“You wanted to come up here alone. We get that, but you can’t just run off,” Knox told him firmly. “When you come out into the wild like this, you have to make sure someone knows where you are, and when you will be back. That proves you are responsible. Otherwise, people have to come looking for you. If we hadn’t come, mountain rescue would have.”
“I told you I don’t need help.” Despite his objections, Dustin came into the kitchen and helped with dinner. He cut up bread and set out plates, while Hannah prepared the meal and Knox made coffee.
“Sometimes it takes a man to accept he needs help.” Knox passed a mug of coffee to Hannah.
“It does,” Hannah agreed. “Asking for help is not an admission of failure. You should take Knox’s advice.”
“I miss my dad so much,” Dustin admitted in a small voice.
“I know.” Hannah swallowed down her tears.
“That’s why I came up here. Not to worry anyone or to run away. I just wanted to feel close to him on his birthday.” Dustin swiped at the tears trickling down his cheeks.
Hannah placed the pan on one side and went to Dustin, gathering him up in her arms and giving him a big hug. “It’s OK, we all understand. It’s tough. This year is the toughest because it’s a year of firsts. Next year it will get easier, and the year after that.”
“I don’t want to forget him.” Dustin sniffed loudly.
“You won’t. He’ll always be here.” Hannah pointed to Dustin’s head. “And here.” She pointed to his heart.
“Thanks, Hannah.” Dustin looked up. “Thanks, Knox.”
“You are welcome.” Knox picked up the pan. “Let’s eat and get some sleep. We have quite a climb tomorrow.”
“Great, my legs are already aching,” Hannah admitted.
“A good night’s sleep and you’ll be good to go,” Knox assured her. “And then it’s all downhill.”
“That I’m looking forward to, but not as much as I am looking forward to these sausages and beans.”
“Let’s eat by the fire,” Dustin suggested. “I lit it with my flint and steel, just like my dad taught me.” He sighed heavily. “Do you promise to teach me what you know?”
“I sure do. Listen, I’m here for you. Whatever you need. Survival is my thing.” Knox thought of Hannah’s parents, of how they passed their skills on to their daughter.
“So you really were in the army?” Dustin asked as they settled down to eat.
“I really was.” Knox looked up and smiled at Hannah as she ate her food.
“I can’t wait to see this bear training,” Hannah admitted, giving Knox a wink and a smile.
“I just can’t get it right,” Dustin admitted. “It’s right there and then it’s gone.”
“By the time we get back off this mountain, you’ll be an expert,” Knox promised.
“I hope so. Ross Vardy says I’m useless because I can’t shift.”
“The same guy who teased you over your dad?” Hannah asked.
Dustin paused, his fork midway to his mouth. “Yeah, he’s an asshole.” His eyes flicked up to meet Knox’s. “Sorry.”
“I think Hannah can handle an asshole.”
Hannah nearly choked on her food. “When we get back to Bear Creek, we’ll figure it all out between us.”
“You’re going to tell me to walk away, aren’t you?” Dustin asked. “That’s what my dad would tell me to do.”
“Sometimes you can walk away, sometimes you can’t,” Knox told Dustin.
“Life isn’t always black and white,” Hannah added. “But that’s for another day. Let’s enjoy this time on the mountain.”
“I’ll drink to that!” Knox raised his coffee cup, and was instantly reminded of the camaraderie he shared with his squad. They were slowly slipping away from him, the hurt of their deaths no longer so sharp. Just like Dustin, he would slowly forget them. And that was how it would have to be, if he wanted to live a full and happy life.
They would never be forgotten, but the sharp edges would slowly be worn down and rounded, until his other memories of them, happy memories, could shine through once more.
Chapter Thirteen – Hannah
Hannah woke in the bed she’d shared with Knox—to find him gone.
The sun filtering through the makeshift curtains told her it was early morning. Very early morning. Rolling out of bed, she grabbed her clothes, the smell of coffee on the air coaxing her to the kitchen. Pouring a cup, she took in her surroundings. Empty.
