by Sela Croft
But Logan wasn’t there, so I had to find that strength without him. I had to find my sister on my own.
“You’re right,” Dequan said. “He is very busy. It’s the life of a prince. Fortunately, I have no such status or duties, so I can give you what he cannot.”
“What is that?”
“My full and undivided attention. Unlike his grace, I don’t have an endless list of obligations. I only have one—helping you find your sister and figuring out why you and Rosamon were drawn into Shadowland, in the first place.”
His words filled me with hope. Having a vampire with his abilities assist me, offered a chance for success. Maybe I wasn’t alone in this, after all. Even though I wished that my source of help was someone other than Dequan, my desperation pulled me to take whatever I could get.
Even if what I got was a vampire that made me feel insignificant. I didn’t fully trust Dequan, but he was there. If I let him walk away, what were the chances that there would be another offer?
Others in Crystal City were immersed in their own issues—riots, break-outs, insurgencies. Dequan was my only option, my only hope to find my sister.
I spoke with caution. “What do I need to do?”
“It’s simple, really. I have found a way to open a line of communication with your sister.” Dequan held up his hand before I could ask any more questions. “It will all make sense soon. For now, you need to come with me to a location, where I can set up the proper conditions to open up the channel.”
“Go with you? Leave Logan’s home?”
“It’s the only way.”
I was hesitant. Leaving the safety of Logan’s home hadn’t been a wise move before. But I wasn’t going to find my sister sitting around a floating mansion. A wave of guilt washed over me.
It was selfish to think of my safety, cowering in a prince’s palace, while Rosamon was suffering. She’d been out there, for too long. My dream was in the forefront of my mind. Real or not, the images conveyed a clear message. My sister was trapped, and I couldn’t delay in finding her.
“You can trust me, Callie.”
I wasn’t so sure. Yet Logan had confided in him, and he was family. So, I nodded in agreement then allowed him to escort me out of the room. I walked down the hall, with the fleet of vampires following close.
My purpose resurged; I would find my sister—if it wasn’t too late.
Dequan’s plan could work. It must…
Chapter 31
Natasha
A soft breeze drifted through the trees and the scent of the flowers wafted about. My gardens were peaceful, and the air was cool. I preferred to be around nature. It relaxed me, allowed me to focus.
Yet my surroundings weren’t as calming as I’d hoped. I faced a struggle that couldn’t be ignored. For the last few days, I’d been unable to regain the full breadth of my ability, which was frustrating.
I had the urge to see my visions, and until recently it had been easy to pull up the images. Yet viewing the future was as dangerous as it was satisfying. There had been times when I’d foregone the use of my ability, for that reason.
It was necessary to view what was to come. Yet, since the kidnapping my visions hadn’t been accessible. The traumatic event had affected my ability.
It was important to remember how things had transpired and to know more about the perpetrator. I fought to recall more details, but was unable to fill in the missing chunk of time between the encounter in my home and the rescue in the tunnels.
In those hours, another had used my powers to see the future. I was sure of it. My certainty came more from a feeling, more than from memory—which was the reason I tried to recall what had happened.
Even if I’d been unconscious, my mind should have been able to call up the event, later. My ability should give me insight into what happened. It was vital to figure out who had been there, and their purpose for abducting me. What made it crucial for my kidnapper to see into the future?
It couldn’t have been mere curiosity. The risk in kidnapping me was far too great. The purpose had to be worth the danger. But I didn’t have the answer, and had been unable to deduce why I’d been taken.
I yelled out with annoyance. The outburst disrupted the tranquility of my surroundings. I opened my eyes and let the lush greenery around me provide me as much comfort as it could.
It would be better to relax, and let the visions come. I calmed my body and my mind to drift into a meditative state, but the visions didn’t appear.
After several efforts to recover my memory, I shifted my focus to another obstacle.
The handful of visions I’d been able to access were bleak. One benefit of my ability was that I could see the future, with the possible outcomes. That had given me solace. While one vision might be filled with horror and death, another would reveal peace and prosperity.
The future was constantly shifting. Any action—no matter how small—could change the image I received. That was why I was often less than forthcoming with my brother about what I’d seen. His volatile reactions could end up changing much more than he understood.
It was better that he didn’t know what the future held.
But I couldn’t give up, so I settled onto the stone bench and tried again. Viewing the fate of the realm could enable me to make a difference. As of late, the visions of peace and prosperity had ceased. Any flash of insight into the future had been dire. Each had been worse than the last, and when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it had.
My family had been torn apart, the city was in ruins. Death, darkness and pain loomed. But I couldn’t let that happen. There had to be a way to stop it. I refused to believe that there wasn’t.
I paced around my gardens, trying to find inspiration. The breeze blew, and the sweet scent of the flowers swirled in the air. But there was no solace to be had. The way things were going, the gardens would be ruins, before I was graced with more hopeful visions.
