by Lily Foster
“What a bitch.”
Rene finally turned to look at me and then she laughed a little. “Yes, she was an absolute bitch!” She took a deep breath. “And since then, I’ve lived here, there and everywhere.” She shook her head. “It’s not like my father was totally responsible for that night but it was…the last straw, you know? He’d never really taken care of me. It was like I was born to a mother and a father…but I had no parents.”
I pulled her in even closer. “Rene.” I had no other words and I think she didn’t need them. She just needed to know I was there with her.
“I hope you’re ok hearing all that, Caleb.”
“You hope I’m ok? I just want to make it better for you, Rene.”
“You do make it better. I just know it’s probably tough hearing that about me. It makes me feel ashamed to say it out loud. I’ve never told anyone that story.”
“No, don’t you dare feel ashamed. God, I want to beat that loser to death for what he did to you.”
She smiled up at me. “I wish growing up you were my neighbor or something. I think you would have looked out for me, even as a kid.”
“You know I would have. I’m here to take care of you now, Rene. I don’t ever want to let you go.”
She turned around in my arms and faced me. She told me she loved me and then let out a big yawn, which made us both laugh. “I’m taking you up to bed, my love.”
She fell asleep quickly. I think opening up like that took everything out of her. I, on the other hand, couldn’t settle down. I had that old familiar feeling coming over me—boiling rage, adrenaline coursing through my veins. In the old days I’d find someone or something to hit. Now I just had to talk myself down, let it pass over me.
I held Rene close to me. I could feel her heart beating against me and I could feel her breathe. I felt that I had so much to lose.
I couldn’t lose Rene.
Rene
I woke up and was alone in bed. I was feeling peaceful and relieved. For better or worse, Caleb knew everything there was to know about me. My secrets were safe with him. I was safe here.
I walked downstairs to find him standing in his boxers, looking out the window, his hands fisted in his hair. “Telling you all that last night stressed you out, huh?”
He turned to me. “No. Yes. I can’t help it, Rene. I just want to set out and kill anyone who’s hurt you. I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about you.”
“And here I am feeling so light-hearted and relieved. I dumped my stress onto you!”
As he came over towards me he said, “I need to know you’ll lean on me like that. I mean it, Rene. You don’t know how grateful I am that you trusted me with all that last night.”
I was standing on the second-to-last step wearing just a little tank top and some lacy boy shorts. “God, look at you,” he said as he rested his head against my chest and his hands rested on my hips. “Rene.”
“You look exhausted, Caleb. Come back up to bed.”
We lay down together with his head rested on my belly and his arms firm around my hips. I rubbed his head until he was breathing heavily and sound asleep against me. This big, strong man was weary with worry over me.
I had let myself believe over the years that I needed next to nothing from anyone. I never wanted to count on anyone else. Things were changing so quickly now. I wanted this. I wanted Caleb to love me, protect me and take care of me. I wanted to do the same for him, as well. As I looked down at him, as big and strong as he was, I knew what was happening between us was probably scary for him too. While I was afraid of letting myself rely on anyone too heavily, I figured he was deathly afraid of losing anyone else he loved.
Caleb loved me from head to toe as the sun rose and streamed through his windows early that Monday morning. His body was all rippling muscles, so powerful, but he loved me gently, holding back the raw force that he sometimes took me with. Don’t get me wrong, it was sweet, slow pleasure. But although he didn’t speak of it again, I knew what I’d shared with him the other night left him pained. “Caleb, I won’t break, you know. What happened to me happened a long time ago. I’m ok.”
“Listen, love, give me time. I want it slow and sweet now.” He smiled. “I’ll ravage you again someday soon, I promise.”
When he was getting ready to go to work it took everything I had not to grab his tie and drag him back to bed. I needed more. I was surprised by the feeling. I wanted him and I wanted it a little rough. With Caleb I could want that because I trusted him completely. I knew that no matter what we did, what he did to me, what I did to him, that I was safe.
