Declan heard his mother’s small gasp and knew that arrow had hit its mark. On one level, he knew what he said had never been true. He knew they loved him. But there had always been that little voice in the back of his head that didn’t understand how time after time, they could choose their jobs over their only child. A part of him also knew that he had been much better off with his grandparents. Grams and Gramps loved him with every fiber of their being. They spoiled Declan and treated him as if the world revolved around him. He was bathed in their love, as if he had brought sunshine into their otherwise humdrum waning years. As an adult, he wondered if they were trying to compensate, so he didn’t feel the loss of not having his parents around, or if raising him truly fill their world with joy. He was always the center of attention wherever they went. Their retiree friends fussed over him as if he were their surrogate grandchild. He felt grateful for the time he spent with them.
“That’s what you think?”
“Yes, Major.” He could see the hurt in his mother’s eyes and hated that he had put it there. “No. I don’t fucking know. I think most of the time, you do what you do, because you think it’s expected of you, not because you genuinely want to.”
“Declan,” Roy interrupted. “You’re being too hard on your mother. We did what we thought was best. Do you even listen to yourself? You rant and rave over being left with your grandparents and then you get mad over us taking you away from them. Make up your mind.”
Declan shrugged. “You’re right. I guess I should just feel as indifferent about it as you do.”
“We are not indifferent,” she said. “We have tried and tried, but you just push us away. After a while, we just got tired of the rejection.”
“I was making an effort today,” he pointed out. “We invited you over here to tell you our news; we had hoped we could make plans to have a nice ceremony that you could attend, but all you did was lash out and hurt Nyxie. I’m sorry she’s not the person you think I should have married. What was it you always said to the team, Coach? ‘Get on board the bus or get the fuck out-of-the-way.’”
“You are being unreasonable, Declan, honey,” Dorothea said. “You expect me to open my arms to someone with whom I have only spent a few minutes. You’ve only been dating her a couple of weeks. How do you expect us to react? You don’t even know her. How can we help but be alarmed?”
“I know her,” Roy said shaking his head. “I remember her very well. She always had a smart-ass comment.”
Declan leaned back in his chair. “She still does. It’s a defense mechanism. What did you expect her to do when you were tearing her a new one over not having sneakers?”
“You weren’t there….”
“No, but I saw the way you went after her on the practice field. This isn’t the army, Coach. You are twice her size. Do you get off on bullying kids, or just her?”
“Don’t exaggerate, Declan,” Dorothea said. “Your dad is tough, not mean.”
Declan made a scoffing sound. She hadn’t seen the way Coach bowed up on Nyxie the day they went to Chimera Flats, or how she kept retreating as he continued stepping up to her. He knew his father persisted in intimidating the kids under his tutelage, if Jonah Travis’s concerns about being late the day he hit Cody with his pickup, were any indication. Had the kid not been so worried about being late to football camp, he might not have been speeding through the neighborhood.
“Whatever. Look, I’m already married to Nyxie. No amount of arguing is going to change that. It would be nice if you would be happy for us.”
“It’s not too late. Remember that actress that married the country singer? She got an annulment after a couple of months,” his mother said.
Declan sighed. “I haven’t made a mistake that needs rectifying.”
“Even she knows it’s not going to last….”
“Nyxie has no self-esteem, Major. She doesn’t think she deserves happiness. Knowing her, she’s probably afraid to be happy.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. No one’s afraid to be happy—no one thinks they don’t deserve happiness,” Coach said. “Son, I know with how hard you’ve worked in school, you haven’t really had time for a real girlfriend before. I’m sure she’s brought a lot of, uh, experience to the table, but don’t confuse lust and sex, for love.”
Declan laughed long enough to make Roy chuckle tentatively, as if he thought he had made an unintentional joke. “I am not some innocent schoolboy seduced by her wicked ways. It’s quite the opposite if you really must know.”