Where were they?
Hannah grabbed her jacket and put it on, walking to the front door, and pulling it open. The scene before her made the late-night climb worth it. The sun was rising up in the sky, casting its rays over the world before it. Mist rose from the ground, and birds ducked in and out of it, before rising higher to sit on the branches and sing their song.
A rustle in the undergrowth drew her outside, and she hung over the handrail to spot the animal causing the noise. Only to find Knox and a small bear.
“Morning.” Hannah walked down the steps and joined Knox. “He can change back, right?”
“He can. But it takes more effort. His bear is like a big kid and now that he’s been released, he doesn’t want to go back.”
“But you can get him back.” The promise made to Sandra was to take her son home, not a small bear.
“I can.” Knox turned his attention back to the bear. “Dustin, you have to focus inward, find the part of you that is human and let him come forth.”
The bear danced from side to side, as if there were some great internal struggle going on. Then the air fizzed and popped, static electricity filling the air. The bear shimmered out of existence for a few seconds, longer than when Knox shifted, and panic filled Hannah. What were they supposed to do if he never came back? Could Knox go in there and get him? Wherever there was?
“Here he comes,” Knox said proudly. And there he was: Dustin stood before them, triumphant.
“I can do it, Hannah. I’ve mastered the shift!” He came to them both and pulled them into a hug.
“That was amazing,” Hannah congratulated him.
“Wait until I show my mom. She was worried I’d never get it right, that it would rule me instead of me ruling it,” Dustin gushed.
“She’ll love to see you shift,” Hannah agreed. “Does that mean you want to go home?”
“After I’ve visited the place my dad died.” Dustin didn’t appear to be caught up in the emotion of the day as much as he had before. “Can we eat first?”
“Sure,” Knox said.
Dustin headed for the cabin, but Knox pulled her back into his arms. “Good morning, beautiful.”
“Does that mean I look terrible?” Hannah tried to smooth down her hair.
“Take the compliment.” He kissed her lips, and draped his arm around her shoulders, turning to face the new day. “This is an amazing place. We should come up here and camp for a few days, to get back to nature.”
Hannah raised her eyebrows. “Get back to nature? You mean, run around wearing a loincloth?”
“Who needs a loincloth?” Knox laughed and hugged her tight. “This has been good for me.”
“I can see that.” Hannah stroked his cheek. “You have a connection to Dustin. You’re good for him because you understand loss.” Her hand dropped to her side. “I love my life, I’ve been blessed. But how can I really empathize with people when I don’t know the same pain?”
“You don’t have to know pain. Not to empathize with them. What I love about you, Hannah, is that you don’t have that inner darkness.”
“Thanks.” She breathed in the cool morning air. Did he mean he actually loved her, or was it a flippant phrase? “This place is amazing. I didn’t know we’d climbed so high.”
Knox kept his arm around her as he turned her around and pointed into the distance. “That’s where we have to go.”
“Wow, that’s even higher.” The clouds hung around the peaks in the distance, and Hannah hoped they were not expecte
d to climb to the top.
“Not quite that high. The valley, there, can you see it?” Knox pointed and she tilted her head to follow the right direction.
“There. I see it.” Hannah nodded. “I can do that.”
“Good, we’ll eat and then get going. We need to get there and back by nightfall.”
“Can’t we sleep under the tarp?” Hannah asked.
“The sky is clear, tonight will be colder than last night. Dustin and I will be OK, but you will freeze.” Knox’s voice held a protective tone.
“I like a challenge.” They walked back to the cabin and the three of them ate a quick breakfast, and were back on the trail in an hour. They hoped to make it back to the cabin before nightfall, but took all their packs just in case.
“You never know what can happen.” Knox’s advice was all the more poignant since they were going to the site where the worst did happen. But there was nothing in Jamie’s backpack that would keep them safe from a landslide.