With great effort, I’d managed to summon a few visions, over the last couple of days. The city moved in an all-out offensive against the Fae, but…that resulted in Florian’s death.
Then Logan pulled back the fleets to lure the Fae into a false sense of security, before ordering an attack on their outposts. And…that resulted in Logan’s demise.
Yet another vision predicted the death of all three of my brothers.
Gratefully, there was one vision that predicted the survival of my entire family. But that was the worst of them all. The Crystal City was in ruins. The Fae controlled the light. The royal family was forced to flee and live our lives in exile—hunted like animals for the rest of our days. The rest of our race would be killed or subjected to life under horrendous conditions.
Darkness consumed the world; death followed.
But I wondered about Callendra Mayfair. The human girl hadn’t appeared in my recent visions.
I slumped down to the smooth stone path, and pulled my knees up to my chest. Inhaling deeply, I allowed my eyes to close, then fought to gain another flicker of insight.
My vision took me to the heart of the war. The air tasted of smoke and cries for help echoed around me. Bodies rushed past. The streets were crowded; chaos was everywhere. Dragons soared through the air.
I scanned the environment, since my time in that future was limited. I spotted my brothers leading the fleets of dragons to battle. But Callie wasn’t there. I scanned the streets, but didn’t spot her.
I pushed my mind to dive deeper, and searched Logan’s home, the tunnels, and the holding cells, but she wasn’t there.
With a frustrated cry, I pushed myself up. The images melted away and my gardens came back into view. My view of the future was limited, and I didn’t understand why.
Just a week ago, Callie had been central in each vision. But she seemed to have simply disappeared. Before her actions affected the future. Each decision she made, or person she met was significant. It made no sense that she’d vanished.
I was certain t
hat she had an impact on the outcome of events, even if I was unable to see it yet. She’d become close to Logan, and connected with others in the family.
For that reason, she must alter how the future unfolds. Logan had grown fond of her in the time they had spent together. That was my fault. I’d pushed him toward her. It had been what I’d thought should happen.
Callie needed to remain close to us. The Fae wanted her. I’d believed she would be safest under Logan’s protection. Yet I feared that I’d put my brother in danger by urging him to harbor the human girl.
I’d had a responsibility to share my vision, to do the best I could. But it was little consolation. I worried about my family and my realm. And I worried about Logan, most of all.
Chapter 32
Natasha
Callie’s absence in my recent visions disturbed me more than I cared to admit.
The kidnapping and subsequent gap in my memory scared me, but not nearly as much as the potential implications of bringing the human girl into my family did. I had no way to predict her influence, or whether she’d bring help or harm.
Logan’s attachment to her complicated matters. When I’d spoken to him, the conversation had tended to revolve around the human girl. I’d filled his mind with the need to keep her close, and forewarned him of her importance to our future.
I was no longer certain of her role; it wasn’t clear. Before there had been a concept of what would happen and why, but not anymore.
I resented my gift each day; it was a curse. It was difficult to explain to my brothers what my ability was truly like. It was more than seeing the future. It was seeing the options, and which one would come to pass was no clearer to me than it was to my family.
That was why I didn’t tell them everything. I couldn’t. Anything I said could cause them to act or react. And that reaction could change things; it would change things.
A guard stationed at my door interrupted my thoughts. “He’s requested an audience again, princess.”
Logan had been asking to speak with me, for the past few days. I had gone to him once, when Callie was missing. It was the best time for me to judge his true feelings for her, and my chance to figure out if keeping him in the dark was still the best course of action.
I discovered that it was.
Worry had been written across his face. Anger hadn’t been in his eyes, as I had anticipated. If any of his other subjects had gone against his wishes, as Callie had, he would have flown into a rage.
But not with Callie. With her it was different; he was different.
I’d wanted to be pleased about that. My brother had so little to be happy about, and she made him happy. It had been so long since I had seen him care about another person that way.
But he was the prince, and not afforded such luxuries, as there was the risk that such a connection would be detrimental to our cause.
If only I knew if the human girl was detrimental or not.
I crossed the threshold to my residence. “Tell Logan I’m ready to receive him.”
I couldn’t keep brother waiting forever. I wished I could. I wished I could retreat into my home and stay there until the end came—whatever end that would be. But that would selfish and unfair. He needed me, and he needed my guidance.
Even though, Logan wouldn’t like what I had to tell him.
He wouldn’t like it, because I wasn’t going to tell him what he wanted to hear. I couldn’t. He wanted me to tell him what to do. Yet that hadn’t been the best course of action.
It nagged at me that I’d advised him to protect Callie.
I paced around the sitting room, playing out our conversation in my mind. I anticipated how it would go, so didn’t need my ability to predict that.
Logan strode into the room. “Natasha…” He’d arrived, without delay. Or perhaps I’d been so immersed in thought that I hadn’t realized how much time had passed.
