by Soraya Naomi
I scratch my beard that I really need to trim again, but before I can answer, Luca interrupts when he steps inside the room.
“Think about what I said,” Marc comments before he continues his shift.
Luca’s brows snap together. “What was that about?”
I turn my attention back to Cam and trace my knuckles down her cheek. “He says that I should continue on with my life.”
It takes a minute for Luca to reply, “He’s right. It’s been two weeks, and you live here with Cam in this room. She wouldn’t want you to slack off on your work – work she also helped build. Perhaps the distraction would do you good? We have a warehouse full of Ukrainians you wanted us to capture. We haven’t killed all of them because we have no lead on Medlov. And we also have an influx of influential politicians who were regulars at the Ukrainian sex club that now want a membership with us.”
“I’m just afraid that I’ll leave, and then she’ll wake up and she’ll be alone,” I confess honestly. “Or even worse, something will happen and I won’t be here.”
“She’s been stable for two weeks, and everyone knows they need to contact you the second there’s any change in her condition. I truly think getting out of this hospital will do you good. You’re still on edge, yet you’re suppressing it because you’re trying to hold it all together. Let it out. Let’s get you back to work.”
With much reluctance, I agree that Marc and Luca are correct.
“I’ll meet you downstairs in five,” I say to Luca, and he nods.
I take the chair and scoot close to Cam, caressing her hair. “I’m going to work now, but I’ll be back tonight.” I lick my lips, finding courage to keep my tone uplifted. “I’ll think of you and our little baby every second. Take care of her or him.” I press kisses to her forehead and her stomach and steal one final glance before I head out for the first time in two weeks.
In the hallway, I run into Marc. “Call me the second there’s any change with her.”
“I will, Adriano,” he sets me at ease, slightly.
***
The wind howls outside the Syndicate’s warehouse, which is located along the North Shore of Chicago, as I stand opposite a dozen of cuffed Ukrainians.
Luca and Wade are updating me on all business activity of the last two weeks, and I have to admit that they’ve done a great job, which pleases me because I crave vengeance. I’m out for blood. We’ve been dismantling the Ukrainian sex slave operation from the top, but we still haven’t captured Medlov. Although Chicago P.D. did open an investigation due to all the deaths and kidnapped foreign girls they discovered on Medlov’s estate. And in turn, Chicago P.D. has contacted the FBI, and the FBI has already claimed Santino’s body. Wade’s trying to uncover more information via the CIA regarding the FBI’s plans for Santino’s corpse.
“If one of you gives up Medlov’s hiding place, then we’ll spare all of you.” I’m walking down the line of men with my gun dangling from my hand as no one utters a word. My harsh sigh echoes through the warehouse. “If no one’s going to talk, then let’s commence with the eliminating because, gentlemen, patience is one thing I no longer have.”
I stop in front of the last man and tilt my head to the side. “Where’s Medlov?”
I get silence in return, accompanied by a glare, so I cock my weapon and pull the trigger. His body falls backward, and the others stare at him in shock.
“We work fast.” Wade strolls to the middle of the line and Luca to the front.
The three of us each aim our piece at one of the men and repeat, “Where’s Medlov?”
Luca’s guy snarls, “Why should we talk? We’re dead anyway.”
“You want to take that risk?” I click off the safety, and three shots ring out in the vast expanse of the brick warehouse.
“I-I know,” one of them stutters, so Wade turns to him as I level my gun at my next target: Maxim, Medlov’s underboss, who ordered his soldier to assault Cam when they held her captive in Santino’s cell on Halloween night.
“Hello, there.” I lean in close to Maxim. “You, I’m keeping alive for a long time. I’m going to keep you on the edge of death until you pray for its sweet release.”
Maxim’s pale face drains of blood even more, so I grin.
“Speak.” Wade pries his fingers into the Ukrainian’s cheeks while pushing the end of his weapon against his temple.
“H-he’s probably with the senator.” Sweat drips from the man’s filthy blond hair.