I wanted to make him late for work but decided to just settle for admiring him as he finished dressing and getting ready. He was so gorgeous. “Hey, Rene, what are you smiling about?”
“I can’t believe someone who looks like you is actually mine.”
With that, he swooped down onto me and wrestled the sheet that I had up around my breasts away from me. I laughed as he laid his fully clothed body on top of my naked body and teased in a husky voice, “Really? You, Rene? Did you think you’d end up with an ogre with no teeth and a hairy mole on his face?”
As he ran a hand over my breast, down to the curve of my hip and then around to cup my bum, he growled, “You are so gorgeous, woman. I could lock us in here and fuck you all day long. I won’t ever get enough of you.”
Now I felt achy for him. “Oh my God, Caleb. How can you say things like that to me and then leave me?”
He laughed and looked over at the clock. “I’m really so sorry, Rene. I’m late already and I have a client coming in. You think you’re hot and bothered? I’m going to have blue balls all day thinking about you.”
When I got back to school I saw that he had tucked a gift box from Barney’s into my bag. It was a beautiful, baby blue colored beret. But the words he wrote in the card were the real gift.
Rene,
No one has ever made me happier and no one ever will. I’ll love you forever-C
P.S. I hope you like the beret. I like this color on you.
Caleb
Leaving her this morning was torture and coming home to an empty, quiet apartment was…well, it just sucked.
I called Mick, Sean, Finn and Ed to come over to watch whatever game was on tonight. I just wanted a distraction. I hadn’t noticed the envelope on the coffee table when I got in, Mick saw it first. “Here, Caleb, I got you a belated Valentine.”
“You’re such a dick. Gimme that.”
As they all cracked open their first beers and were bullshitting in my living room, I went into the kitchen. I smiled just holding the envelope. Anything that had to do with her warmed me up from the inside out.
Caleb,
I haven’t even left your place yet and I miss you like crazy.
I love you with all my heart.
Your Rene
What I wouldn’t give to have her here with me right now. It had been, what, twelve hours since I saw her? The thought of not seeing her for a few weeks caused me actual pain in my chest. Just then, my phone pinged with a new text:
I love my gift, thank you.
I wrote right back:
I just read your note. Another two looong weeks until I see u…gonna go insane.
“Are you done reading and rereading your card, lover boy? Order the freaking wings. I’m starving!”
Leave it to Mick to jolt me back to reality.
Chapter Twelve
Rene
It was two very long weeks. I decided to head down to New York again instead of having Caleb come up here. I just liked staying with him so much better than holing up in a hotel. This time I wanted to pick up where we’d left off. I decided to make a long weekend out of it and Caleb sounded thrilled when I told him I’d meet him out Friday night at a bar close to where he worked.
I made an appointment to see Marcel Friday afternoon and went there straight from the airport. He kissed me warmly on both cheeks and spoke to me in French the e
ntire time he cut my hair. Twice I had to ask him to slow down and he corrected my word usage once or twice but Marcel assured me my French was “sans défaut.” I think “flawless” was a kind-hearted exaggeration but I was pleased with how easily I could fall back into the language. And it was so good to see Marcel again. In reality, he was a new acquaintance but he felt more like an old, lifelong friend. My hair had grown to shoulder length and Marcel cut it to return it to a chic, chin-length bob. I loved it. It was perfectly professional yet flirty and sexy.
I went back to Caleb’s to change before going to meet him. I took a quick shower, taking care not to wet my hair. I slathered lotion on every inch of my body and then put on the beautiful, lacy lavender bra and panties I’d picked out for today. I’d taken to lingerie shopping when I was missing Caleb during those long stretches of time away from him. I took extra care with my makeup, wearing more than I normally did, which was hardly any. But as I looked in the mirror, I liked this slightly older-looking, sophisticated version of myself.
