by Jodi Redford
“Kev.” He blinked, half expecting his best friend to vanish. Or morph into someone else. Maybe Jana’s addictive kiss had drugged him and he was fucking hallucinating. He grunted at the weird thought.
Rather than disappear, Kevin remained rooted in place. His expression was probably identical to the one Nick wore. Jaw slackened in apparent disbelief, Kev whipped his attention between Jana and Nick, his face going red before paling. When his focus steadied on Jana again, the look in his eyes was equal parts tortured and aroused.
A cold trickle of dread splintered through Nick, cracking him free of the stunned bemusement holding him hostage. He didn’t want to acknowledge the horrible suspicion slowly creeping through his bones, much less verify what his instincts were screaming. Because if what he suspected was true…fate just knocked him clean out with one hell of a curveball.
Unable to postpone the inevitable, he glanced in Jana’s direction. She was staring at Kevin, her fingers pressed to her lips. Lips that so sweetly returned Nick’s kiss seconds ago but were now trembling because of another man. There was no mistaking the hurt and confusion radiating from her in massive waves, adding to the damning evidence already piling up. The repercussions of it slammed into him with more impact than a Mack Truck.
Kevin was the dick for brains.
Fuck. Me.
Chapter Four
Kevin gaped at Jana and Nick. It took several moments to realize his overactive imagination hadn’t conjured the fantasy that’d tormented him for the past few days.
“Kev?”
Nick’s baritone broke through Kevin’s trance. They locked gazes, and he read the wary uncertainty in Nick’s eyes. A lifetime ticked by. Every tense word they’d exchanged five years ago echoed inside his head with excruciating clarity. Countless times since then he’d wished for an opportunity to take them back, but now that he and Nick were standing face-to-face, the words refused to budge loose.
A distressed noise slipped from Jana as she dropped her hand. He noticed her rosy, kiss-swollen lips, the visual of Nick’s tongue in her mouth playing like a hypnotic reel through his memory. The sight of them kissing had hit him harder than a fist to his gut, even while his cock swelled to life. He didn’t know which of the two sensations disturbed him more.
“Do…do you two know each other?” Jana demanded. Her voice hitched with a shaky thread of bewilderment.
“Yeah, we do,” Nick replied, beating him to the punch. Shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat, Nick stepped forward, his expression still bearing that hint of trepidation while he focused on Kevin. “Good to see you.”
“Is it?” The question blurted free before he could stop it. A taunting barrage of those long-ago, not-so-forgotten angry words he and Nick hurtled at each other once again shouted inside his brain.
A flicker of some dark emotion skated across Nick’s features. The ghosts were there for him too. “Yeah, it is.” Somberness had replaced Nick’s typical grin, but his gruff sincerity left no doubt that he meant it.
A fraction of the tension eased from Kevin. At least until he glanced back at Jana. Then it returned with a vengeance.
What the hell was Nick doing here? And why had he been kissing Jana? Okay, that wasn’t too difficult to figure out. What red-blooded male wouldn’t kiss Jana if the opportunity presented itself?
Nick dragged a hand across his jaw, drawing Kevin’s attention to the five o’clock scruff growing there. That was new—Nick going for anything other than the suave, Greek-playboy look. The shadows under his eyes were new too. As were the haggard lines etched into his forehead. “This isn’t exactly how I pictured our reunion going, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers, eh?”
He blinked at Nick’s matter-of-fact tone. “Did you come here looking for me?”
“Amongst other things.” Nick’s attention drifted in Jana’s direction. A flare of heat simmered in his eyes before he carefully banked it. A blush crept across Jana’s cheeks as she tore her gaze from Nick’s.
The opposing tugs of envy and arousal competing for supremacy within Kevin made his teeth grind. He’d been the one to push her away. He had no right to these pangs of jealousy. Clearing his throat, he took a surreptitious step toward the exit. “Obviously I’m interrupting something here.” He forced himself to look Jana in the eye. “I’ll call you later.”
