by Yuriko Hime
"By all means," Doctor Sanders said. She stood to escort us to the door. "Remember that you have an appointment with me on Wednesday next week," she said to Uno.
"Yes, yes, I don't forget things like that."
"Where are you going now?"
Uno draped her arm around me. "I have a movie premier to attend at six in the evening, so Riri and I have to prepare for that." She glanced at her watch. There was plenty of time to go home and get dressed. "Afterwards, I'd like to take her for a date." The doctor and I raised our eyebrows. It was unusual to hear that term from Uno's mouth. "Give me a break," she said, seeing our reactions.
Doctor Sanders pushed us out of the door. "I don't want to interfere with your schedule. Just remember to call me if anything comes up. And congratulations on your movie. I heard everyone is excited to watch it."
Uno glanced at the Doctor over her shoulder. "Thank you Agnes, for everything. I mean it." I gave them a moment to acknowledge each other. If it weren't for the Doctor, we wouldn't be making this big progress, and when I said big, it was so much more than we were expecting.
Doctor Sanders nodded. "Thank me by being better. That's what every Doctor wants for her patient." She closed the door.
Uno and I exchanged glances. "I think you made her too happy," I said.
Uno took my hand and guided me to the hallway. "She deserved it. Imagine having me for a patient." I cringed. The Uno in the past would never have thought to say kind words to the Doctor, much less thank anyone for anything. She really have changed over the months that I've known her. I squeezed her hand to tell her that I understood what she was saying.
The elevator doors opened at the right moment. Bianca and Carter stepped out, looking as surprised as we were. "Ri," Carter said, grinning from ear to ear. "Long time no see dude."
"It's been years," I said with a roll of my eyes. We've just seen each other last night. We had a lot of things to catch up on.
I turned to Bianca and hugged her warmly. "I have an appointment with Doctor Sanders," she said. "Thanks for referring me. How about you guys?"
"Finished with ours," Uno said. Though she wasn't smiling, Uno wasn't glaring at anyone either. Baby steps for improvement, but improvement nonetheless. "Will you be there tonight for the premier?"
"You bet we are," Carter said.
Bianca pulled his ear. "She's talking to me." Carter mumbled a quick apology. "Who are you wearing?" Bianca said to Uno.
"It's supposed to be a secret, but let me give you a clue." Uno coaxed Bianca with a finger. They leaned closer to each other while Carter and I shrugged nonchalantly. "It's going to be a gown made by this super famous designer," she whispered. "I'm going to pay her with—" I didn't catch the rest of Uno's sentence, though I noticed Bianca's deep blush. They moved apart.
Carter mouthed to me, "See you tonight."
I nodded and nudged Uno with my elbow. "Are you done being secretive? Poor Doctor Sanders is probably waiting in her office for Bianca."
"We should probably get going then." She tilted her head as a way of saying goodbye to the two. I guess that part of Uno would stick around. If it was Blaze, she'd probably say something more, like be careful and whatnot. "Be safe," Uno said after a moment. She winked at me. This girl could still surprise me after all.
Back in Uno and Blaze's house, I decided to ask her something that has been bothering me since earlier. "What did you whisper to Bianca?" I said, trying to keep my curiosity from showing. Uno ignored my question and lead me to her room. "What are we doing here?" I asked.
We stopped in front of the painting. Uno lifted it with a grunt and put it aside, exposing the hidden door. She turned to me after punching in the code. "I told Bianca that I'll be repaying the designer of my gown with something kinky, so here we are." I gasped and took one step back. "Just kidding," she said. "Blaze is not the only one allowed to make jokes right?" Uno turned to the door and opened it.
The room was like I remembered, white, padded, and strange. It was overwhelming to go inside after not seeing it for months. After dealing with the psycho problem, we've stayed in the remote island for the shooting of the movie. Bianca was a big help back there. She assisted Uno and Blaze the first few weeks while I recuperated from my injuries. When the filming was done, promotion came next. It was a constant moving of locations and a lot of sleeping in hotel rooms. I've almost forgotten about this room, or tried to.
Uno and I sat on the padded floor. I couldn't read her eyes as she stared at me. "What are you thinking of?" I pried. "Let me in."
