by Natasha West
Eden had a point there. ‘It wasn’t about you, OK? It’s… I’m just kind of… I’m not good with people.’
Eden’s mouth hung. ‘What are you talking about? You’re like the most respected person in our office.’
‘Respected?’ Natalie repeated.
‘Yeah. When you speak, everyone shuts up to listen. You’ve never noticed that?’
Natalie shook her head. She didn’t like this, didn’t buy it. Eden telling her she thought her body was something to be envied, that she was some figure of esteem. ‘Are you… Is this what you do, tell people what they want to hear?’
Eden looked briefly offended and then tried to laugh it off. ‘Well, there it is. The infamous wall.’
Natalie didn’t know what to say to that. Or in general. The thing was, Eden had her pegged. She always had. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Yeah, you said that a minute ago. And here we are again. I don’t want to keep going around this merry-go-round. Why don’t we just be honest, admit you can’t stand me. I think that would be easier.’ Eden stood.
Natalie watched Eden walk off. She felt torn. There was something she wanted to say, but she wasn’t sure if she should. After all, it broke the unspoken agreement they had, not to talk about what had happened at the beginning of the week. But as Eden got farther away, Natalie found herself jumping to her feet. ‘Eden, do you think I would have slept with you if I couldn’t stand you?!’ she yelled at Eden’s back.
Eden stopped walking, but she didn’t turn. ‘I don’t know why you did that. But clearly, it didn’t mean anything to you, so it doesn’t prove much.’
Was Eden calling her some kind of unfeeling sociopath? Well, that was bloody rich. ‘Oh, was I insensitive? Were your feelings hurt? Because it took you about a day to jump on Maggie.’
Eden turned slowly. ‘Maggie?’
‘Didn’t think I knew, did you?’
Eden put her hands on her hips and gave Natalie a hard look. ‘Jesus, who the hell are you to talk?’
‘Hell’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You and Max? Or hang on, is it you and Isabella? Hard to keep up.’
A shocked laugh fell from Natalie’s lips. Eden thought she’d been making the rounds. Natalie was pleased about that. It made her feel less pathetic for bringing up Maggie. As far as Eden knew, she’d been getting on with business, having fun. Certainly not pining or anything. That was better, the lie. Much less embarrassing. ‘Yeah, sure, I’ve been having some fun for a change.’ And then Natalie had the perfect finishing move to kill Eden where she stood. ‘Weird that you noticed, though.’
Unfortunately, Eden seemed to have a block for Natalie’s move ready to go. ‘No weirder than you noticing Maggie and me.’
That threw Natalie, but for only a moment. ‘Who could have missed it? You dragging her out of the dining room? Not exactly subtle, Eden.’
Eden shook her head. ‘Well, I didn’t…’ Eden stopped. ‘This is pointless. I’m not doing this. I don’t know why we’re even arguing like this.’
That stopped Natalie short. How the hell had this happened? Why was she standing here yelling like some teenager? She didn’t do this. She let things go. Or maybe that wasn’t quite right. Maybe it would have been more accurate to say she sat on things. But the end result was the same. Locked lips about feelings. Because it never did you any good. Look at that last conversation with Gabby. If she’d been more explicit, would it have ended with her getting what she wanted? Of course not. All she would have lost was her last scrap of dignity. Talking around it had been precisely the smart way to play things. It was always the smart way to play things. Keep your trap shut.
Only now, Natalie was standing on this beach, yelling about Maggie. This was not smart. She was only embarrassing herself. ‘You’re right. This is stupid. Have at it with Maggie. You make a great couple,’ Natalie said sardonically.
‘And I’m sure you and Max will be happy too. Or Isabella, whoever,’ Eden spat at her.
‘Yeah. Maybe we’ll all throuple up, you never know,’ Natalie tossed back.
‘That sounds lovely,’ Eden said snarkily.
‘Doesn’t it?’ Natalie said with all the bravado she could muster. But it wasn’t much. She was starting to feel silly. Who lied about their sex life like this? Absolute dickheads, that’s who.
Natalie felt that laser stare boring into her again, and she felt like Eden was starting to realise she was full of it. Eden gave a long, sad sigh and said, ‘Is that really true?’ and Natalie was pretty sure the game was up.
‘What do you mean?’ Natalie asked, playing for time.
‘I mean, is it really what you…’ Eden began and then stopped. ‘Never mind.’
‘Jesus, whatever it is, say it!’ Natalie exploded, taking a step toward Eden.
‘No, it’s… it’s not appropriate,’ Eden said, taking a step toward her.
‘Not appropriate?’ Natalie said, laughing. ‘Jesus Christ, just for once, stop trying to be so fucking correct all the time and say something real!’
Eden’s eyes blazed. She took two steps forward, and Natalie felt like she was about to get a slap around the face. But that’s not what she got. What she got was Eden’s lips on hers.
