by Natasha West
‘Long stories are my business.’
‘I don’t think I understand it enough to tell it,’ Eden said honestly.
‘Woman, you’re a hot mess,’ Maggie said, shaking her head.
‘Me? A mess?’ Eden said, shocked. And coming from Maggie…
‘Yep. Solid gold train wreck.’
Eden thought about it. ‘No one’s ever called me a mess before.’
‘Really? A lot of people have called me a mess,’ Maggie said. ‘There’s worse things to be.’
Eden was thrown. She suddenly really needed to be alone. ‘Maggie, I’m getting in the shower.’
‘Is that an invitation?’ Maggie joked.
Eden was contrite. ‘I’m sorry I wasted your time. You should be meeting someone a bit more… I don’t know…’
‘A bit more into me? That’s what you want to say, isn’t it?’ Maggie asked neutrally.
‘It’s not personal. It’s just one of those things, you know? Maybe if we’d met at a different time…’
‘…You might have actually slept with me before you decided you didn’t fancy me,’ Maggie said. ‘Look, let’s not drag it out. We tried. It didn’t happen. So I’m gracefully taking a step back. Well, not gracefully, but I’m backing off. You’re not the only sexy blonde with legs that go on forever. I’ll find love again,’ she chuckled. ‘And you need to stop messing about and go and get the one you want.’
‘What?’ Eden said, shocked.
‘We both know you’ve only got eyes for Natalie. And it started way before we left the dock.’
Eden frowned. ‘It’s not a goer, Maggie. She might be with Isabella. Or possibly not now, but it doesn’t matter because we slept together and then I wasn’t, she wasn’t…’
‘Ohhhh my god,’ Maggie moaned. ‘Can you please save this monologue for her? I’m cool, Eden, but I’m not cool enough to listen to you talk about Natalie after you rejected me. I mean, Christ, I can only come second to that woman so many times. Even I have a limit.’
Eden’s mouth quirked. ‘Yeah, right. I’m sorry about that.’ She sighed. ‘One last thing and I’ll shut up about it forever.’
‘OK, go on then.’
‘You really think I should talk to her?’
‘Yes. Whatever happens, at least you’ll know where you stand.’ Maggie finished tying her shoes. ‘Right, I’m off to kill the pain with carbs. See you at breakfast.’ She left.
Eden got into the shower and thought about the problem at hand. Natalie. She was on this boat somewhere, and she was the only woman on it that Eden wanted. But Natalie had said they weren’t anything. So what should Eden do? Might Natalie change her mind if she was simply honest with her? According to Isabella, that was unlikely. Because Eden still had the same problem she’d walked on the boat with. She was terrified to be herself.
***
Eden went down to breakfast, still unsure as to what she should do. Most of the gang was present and accounted for at the buffet, though Maggie hadn’t made it down yet and Steph was nowhere to be seen. Eden saw Natalie and smiled and waved, hoping to see a response that would give her some idea of how Natalie might react to a love confession. Natalie looked a bit surprised, but she smiled back. Something about that lovely smile warmed Eden, made her feel hopeful for a wonderful moment.
Max, sat beside Natalie, turned to her, and said, ‘I’m going up for coffee. Want one?’ Natalie said she was fine.
Eden thought it was a bit weird that she’d offered to collect coffee for Natalie and Natalie only. She was trying not to read too much into it, but Max added, ‘Well, I need one after last night.’ And she winked at Natalie. Natalie gave her a quick, yet somehow, intimate smile back.
Eden felt sick.
‘Well, well,’ Angelique said. ‘Looks like Max finally got her woman.’
Even though she had no appetite at all, Eden got up for food; not fruit salad, either. She got pancakes, smothered them in butter and maple syrup, sat down at a table far away from Natalie, and began to demolish the plate. She watched Maggie pass by the table, then stop and back up. She looked at Eden, at her plate, and back at Eden. ‘So the talk didn’t go well, I take it.’
Eden said through a mouth full of pancakes. ‘I waited too long. She got with Max.’
‘Max?!’ Maggie shrieked. ‘I didn’t see that coming.’
‘Nope.’ She finally finished chewing and poured more syrup on the pancakes. ‘I’m a total idiot.’
Maggie sat down and grabbed a whole pancake off Eden’s stack. ‘Welcome to the club.’
Twenty-Three
Natalie was in a toilet stall with Max. They were kissing. Because Isabella was right, Natalie needed to get with someone. Max was the clear choice. So after Isabella had called it a night, Natalie made her way over to Max. She’d been chatting some woman up, but Natalie made a daring move and whispered, ‘Sorry to interrupt, but do you wanna go into the bathroom for a minute?’ Max had grinned ear to ear and said, ‘See ya,’ to the other woman. She’d dragged Natalie straight into a stall and kissed her with no lead up whatsoever.
But after they’d been going at it for a couple of minutes, Natalie thought she might have to stop. Max wasn’t a bad kisser, but Natalie wasn’t really feeling it. She pulled away. ‘Sorry.’
‘What’s wrong?’ Max asked, surprised.
