by Lily Foster
Men fell all over her everywhere but here it seemed like she was just in her element. She took me to a little bistro off a side street that was a favorite on her last trip here. When she walked in the owner knew her name, as she had been here with one of his oldest and most loyal customers on the last trip. When Rene told him she wished she could cook the love of her life a roast chicken that tasted half as good as the one he had made us, he demanded she spend a day with him and do just that, have a free cooking lesson. As we walked through the streets of Paris on our way back to the hotel that night, I asked, “Another kindred spirit in Bernard?”
“Right? That’s what I was thinking. Do you mind though, Caleb, if I spend tomorrow afternoon there?”
“Not if you can cook for me when we get home. Believe me, I can occupy myself for a few hours in Paris.”
I did not like shopping but I did like showering Rene with presents. I wished she would let me do it a little more often. I asked Darcy for some suggestions and she sent me the location of some of her favorite spots and a cheeky message about a good place to get “what I know you would really like her to wear.” And I have to admit, that store was an experience. The salespersons all looked like glamazon models who offered to try things on so I could see if I wanted to purchase. I declined. In the back of my mind I was thinking that if I was stupid enough to sit there and let one of these beauties put on a fashion show for me, Rene was likely to jump out from behind a curtain and scream, “Gotcha!” I wasn’t taking any chances ever again in that department.
By the time she got back with some really delicious to-go containers of trout meuniere amandine with some kind of potato and leek gratin, I had the bed covered with my day’s work. “Oh my God, Caleb. You’re a maniac!”
“I’m eating before you put on a fashion show for me.”
“Are there any actual clothes, or just lingerie?”
I came up behind her and pulled her close. “Yeah, I got you a sweater.”
She swatted at me. “You’re lucky I like you.”
“Rene, this is unreal.”
“Right? Butter and wine make everything taste wonderful.”
“Can you actually cook this on your own?”
“Yes! I taped it on my phone. He also showed me the roast chicken preparation. I can cook you two things. We’ll leave it at that for now.”
“I’m satisfied with that.”
It was my last night with Rene in Paris and neither of us felt like a crazy night out dancing or clubbing. After a long, leisurely bubble bath, Rene tried her new “outfits” on for me. I did well. After a world-class romp we went down to the hotel bar and had desert and champagne and then came back upstairs for another round. One of the best nights ever.
I was sorry to head to the airport the next day but I could see Rene’s wheels were already spinning with ideas she wanted to run by Meredith for their program. I was also feeling the need to get back and dig in. Mick had secured the new office space and I was flying out to San Francisco in two days to meet with some potential clients.
She held me tight at the gate. “I love you.”
“You’re not allowed to wear those lacy things until you get home, you know.”
“Oh no!” Rene deadpanned, “I have that black thong on now. You’re going to have to spank me.”
“You’re putting me on a plane like that? Thanks!”
“Tell me you love me, Caleb.”
“I love you, more than anything.”
I missed her but was so busy the next three weeks that it made being apart easier. While working with Mick on the design for the new office space and outreaching to new business contacts, I had Luke and Kate supervising our mini-remodel on the bungalow. Rene had shown Kate what she liked in some magazines, so they knew what direction to head in. Rene had good taste; simple, Nantucket style siding, clean, coastal design in the kitchen and baths. She was going to be happy to come home to it.
Rene
The day everything changed, Charlie, one of the camera operators, and I were prepping for Meredith’s interview with the U.S. female figure skating team, which was getting ready for their run for a team gold in the next day’s final events.
I was close enough to hear the explosion.
Close enough to hear the screams.
Close enough to feel choked by the acrid smoke.
Charlie had pulled me down and instinctively covered me with his body. We were completely still for a full minute before he said, “You good, Rene?”
“Yeah. What the hell just happened?”
He rolled me over to inspect me and I saw he was covered in ash and debris. “Are you ok, Charlie?”
“I’m fine. Stay down, all right. Another one may go off.”
It was quiet for the minute following and then Charlie and I slowly got up and started walking around, surveying the scene and trying to help victims. It was gruesome. Thankfully, medical teams were on site within minutes and they were caring for the injured. I prayed there were no causalities but I didn’t see how there couldn’t be. The damage, as far as I could see, was extensive.
As we were pushed back by the first responders, Charlie tugged on my sleeve and then was reaching for equipment. “Rene, if I can get this up, let’s tape. We’ll have the first images of the scene.”
I was shaken and utterly confused. “How?”
“You, babe. Get ready for your close-up.”
I frantically tried to text Caleb and then tried to get a call off to Meredith. No signal.
Charlie was able to get a link going to the studio and the producers instructed him to get any footage he could and to get me on camera to report. I guess they figured they could just use the scene footage if I was no good.
I shook for a second and he nodded to me reassuringly as he handed me a microphone. “You got this, Rene.”
Caleb
I was on the phone with a client when my phone pinged with a text, then another, then another. It was either Sean, who left text messages that were more like novels, or I was suddenly very popular for some reason.
I spent another few minutes wrapping up. Between Mick and me, we had built a solid foundation of clients already. I heard a few more messages come through before I finally checked the phone.