Natalie had been doing everything she could not to want this. But she did. She wanted it so badly. She didn’t even care what had compelled Eden to kiss her in the midst of this horrible row. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that it was happening again. They were falling back on the sand. Clothes were coming off, and soon they were naked, on the beach, intertwined. As Eden reached down and touched her, Natalie felt like she might go off immediately. She put her hand into the sand and grabbed a fistful, trying to keep the wolf from the door. But it was no good, Eden was too sexy, too good at this. ‘Oh my Christ,’ Natalie called to the sky as she came like a freight train. She lay there for a moment, panting and shocked. As her heart began to return to a normal pace, Eden moved off her, collected her clothes and got dressed. She sat back down next to Natalie. Natalie had her breath back now, and she sat up too, grabbing her clothes and getting dressed.
They sat in silence for a minute, looking out at the sea. And then Natalie had to ask the only question that existed anymore. ‘Why does this keep happening?’
Eden turned in the near dark. ‘You tell me.’
Natalie thought she might be ready to give Eden a true answer. Until she realised that Eden wasn’t looking at her. She was looking past her. Natalie turned around to follow her gaze and there it was. A boat. Rescue.
Twenty-Eight
Eden was shocked shitless about what had just happened. Her and Natalie in an argument, leading straight to quick, passionate sex. All that screaming – both kinds - had been pushing her down a crazy path. Because that question, ‘Why does this keep happening,’ it had a pretty obvious answer. She suddenly thought that she didn’t care if she looked stupid because hell, at this point, she already did, yelling like an idiot, grabbing ahold of Natalie and throwing her down, losing every ounce of control she worked so hard to maintain. What was there to lose if she just told the truth? She’d nearly done it, nearly asked if Natalie really cared about those others or was she just wasting time? Almost told her that she and Maggie were nothing. She wanted to say that the reason they were nothing was that she couldn’t get her mind off Natalie.
Thank god that boat had shown up. It distracted Eden from that crazy little ledge she was standing on long enough to step back before she jumped.
The boat docked at the jetty, and a woman in a hat with ‘Helmswoman Kathy’ across the top in big letters jumped off, shouting, ‘Sorry! Sorry! We’re so sorry!’ She kept running, panting by the time she reached the pair of them. ‘Please don’t sue. Please don’t sue.’ Kathy stopped, leaning over to catch her breath.
Eden stood. ‘I’m not suing.’
‘No, me neither,’ Natalie told the breathless woman, standing up too.
The woman stood back up, holding a hand to her ch
est. ‘Really? Thank god. We really can’t afford another suit right now. It would sink us. Maybe literally.’
‘What’s the other suit?’ Eden asked.
The woman gave a nervous laugh. ‘Other suit? There’s no other suit.’
‘You just said it, we both heard you,’ Natalie said.
‘No, no other suit. Our food is fresh, that woman caught botulism before she came on the ship.’ She giggled again. ‘I didn’t mean that. There’s no woman with botulism. I’m drunk. No, wait, I’m not drunk. I would never be drunk and in charge of a watercraft.’ She laughed again, uproariously. ‘Right, let’s get you two back, shall we?
***
The helmswoman babbled all the way back to the ship while Eden and Natalie sat in the cockpit with her. She vowed that they would get room upgrades, free drink packages, free fluffy robes, anything she could think of. Eden wanted her to shut up. She couldn’t think. She needed to think. She needed to replay what had just happened so she could figure out how bad it really was.
She glanced at Natalie, sitting on the opposite side of the cockpit, looking out at the water. She never made eye contact the entire ride back.
***
When they got back on board, the whole gang was there to greet them. Caz and Saz nearly tackled them with excitement. ‘Are you two alright?’ they burbled in unison.
‘Fine,’ Eden said.
‘Great,’ Natalie added.
Maggie raced over. ‘Sorry, I should have noticed you were gone!’
Eden raised an eyebrow, ready to castigate her for being so distracted by a hot girl that she’d let her friend get stranded. But then she could feel Natalie watching her, and she slipped her arms around Maggie in a warm hug. ‘You’re forgiven.’
‘Oh. Okaaaayyyy,’ Maggie said, allowing the hug awkwardly.
Eden watched from her peripherals as Max went to Natalie, grabbing her desperately by the shoulders. ‘I was the one that sounded the alarm. You didn’t show up for dinner, which isn’t like you, so me and Isabella went to your room, we searched the whole ship. Then we realised we hadn’t seen you since volleyball, and we demanded the staff send out a search party just in case.’
Isabella, hanging back with the group, said, ‘The staff was hammered today. Doesn’t take a genius.’
‘Thank you, both,’ Natalie said sincerely. ‘Who knows how long we’d have been stuck there if you weren’t on the case.’
‘Yeah, thank you,’ Eden said, trying to keep any resentment from creeping into her voice. No one had noticed her disappearance, only Natalie’s. ‘Come on, you owe me a drink,’ Eden said to Maggie, dragging her away from the group. After a few steps, Maggie cleared her throat with embarrassment. ‘Actually, I’m sort of supposed to meet someone.’
Eden tutted, though she was glad they were out of earshot for the comment that would have quickly exposed her to Natalie as a sad liar. ‘The same someone you were chatting up at the pool, I take it?’
‘Her name’s Rebonka.’
‘What?’
‘Rebonka,’ Maggie repeated as though it were normal. ‘Her parents named her Rebecca, middle name Onka. Her dad’s Japanese. Or Swedish? I forget. Anyway, she thought it would be cooler to combine them into a name no one else had.’