Natalie didn’t have a very good answer for that. ‘I don’t know. I guess I just… I don’t know.’
‘You don’t fancy me?’
‘Max, you’re definitely hot, it’s not that,’ Natalie assured her.
‘So, what is it?’ Max asked, frustrated.
‘I don’t know,’ Natalie answered.
‘Is it because you’re worried about STIs? Because I don’t know what Steph’s told you, but I don’t have gonorrhoea, I swear.’
‘Max…’
‘I’ll be honest, I do have HPV. But everyone’s got that one, haven’t they?’ Max said wildly.
Natalie couldn’t help but laugh. ‘It’s not about that. I’m just… I don’t know, I can’t explain it.’
Max sighed and leaned back against the stall wall. ‘Shit,’ she muttered.
‘Come on, I’m sure you could go back out into the bar and find someone else inside of ten minutes if you wanted.’
Max shrugged. ‘I’m kind of bored of that.’
‘Bored of what?’
Max shrugged. ‘The whole hook up thing.’
‘You weren’t bored when you had that threesome,’ Natalie pointed out.
‘Actually, I was a bit,’ Max admitted. ‘I ended up sitting in a chair looking at my phone while they carried on. I read an article about how corduroy’s making a comeback.’
Natalie was astounded. ‘Then why do you keep it up, the whole player thing? If you’re not that into it?’
‘Well, I liked how much it wound Steph up. And also, I don’t know, I feel like if I admit I came here to find love, people are going to laugh.’
Suddenly, Max looked like a little girl. It touched Natalie to see it. ‘Why would anyone laugh? It’s what everyone’s here for, in some form or another.’
‘I know you’re right. I guess I just felt safer doing things this way.’
Natalie shook her head. ‘Oh, Max. You poor thing.’
‘See? That’s exactly what I don’t like. Now you think I’m all… vulnerable. Gross.’
Natalie touched Max’s shoulder. ‘Is there anyone you actually like?’
‘Yeah. You.’
Natalie felt awful. She’d thought Max was all about feelings-free fun. But Max was as much of a bumbling romantic as she was, underneath it all. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realise.’
‘I’ve been telling you all week,’ Max said, irritated. ‘I used the word fate for Christ’s sakes.’
‘Before you shagged half the boat,’ Natalie reminded her.
‘I’ve only had three. Or maybe four, not sure whether to count one because we fell off the diving board before I could finish,’
Max said. ‘But anyway, I thought you knew I was just working up to you. You were my endgame.’
‘Max, that’s not how you romance someone.’
‘Well shit, I don’t know how to do that!’
‘Then learn for the next woman you like.’
Max looked thoughtful. ‘Actually… there might be someone else. But I kind of thought it wasn’t gonna fly. So I thought maybe you… Not that you were second choice!’
Natalie had been downgraded from endgame to safety net in less than a minute. Max needed to get herself checked for ADHD. But this was better. Max’s feelings didn’t run that deep after all. Natalie was freed from guilt. ‘Who is it?’
‘Err, Isabella?’
Natalie smiled and nodded. ‘Right. She’s cool.’
‘Yeah, she is. And she’s always giving people shit. I kind of like it. I feel like she wouldn’t let me get away with anything.’
‘You’re right about that,’ Natalie told her firmly.
Max grinned nervously. ‘Can I ask you a favour, though? Can I tell people we did it?’
‘Of course you can’t!’ Natalie exclaimed.
‘Please? I’m gonna lose so much face if people know you knocked me back.’
‘You’re not going to lose anything. You’ve got to stop thinking like that,’ Natalie said. ‘And I’ll tell you what, the bullshitting is not going to cut it with Isabella. She’s very into honesty.’
‘Is she?’ Max said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. ‘Honesty? I don’t know if that’s gonna work.’
‘Your call, Max. But that’s her. You try to game her, you won’t make it very far. And me and her are sort of friends, anyway. You really think she’s gonna go for you if she thinks we did it?’
Max looked genuinely shocked. ‘Are you kidding? If I only slept with people who hadn’t slept with anyone I knew, I’d literally never have sex.’
Natalie laughed. ‘Well, do as you please. But if you’re serious about her, you might need a rethink on your approach.’
Max sighed. ‘This love shit is hard.’
‘I think it’s supposed to be,’ Natalie said. ‘Otherwise, what’s the point?’
Max nodded. ‘Thanks for that. Hey, do you think you could put in a good word for me with Isabella? Since you’re tight.’
‘What should I say? That we nearly had sex and then you decided she was the one for you?’
‘Isn’t that romantic?’ Max asked, deadly serious.
‘Max, you’re a serious one-off,’ Natalie said, laughing and letting herself out of the toilet. She went back to her room, still amused. Until she was alone. And then she remembered why she’d been trying to have sex tonight. To forget someone who was almost certainly not just trying.
***
The next morning, Natalie was first down to breakfast. Second was Max, sliding in next to her, holding a croissant. ‘Morning.’
‘Hi. Get laid last night?’ she asked casually.
