But if he wanted a relationship with Kara, he had to come to some conclusion that would convince him that things would be different with her, that he would inspire more love and loyalty with her than he had with Angela.
Brad watched him with sleepy eyes as he continued to guzzle the juice, his tiny fingers opening and closing in what looked like some mysterious sign language. Cole touched the baby’s fingers with one of his and found himself caught in a sudden death grip. Heavy eyelids closed and the juice bottle fell out of Brad’s mouth to the floor, bonking Mel on the nose. Having been through long chases, challenging searches and even gun battles, Mel simply moved his head over an inch, unaffected by the assault.
“Great, Brad,” Cole said softly. “Now what am I supposed to do? Boil it? Sanitize it in a little brandy? Actually, that’s not a bad idea, is it. Maybe we’ll both have to try that.”
Cole’s brother and his wife were shocked when Cole greeted them at the door shortly after midnight, the baby happily asleep in his arm. Mel barked a welcome. Emily, tall and elegant with rich brown hair and amber eyes, leaned down to pet the dog, then stared at her baby, looking pleased.
“Did he give you any trouble?” she asked Cole in amazement. “He doesn’t sleep like this for me.” She took the baby from him, careful not to wake him.
Brad leaned closer to his son. “You sedated him, didn’t you? The two of you have been drinking together. Tell me the truth.”
Cole slung the colorful diaper bag over his brother’s shoulder. “Clever boy obviously takes after his uncle. Likes my Christmas tree.”
“How do you know?” Brad asked.
“He told me,” Cole replied.
Emily reached up to kiss Cole’s cheek. “Thank you, Cole. We had a beautiful evening.” She and Brad shared a look filled with love and adoration.
“Oh, go home!” Cole teased. “I’m glad you had a good time but I’m not doing this every night.”
“Thanks so much,” Brad said with rare gravity. “You like him, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Cole said, “he’s cool.”
“Hmm. Takes after his uncle. Good night.”
“Wait.” Cole followed them onto the walk, Mel right beside him. “I was thinking we’d have Christmas here. What do you think?”
Both stared at him, then looked at each other. “You mean dinner?” Emily finally asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “You and Aunt Shirley can cook, and I’d like to invite Kara and her son. I’ve got lots of room and—” he waved a hand behind him in the direction of the tree, which glowed in the shadows of the house “—the perfect setting.”
“Well…yeah,” Brad agreed, and Emily nodded. “But you’re sure you want to go to all that trouble?”
“No trouble. Why don’t you and Aunt Shirley talk it over, Emily? And if Kara can come, I know she’ll want to help out. She’s a great cook.”
Brad looked at his brother closely. “Are you in love, or have you gone crazy?”
Cole had to think about that. “A little bit of both, I think. Good night.” He reached out to touch his nephew’s head. “Great job on this baby, guys.”
Brad still wore that probing look. “You’re okay, right?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” Brad smiled. “Thanks again. Looks like a great Christmas for the Winslows.”
Mel ran into the house and Cole followed, closing the door behind him. Mel waited for Cole near the tree, his rubber ball in his mouth, tail wagging furiously. The dog always got a second wind when Cole was ready to go to bed.
Cole sat on the floor and tossed the ball for Mel a few times. Mel kept retrieving it and dropping it in Cole’s lap, dancing excitedly as he waited for Cole to throw it again.
Eventually tiring of the game, Mel ignored the ball and came to lie beside Cole, dropping his head on Cole’s thigh and heaving a great sigh. Cole stroked the dog’s wiry coat and stared at their spectacular tree.
Kara had been right. There was something magical about having a tree. It affected his mood, his outlook, and even shook off a few of his fears, so that areas of his life that he’d previously thought blocked now seemed to open up.
The thought of spending time with Kara tomorrow filled him with a rush of exhilaration.
Finally he unplugged the tree and headed for bed. Mel followed, curling up in his crate in the bedroom.
As he drifted off to sleep, Cole remembered Brad’s words: “Looks like a great Christmas for the Winslows.”
COLE LOOKED GORGEOUS. Dressed in jeans and a dark blue sweater over a chambray shirt, he stood staring up at her roof, where the reindeer were still unlit.
“Forgot the lights,” she said, and ran inside to flip the switch. Then she locked the door behind her. “Thanks again for doing that.” She handed him a coffee cake covered in plastic wrap with a holiday pattern.
“For me?” he asked, looking pleased.
“No,” she replied heartlessly. “For Brad. It was nice of him to give up his free time to help you.”
“Well…I gave up free time, too.”
“Now, don’t whine. You also gave me a heart attack and took several years off my life. Then you yelled at me.”
“You had it coming. Promise me you’ll never confront an intruder again.”
“I’m mistress of my own home, sole protector of my son,” she said, accepting his hand-up into the passenger seat of his truck. “There are a lot of things I have to handle on my own.” She could handle her life on her own, but she didn’t want to. She wanted him in it.
Frowning, he closed her door, then headed around to his side and climbed in. “That’s not one of them. That’s what the police are for. Courage Bay Bar and Grill okay for breakfast?” He placed the coffee cake on top of the jump seat in the back.
