by M. E. Tudor
Ashley sat down and took her ball cap off. Jean sat down next to her and poured them both a glass of red wine. “I was afraid the police would have your entire house surrounded to keep away the reporters.”
“They did that for a few days, but it is costing them too much overtime and the reporters seem to have mostly backed off the house. They just wait for me outside the court house now.”
Ashley squeezed Jean’s hand, “I’m so sorry.” She chewed her lip, and then said what was really on her mind, “I feel like this is my fault.”
“Why?” Jean asked, sitting her glass down and taking Ashley’s hand in both of hers, “I’m the one who made the stupid choice to pick up a woman I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, but if I hadn’t ended things, you wouldn’t have been picking up someone.”
Jean touched Ashley’s face gently, “You had to do what you had to do to be happy. I understand that.”
Ashley put her hand over Jean’s on her cheek. She felt the heat and surge of energy that she always got when Jean touched her. She turned into Jean’s palm and kissed it.
Jean sucked in her breath. She closed her eyes and slowly pulled her hand away, “I didn’t invite you over here to have sex,” she spoke in a whisper.
“I know,” Ashley said, “Your touch has just always had that affect on me.”
Jean looked into Ashley’s eyes, their blue depths shimmering in the firelight. She should have realized that she couldn’t be in the same room with Ashley and not want her. The fire and the wine were too romantic by far. She touched Ashley’s cheek again, and this time she leaned forward and kissed Ashley lightly on the lips.
Ashley’s breath caught in her throat. She brought her hands up to Jean’s face and pulled it back to hers, planting an equally gentle kiss on Jean’s lips.
Licking her lips, Jean remarked, “We should probably drink this wine and talk before we go any further.”
“Okay,” Ashley agreed. She chugged her wine and sat the glass on the brick hearth.
Jean drained her glass of wine and placed her glass and the rest of the bottle on the hearth.
“What did you want to talk about?”
Ashley’s eyes seemed to glow in the dark.
“I don’t remember,” Jean answered breathlessly.
“Good,” Ashley whispered. She moved closer to Jean so that the side of their body’s and legs were touching. She titled Jean’s head toward her and kissed her, lightly at first, but then with more intensity.
Jean moaned and cupped Ashley’s face as she deepened the kiss. For over a year she had refused to let Ashley kiss her because she knew that once they kissed, she would be completely lost.
Putting her arms on either side of Jean, Ashley bent her backwards toward the floor. Their lips never stopped touching as they thoroughly explored each others’ mouths. Ashley slid her hands down Jean’s arms to her waist. She needed to feel Jean’s skin.
Everywhere Ashley touched Jean felt like it was on fire. It amazed her that for as many times as they had had sex, Ashley’s touch had never felt this intense.
Ashley slid her hands inside Jean’s blouse, moaning as she felt the swell of Jean’s breasts. She pulled her hands back out and started unbuttoning Jean’s blouse, placing kisses every time she exposed another little bit of skin.
“Jesus,” Jean sighed.
Ashley kissed her way back up Jean’s body and slid her tongue into Jean’s mouth. Jean’s legs opened to Ashley’s jean clad leg that was pressing firmly into her. Ashley pushed herself up and pulled off her shirt without bothering with the buttons. She needed to feel her skin against Jean's.
Jean reached behind Ashley and unfastened her bra. Ashley sat up and pulled off her bra. She pulled Jean into a sitting position and took her bra off as well. Ashley gently ran her hands from Jean’s neck, across her breasts to her flat stomach. “You have such a beautiful body.”
“Thank you,” Jean whispered, “So do you.” She leaned down and took one of Ashley’s full breasts into her mouth and suckled on it gently. The sensation was so powerful. Jean was feeling overwhelmed. She pushed Ashley onto her back and kissed her deeply as she unfastened Ashley’s jeans.
Ashley quickly helped Jean shed her jeans and panties as well. Soon they were both naked, but they continued just to stroke each others’ bodies and kiss. Finally, Jean couldn’t take it anymore. “I have to taste you again,” she whispered huskily.
“Oh God, please, Jean,” Ashley cried, laying back and spreading her legs.
Jean could smell Ashley’s arousal, but she was unprepared for how wet Ashley was. Jean moaned deeply as she slid her tongue into Ashley’s folds. Even though the taste and feel of Ashley was familiar, it was different this time. She stroked Ashley with her tongue and fingers, bringing Ashley to a mind boggling orgasm.