They walked on at a steady pace. Dustin spent half his time walking with them and the other half practicing his bear moves. He had it down to a fine art; the time it took him to shift was close to instantaneous. His pride grew, and so did Knox’s. He was like a daddy bear watching over his own cub, and Hannah soon found her thoughts switching to dreams of what it would be like to be a mom.
The pain and pleasure of being a parent were there in every case she saw as a social worker. Parents who did their best for their kids at a personal cost to themselves, and parents who put themselves before their own children. Hannah had seen it all.
Knox and Dustin showed a carefree friendship. They met each other on a level they both understood, Knox offering advice, Dustin taking it. Hannah’s heart wanted to burst with joy. Until she saw the steep trail they had to climb.
“Wow, that looks steep.” Hannah stood with her hands on her hips, gauging the amount of strength and energy it would take to get up to the top.
“Why don’t you wait here?” Knox asked.
“Are you kidding? I can do it.” She adjusted her pack. “Want me to go first?”
Dustin stepped forward. “I’ll go first.” His face was solemn as he looked at the steep trail. Ahead of them, not too much further, was the valley where his father had been crushed under a landslide.
“I’ll go last.” Knox held out his hand. “After you.”
Dustin sighed loudly and began to climb, a small scattering of stones tumbling down in his wake. Hannah followed, her muscles straining as she climbed. There was no turning back; they had to go on, for Dustin’s sake. Looking over her shoulder, she saw the same determination in Knox’s expression as he propelled himself forward, always there, ready to help her. If she slipped, his large hands reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her from falling, always there, always protecting her.
“I can see the top,” Dustin called back from some way ahead.
“Don’t get too far in front,” Hannah shouted in reply, urging her body to move faster.
“Take your time,” Knox warned her. “Once we’re at the top, there’s still approximately half a mile to walk.”
“What if he runs off?” Hannah replied.
“Then we’ll catch up with him. Or I’ll turn bear and catch up with him. Don’t worry. You just have to get to the top safely.”
Hannah nodded and concentrated on the climb, aware of the drop opening up beside them. It was a long way down, and she did not want to fall. One foot after the other she climbed, the top of the ridge getting closer, all she had to do was keep going, she had to reach the top.
“Keep going, you’re nearly there.” Knox was right behind her when she slipped; he reached for her, but her foot snagged on a large rock, sending her sprawling toward the edge. “Hannah!”
Knox reached out for her as her foot slipped over the edge of the trail. “Knox!” She stuck out her hand, reaching for him, but her fingers slipped through his, and she continued to slide.
“Hannah. Reach for my hand.” The panic in his face wrenched her heart, and she stretched out her hand, refusing to be another piece of his bad luck. He lunged forward and their fingers entwined. “Hold on.”
Hannah did more than hold on, she fought to gain a foothold, and when she did, she leveraged her body, pushing herself forward. “I’m OK.”
“I’ve got you.” Knox placed his hand under her arm and pulled, leaning back as he dragged her up. “I’m not going to lose you.”
“You won’t,” Hannah gasped as she lay by his side, regaining her breath.
Knox pulled her into his arms, his body shuddering as he held her so close she could barely breathe. “I’ve got you.”
“Knox, it’s OK, the drop wasn’t that far.” She was never in any real danger. Not really. A few scratches and scrapes, and she wouldn’t want to have to climb up here again. But Knox’s reaction was as if he thought he might truly have lost her.
“It’s my job to protect you.”
“I know.” She pulled back from him. “But I’m OK. Come on, let’s catch up with Dustin.”
Knox slowly came to life, and got to his feet, pulling her up to stand next to him. Without letting go of her hand, he climbed to the top of the trail. There, sprawled on the grass, was Dustin.
“Want a drink?” Dustin offered them some of his water.
“Thanks.” Hannah took the water bottle and took a good long drink.
Knox placed his pack on the ground and took out a couple of granola bars, which he offered to Dustin and Hannah. “Here, we need to keep our strength up.”