“Which senator? A Chicago senator?” Wade prompts.
“I...don’t know, but a senator. He has a connection high up who could hide him.”
Wade arches a brow at me. “Could be true.”
Stashing my gun as other members of the Syndicate guard our captives, I stride toward the front entrance of the warehouse with Luca and Wade on my trail.
“Find out who that politician is, Wade, after you kill all of them except Maxim and Serena. Bury the bodies in the woods. And if you capture any more of them, kill them as well. Luca comes with me to the club. We’ll plan to meet there later, but call me before you head over because I might be back at the hospital by then. I’m going to Cam at seven p.m. at the latest. I don’t want her to be alone at night.”
“Okay. I’ll keep in touch,” Wade comments as I get into my car, and Luca and I drive back to the Loop.
***
In my office at the club, I’m bombarding Luca and Tez with questions as I check a list full of names of senators and other politicians from in an around Chicago. “How did they contact you?”
“Via a judge that’s a regular. They used to be clients of the Ukrainian sex club and all want to become members here now,” Tez answers.
I address Luca, “These are powerful men, some of them even from outside of Illinois. It could be very lucrative to have them as clients since I have plans for Yakiv Medlov, and one of them might be able to help me. Screen each and every one of them – contact Henry to help. They can be clients of Club 7, but it’ll cost them. Now, are there enough escorts to meet this demand?”
“All of Serena’s girls signed with us since they believe she abandoned them. Where is she, by the way?” Tez asks.
“She’s being held at the warehouse until I figure out what to do. I’m pleased all our effort in securing those girls paid off.”
“About that, those girls also want to bring in their own regulars,” Tez announces.
“As a show of goodwill, oblige them. Then clients can bid against one another; it’ll make us a fortune.”
“I have a meeting with them tonight, so I’ll tell them then. Also, Jeffrey hired new staff this week for the dance club because, since Halloween, attendance has tripled on the weekends. A few movie stars are here every weekend now.”
“At the dance club or the sex club?” I throw the stack of papers onto the surface of my desk.
“Both, but the public is unaware of the sex club, of course,” Tez replies.
“Well, the actors are giving me free publicity, so ensure their privacy at all times.” I check my watch. “I’m going back to the hospital. Tez, I’m pleased with how business has been handled.”
“Luca and Wade helped me. But thank you. How’s Camilla, Adriano?”
“Her condition hasn’t changed, but her injuries are healing.”
“Let me know if you need anything else.”
“I will.” And he takes the new direct passageway to the underground floor, pressing the button on the right wall that opens into the elevator and descending toward the first floor and underground.
“Satisfied about business?” Luca asks.
“I am. I guess in all my fury I didn’t even realize how much we could benefit from Medlov’s crumbling empire. By the way, how’s Carmine been doing? Are you happy with him as Consigliere?”
“He’s good and discreet. It’s obvious he’s learned more from you than you realized.”
“Is it?” I always kept my siblings and parents out of any Syndicat
e business.
Luca nods and walks me out through the club where the DJ is sound checking right before we open.
Luca smiles widely as he sees Fallon at the bar. A twinge of sadness pierces my soul because Cam would usually accompany Fallon. Only, the reality is that my Cam is fighting for her life in a hospital bed.
Fallon hugs me and whispers, “You okay?”
Inconspicuously, I dip my chin. “Luca was right; the distraction of work did help kill the time.”
“Have one glass of wine with us,” Luca suggests but doesn’t wait for a reply and orders three glasses of red from the bartender, then faces me again. “One glass.”
“Fine.” I freeze when my gaze lands on a long-legged woman with short brown hair. “Who’s that?”
“That’s Lo, a new employee,” Luca answers and perks a brow. “Why?”
“She looks like Cam.”
Fallon’s head whips around. “No, she doesn’t. Every woman with a bob looks like Cam to you.”
The urge to be back with Cam abruptly explodes inside me when the woman smiles and moves toward us.