As Ashley’s muffled screams hit Jean’s ears, it occurred to her why this time was very different. They were making love, not just having sex. Jean kissed her way back up Ashley's body and looked down at the pleasure on Ashley’s face.
Ashley opened her eyes, her pupils completely dilated from the high of the orgasm, “Wow.”
Jean laughed, “Yeah, wow.”
Ashley flipped Jean onto her back, “My turn,” she said, kissing Jean. Tasting herself on Jean’s lips sent her straight over the edge. She slid her fingers into Jean as she kissed her way down Jean’s body. The second her tongue touched Jean’s clit, Jean’s body arched off the floor, and Ashley stroked the swollen bud with her tongue. She sucked her into her mouth and Jean covered her mouth as she screamed. Wave after wave of the orgasm shook Jean’s body until Ashley finally released her.
When Ashley moved up to Jean’s face, Jean cupped her face and kissed her deeply. They kissed for a long time until Jean finally let Ashley go, “I was such an idiot to deny myself the pleasure of your kiss.”
“Well, we’ll just have to make up for lost time,” Ashley kissed her again.
* * *
They spent almost two hours making love; neither could seem to get enough. Finally, Jean collapsed on top of Ashley, "I am exhausted."
"Me, too," Ashley stroked Jean's hair, "But, it's a good exhausted."
"Yes," Jean agreed. Her head was on Ashley's chest and she listened to her heart beat. It raced like hers, but was slowly calming.
They laid like that for awhile, just holding each other. Ashley could feel herself starting to fall asleep. She shifted, starting to sit up, but Jean held her down. She raised her head and looked in Ashley's eyes, "I missed you."
Ashley smiled and pushed Jean's hair away from her dark eyes, "I missed you, too."
Jean stared into her eyes for a few more minutes and then laid her head back on Ashley's chest. "Can you stay for a little longer?"
"For a little while, I'm getting sleepy and I don't think you want any reporters watching your house to see me slip out in the morning."
Sighing, Jean gave Ashley a tight squeeze, "You're right." She pushed herself up into a sitting position and looked at the dark windows, "Those vultures are waiting for me to do something for them to report."
Ashley pulled her shirt on and nodded, "That would be ugly for both of us."
Jean pulled her shirt on too, "True. I'm supposed to meet with the Judicial Conduct Committee and the governor next week. I don't need to add anything else to charges they are going to be looking at." She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, "There's a good possibility that I will be asked to step down."
"Can they do that?" Ashley exclaimed in horror.
"Yes, I'm afraid so," Jean said, "Even though John Garrett set a trap for me, the fact that I was meeting women in a sex bar is not proper conduct for an elected family court judge."
Ashley kneeled in from of Jean and covered her hands with hers, "Jean, I'm so sorry."
"Don't say this is your fault," Jean insisted, pressing her fingers to Ashley's lips, "I've always know I was taking this risk and I chose to take that woman to a hot
el. I'd already had sex with her at the bar. I could have left it at that, but I chose to take that risk. I knew better. It's no one's fault but my own."
"Yeah, but…"
Jean stopped her again, cupping her face, "No, ‘yeah but’. I made a bad choice and I have to pay for that decision." She kissed Ashley lightly and then more intently. She pulled back and licked her lips, "You have the most delicious kiss."
Ashley put her forehead against Jean's, "Call me if you need me." She kissed Jean's forehead and then stood. She gathered the rest of her clothes and put them on.
Jean stood too and watched her dress. She walked Ashley too the back door, "Be very careful," she told Ashley as she opened the door.
Ashley kissed her lightly again, "I'll text you when I get home."
Nodding, Jean stepped back and watched Ashley slip across the back side of the yard. She let out a heavy sigh. Things were definitely going to get very ugly, and she had no idea what she was going to do if the committee requested her to step down. She turned and picked up her clothes. A light flashed outside. She rushed to the front window to see what it was, but she couldn't see anyone. Maybe, it was just someone driving by. Shaking her head, she headed to her bedroom. Tomorrow would be another day and all she could do was keep wading through the shit getting thrown at her.
Chapter Ten
Governor Michaels sat in the middle of the seven person panel, three women and four men, including the governor. Michaels was known for his conservative views, so Jean knew that if the vote on her resignation were left to him, she would be without a job.
"Judge Carlisle, I'm troubled by the charges that have been presented," Governor Michaels inquired, "Did you actually pick up this woman, Cynthia Donaldson at a lesbian bar?"
"Yes," Jean responded, raising her chin a little.