“My favorite place.”
“Good. We can argue more over bacon and eggs.”
Instead, as they sat over breakfast, he told her about baby-sitting his nephew. After their food arrived he went on with pride about surviving a lengthy screaming episode, and told her that the Christmas tree had finally distracted the baby and brought about peace and quiet. As he spoke about his nephew, she detected a glimmer of sadness in his eyes, and could only guess that caring for his brother’s baby had led to thoughts of his own.
“Congratulations,” she said, wanting to lighten the mood. “Even experienced mothers can have real difficulty with prolonged screaming. It’s almost impossible to figure out what point a baby’s trying to make when your brain is muddled from the noise and the guilt you feel because you can’t stop the crying.”
“I do feel very superior,” he admitted with a grin.
“And well you should. What’s your first stop today?”
“My shopping’s finished. I’m just here to fetch and carry for you.”
She frowned at him, guilt nudging her. “That’s not right. I’m sure there are a lot of things you need to do for yourself on your time off.”
Now he frowned at her, apparently as surprised by her curious reluctance to connect with him as she was by his cheerful, open behavior.
“No, there aren’t,” he said. “Being with you is a priority.” Then he added unexpectedly, “I’d like you and Taylor to join us for Christmas.”
“Us?” she repeated.
“My aunt and my brother and his family.”
This was a bit of a shock. “Let me guess,” she said, trying to sort out her conflicting feelings. “I have to bring my coffee cake.”
He didn’t react, but she saw the wariness in his eyes. “Only if you want to. What’s going on, Kara?”
She pretended innocence. “What do you mean?”
“Something’s bothering you.”
“No,” she lied, toasting him with her coffee cup. “But if you’re here just to help me out, then I’m buying lunch.”
“Tully’s has chili fries and monster chocolate sundaes,” he told her, apparently willing to accept her offer.
Kara was
grateful he didn’t press her about her reaction to his invitation. She knew she should be thrilled at the prospect of spending Christmas with Cole and his family, but for some reason she felt vulnerable. Not to mention guilty that she couldn’t just come out and tell him about Loren.
It wouldn’t be fair not to go with Loren. She just hoped that Cole never found out and that Loren realized his was just an evening out between friends. What on earth had she been thinking when she’d said yes?
The sooner this evening came and went, the better. She was beginning to think her marriage to Danny had left her more messed up when it came to men than she’d thought.
“You’re sure there’s nothing wrong?” he asked again. “You look as though you’ve been given a choice between hanging and a firing squad.”
That was exactly how she felt.
Determined to enjoy this morning, and her time with Cole, she fibbed—again. “Actually, it’s a choice between Christmas socks and movie gift certificates for the kids in my chorus. What do you think?”
He studied her for a moment as though uncertain whether to believe her. But he didn’t question her. “Hard to go wrong with gift certificates,” he counseled. “Then again, they could hang up the socks on Christmas Eve and possibly get more stuff.”
She laughed at that mercenary thought and decided her students would likely endorse it.
COLE FOLLOWED KARA patiently from store to store, never complaining when she lingered, offering an opinion when she asked for it. At the toy store, he advised her against the galaxy freighter Air Athlete in favor of the Gamma Quadrant patrol ship.
“Taylor prefers the patrol ship,” he told her. “He helped me buy one for Blaine.”
“Really.” She put the freighter back and picked up the one Cole offered her. “I wonder why.”
“You wouldn’t want to know.” He followed her to the counter with two large shopping bags filled with purchases. “It’s very sexist.”
She looked alarmed. “No! I’ve raised him not to be sexist.”
He shrugged. “He’s a guy. He can’t help the inclination toward action, which the patrol ship would have over the freighter.”
She was puzzled. “That’s not sexist.”
“No. But the notion that a quarterback attracts more babes than a hitter is.”
She gasped indignantly. “Babes? He used the word babes?”
“I suggested he use the word women from now on.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
She paid for the purchase and he followed her out into the mall. “Do quarterbacks really get more women than hitters?” she asked.
The question seemed to amuse him. “Never having been either, I can only go on hearsay. Football’s about muscle, and baseball’s about brains. As a woman, which would you pick?”
He was looking into her eyes, and his own were filled with laughter and probing interest.
“I’ve…never really been impressed by athletes. I mean, by their prowess, certainly, but not in terms of sex appeal.” As she spoke, she was thinking that policemen were sexy. One in particular.
She knew when his grin widened and he lowered his head to kiss her that he’d read her mind.
“You just keep thinking that,” he said.
Sexual tension and guilt were not compatible cohabitants of a woman’s being, she decided as they stopped in a shop filled with holiday clothing accessories. Her stomach was beginning to churn. She bought socks decorated with snowmen for the girls and reindeer for the boys.
Her stomach flipped right over when she and Cole walked back out into the mall and almost collided with Loren. He looked pleased to see her, until he noticed Cole.
“Winslow,” he said with a barely polite inclination of his head.
“Ford,” Cole replied, his courtesy stretched as tightly as Loren’s.
Kara couldn’t believe this was happening. She’d never been a woman to play games, to pit one man against another. And yet she had a horrible feeling this was going to look like she was doing precisely that.