Dorothea pushed away from the table and picked up her plate and Roy’s, and took them into the kitchen, as if it would somehow end the conversation. Declan followed with the plates from his side of the table, frowning at how little Nyxie had eaten. Roy grabbed the pan of enchiladas and the salad, and they cleaned up with the familiarity of a family who had done it together a thousand times before.
“So, I guess there’s no reason to have a second ceremony,” Declan said as he walked them to the door.
“We’ll come, but I’m not going to pretend to be happy.”
Declan kissed her cheek, a gesture he rarely displayed. “Any chance you would organize it for us? I don’t have time and Nyxie is already overwhelmed with Cody. It doesn’t need to be fancy and I’ll pay for everything.”
Dorothea reluctantly nodded, earning a second kiss on the cheek and a firm hug.
“Nyxie gets her kids back in the next ten days. Do you want to babysit the girls while she sits in the hospital with Cody?” He laughed at the exasperation in her expression. “I’m just kidding, Mom. We’ll hire someone, unless you actually want to.”
“I really don’t have the time. I have a wedding to plan.”
Declan walked his parents out and stood on the sidewalk until they pulled away. Now that he had a few minutes, he went to the back alley and turned on the water to his second unit, using the oversized wrench he had used to turn it off, lit the pilot light to her water heater, and turned down the thermostat on his. He chuckled that he didn’t even get a chance to ask his dad for assistance. Roy loved to show Declan how to do things like that. Sometimes he actually learned little tricks from him.
Chapter 6
Declan sat on the sofa and reached for the remote in his pre-Nyxie routine of watching a game until he fell asleep and taking a well-needed nap. He had dropped Nyxie off to take her GED tests a couple of hours earlier and now had three more hours to himself before he needed to pick her up.
He knew after her tests, she wanted to go visit Cody because she had promised to bring him pizza tonight to celebrate how well he was doing off the feeding tube. Thumbing through the channels, looking for a game that interested him, he heard a faint knock, and realized someone was knocking on the door to the B-side. He assumed it was either solicitors or missionaries, but thought he would just prolong the inevitable knock on his door if he didn’t get rid of whoever was there now.
Stepping out on his porch, he found Lotus and Reina standing on the steps to B, while a caseworker knocked on the door.
CPS had conducted the follow-up inspection two days earlier and they passed easily, but they hadn’t been given an exact time or date that custody of the girls would be returned. They had assumed CPS wouldn’t give them back until the full ten days the judge had allotted them had passed.
The girls looked a bit frightened, as if they didn’t know where they were. It was perfectly understandable considering they had never been there before. Had the caseworker even told them that they were being returned to Nyxie?
“Hi,” Declan said, crossing to the trio. “Onyx isn’t home at the moment, but I’ll take them,” he said, and turned his attention to the girls. “Oh, she’s going to be so excited to see you two.”
“Are you Mr. Stryker?” the woman asked.
“Yes,” he said, having a desire to tell her he preferred being called Dr. Stryker.
CPS needed a few signatures and promised—or perhaps threatened, wo
uld have been more accurate—to make random home checks over the next few months; but soon, Declan found himself alone with the two girls.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, feeling suddenly awkward and wondering how to entertain two young girls for three hours.
Nyxie had talked about them enough that he did not have to ask their names or which was which. Lotus was almost eleven years old and had passed fourth grade with less than stellar marks. Reina had repeated first grade last year and would be going into second. She had wanted to hold Lotus back and repeat third grade, in hopes of getting her caught up, but Lotus had been so upset that the other kids would think she was stupid, that she had cried for two hours straight until Nyxie relented. It was difficult for the girl to stay for tutoring because no bus ran for the kids who stayed after school. Cody would have to go to the elementary school and wait with Reina until tutoring let out. Then they all had to walk the mile and a half to the truck stop.
“No, sir,” Lotus said. “We just ate lunch.”
“Is Aunt Nyxie at work?” Reina asked, her eyes darting around her unfamiliar surroundings.