‘Nope. I had five more drinks and went to bed, like a good girl.’
‘Very saintly,’ Natalie said, pouring an orange juice from the jug on the table. The line at the buffet was too long, she was hanging on until it thinned out a bit.
‘I feel absolutely shocking. That tequila is evil stuff,’ Max said, getting her own OJ and sipping it gingerly.
Caz and Saz turned up, not as exuberant as usual. Natalie wondered if the argument about Saz’s bowels had followed them back to their room. Or rooms? The possibilities of their relationship to each other hadn’t been narrowed remotely.
Florence and Beatrice arrived next. Beatrice was holding Jonty, so Natalie knew their evening on the observation deck had gone well. Next came Mary, looking quite pleased with herself, and Natalie knew the answer to her question before she asked it. ‘How was your date?’
‘It was good. I’m going to see her later.’
‘Good for you,’ Max said, raising a juice to Mary.
‘Thank you, Max, very kind,’ Mary said, tickled.
Max blinked and rubbed at her left eye. ‘Oh man, this always happens when I drink too much. My eyes twitch.’
Isabella showed up next, followed swiftly by Angelique. ‘Where’s your new squeeze?’ Natalie asked as Angelique sat down.
Angelique shook her head. ‘I’m trying to slow this one down a bit. But I definitely think she’s the one.’
‘More than the other one who was the one?’ Florence asked dryly.
Angelique smiled. ‘Oh, way more potential. It’s a real connection this time. I don’t know what I was thinking with, er…’ Angelique fell into a thousand-yard stare as she tried to remember her former love’s name.
‘I think her name was Karen,’ Beatrice said.
‘No, it was Lauren, I’m sure of it,’ Mary said.
‘Yep, Lauren,’ Angelique agreed. ‘Or wait. Laura?’
Isabella rolled her eyes. Natalie suppressed a smile, noticing that Max was not looking at Isabella. But it was a very pointed avoidance. She couldn’t believe she’d missed this crush.
Eden appeared at the table. She gave Natalie a shy smile and a wave. She didn’t acknowledge anyone else. Natalie wasn’t sure what to make of it, but she smiled back without thinking, she couldn’t help herself. Then she wondered where Maggie was, and her smile faded.
Max, looking a bit green around the gills, said to Natalie, ‘I’m going up for coffee. Want one?’
Natalie wasn’t hungover, so she was happy with her OJ. ‘I’m fine.’
Max stood and said, ‘Well, I need one after last night,’ and then she blinked one eye again.
‘Well, well,’ Angelique said. ‘Looks like Max finally got her woman.’
Eden got up and went to the pancake station as Max laughed, rubbing her dodgy eye, and said quickly, ‘Nat and me? Oh no. Just mates.’ She didn’t look at Isabella as she said it, but it was quite clear that Max had been quick to deny for her benefit.
‘So is everyone going to that deserted island today?’ Saz asked the group.
‘It’s hardly deserted,’ Caz corrected her. ‘There’s a bar on it for god’s sakes.’
‘I just meant, it’s not inhabited, is it?’ Saz said defensively.
‘According to the pamphlet, no one can live there because it’s too small. Just room for a bar and a pool, and a cruise liner full of tourists,’ Steph said, sitting down, her usually neat hair a touch messy.
‘Is it my imagination or do you stink of sex?’ Max asked her.
Steph grinned. Max high fived her. ‘The one with the…’ She made a cupping gesture.
‘Yeah, that one,’ Steph nodded.
‘Very nice.’
Natalie smiled to see Steph and Max, not at each other’s throats for a change. And then she looked across the room and saw Maggie and Eden sitting together, having a post-coital breakfast. It was perfectly clear to her at that moment that she was not going to find anyone on this ship. She liked Eden, and that wasn’t happening. She wasn’t going to forget her by distracting herself with other women either. The only thing to do was wait for the feeling to pass. And to stop looking at this cruise as somewhere love could ever spring up. It was just a holiday, nothing more. She couldn’t change her life this way, her sister had it totally wrong. Not really a surprise, Sally was wrong about a lot of things, simply because she was too sure she was right to ever really think properly about anything. Natalie had to remember that it was the one dependable thing: Sally was always wrong.
‘So who’s going to the Island, then?’ she asked the group. Everyone replied that they were in. Natalie was pleased. This was also dependable, this odd grouping of people. They were tied together until they all docked back in Southampton and hopefully beyond. She’d like to keep in touch with some of them if only to keep tabs on the continuing drama of their love lives. It was a story too good to miss. Not like her story, which zipped from comedy to tragedy and back again most days. But it was never a love story, that was for damn sure.
Twenty-Four
>
Eden boarded the transport boat, one of several leaving the cruise liner headed for the tiny island off the coast of Spain for some private beach fun. Eden was back with the main group, though keeping her distance from several of its members for obvious reasons. She was still in shock about Natalie and Max. She was sure the real threat had been Isabella, that Natalie wouldn’t fall for Max’s sleazy deal. But there they were, chatting at the front, thick as thieves.