She sighed. "Prestuso."
I touched her face. "It's over. He's dead." Though I said it loud and clear, and I knew it to be a fact, somehow I wasn't convinced myself. My stomach rumbled, agreeing that I was still nervous.
"You still dream about it," Uno said guiltily. "The day that I killed him with these hands." She showed me her palms. "I'm not only disturbed, I'm a killer too."
I took her hand and placed it against my cheek. It was warm and made me feel safe. "You did it for me," I said. "If you could do it over, would you have done differently?" She shook her head. "Then don't feel guilty anymore. If the situation was reversed, I would have done the same."
Her eyes were raw with surprise. "You will?" I nodded silently. "But what about the case?" she said. "In a few weeks, the court will summon me. It will be all over the news. My past will be revealed." She sounded desperate. Ever since, Uno was deathly afraid of exposing the truth about herself to the public.
I pinched her nose and smiled in an effort to make her feel good. "How many times will I tell you that it won't happen? I'm here to protect you," I assured. "Mr. Meyer is a damn good lawyer. He and I can prove your innocence. And as for protecting your privacy, I've already talked to your parents about it. They will pay to keep everyone silent. Doctor Sanders and our friends will not say a thing. What are you so scared of?"
She hesitated. "More than anything, I don't want them to take you away from me, or me away from you." She stared around the room. I realized that what she was afraid of was being locked in a cell like this.
"You're not a threat," I said stubbornly. "Prestuso was different. That guy was super psycho. You're not like that. You will never be like that." I held Uno's face firmly. "We're getting near our goal aren't we? If not for integration, we can settle for co-existence, and as far as I can tell, you've accepted the others." She casted a downward look. "Is there something you're not telling me?"
She bit her lip. "I haven't said this to Doctor Sanders but sometimes—" She exhaled. "Sometimes I don't know who I am anymore." I took a sharp breath. Was she getting worse? "It's not like that," she said quickly. "What I meant to say was, sometimes my thoughts collide with Blaze. Since that night at Holy Angels, there are instances when I don't know if it's her or me who's thinking."
"Is that a bad thing?" I asked nervously.
"I don't know," she admitted. "But I don't want to lose myself."
I sighed and dropped my hands. "You won't. You'll just be you. A singular, complex you. And no matter what, I'll love the many you's." She didn't answer me with an I love you too. As her eyes became clouded, I knew that how she felt for me couldn't be expressed through words. I felt a yearning deep in my stomach. I've held on for so long. "What about Blaze?" I said.
"She approves," Uno said huskily. Those simple words made me reach out for her.
I tasted her scent before I smelled it. She was unusual. Out of this world. She was the rain, yet I was the one who ended up falling hard. I bit her lips and twirled my tongue with hers. She moaned in my mouth. "Not here," I said as she fumbled for my zipper. "Bedroom." She obliged by lifting me from the floor. Uno and I continued kissing as she walked us back to her room. We fell on the bed.
I scratched her back. "Ahhhh," she groaned. "I'm so turned on." I reached for her belt as she caressed me under my shirt. I hissed when she played with my chest.
One after another, our clothes disappeared. I drank in the sight of her f
ully naked on top of me. She was more beautiful than I've ever imagined. We were about to begin when she shuddered and moved away. "What's the matter?" I said, frowning. She wasn't about to stop now was she? I would go crazy. She quivered when I touched her shoulder. "Talk to me," I coaxed.
"Riess," she said in a small, voice. "I'm scared." She tried to shrink herself by curling on the bed. My heart went out for her. Erin hasn't shown herself in days. Usually, she'd just ask to play and go away. That was the part that astounded everyone, including the Doctor. That there was another personality. The original who kept their memories hidden.
I brushed her hair away from her face. "Shhhh," I said. "Don't be scared. It's just me." We've discovered through therapy that the personality, Erin, thought of herself as a nine year old child, and so I had to treat her as one. "I won't hurt you," I said. "Or Blaze and Uno. I love all of you remember?"
She nodded. "I love you too," she said.