Ignoring the muffled curse that sprang from Nick, Kevin pivoted and strode through the doorway. He didn’t even make it to his SUV before Nick’s censorious voice hauled him short. “Still running, I see.”
His muscles tightening in preparation of the argument brewing on the horizon, he turned to face Nick. “Is that why you came looking for me? To beat a dead horse into the ground?”
“No, I came to apologize.” Nick’s fierce expression softened. “And because I miss my best friend.”
A familiar pain pinched his heart. Nick was the brother he’d wished for during those loneliest periods of his childhood. It still shamed him the way he’d walked out on their friendship. They say you always hurt the ones you love most. He was living proof of that, time after time.
Hunching his shoulders against the bracing wind howling through the lot, Nick stepped down from the curb and joined him next to the driver’s side door. “We shouldn’t have left things the way we did.”
Kevin’s focus involuntarily trekked to the window of Jana’s shop. He could see her pretending to rearrange lingerie on one of the racks while she covertly watched them. The taunting image of her and Nick locked in their passionate embrace refused to give his mind a rest. He returned his scrutiny to Nick. “I take it things didn’t work out with you and Heather.”
“I told you it wouldn’t. There was nothing there between us without you. At least not for me.”
Renewed shame cycloned in his gut. It was bad enough he’d hurt Heather on his own. If he’d never introduced her to Nick, she wouldn’t have suffered through two heartbreaks. He couldn’t fault Nick for bowing out of the relationship after he left. Nick had never been anything but honest about his feelings for Heather. Hell, he’d reiterated during their fight five years ago that he didn’t have it in him to return Heather’s love, but Kevin had been too haunted by his own demons at the time to accept that truth.
Nick glanced over his shoulder toward the shop. “You’re doing it all over again, aren’t you? Running from someone who’s getting too close.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Drop the bullshit act. I fucking know you better than you know yourself.” Lines of frustration bracketed Nick’s mouth. “Jana’s in love with you. You know that, right?”
The queasiness in his stomach intensified.
Nick blew out a heavy breath. “Of course you do. Which explains why you’re pushing her away.”
“I’m not discussing this with you.”
Nick continued to wear his bulldog expression. “You’ve fallen for her, and it scares the shit out of you.”
“Goddamn it, I told you I’m not doing this.” He reached for the Navigator’s door handle.
“She’s not Heather. Or Madison.”
The mention of that last name delivered a more biting slap than the subzero windchill. He kept his focus pinned to the cold metal handle within his grip and willed the taunting whispers of his inner demons into submission. The bitter residue of his tainted past was a rancid taste in the back of his throat. “I know that.”
“Do you? For shit’s sake, man. When are you going to stop letting that bitch destroy your happiness?”
Without saying a word, he yanked open the door and climbed inside his vehicle. Nick grabbed the edge of the door before Kevin could slam it shut. “I didn’t come here to fight with you. Or talk about Madison.”
Clenching his keys in his fist, Kevin tore his attention from the windshield and glared at Nick. “Good. Because I don’t want to hear her name pass your lips again. Ever.” He’d never been sorrier about revealing his painful secret to Nick in a moment of
drunken weakness back when they were in college. He knew Nick didn’t judge him for what had happened with Madison. If anything, Nick saw Kevin as the victim. But Nick also insisted that Kevin needed to exorcise the ugly demons of his past in order to heal. Kevin just wanted to forget.
Stubbornness furrowed Nick’s brow, but he didn’t argue. “I’m staying at the Townsend. I’d like it if we could get together before I head back to Chicago.”
Kevin frowned. “When did you move there?”
“Two years ago. There was nothing left for me in California, so I saw no point in staying.”
He glanced away from the accusation in Nick’s eyes. “I have tomorrow night off. We can meet then.”
A fraction of the mulishness eased from Nick’s features. He pulled his wallet from his coat pocket and removed a glossy business card. “My cell is the top number. Give me a call, and I’ll come pick you up from work.” After handing over the card, Nick released the doorframe, but not before delivering a final parting shot. “You’re crazy if you walk away from Jana.”