Without waiting for my drink, I tell Luca and Fallon, “I’m going to the hospital.”
***
Less than half an hour later, I’m back where I belong, sitting beside Cam’s bed, clutching her cold hand in mine as I study the rise and fall of her chest.
When the nurse shuffles into the room, I ask her, “Are you here to turn Cam?”
“Yes, Mr. Montesi,” she replies. “I’m just rolling her from side to side.”
“Can I do it?”
She stares at me blankly.
“I mean, can I move her without causing her pain?”
“Oh. Yes, sir—”
“It’s Adriano.”
“Um, yes, Adriano. Her wounds have healed, so I can show you how to roll her to the side. I have to repeat the action every three hours.” She stands opposite me and simply takes Cam’s shoulders and rolls her to her side, ensuring all the wires stay put. “That’s it.”
“Okay, thank you. I’ll take care of her for the night.”
“I’ll check in later.”
I wait for her to leave and remove my shoes. I crawl behind Cam, spooning her and nuzzling her hair. My eyes fall closed, and after two weeks of not being able to hold her in my arms, this feeling of contentment is invigorating, yet outrageously depressing too.
Out of the blue, I hear Cam’s voice in my mind.
You can’t be weak in front of others, but you can be in front of me.
Even when she’s far away mentally, she helps me; she grounds me.
“You said you’d always be waiting for me. Wake up, Cam.”
Silence can be more powerful than all the words in the world, and the silence I have to live in while she’s in a deep sleep is deafening. For such a long time, Cam’s centered me. When we first met almost three years ago and were only friends, I already relied on her. Then when we became lovers, I used to drive up to headquarters every night just to spend a few hours with Cam, inside her. Because being with her gave my sinner’s soul some rest. Cam simply made me feel and experience emotions in a new light. I believe that’s only achieved when you’ve found your counterpart. Yet this realization also worries me.
If she doesn’t wake up, what will I do?
But I disregard that last thought with all my power and hug her tightly while whispering into her ear, “Whatever happens, my love, I want you to remember what it feels like to be held by me, locked in my embrace. I’m holding on as tight as I can, Cam. In the middle of all the disorder, there was always you. But not now, and that weakens me.” I kiss her cheek, hoping she can hear me. “You are my strength. I need you. But right now, I’ll be your strength until you wake up.”
I clamp onto that shred of hope every day. Every week. Every month – for a long time. But as time passes, hope becomes a burden. Time makes hope dissolve into nothingness.
CHAPTER 37
Camilla
I’m stuck in limbo, floating around in the darkness with nothing tangible within reach, not even my own body. My thoughts seem to just fly around as I recognize voices from the outside world, but I’m trapped in my mind and can’t find the means of escape.
“Hurry! Fifty cc’s.”
Fragments of sentences and words ring through my ears.
“Wake the fuck up, Cam!” a woman yells.
All of a sudden, it’s quiet for ages.
Everything is either chaotic or silent. The last thing I remember is being held captive in Yakiv Medlov’s house. I was talking to Adriano, and then the house blew up. There was a pain in my head that I don’t feel now. Actually, I’m not feeling anything. I will my eyes to open, but all I see is blackness. I want to lift my arm, but I have no idea how to do that.
Am I in surgery? Under anesthesia maybe? I need to wake up and tell Adriano about the tape Santino recorded me on that is now in the hands of Medlov. I don’t know if we’ve caught him or if the Syndicate is even aware of that tape’s existence, but they need to know.
All I’m able to do is hear disjointed conversations and sense things. I sense that Adriano’s nearby, as if I’m not alone. There’s this comforting sentiment somehow surrounding me – as if I’m in our bed in our favorite position: with Adriano pressed against my back.
Then a train of words barrage my brain again. “Baby...wedding...baby.”
Baby? Wedding? Who’s getting married?
A voice says, “Logan...I like it.”
Who’s Logan?
