice, this is Shelby Porter. My godmother’s niece. Shelby and I were talking over Dolly’s care. Dolly had a heart attack this past summer. Her recovery has been slow. Shelby wanted to go over some issues with me.”
Shelby felt her face go hot and her limbs go cold. Her heart pounded. “Hi Janice.”
“Hello, Shelby. Good to see you again. Why don’t you come inside? You look chilly.” Janice’s voice was hard.
Shelby glanced down and saw the reason why—her shirt was still half-open. Fortunately she was wearing a bra. As casually as she could, Shelby turned away from the house, refastened the buttons and smoothed her hair of grass clippings. “Thank you, but I have to get back to Dolly. I was just looking for my glasses. They came off when I was on the tire swing and I’ve got to find them or I can’t see a thing.” She laughed, false-sounding even to her own ears, and darted to the cool salvation of the dark lawn. Shelby dropped to her hands and knees, sweeping her hands over the spiky grass.
“I was just bringing her a flashlight,” Sawyer said, coming to Shelby’s side.
“What were you doing on the tire swing?”
“Research. I’ve never been on one. I wanted to see how they stacked up against a regular swing.” Stupid, stupid, oh hell, where are my goddamn glasses?
Sawyer swung the beam of light over the lawn. The glass glinted and refracted marking the spot they had clung to each other only seconds before.
“Here they are,” he said. Sawyer picked them up and slipped them on her nose, whispering, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I better go.”
“I’ll drive you home.”
“No,” she whispered back. “I’ll take your truck. Janice can give you a lift to Dolly’s house in the morning. You can pick it up there. I’ll leave the keys in it.”
“Shelby....”
“It’s okay. It is really okay,
Sawyer. I understand.” Shelby tried to find the words to explain what she was feeling. Looking at his troubled face, she knew he needed reassurance. “I’m glad she’s here. This is better for both of us. It wasn’t meant to be.”
“Shelby, listen, this isn’t over. We’re in too deep.”
Janice was watching them from the porch, her head tilted to one side and her arms were crossed. “Sawyer, is everything all right?”
“Yes. Just let me finish up here, will you? I’ll be in soon, Janice, go inside. I’ll only be a minute.” To Shelby’s surprise, Janice did as Sawyer asked. He turned back to Shelby. “I don’t know why she’s here. It could be anything. I’m not going back on our deal. Nothing’s changed at my end. Dolly thinks I’m proposing to you tonight. It’ll kill her if she doesn’t see the ring.”
“Holy messed up solution, Sawyer! Dolly is just going to have to deal with the truth! Janice is back, okay? You have a real relationship waiting for you inside. I’ll take care of Dolly.”
“No, you won’t say a word to her about this. Listen to me! This isn’t a game anymore or even a little white lie. That woman—our aunt—I’ve seen that look on the faces of too many people in my line of work. She’s frightened, Shelby. She thinks she’s dying and she’s scared. Whether she is or not isn’t important. I don’t know why it means so much to her that we’re together, but it’s the one thing we can do to ease her mind. You and me—we’re all she’s got. Janice will have to go along with this engagement for as long as it’s necessary.”
“What engagement?” Shelby whispered fiercely. “Have you taken a blow to the head? We are not engaged, McIntyre!”
Sawyer dug into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the blue velvet box. He snapped open the lid. White moonlight caught the blue of the ring’s sapphire setting and dazzled her eyes. Shelby moaned. Gems were her secret passion.
“I can’t take your mother’s ring. Not for something like this.”
“You heard Dolly. She knows this ring. She and Mom were like sisters. Best friends. They talked every single day. She knew how important it was to Mom that I pass this ring down to my future wife.”
Lie For Me: Autumn (Mandrake Falls Series Romance Book 2) Page 11