Setting his jaw, Kevin swung the door shut and keyed the ignition. Against his better judgment, his gaze sought out Jana. She still stood by the racks of lingerie, but she’d given up all pretenses of working and was instead staring at him with a mix of wistfulness and forlorn dejection.
A knife twisting in his chest, he backed out of the parking spot and beelined for the exit.
Chapter Five
Jana quickly returned to straightening the babydoll nightie hanging in front of her as Nick swung around and headed toward the entrance of the shop. Willing her fingers to stop trembling, she studiously pretended to be absorbed in her fake task. Somehow she managed to keep her eyes off the door when Woody’s laugh pealed free. Inside, she was a mass of frazzled nerves and nauseous anxiety. There’d been no mistaking Kevin’s stunned hurt when he’d walked in and seen her in Nick’s arms. For someone who didn’t want to get involved with her, he sure as hell had looked like he cared whether or not she played tonsil hockey with another man.
Well, he’d had his chance, damn it. She wasn’t going to wallow in guilt over kissing Nick. Squaring her shoulders, she lifted her head and watched Nick’s approach. Her attention fell on his mouth. Despite the grim line his lips were set in, her stomach still experienced flutters as she recalled the sensuous rasp of his tongue along hers. A corresponding beat echoed in her clit. Holy damn, he knew how to kiss. All that intensity and single-minded focus. Goose bumps broke ranks across her skin at the memory.
She could only imagine what he’d be like in bed. All too easily. Great. Like she needed that erotic fuel added to the sexy fantasies she already had about him.
He offered her a chagrined smile that made his features edge farther into the territory of devastatingly gorgeous. Detailed and explicit as her fantasies tended to be, they hadn’t come close to the reality of how breathtaking he was. She’d never thought she’d meet a man capable of giving Kevin a run for the money in the sexy department, but Nick sure as hell fit the bill. God, if she was ever treated to the sight of him naked, she’d probably orgasm on the spot.
His teeth flashing white against his olive complexion, Nick loosened the buttons he’d secured on his coat before he’d dashed outside after Kevin. “Sorry for rushing out like that.”
“It’s okay.” She fiddled with the nightie for a second before freeing the wrinkled fabric from her grasp. “So how long have you and Kevin known each other?”
“We were roommates in college.” He absently scuffed his shoe on the carpet. “And afterwards, up until five years ago.”
She chewed her lip. “Huh. He’s never mentioned you.”
“I’m not surprised.”
A lengthy silence stretched between them while she waited for him to elaborate. He didn’t. She tucked her thumbs in her rear pockets to keep from fidgeting. “I kind of get the impression things are strained between you guys.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d say that’s a good assessment.”
“Why?”
“It’s a long, complicated story.”
She rocked back on her heels and tried for a casual expression. “You can share it during dinner.”
He released a slow breath, the sound of it prodding the indignant butterflies in her belly into action, along with her exasperation.
“You are not about to back out on me.” Maybe saying it would make it so. She gave a silent snort. Yeah, right. She could read the writing on the wall, and what she saw there sucked.
“Jana, I still want you. More than ever, after that kiss.” The smolder in his dark cocoa-brown eyes authenticated his declaration.
Recalling the bone-melting kiss in question, she shivered. “Then what’s the problem?”
“That’s the problem.”
She frowned. “What, wanting me?”
“Hell yeah.”
“I don’t get it. Shouldn’t that be a good thing?”
“It would be if you weren’t in love with my best friend.”
She sucked a harsh breath between her teeth. “How…?” She mentally rewound to the moment when she’d broken away from Nick’s kiss and spotted Kevin standing shell-shocked in the doorway. Her shoulders slumped. No doubt her feelings for Kevin had been stamped across her face like a neon banner. It wouldn’t have taken much for Nick to put two and two together and conclude that Kevin was the guy she’d been stupidly pining for all these years. “It doesn’t matter. I already told you he doesn’t feel the same way about me.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
She squinted. “Take my word for it. I’ve all but stripped naked in front of Kevin, with little result.” Okay, not entirely on the mark. Her naughty-elf costume had delivered spectacular, orgasmic results. Unfortunately it’d been a one-time deal with no hope of a repeat performance.