“No, she doesn’t have to work anymore. She’s at the university taking a test. We’ll go get her in a couple of hours. What would you like to do until then?” The girls stared up at him and he stared back. “Would you like to see your bedroom?”
The girls whispered to each other. “Okay,” Lotus said.
Declan grabbed his keys off the bar and led the girls into the other side. He tried to explain the living arrangements they had come up with, and how they planned to put doors in to make it one big house when they took their vacation in a few weeks.
Lotus and Reina looked lost. They stood inside the door of their new room, studying the space.
“Do you like it?” he asked, expecting them to gush with excitement over the frilly canopy bed and lavender floral comforter. It was his first time to see it also, and he thought it looked like any little girl’s dream.
More whispers before Lotus said, “Yes, sir.”
Declan sighed at the underwhelming response. “Do you want to put your clothes away? Nyxie has already put your old clothes in the closet and dressers. You’ll have to figure out whose dresser is whose.
The girls didn’t move further into the room or make any moves to remove their backpacks, much less to unpack them.
“Well, I suppose you can do it later. Let me show you around a bit.”
He gave them the nickel tour of Nyxie’s side, then took them back to his place. “I don’t suppose you want to watch a baseball game on TV?”
The girls looked at each other and shook their heads.
“Cartoons?”
Again they shook their heads. The awkwardness seemed to stretch on forever. “Is there something you’d like to do until Nyxie finishes her tests?”
The girls cupped their hands over their mouths and started whispering furiously to each other again. “Can we go see Cody?” Lotus asked, after a brief huddle.
Declan frowned. He knew kids younger than twelve weren’t supposed to go into the patient rooms. There was too high of a risk that they could infect the patients with the nasty viruses kids always seemed to catch. He hated the idea of breaking a rule at the hospital where he worked, but knew it would do all three kids good to see each other.
“Nyxie and I were planning to go there after I pick her up. But if we are going to break the rules to sneak you in, I want to make sure you’re not sick or coming down with anything.” Declan retrieved his doctor bag, a gift from his parents when he graduated medical school. He proceeded to perform a basic exam on each girl, making sure neither girl was running a fever or had any signs of infection in their throat or ears. As he did Lotus’s exam, he let Reina help him and vice versa when he examined Reina. He let them look in each other’s ears and mouth and use his stethoscope to listen to each other’s heart and lungs. By the time they were finished, the girls were beginning to relax around him a little.
“Why don’t we go to the store and buy Cody a little get well gift to cheer him up.”
“I don’t got any money,” Reina said.
“I do,” Declan said, wondering if he should correct the girl’s grammar. He squatted down in front of the little girl. “I’m Nyxie’s husband. So I guess when the adoption goes through, that’ll make me your stepdad. You will always have everything you need. And if someone is mean to you at school, you tell me, and I’ll take care of it. Just like the phones; I knew you needed to keep in touch with Nyxie, so I bought you the phones.” His eyebrows lowered when he realized he hadn’t seen either girl’s phone. “You did remember to get the phones?”
“They’re in our backpacks.”
“Good. So what do you think Cody would like?”
“We could draw him pictures if we had paper and a pencil.”
“What a terrific idea,” he said to Lotus. “But they’d be even more special if you had crayons.”
Lotus looked stricken. “I lost my crayons. I had a hole in my backpack and they all fell out. Aunt Nyxie said I’d probably get some new ones from the people who do the school supply drive, and if I didn’t, she’d buy me some when school started.”
“I think under the circumstances, I can buy new crayons for you and paper, and maybe even a couple of coloring books. Would you like that?”
“Yes, sir.”
“That’s not fair,” Reina said, crossing her arms over her chest in a way that reminded him of Nyxie. “Why does Lotus get new crayons? She was the one who didn’t take care of her backpack or her crayons.”
There was that Dom side of him that reacted to the tone in her voice. He wanted to say, “Lose the fucking attitude, Nyxie Jr.” But he knew she was just a little kid whose feelings were hurt by the perceived snub.