Have you heard from Rene?
The same message from Caitlin, my dad, Kate, Maureen, Kasia, Darcy, Chris and Tom.
My stomach felt like it dropped into my shoes. I called my father. “What’s going on?”
“Turn on the television, Caleb. There’s been some sort of terrorist attack. I’m sure she’s ok and she most likely can’t call out. Don’t worry, Caleb. I just wanted to know if you’d heard from her. Caleb?”
My throat was dry and I immediately thought the worst. “I’m here. How long ago did it happen?”
“Seems like it was less than an hour ago. The only news I’m seeing is coming out of New York right now.”
“Dad, I’m going to get off the phone in case she calls.”
“Let me know when you hear from her.”
“I will.”
I called Maureen. She said she was staying at the station to get any available information and would call me. I jumped in a cab and headed up to the station myself. I couldn’t just sit here. I was going to put my hand through the wall or tear the hair out of my head.
If anything happened to her—if she was gone—I knew it was going to be the end of me.
I felt like I was a combination of panicked and numb by the time I made it uptown. The station was like a beehive, people running around, headsets on, shouting. I heard Caroline’s voice over the din, “Caleb, over here.”
When I looked up she was smiling and waving. “Hurry up!”
“Did you hear from her?”
“We’re all about to hear from her! My boss just got word from Meredith. She’s going to be broadcasting from the location studio and Rene is going to be doing live coverage from the site. I think Rene and Charlie were there when it happened a
nd have the only live feed right now.”
I fell into the chair behind me and my head fell in my hands. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a quick squeeze. “Come with me, Caleb, I don’t want to miss this.”
I managed to send off a quick text to my dad:
Think she’s ok. Tell everyone for me. Turn on her channel. Might b on camera.
A few minutes later, Meredith came onto the big screen reporting the story of a suicide bomber who had wreaked havoc on the Olympic Village. I tried to listen but my heart was in my throat until I heard her say, “I’m cutting to Rene Beaumont right now, live at the scene of the attack. Rene, what can you tell us about the explosion?”
I let out a shaky laugh-half-cry when I saw her face. She looked a bit battle weary but beautiful…and alive. “Meredith, the explosion rocked us, knocking us off our feet as we were setting up about one hundred yards away. It’s a tragic scene here now, with multiple injured and we’re hearing estimates of as many as sixty casualties. Rescue crews were here within minutes but the sound of the explosion and the cries of the injured are not something I’ll soon forget.”
After some footage was aired that looked as though it was taken seconds after the blast, Meredith reported on possible suspects and other information when she again broke, “Okay, we are going to return to Rene Beaumont, who has one of the chief security officials with her. Rene, what do you have?”
“Meredith, I’m here with the head of the French security detail here at the Olympics site, Mr. Daniel Bonet…”
Rene then bounced between French and English as she asked the man questions and then translated his responses. Then a security tape was played with an image of a man thought to be the bomber.
A guy I didn’t know yelled out, “Holy shit, talk about a scoop!”
He then high-fived Caroline and the girl next to her. The mood in the studio was celebratory. Weird given the tragedy but I could see the excitement of finally getting a concrete story out of the disaster.
The picture went back to Meredith and Caroline shook me. “She killed it, Caleb. Holy crap, she killed it!”
I tried to laugh. “I’m glad you’re excited. I’m just going to pass out from stress now.”
She punched some buttons into her phone and was then talking to Rene’s boss. “Hey, we just saw our girl, she nailed it! When you’re talking to Meredith tell her Rene’s boyfriend is here with me. I don’t want her worried. He knows she’s ok.” She was still talking to the other person on the line when she laughed and smiled over at me. “Yeah, good point. All of America now knows she’s ok.”
My phone was blowing up again, now with messages like:
So glad she’s ok
She did great
So relieved
You have a hot newscaster girlfriend
…that one was from Mick.
When I went to stand my legs were shaky for a second. Shit, I’d been on autopilot. I had been trying to push the nagging thoughts of her hurt or gone out of my head for the last hour and now the relief I felt was overwhelming.
I headed over to my parents’ place and had two quick, short glasses of whiskey with my dad to settle my shaking hands and rattled nerves. Since they were the only station that had the live feed early on, Rene’s footage and interview with the security official was replayed numerous times on several news outlets. As I watched again, I noticed the air of confidence she just naturally held but looking more closely and knowing Rene, only I could see she was struggling to keep her composure. My dad and I sat there for an hour, glued to the television before I made my way back home and fell asleep with my phone on my chest, hoping for a call or message from her.
Rene
“Caleb?”
“Are you all right?”
“Yes, I’m fine. It’s so awful here, Caleb. I hope you weren’t worried.”
“I’m just thankful you’re ok. I was out of my mind until I saw you on TV.”
I couldn’t help the tears that came. I was exhausted and the images, sounds and smells of the day were crowding into my head.
“It’s all right, Rene. Let it out.”
“It’s just…it was so bad, Caleb. And I’m …I’m just so tired. I’m sure I’ll be better once I get a few hours sleep.”