"I know. Listen, Blaze, Uno, and I need to. . . Uhh. . . Talk. Maybe you and I could play with our Xbox later. You like that don't you?" She nodded. I kissed her forehead. "You can sleep for a while," I whispered. She shuddered and closed her eyes. I waited for her to come around and speak.
"Sorry about that," she said, sounding a lot like Blaze. Her eyes were glazed when she stared back at me. I could see that she still wanted me as much as I did with her. That made me more damp than before. "You know how kids are. Still ready to talk to me and Uno?" She smirked.
I jumped on top of her, earning a giggle as she embraced me. "You bet I do," I said.
Love making was a strange affair with two lovers. Though one body was involved, the manner in which she'd attack me with fervent kisses went from wild to passionate at one point, to slow and sexy. The buildup from holding it for too long was a climb that we were desperate to reach. I didn't know how many times it happened, but I wasn't going to stop with one.
"Are you thinking about earlier?" Blaze asked as we departed the car. "You have a funny look on your face." She lifted the hem of her black gown.
"Yeah," I confessed, feeling slightly embarrassed to be caught. "It was a good talk." I bit my lip. "Can we have it again one of these days?"
"Every day," she clarified.
The lights were glaring as we headed to the side entrance of the building. The security guided us on either side. I could see a lot of people, but my gaze was focused only on her. She was more than enough to keep an eye on. We both nodded to the people that smiled at us. In the distance, I could see Bianca and Carter, wearing their glam outfit for tonight's premiere. "Careful," Blaze said, catching me touch my eye. "You'll smear your makeup."
"I won't. By the way, what will you tell them if they ask who you're wearing?"
She noticed the director standing a few feet from us and waved. "I'll tell them the truth. I'm wearing a gown made by Riri Chance." She twirled around, giving me the full effect. The crystals that I've placed here and there made the dress sparkle. I've been working on the design when we were in the island. It was fulfilling to see it in all its splendor, and worn by no other than Blaze herself.
The director made her way to us. She kissed me and Blaze on the cheek in an overly familiar manner. She was a great director, I would give her that. She was fair with all of the staff, not only with the actors. "You both look stunning!" she exclaimed.
"So are you, Mama," Blaze said.
"You know how it is. We need to look our best for occasions like this." The director snapped her finger. "It almost slipped my mind," she said. The woman rummaged through her expensive purse and produced a black envelop, which she handed to Blaze. "For you my dear," she said. "The star of our next party." Blaze sucked in her breath as she took the envelop. We both knew what it meant. We've succeeded. "Well then," said Mama. "See you later. Enjoy the limelight, my children."
Blaze and I exchanged joyful looks when the director stepped away. "Finally," I said happily. "Finally!"
She bit her lip and handed me the envelop. "This is all thanks to you," she murmured. I held to it tightly. It was funny how the fruits of our labor could be summed up by a flimsy paper. But there it was.
Carter and Bianca waved to us like a couple of crazy kids in the other side of the hallway. They were calling us to walk the red carpet for the premier. It was about to start. "Don't thank me," I said to Blaze. "You worked hard for this. You deserve it." She looked like she wanted to cry as we headed to our friends. I myself couldn't believe this was happening. That all of that transpired.
She intertwined our fingers. "Are you ready?" she said. I nodded. The screaming began as we set foot on the carpet. Lights blinded us. Her name was yelled a hundred times. It didn't matter that they called her Uno. She was she, and that was good enough. As for me, my name is Riri Chance. I liked to play this game called What Could I Tell You. So what could I tell you about my girlfriend? I didn't know where to begin.
Epilogue
The rising panic in my chest was uncontrollable. All around me, kids were cowering, shuddering because they knew what was coming. I quickly took hold of the child beside me. "Hurry!" I whispered. "Hurry Riess!" The girl with strawberry colored hair and big, bright almond eyes was staring at me like she was lost in a crowd. So small, I thought. She was too small to experience the pain that the man gave me and my friends.
With a tug at her hand, Riess finally followed me. Her steps were tiny compared to mine. Our age gap wasn't that big, yet the differences in our body were obvious. Another kid who was the same age as her was still sick because of the man's beating. It would break my heart if Riess would be confined in bed too. The other people in the adoption center had no idea did they? The man was a beast. He would kill us with his belt.