The Governor's eyes pierced her, "Do you think this is appropriate behavior for a family judge?" the governor demanded.
"There would not have been a problem with my meeting the woman at the bar if John Garrett had not been setting me up," Jean asserted.
"Have you met with women there before?" the governor probed.
"That is irrelevant to this case," Jean insisted.
"The fact that you have been meeting women at this bar is relevant to this hearing," the governor snapped.
"So, are you going to fire me because I'm a lesbian?" Jean asked.
Governor Michaels took a deep breath, "Judge Carlisle, whether you are a lesbian or not is not the problem. Our concern is with your behavior. As a family judge, you know that you have a certain identity that must be kept above reprove. Your behavior leads us to believe that you may not be capable of being discrete."
"I have been discrete for almost thirty years," Jean replied, "Had John Garrett not been determined to expose me; we would not be having this conversation."
The governor's glare got stronger, "So you have been running the risk of being exposed as a lesbian the entire time you have been a judge?"
"I have been a lesbian all my life," Jean continued, "But very few people have known that. And it has nothing to do with my ability to be a good judge."
"Your being a lesbian is not what is going to present a problem," Karen Williams, one of the more conservative committee members interjected, "It's the fact that you picked up a stranger at a sex bar and was photographed having sex with her that is going to be the problem."
Jean frowned, "I was set up for that."
"Yes, but anyone who has seen those pictures or heard about this case may try to use that information to affect your decisions when a case is not going their way," Karen said.
"I will not allow someone to bribe or coerce me into making a decision that is wrong," Jean assured her, “And they can’t blackmail me, it’s not a secret anymore.”
Karen sighed. “I vote that we put Judge Carlisle on probation for six months. That will give us enough to time to see if she will be able to deal with the problems in court that her careless behavior will cause."
The committee members leaned toward each other and whispered amongst themselves. The governor was clearly not happy with the idea. Karen watched as the members finally stopped talking, "Are we ready to put this to a vote?" The committee members nodded. "All in favor of putting Judge Carlisle on a six month probation period raise your hand." Five members raised their hands.
The Governor, who had not voted for the probation period, frowned but nodded, "It has been decided then. But I am warning you, one slip in behavior and we will be back in here."
"Yes, sir," Jean agreed, her heart still racing from the anticipation of the vote, "There will be no more indiscreet behavior on my part."
Governor Michaels glared at her, but didn't comment on her promise. Jean had a bad feeling that he was going to set out to make an example of her. "If there is nothing else to discuss with Judge Carlisle, this meeting is adjourned," he slammed his gavel on the table.
Everyone jumped, but only Karen gave the governor a disapproving look. Brave woman, Jean thought. She picked up her purse and stood. She should be relieved that they didn't fire her, but she wasn't. The way the governor was looking at her gave her a weird feeling inside.
After leaving the meeting room, Jean headed straight to her office.
"Well?" Sara begged as soon as she walked in the door.
"They gave me six months probation," she reported and picked up her messages from the box Sara kept on her desk.
"Ashley called six times," Sara said with a small grin.
Jean sighed. Ashley. What was she going to do about Ashley? She looked at Sara, who had been the most amazing secretary. She didn't know all of Jean's secrets, but she had apparently picked up on the fact that Ashley was special to her. "Call her back and tell her I will call her from home this evening."
Sara nodded. She handed Jean a thick stack of files, "This is this afternoon's cases."
Letting out a heavy sigh, Jean took the files, "Thanks."
Jean was just about to go into her private office when Karen Williams came into the room, "Good morning, Sara," she nodded in Sara's direction.
"Good morning, Commissioner Williams," Sara answered and then busied herself with the other files on her desk.
"Can I speak to you privately?" Karen asked Jean.
"Sure," Jean replied and motioned to her office, "Come on back."
When Jean closed the door, Karen touched her arm, "You got off lucky today."
"I know," Jean agreed. She looked into Karen's warm, knowing brown eyes, "How long have you known?"
Karen smiled, "Ever since you started practicing law in town."
Jean was stunned, "Why haven't I ever seen you at any of the parties or bars?"
"Because I've been with my high school sweetheart for thirty years and we are both very much in the closet," Karen explained, "She's an elementary school teacher. You think the judicial system is prejudiced toward homosexuals in their ranks, you should see how they are in the educational system."
Shaking her head, Jean agreed, "I can only imagine."
"Times have changed, and being gay has become more acceptable in this country, but not in certain professions, and definitely not in small cities in Kentucky," Karen said.