“I know, babe. I wish I was there with you.”
I cried again. I missed him so much and wished I had his arms around me. “I’m sorry I’m blubbering. I miss you.”
“Rene, I was so proud of how you handled yourself. I couldn’t believe it when I saw you on TV. Do you realize how great you did?”
“You mean I didn’t look as petrified as I felt?”
“Not at all. You looked calm and authoritative, like you were born to do it. I mean it, you were great!”
“Tomorrow Meredith is covering the national memorial service. I’m glad I’ll be back on the other side of the camera again.”
“I like when you’re on camera, Rene. I like being able to see you.”
I saw the crew waving me back towards the van. “Oh, Caleb, I’m sorry, I have to go. They’re waiting for me. I’ll call again as soon as I can but it’s been hard getting a line out. I love you.”
God, I’d never felt so tired. The next week went by in a blur of constant activity. Thank goodness for Meredith. It was good to see how a seasoned pro handled this craziness. And she was so generous with me. Lending support, pointing out details and story angles that I never would have noticed or examined on my own.
Meredith coaxed me into doing two more brief on-air spots on location. She agreed with Caleb, telling me it was what I was meant to do. Although it was scary at first, I’ll admit, I did like the rush of being on camera, reporting.
It was exciting and I was part of a location team that felt like family, as we were practically together twenty-four-seven. Charlie, Sal and I could pretty much finish each other’s sentences at this point. Sal was an older tech support guy who had worked with the network for over twenty-five years. He was like a father figure and Charlie and I were like the kids. Charlie was a nice, easy going guy and he’d always have a place on my good side after throwing his body over me when the blast when off.
Even though there were regular bursts of extreme activity, there was also a lot of down time when we would just sit and talk. Sal was born in Italy and moved to New York as a child. He spoke fluent Italian and I loved listening to him tell stories about New York back in the day, his big, crazy Italian family and hearing him speak with pride of his three sons, all attorneys. Charlie grew up in Seattle and after finishing college and backpacking through Europe for a year, landed in New York with one his friends and never left. They both could fill the long stretches of time with stories that made me keel over laughing at times and, at others, feel the shared sense of loss and sadness at the low points in life we all have. Charlie and I, maybe because we were closer in age, had formed a tight bond. I don’t know if I found it easy to share things with Charlie because of the type of person he was or if Caleb had just made me into a more open person who wasn’t ashamed of my past or hell bent on keeping my life one hundred percent private. Anyway, as the weeks passed, over those long hours I’d told Charlie the basics about my parents, my nomadic life and I talked about Caleb, even sharing that I hoped he would ask me to marry him soon. That’s why I was surprised when, after a night out with the entire location crew having drinks and letting off steam, Charlie cornered me on the walk back to our hotel and kissed me. I had tripped over a crack in the sidewalk—might have had something to do with the two drinks I’d had—and he caught me around the waist with both hands. As I steadied myself he didn’t move his hands from me but instead eased me back against the wall of a building and moved his knee right between my thighs as he lowered his face to mine. He pressed his lips to mine as he moved his leg right up to push against my center. His hands were sliding up my torso, closer to my breasts. “What are you doing?”
“Rene, don’t stop me. Please let me kiss you, just t
his once. I want you to feel me, Rene, and I need you—need to feel you.”
Ok, this boy was drunk and horny. I was quiet but insistent in my tone. “Charlie. Stop. Right now.”
He backed off a little but still had me caged in with his palms pressed against the brick behind me. He looked flushed and I when I lowered my eyes for a second I could see his massive erection pressing against the seam of his pants. “Rene, I want you. I’ve never met anyone I want as much as I want you. Can you tell me that you feel nothing for me?”
I was struggling to catch my breath. What did I feel? The feeling of his body against mine was scary and good at the same time. But I knew that was purely physical and I was feeling the loss of being with Caleb. I liked Charlie but I didn’t want Charlie. “I don’t feel that way about you, Charlie. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head and let out a frustrated breath. “I know how your body reacted to mine. I didn’t just imagine that.”
Did I want it? Yes, after more than a month of going without, I was wound as tight as a top in that respect. Just the thought of Caleb could have my knees buckling under me. But I would never be stupid enough to risk what I had to satisfy some passing itch. “Charlie, I’m going to say goodnight now.”
With that, I ducked out from under his arm and went inside the hotel. As the shower streamed hot water over me, I touched myself until the ache in me subsided. It wasn’t even remotely satisfying and I cried as I drifted off to sleep.
The next day even Sal was on edge, as the air between Charlie and me had become thick and tense. When Sal left to grab a coffee, I approached Charlie. “Do you want to talk about last night?”
He looked sad but there was a touch of anger in his expression. “I’m sorry I did that last night, Rene, but I meant what I said. I was being honest when I said I have feelings for you.” He looked up at me then. “And I was being honest when I said I think you feel something for me too.”
“Charlie, I do feel something for you. I mean, you threw yourself over me without any regard for your own safety that day and since then we’ve practically spent every waking moment together.”