"Where are we going?" she asked with wide, frightened eyes. She was beginning to notice how scared some of our friends were. Both of us ran out of the room. I glanced around me, trying to find a suitable hiding place for her. The man would come several times a year to perform his inspections. It was then that he'd do unspeakable things. He was careful not to hit us on the face. The staff would know. "I'm scared," she said in a small voice.
"Shhh!" I said. There was a shadow on my left. Maybe it was the man. My heart jumped to my throat, and sweat dripped from my forehead down to my neck. I yanked her to the opposite direction so we could avoid the monster. When I was sure that he wouldn't take the detour, I leaned down to Riess. "We're playing hide-and-seek okay?" I said. She nodded. "Go to a closet and don't come out until I come for you."
She was uncertain. "Where is everyone?" She was referring to the staff. They were the people who treated us nicely. The man was a different case. My group was his favorite, especially me.
I avoided her eyes. It was tough to lie to her. She was my closest friend here, as young as she was. "They're gone," I said. "Took a day out with those rich people." I smiled. "But don't worry, we'll have so much fun playing here. Go on Riess, hide in the closet and wait for me." I pushed her away when she didn't follow. "Go," I urged. Riess was hesitant, but she still ran away.
The sigh of relief I made was shortened when I heard footsteps echoing in the hallway. The man has come for me. Though I tried not to quiver or make a sound, my teeth chattered as the footsteps became louder. He was here. The pain would start again. I stared longingly at the path where Riess disappeared. At least she was safe.
"There you are," the man said behind me. I pried my gaze from the hallway so I could stare at him. The devil smiled evilly and made his way to me. He dangled his belt, as if telling me what was going to happen. The buckle hit the ground with a clang. The chattering of my teeth became louder. Pretend this is a movie, I chanted in my mind. Pretend. Pretend. I was playing a role. I wasn't Erin. I was a movie star called Blaze. I was a tough girl. I could take the beating. Pretend. Pretend. Oh God!
I woke up sweating and gasping. Shit, that nightmare again. It has replayed in my mind since the incident at Holy Angels. My heart was still beating uncomfortably fast as I stared b
eside me. My breathing immediately calmed down when I saw Riri curled there, asleep. She was in my bed. We were safe. I brushed my hand on her cheek. She stirred but didn't wake up. It was a nightmare. We were here, I repeated in my head.
The clock on the bedside table beeped. Its glow made it easier for me to see the time. Three in the morning. It was usually at this hour when the nightmares would start. Like clockwork, I'd wake up, see Riri, then calm down. If it weren't for her, I'd be locked in a mental institution now. I wiped the sweat on my forehead. Sleep would elude me for minutes. I needed to get out of bed.
The kitchen was where I ended up in. I drank half the pitcher of water, trying to quell the inferno burning inside of me. Gulp. Gulp. It was getting uncomfortable. Gulp. Gulp. "Stop!" a voice said in my head. "You're drinking too much." Fine. I lowered the pitcher and placed it on the table. It wasn't literally a voice, but more of a thought that I knew didn't belong to me. It was Blaze's. I sighed and left the pitcher there so I could go back to the bedroom. Riri was still fast asleep. Good, I thought. After taking care of me for months, she needed the rest.
My eyes drifted to the painting on the wall. It was during this time of the day when I'd contemplate on going inside. Maybe I should. I had that room built so I could lock the monster that was me. So I wouldn't hurt myself and other people when I wasn't in control. Right now I was in control, yet I still felt the need to go there. I lowered the painting and activated the code. Riri told me that she'd have the room sealed one of these days. She didn't like the idea of having it inside the house.
I agreed with her. I always agreed with her nowadays. As scholarly, rich, or talented as the others and I were, Riri still knew what was best for me. The white light in the room was familiar in such a way that only a madman like me would understand. I sat on the soft floor and gazed around.
"Can't sleep?" I turned to the door and saw Riri standing there. The bathrobe fell to her shoulder, exposing skin. I stared hungrily at her. She was the only woman who could ignite me in flames. I'd burn in her passion anytime she wished. I groaned inwardly when I realized that I wasn't in control anymore but has taken a sudden backseat.