“I have something better.” Dustin pulled out two candy bars from his pocket. “They’re a little squashed.
“Thanks, Dustin.” Hannah took a candy bar. “This is just what I need.”
Knox pocketed the spare granola bars and opened one for himself before sitting down on the ground, his face still pale. “We should be there in less than half an hour.”
Dustin got up, his candy bar only half eaten. “Can we go? I want to get there as soon as I can.”
Hannah nodded. “We should rest for a few minutes, we’ll walk faster if we let our batteries recharge.”
“I could go on alone.” Dustin looked longingly into the distance.
“Deal was we go all together,” Knox said, back to his normal self.
Dustin accepted what Knox said and sat back down, eating his candy bar slowly. Hannah leaned back against her pack, the sun shining down on her face, letting go of the stress and tension in her muscles.
This unexpected journey might be what both these men needed.
Chapter Fourteen – Knox
He’d overreacted. When he saw Hannah slipping off the side of the trail, he’d panicked. Knox could not face the thought of losing someone else he cared for.
“How are you feeling now?” Hannah asked him as they walked along the trail behind Dustin.
“A little stupid.” Knox rubbed his hand over his hair. “Not exactly the strong, tough soldier.”
“I think you did OK. A little dramatic.” Hannah leaned into him. “But I understand, and I like that you care.”
“I do care. A lot. So much.” He gave a short laugh.
“Dustin likes you.” Hannah changed the subject, wanting to move on from the whole incident. “You’re good for him.”
“And he’s good for me.” Knox liked the boy.
“Glad you can see it too.” Hannah reached for his hand. “He could do with a father figure.”
“I’m not sure how good I’d be at being a father figure.”
“Why not? Your colonel was a father figure to you. He set you on the right path.”
“The army?” Knox shook his head. “I’m not sure that would be the right path for Dustin.”
“It doesn’t have to be the army. It might surprise you to know you don’t have to be in the army to make a difference.” She grinned and flashed her dimples.
“I get what you’re saying.” Knox looked up at the blue sky, glad
to be alive. A bittersweet smile spread across his face. His guilt was subsiding, joy in the little things life gave you for free was starting to seep back in, and he was OK with that. “Jamie mentioned there might be work for me with some guy called Will.”
“Will Frasier. Yes, he runs a project in Bear Creek, it’s expanding all the time. He’s always looking for new blood. I think you’d fit in there. I can give you a reference if you need one.”
“What kind of reference?”
“Good with his hands,” Hannah teased.
“Thanks.”
“OK, a good communicator, specifically with young teens who have experienced loss. Good at following orders. Loyal, courageous.” Hannah paused. “I think it would do you good.”
“Me too. Take my mind off myself.” Knox watched Dustin walking in front of them, his shoulders hunched. “I wish I could take Dustin’s mind off all this.”
“I think you can. But he needs to do this first. He needs closure.” Hannah walked in silence, watching Dustin. “Closure might be something you consider too.”
“What do you mean?” Knox was sure he wasn’t going to like it.
“Have you met the families of the men who died? Spoken to them?” Hannah asked gently.
“No. I told you I was a coward.”
“When you’re ready, you’ll know. And I’ll be there with you if you want me to.”
“I don’t deserve you, Hannah.” But he couldn’t live without her.
“Yes, you do.” She reached up and stroked his cheek, her thumb brushing his lips.
“This is it.” Dustin stopped. Approximately twenty feet in front of them, the path widened and forked to the left.
Knox and Hannah joined him, looking up at the mouth of the valley, where the rocks and dirt from the landslide had been piled high as they dug for Lex’s body.
“Is this close enough?” Hannah asked.
Dustin shook his head and reached into his pack. “I have something I want to lay there.” He reached into his pocket and drew out a shiny medal then turned to look at Hannah. “I’d like to go the rest of the way alone.”
“Sure, you go. We’ll wait here.” They both knew Dustin wouldn’t run, not this time.
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