“I’m going to buy you your own box, Reina. If you think Cody’s not too big, maybe I’ll buy him some also.”
“Sir, you don’t need to buy us our own. We know how to share.”
Instinctively, he knew they were accustomed to sharing because of Nyxie’s tight budget. But he let it slide because he was completely distracted by the way, Lotus kept calling him sir.
“I prefer that you not call me, sir.”
“I’m sorry, Dr. Stryker.”
“Not Dr. Stryker either. My first name is Declan.”
Reina suddenly began whispering furiously in Lotus’s ear. Then the older girl was whispering back.
“Reina wants to know if we can call you Papa?”
“Papa?” The surprise was evident in his tone. It struck him as odd that they would ask it of him when he was a stranger to them. “Why Papa?”
“In all the cartoons, the princesses called their fathers Papa.”
He couldn’t help but grin at the small girl as his heart tugged a bit. This little girl, abandoned by her drug-addicted mother, wanted to be a princess with a loving father.
For some reason, he had imagined Nyxie would always have the responsibility of the kids, and when he was off work, it would be the nanny’s responsibility. It never occurred to him that he would be placed in the role of parent. He laughed inwardly at his shortsightedness.
As he looked at the two little girls, he realized he could do for them all the things he wished he could have done for Nyxie and Cody.
“If Nyxie has no objections, I think it would be fine for you to call me Papa.”
~*~
There was no surprise when they stood in front of the crayons at the store, that the girls carefully eyed their options and picked the cheapest colors there. Declan took them from Lotus’s hand and put them back on the peg and handed each of the girls their own box of 96 crayons. He grabbed each girl a box of glitter crayons and washable markers, three drawing tablets, construction paper, scissors, glitter-filled glue, colored pencils for Cody, and a variety of coloring books and elementary workbooks so he could gauge all three kids’ deficits.
~*~
It never occurred to Nyxie to wonder why the doubl
e doors to the air-conditioned building were wide open in the middle of the West Texas summer. Her mind was on two things: the tests she had just completed, and Declan, who stood directly in her line of sight, leaning against the Lexus with his arms folded.
“How’d you do?” he asked as she stepped through the doors.
“Surprise!” yelled the two little door-holders.
In an instant, Nyxie was on her knees laughing and holding the girls in her embrace. Declan produced his phone and snapped a few pictures.
“Did you know they were coming today?” she asked Declan.
“Not a clue. A CPS worker showed up at the house with them about three hours ago.”
Nyxie covered her mouth with her hand to hide a slight giggle as she imagined Declan caring for the girls.
Declan opened both doors on the right side of her Lexus. “Ladies,” he said. “Shall we go to the hospital so our little family will be complete?” As the girls climbed in, he reminded them to put on their seatbelts, giving the door a good hard push to make sure it was fully closed. Before shutting Nyxie’s door, he gave her a quick kiss and fastened her belt, tugging to make sure it was secure.
Nyxie was glad he didn’t ask her to drive. She was so excited to have custody back, her mind probably wouldn’t have been on the road.
“So what have you three been doing to keep busy?”
“Papa thought we should draw pictures for Cody,”
“Papa? Who’s Papa?”
Declan lifted one hand off the steering wheel. “That would be me. I couldn’t let Lotus continue to call me, sir. I thought they would just want to call me Declan but Reina had other ideas.”
She shared a knowing yet uncomfortable look with him. “Papa, huh? That is definitely better than sir.”
“Definitely. I figured I’d technically be their stepdad when you’ve adopted them.”
“I hadn’t really thought about it, but I guess you will be.”
Lotus thrust a handful of homemade cards drawn on colorful construction paper at Nyxie. She took them and began examining them. “These are really good. Cody will love them. Where did you get the paper and markers?”
The Love He Craves (The Love She Craves: Selling Her Soul to Declan Book 2) Page 5