I try to fight through the haze, but everything is incoherent. Solitude and blackness are disturbed by unconnected sentences.
“...I just miss her...baby...”
I hear the word baby often.
Who has a baby? And who the hell is Logan?
Grief strikes me when I start to realize that I might be in a deep sleep for a longer period. And the world around me keeps revolving while I’m stagnant.
I want to cry and scream for Adriano because I feel as if I’m wandering away from him. Sometimes I think I smell him, but when I concentrate, I can’t interpret anything and conclude that maybe it’s all a figment of my imagination.
How much time has gone by? Do they have the tape? Is Adriano continuing with his life?
On one occasion, Adriano’s voice breaks through my fog, and I unexpectedly understand a few sentences very clearly. “You need to give me a sign, sweetheart. I miss you so much. I’m trying so hard to hold on to you, but you need to give me something, anything. I’m losing hope, and I hate it.”
His voice sounds incredibly tormented, and I desperately want to give him a sign, but I don’t know how.
No! Don’t let me go. Don’t move on. Wait for me, Adriano. Please, wait for me.
His plea splinters my heart into a million pieces, and I feel like crying, but again, I don’t even know how to cry. However, hearing him gives me a newfound resolve.
Feel me, Adriano. Sense me. Hear me, like I hear and sense you.
I always knew he and I shared an exceptional bond and truly believe that when hearts are connected, no complication can destroy that tie.
CHAPTER 38
Adriano
In life, there’s a reason for encountering everyone you meet. With some people, you recognize the reason right away; some relationships grow, some are only temporary. Some people will fear you, some support you, some work against you, some love you. Yet there’s one person you’ll meet whom you’ll love with an intensity so profound that the reason why you met them can only be explained as destiny. And when you find that person, you cling to them. Every. Single. Day. Cam is my destiny.
I lost part of my world on the day she slipped into a coma. For almost two months, she’s been gone spiritually. The holiday season starts, and there’s no change in Cam’s condition, even when Thanksgiving turns into Christmas.
What if she doesn’t ever wake up?
I keep shoving back the rancid thought. Thankfully
, her condition hasn’t declined, but it hasn’t improved either. Her blood pressure fluctuates often, but Marc’s monitoring her closely like he promised, and our baby is slowly growing.
Every bone in my body abhors the fact that we’re not experiencing her pregnancy together. I never underestimated my obsession for Cam. I knew when she found her way back into my life that I’d never let her go again, that I’d never feel for another woman what I feel for Cam. But I did underestimate the strength of her love for me. I hear her words so often: her one-liners about love and life, and it’s the only thing that keeps me going.
I work and make exorbitant amounts of money after being Capo crimine for six months. Revenue for the dance club has tripled, and we’re importing twice as much drugs through customs to meet demand in the sex club. And enemies are laying low. It’s something I should take pride in, but nothing satisfies me anymore without Cam by my side.
I’ve slept in her room every night because I can’t bear to be away from her for too long. Every day, I have dinner with Cam in her room, since we’ve expanded the team with Wade and other new members, and they can take care of things when I’m not there. I’ve taken on my true role as Capo crimine and am managing everything from the top, from afar. And nowadays, I’m content with not doing street work anymore, because it would eat up my time with Cam. My morning routine is now waking up and showering, combing Cam’s hair, and talking to the baby before I head to work.
Still, I haven’t gotten any sign from her, which is causing my hope to dwindle. Trying to stay positive while getting no sign whatsoever for months can break a person emotionally. Physically, I’m fine, albeit a little leaner since I don’t work out as much as I did before. However, mentally, I’m exhausted. My life has never been emptier. Because at the end of the day, I worked so hard for months to achieve this newfound power and wealth for Cam – so that we could have our life together, but Cam’s still unresponsive, and these one-sided conversations are beginning to drain me. Every second of this prolonged silence chips away at my hope.
Time has new meaning. It passes, and I go through the motions, but it’s like I don’t exist without her. And I’m starting to resent the pervasive silence.