“What’s going on?” Loren asked, his smile taut.
Cole opened his mouth to reply, but afraid of what he might say, she put in quickly, “He’s helping me pick out gifts for Taylor. He and Taylor shopped together last week for Cole’s neighbor’s son, and I thought I’d put what he learned to good use.” Both men looked a little surprised at her rambling reply.
“You shopping, too?” she asked Loren cheerfully, as though unaware of the mounting tension.
His armload of bags made the question silly.
“I thought you might be getting ready for tonight,” Loren said.
Oh, no. “It doesn’t take me long,” she replied brightly. “I’ve got my routine.”
A heavy silence fell over their little group, and Kara couldn’t bear the tension. She was just about to say that she had to go meet Taylor when Cole asked with quiet menace, “What are you getting ready for, Kara?”
Before she could reply, Loren said, “I’m taking Kara to the city’s Christmas Ball.”
Cole turned slowly to her. “Really.”
She sighed, sexual tension and guilt now rubbing against each other like sticks, creating a fire in her stomach. “Yes, really. Well…” She was about to explain that she and Loren were going to the dance as friends, but she had an uneasy feeling that Loren might contradict her.
“Loren, I’ll see you tonight,” she said firmly, smiling at him. After all, this whole thing was her fault, not his.
He looked dubiously from her to Cole. “You want me to take you home now?”
“No. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Okay. I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty.”
“I’ll be ready.”
“So will I.”
Kara didn’t think she was imagining the suggestive tone underlying those three simple words.
With a swift, superior glance aimed at Cole, Loren walked away.
Cole didn’t move, except to put her shopping bags down. His face was filled with anger and confusion. She was sure his feelings were hurt.
“I can explain,” she said.
“Can you?”
Kara wasn’t so sure anymore. It was becoming harder to remember what had pushed her to accept Loren’s invitation.
“Loren’s been asking me to go to the ball with him for weeks,” she said, meeting Cole’s eyes with what she hoped was intrepid honesty.
“So…whether or not you agree to go somewhere depends on the number of times you’re asked?”
The question was annoying, but Kara figured she owed Cole a response.
“No,” she replied calmly, “but I don’t know why it seems to bother you that I said yes. You’ve made it clear you don’t want to get serious with—”
“I didn’t say that,” he interrupted. “I said I couldn’t do it right now….”
“Well, right now is all we’ve got. I need to get on with my—”
“What, are you on some sort of schedule?” he demanded angrily. “I think you’re pushing so hard because you want someone you can pin down. You could never trust Danny, so when I come along and seem trustworthy, you want to staple me in his place.”
Kara was so stunned she couldn’t speak for a moment. “I don’t need you to psychoanalyze me, Cole.”
“Well, it’s time somebody did,” he pointed out harshly.
Tears of frustration stung Kara’s eyes, but the last thing she wanted was to let them fall.
“You need to start by being honest with yourself, and with Taylor. Your son deserves to know that his father chose crime over his family, so he doesn’t hate the first man who comes into your life and tries to stand in his place. Taylor needs a man in his life—but Loren Ford? Come on…”
Kara was growing angry now. “You have no right to criticize Loren. He’s a good administrator—”
“If you say he does his job well, I believe you. But Loren’s got an overinflated ego. Do you and Taylor
need another Danny in your lives?”
Kara whirled around and stormed away, too angry and too close to tears to respond. Of course she didn’t want Loren in her life, and right now she wasn’t so sure about Cole, either.
Strong fingers caught her arm on the sidewalk just outside the mall. In a fury, she yanked away, and Cole held his hand up to assure her he wouldn’t try to detain her. In his other hand were the shopping bags she’d left behind.
“You forgot these,” he said.
She tried to take them from him, but he held them away.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded, sounding as if he was barely holding his temper in check. “We came in my truck, remember? And you’re supposed to work the fair in—” he checked his watch “—an hour.”
Remembering that this was all her fault, Kara tried to stop their spiraling anger and explain. “Cole, I’m sorry. I guess I just don’t know how to deal with you.”
“Fine,” he said. “I’ll save you the trouble.”
He began to walk away, but she caught his arm and pulled him toward a quiet corner.
“This is just great!” she said. “You can just go off and live your big heroic life all alone, because you’re afraid if you let a woman come close again, she’ll just hurt you the way your wife did.”
“At least I don’t lie to my son, and I’ve never led anyone on.”
“I didn’t lead you on!” she whispered harshly. “Far from it! You made me believe there was no hope.”
“‘Don’t think you’re getting away from me,’” he said, quoting himself. “Did that sound like there was no hope? And what about the invitation to share Christmas with my family?”
“You didn’t extend that invitation until today,” she said. “I’d already accepted Loren’s invitation.”
“After I told you that you weren’t getting away from me.”
“Those are just teasing expressions, Cole. I’m ready to start my life over, but you’re still trying to fix your old one.” She drew a breath and tried to think logically. “Cole, I understand about the baby. I lost a baby after Taylor was born. I know it isn’t just a cluster of cells. It’s part of your soul.”
Blown Away Page 13