Nick choked on a laugh. Stacking her hands on her hips, she glared at him. He swiped a hand over his mouth, trying without success to hide his grin. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. But obviously if you had paraded naked in front of Kevin, this conversation would be null and void. A voyeur faced with a gloriously naked you? Poor Kev wouldn’t have stood a chance.”
Shock spiraled through her at Nick’s pronouncement. She gaped at him, momentarily struck mute as she attempted to process the startling news he’d revealed. Finally she managed to find her tongue long enough to let one word escape, the most important of them all. “Voyeur?”
Nick blinked—twice—before mumbling “Shit” beneath his breath. He scrubbed at his mouth again. “I should have figured he wouldn’t come clean about that. Fuck.” His gaze turned beseeching. “Let’s pretend I didn’t say anything.”
“No way. You think I can just forget something like that?”
Kevin. A voyeur. How many times had she all but flashed the goods at him and he’d barely responded to the bait? Even when she’d worn the naughty-elf costume, she’d had to pretty much jump him in order to break through his resistance. For all she knew, that had been a pity orgasm he gave her.
Prickling anxiety creeping up her spine, she nibbled on her thumbnail and glanced at Nick. That proved to be a mistake when the butterflies began mamboing. He was right about one thing at least. Their mutual attraction was a big ole complicated mess.
Smothering a groan, she cleared off the corner of the nearby display of thongs and bikinis and plunked her butt down. She ran a hand down her face before taking another risky peek at Nick. How many freakin’ people existed on this planet, and she had to go and develop feelings for best friends who had some kind of falling out…over God knows what? She caught her bottom lip between her teeth.
A sharp, hissing breath leaked from Nick. “Jesus. You’re killing me.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Yes, you are. All you have to do is fucking breathe and my dick reacts.” He slid a desperate glance toward his briefcase.
Interpreting that gesture as a possible attempt at escape, she quickly aba
ndoned the table. “Please, don’t leave. I…I’m really tired of constantly being walked out on.”
Sympathy overtaking his features, Nick shifted toward her, the subtle movement diffusing her tension. “It isn’t you he’s running away from. It’s himself. It’s always been that way.”
She grimaced. “Isn’t that the clichéd line he’s supposed to feed me? Baby, it’s not you, it’s me?”
“In Kev’s case, it’s the truth. He has…intimacy issues. They make it hard for him to truly lower his guard enough to let people in.”
It was her turn to blink. “Intimacy issues. How do you know—?” Her mouth dropped open. “Were you guys lovers?” The notion probably shouldn’t have intrigued her as much as it did.
Nick’s dark eyebrows slashed upward. “Fuck no.” A rumbling laugh broke from him. “Shit, I’d pay to be a fly on the wall if you posed that to Kev. He’d probably drag you into bed just to prove he doesn’t have designs on my ass.”
If she thought she’d have a prayer of that happening, she’d gladly ask Kevin if he wanted to ball the entire defense line of the Detroit Lions. “Then mind explaining how you know about his alleged intimacy issues?”
Nick cleared his throat before his gaze darted up and to the right, a sure sign of someone with a big, fat, hairy lie in the prep stage. “He told me.”
“Ha!” She shook a finger at him. “Bull. Shit. We both know Kevin isn’t the sharing type.”
Nick choked on another cough.
Narrowing her eyes, she dropped her arm. “There’s something you’re not telling me.” Crossing her ankles, she leaned against the edge of the table and studied Nick. “If you don’t come clean, I’m going to assume you were lying about the two of you playing hide the salami together.”
Silence descended in the wake of her verbal gauntlet. Just when she thought he was going to consign himself as Kevin’s love bunny rather than tell her the real story, he gusted a heavy breath and tweaked the bridge of his nose. “We shared women.”