As I looked at my body in the mirror I imagined Caleb peeling, biting and ripping these lacy things off me. My body was burning and I could feel myself getting wet with anticipation for him already.
Caleb
Damn, she was hot.
I stood at the other end of the crowded bar just watching her for a few minutes. My first instinct was to head right over to Rene but I was fascinated watching some guy trying to chat her up. She said something that made him turn away and then a moment later I saw two men standing behind her looking her way and gesturing towards her appreciatively. She was spectacular looking. I’m sure every man in there had checked her out.
She was wearing make-up. Red stained lips, smoky eyes, sweet blush. Her hair looked sexy and she was wearing a grey, satin, sleeveless top over a black pencil skirt that hugged her curves.
When the bartender, who was far too busy to be lingering, returned to talk to her a second time, I snapped out of it and went to claim what was mine. I swooped in and whispered in her ear, “How many men have hit on you since you got here?”
She let out a relieved breath. “I dunno, three? I’m glad you’re here. I’m not good at playing that game.”
“I hate the idea of any man even looking at you but I can’t blame them. You look like every guy’s dream tonight.”
She gave me a smile that I wanted to think was reserved just for me. “I just want to be your dream. Caleb, do you dream about me at night?”
She had such a sweet, innocent look on her face but at this moment she was anything but. The bar was crowded so I was able to slide my hand up her leg, under the hem of her skirt, unnoticed. A low growl rose in my chest. I lowered my mouth to whisper in her ear. “I dream about you, Rene. I dream about your naked body pressed up against me in the warm ocean, and about laying you down in the sand and moving inside of you. I dream about your hands braced against the tiles in my shower as I take you from behind. I dream about you in my bed, with you on top, grinding against me. I always fucking dream about you.”
She looked flushed and needy. “Take me home, Caleb.”
Cab drivers were oblivious in New York; seen it all before. I pulled Rene into my lap in the back seat and she hiked up her skirt so she could straddle me. My hands moved to her hips and we kissed like two desperate people. On the elevator ride I had her up against the wall grinding roughly against her. Once I fumbled with the key and we were in my apartment, I took a breath. “I also dream about you undressing while I watch.”
I fell back onto the couch and loosened my tie. Rene stood before me. Her eyes were lust-filled and heavy. She smiled and then turned around and looked at me over her shoulder. She took her sweet time as she undid the back buttons on her blouse and lowered the zipper down the back of her skirt. Oh, the way she looked as the fabric slid down to reveal the sweetest hips and ass known to man, barely covered in lace. She turned to me, so hot in her heels, bra and panties and said, “Tonight you’re not going to be gentle with me.”
“I’m so hard just looking at you, Rene.”
I moved to her and had one hand cupping her bottom while the other went straight to her and thrust inside. She gasped but I knew I wasn’t being too rough with her. She was just aching with need like I was. Rene was grinding against my fingers and looked lost as she dug her nails into my shoulders. I backed her against the wall and she lifted one leg and rested it on the top of a table, opening herself to me. I knelt down, moved the flimsy fabric aside and took her in my mouth; sweet Rene. She whimpered, so softly, “Caleb, please.”
My hands made their way back up her thighs and I entered her damp flesh again with one finger and then two. I moved up and kissed her possessively. She was mine and my eyes clenched tight when I felt her come and my name tore from her lips.
I turned her back around then, raised her hands over her head and planted them against the wall. I started down at her heels and ran my hands and my tongue up her thighs. I planted kisses on her gorgeous ass as I lowered her lacy panties down her legs. I moved up to kiss her neck as I cradled her ass in my hands and moved my fingers closer to her sex. Rene seemed like she was biting her lip to hold back the moans escaping from her lips. I ran my hands slowly up her hips, then her waist, and then rested one hand on the soft swell of her breast. With the other hand I got rid of my pants and boxers and then I undid the clasp on her bra. I teased her nipples hard and pressed my body into hers. She pleaded again, “Caleb, please.”
“Please what?”