‘She’s certainly done that. I don’t think I’ve ever met a, err, Rebonka.’
‘You think I can’t hear the sarcasm. But I can,’ Maggie said with a grin. ‘But look, when you get to know her, she’s… Well, she’s a bit young and flighty. But that kind of works because she thinks I’m actually impressive.’ Maggie took a deep breath. ‘I know it’s only been a few hours, but I just get this feeling about her.’
Eden chortled. ‘As long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you,’ she said. ‘But unless you want to be the new Angelique, I’d recommend waiting a week before you propose.’
‘Good tip,’ Maggie said.
‘Right, well, I’m tired. I’m going to bed.’
‘Me too,’ Maggie said with a wink.
Eden rolled her eyes and smiled at Maggie, who strode off with a bounce in her step. How simple it all was for Maggie. She took what she could get and was happy with it. Eden wished she could be more like that. That she could have just taken the first offer, got with Steph at the beginning, and called it a day. Instead, she was trying not to notice Natalie talking to Max, laughing and chatting and pleased to be together.
Twenty-Nine
Natalie tried not to stare at Eden and Maggie, reunited and going off together. Luckily, Max had distracting news. ‘You have no idea the solid you’ve done me. I’ve finally cracked it.’
Natalie raised an eyebrow. ‘Oh, you and Isabella actually…’
‘Yeah!’ Max said, too excited to even let Natalie get to the end of her sentence. ‘Whilst we were Jessica Fletcher-ing around the ship, we ended up snogging.’
‘Well, that’s the whole reason I got stranded on that island,’ Natalie told her. ‘To get you together.’
Max’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Wow. Really?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ Natalie said. ‘How did you not see that I wasn’t on your boat?! I was with you all day.’
‘Sorry, buddy,’ Max said with a look to Isabella, leaning over the railing and looking into the water, disinterested now. ‘Had the love goggles on.’
Natalie rolled her eyes. ‘Jesus.’
‘She still keeps being rude to me, but it’s just too fucking hot, you know what I mean?’ Max said.
‘Not really, but whatever blows your skirt up,’ Natalie said. ‘Good luck to you.’
‘Anyway, I’m trying to get her to go on a date with me tonight, and she says she might, but I’ve still got some work to do on that,’ Max said, already taking steps back from Natalie. ‘So, if you’re alright…’
‘Go on. Go,’ Natalie said. ‘Good luck.’ She glanced at Isabella. ‘You’re gonna need it.’
‘I know. It’s brilliant,’ Max said, turning and skipping over to Isabella, who said, ‘Even if we go for a drink, don’t think we’re going to sleep together tonight.’
Max looked sick about that, but said, ‘It never even crossed my mind.’
Natalie shook her head and joined the rest of the gang milling about on the deck. Every night was the same, booze and drama. Well, better everyone else’s drama than her own. What she’d just done on that beach became more upsetting by the moment. What the hell was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she stop being other people’s sex dolls? She’d just left the UK vowing that what had happened with Gabby wouldn’t happen to her anymore, that she was going to find someone who really wanted her. But she’d only graduated to letting Eden do the same. And it was so much worse. Because Eden wasn’t Gabby. She wasn’t an emotionally stunted semi-alcoholic that Natalie had met on a dating app. She was Natalie’s boss and… well, she was Eden. She was just something else.
Natalie felt like you met two or three Edens in your life, and if you had any sense, you didn’t try to touch them. You kept punching your weight. Or you got knocked on your arse. Natalie felt like she was always down there, sat on the canvas with a bloody nose, a punch-drunk loser in love. She didn’t know how not to be. Because she’d touched Eden twice now. She was officially a total bloody idiot.
‘So what’s the plan for the evening?’ she asked the remainder of the gang, trying to care.
‘You’re just in time for karaoke!’ Caz screamed.
‘Great,’ Natalie said with a fake smile.
Thirty
The boat docked in Spain the next day, in Barcelona, and everyone trooped off together, the full twelve of them in attendance, with some additions. Steph, Mary, Angelique, and Maggie had all brought along new ‘friends.’ Eden didn’t have the energy to get to know them. Particularly when it came to Angelique’s newest squeeze, who probably wouldn’t last the day. She was pretty sure she’d heard Florence refer to her as ‘Number Three.’
Eden just hoped that Maggie kept the PDA to a minimum with Rebonka.
Though she hadn’t exactly said she and Maggie were an item, she’d let Natalie believe it. It had provided comfort in the moment when they’d been arguing about Max. But she was pretty sure that story had a limited shelf life. It was going to come out at some point, it had to. They were all spending the day running around Barcelona. Natalie wouldn’t be able to miss the fact that Maggie was loved up with the girl with the daft name. It was screaming out.
They hit the Picasso Museum first, suggested by Mary. It wasn’t to everyone’s taste, but in such a big group, you weren’t going to please them all. So they decided to make it a democracy and Picasso got a majority vote. Eden was pleased. She was feeling a bit starved in the culture department. The boat felt like it was descending further by the day into a void of booze and sex. She needed to detox.