My brother crossed the room, with his arms outstretched. I gave into his embrace, holding onto him tightly. When he pulled back, I saw the exhaustion in his eyes. It was unusual for a vampire to feel physical fatigue. Logan’s fatigue was mental and emotional.
My brother’s emotions were easy to read. He was often contemplative, but quickly angered. And I couldn’t blame him, with all the enemies pressing in. Plus, there was so much more buried beneath his tired eyes.
I sensed heartache, but his mood appeared hopeful.
“How are you, sister…better, I hope?”
“Yes, much,” I said and motioned for him to take a seat on the couch.
“I won’t be here long,” Logan said with a frown. “I’m afraid I have other matters to attend to.”
“What other matters?”
“Nothing you should concern yourself with. You need to rest.”
“I assume you aren’t here just to ensure that I’m resting.”
“I wish that was the case.”
“I can’t tell you anything new, Logan,” I said. “I’m sorry. My advice to you is the same as before, do what you feel is best.”
I had hoped the conversation would end with that, but I knew it wouldn’t.
Logan pursed his lips, then stepped back. “Surely, you know something,” he said. “A clue about the Fae, where to attack, what tools our enemies will bring to battle? Anything—any little thing will help.”
I sensed his effort to remain calm, which didn’t come easily to him. It made sense that it was a struggle, given all that was going on. The burden of duty fell on his shoulders; he was expected to find solutions to the realm’s problems.
“I don’t know any more, than I’ve already told you.”
Logan shook his head, then ran his fingers through his hair. “Don’t lie to me,” he said. “I’m your brother, Natasha. And I need your help.”
“I wish—”
“Don’t wish…just do. You can, Natasha. I know you can. I know you’ve been keeping things from me.”
“It’s just because…”
“You want to protect me, I know. But you’re not protecting me. Can’t you see that? You’re hurting me. I don’t know what to do… I don’t know…”
His tone was uncertain and my heart quivered. He was so strong. It hurt me to see him like that—broken, confused, and on the verge of desperation.
“Everything is falling apart,” Logan said. “And I can’t stop it. I’m trying. I’m doing everything I can. But it’s not getting better. It’s getting worse.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, but I fought to keep my composure. “I’m sorry, Logan. I can’t tell you anything.”
“I beg you.” His voice was low, but seemed to echo through the room. The pleading in his tone broke my heart. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him everything.
But to what end?
It would do no good to tell him that he was fighting a losing battle.
He already suspected that. He lived it, witnessed it. I couldn’t tell him that no matter what course of action he took, the outcome would be pain and death and destruction.
He struggled enough. At least, he still had hope. I wondered if he’d gained hope from the human girl, that Callie was the reason for that spark of optimism in his eyes.
That thought only made my situation worse. I couldn’t tell him that I could no longer see her in our future. He’d ask what that meant, and whether some tragedy would befall her. Or the other possibility was that Callie would leave, return to the outside.
Any such event would break him completely. I couldn’t be the one to mention such possibilities. “I don’t have anything to tell you.”
Logan stared into my eyes. “Fine,” he said. “If you want to keep lying to me, that’s your choice. The city is on the brink of destruction and you—the one person with the ability to help us find a way to stop it—refuse to help.”
“Logan, I—”
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear any more of your deception.” Logan turned, and in the blink of an eye was gone. My chest was
tight, and I couldn’t breathe. Falling to my knees, I buried my face in my hands and let the tears flow freely.
“I don’t want this,” I sobbed. “I don’t want this gift—this burden…”
I’d hurt one of the people I loved most in the entire world. Even if I was doing what I thought was best, my dear brother had every right to be angry with me.
I hoped that one day, Logan would forgive me. And prayed that both of us would still be alive, so he’d have the chance to understand.
Chapter 33
Logan
When I left my sister’s home, I was more distraught than when I’d arrived. Frustrated could not begin to explain the rush of emotions surging through me. I walked back toward the heart of the city.
Flying would have been faster. But there was no point in rushing. I knew what awaited me there—more of the same. More confusion and destruction and chaos. More questions. Questions I didn’t have the answers to.
The only answer my sister gave me was the same string of words she had been reciting since the beginning: “Do what you think is best.”
Previously, when Natasha had advised me that way, I’d found confidence in her words. I’d interpreted them as her show of faith. She believed in my ability to lead, and trusted my decisions. She knew my choices would lead to the best outcome for all of us.
Moments ago, there had been something different about the way she’d spoken them. There had been something different in the way she’d acted and responded to me.
Certainly, I’d been more vulnerable than normal. I’d wanted her to know how desperately I needed her help. Her reaction was not what I’d expected. I hadn’t been foolish enough to assume she would bestow upon me, any and all knowledge that she’d acquired.
But to see her moved to the verge of tears—no matter how much she’d tried to hide it—struck panic in my heart. That worried me more than anything else going on in the realm. I began to wonder if her refusal to provide me with guidance was more than her unwavering trust in my leadership.