“Please, come inside me.”
I entered her hard and thrust all-in with one swift movement. She cried out my name as I moved in and out of her, over and over. I cupped both breasts in my hands and moved harder, came harder than I ever had.
She was so beautiful. I held her to me. She seemed as if she couldn’t stand without me holding her. I whispered in her ear, “Are you ok, love?”
“I’m more than ok.”
And I was so much more than ok now; she was here with me.
Rene
I breathed him in as I woke wrapped up in his arms. Caleb smelled masculine and woodsy. And he smelled like sex. Last night, I thought as I smiled, we broke a record. I think I’d had five orgasms, my new personal best.
I whispered, “I love you.”
He held me closer and snuggled closer into me. “You are the most beautiful girl in the world, you know that?”
“I think your beautiful girl needs a shower.”
“No, stay right here with me. You smell like vanilla, mixed with a night of raunchy sex. Best scent ever.”
“Caleb, it’s already twelve. I don’t think I’ve slept this late in my life! I need a shower and coffee.”
“You have me totally happy and relaxed, Rene. I could stay here in bed with you all weekend.”
“You’re not getting off that easy, Caleb. I need to be wined and dined. Or be fed breakfast in the very least.”
He bolted upright. “Oh shit! I got us tickets to the Rangers game today. Let me check the tickets. It might be at one. We’ll have to hustle.” He came back with a satisfied grin on his face and jumped back into bed. “Three o’clock. We have all the time in the world.”
I tried to get up but he overpowered me. “No. I need at least a few lazy kisses before you can leave me.”
We spent the next half-hour kissing each other and touching. God, I was in so deep with him.
My first experience at the Garden was great. Caleb’s seats were right up close. I flinched every time a player got checked, slamming into the plexiglass in front of us, or a puck came in our general direction. Caleb held me close, leaning in to explain the game to me whenever something happened.
I was only half listening, as I was day dreaming about a future with Caleb most of the time. Love—being in love—was amazing. Bursting with happiness was the only way to describe it.
The next day, after another lazy morning naked in Caleb’s bed, we met up with Mick and his newest flame for a late lunch. W
hen she got up to use the ladies’ room, Caleb asked, “Was she named after Farrah Fawcett?”
Mick looked perplexed. “Who’s Farrah Fawcett?”
Caleb shook his head. “Before our time, but you never saw Charlie’s Angels reruns? Ah, Farrah. Probably, even to this day, the best poster of a girl in a bathing suit ever. Look it up.”
“I don’t know who she’s named after. In fact, I don’t even know her last name. By the way, Rene, how’s Caitlin?”
“She’s great. Do you remember her last name?”
“As a matter of fact, Beaumont, I do. Richards, correct?”
“Yes. I’m impressed.”
“I always seem to remember the names of the ones who don’t like me. That girl was the polar opposite of clingy. She all but said ‘no thanks’ when I asked if she wanted me to call her phone so that she’d have my number.”
“No. She likes you. She’s just not looking for the love of her life right now, you know?”
He laughed. “That’s why I find myself thinking about her now and then.”
Farrah came back then and Caleb ordered another round. When the waitress came back, Caleb said, “Hey, I almost forgot. We have to toast Rene on her job offer. Rene’s going to be working with Meredith Carey at ABC.”
Mick clinked glasses with me. “Wow, Rene, that’s great.” Then he clinked glasses with Caleb. “And it’s great for my boy here that you’ll be in New York.”
Farrah said, “Congratulations, Rene! Who’s Meredith Carey?”
“She’s the morning news anchor on The A.M. America show.”
Caleb was rubbing my hand and smiling at me proudly. “What’s she like, Rene?”
“I’ve only met her a few times but you know when you feel like you’re meant to cross paths with someone? Like you’re sure that you’re going to know the person for a long time?”
He looked at me lovingly. “Yes, I know exactly how that feels.”
I smiled right back at him. Oh, I loved him.
