by Steve Lang
“I regret any malfunctions that may occur during my service today, gents. I’m not feeling quite right, and when I explained this to Spangler he told me to, and I quote ‘get my ass to work.’”
“That sounds like him.” Dean said.
The two shot each other a concerned glance. The large sentient machine that was preparing to slice and dice the mountain had a lot of heavy moving parts, and if the bot felt he may malfunction, that could mean a world of hurt for the squishy humans helping him.
“OK. Roger that. We’ll just stand over here and out of your way.” Jim said.
Gordon dropped down onto his tank tracks and rolled along the dirt to begin his task. A cloud of dust rose high into the afternoon air as Gordon tunneled, but at about forty feet into the tunnel, the men heard a loud clang. Something whistled through the air, originating from the tunnel entrance. Dean tackled Jim to the ground just before a large robotic arm shot past the space his head had been in a moment earlier.
“Damn it, Gordon! You almost took my head off!” Jim screamed.
“Ugh, sorry man! I was afraid something like that was going to happen.” Gordon backed out of the hole, hydraulic fluid spewing from his left arm socket.
“You’re in bad shape. Can you make it back to the shop?” Dean asked.
“Yeah, but until they fix me it looks like you’re going to have to use charges to blow the pilot tunnel. I’ll be back in a little while.” Gordon picked his severed arm up off the ground wielding it like a bat.
“Be safe, man!” Jim called after him.
“When I get back to the shop, if I see Spangler, I’m shooting hydraulic fluid on his shirt. I blame him for this one. He didn’t even allow one diagnostic test!” Gordon said. He rolled up to the highway mumbling to himself, stopped a moment, and then rolled over the hot asphalt leaving large tank track divots in the highway as he left.
“I’ve always liked Gordon.” Jim smiled.
“He’s got a personality, that’s for sure. You ready to get to work?” Dean sighed.
Jim nodded and got his pick and shovel out of the pickup truck.
“Hey Dean, check this out.” Jim said. He was walking into the tunnel opening.
Dean joined his partner and saw what Jim was referring to. It seemed to be the outline of a human arm, made of stone.
“What do you think it is? A weird rock formation?” Dean asked.
“I dunno. Start digging it out and I’ll hold the light. We have to work quickly though. If Spangler decides to come up here he’ll shut us down and take credit for whatever this is. This is OUR find.” Jim said.
“Why do I have to dig it out?” Dean asked. He had a confused look .
“I’m two months your senior.”
“Dude, the fact that you’ve been here two months longer than me does not make you my senior, just so we’re clear.”
“Can you hurry up, please? I’d like to see what this is before we get caught.” Jim said .
Dean shook his head in disgust and decided it was not worth the argument. Slowly, he began to unearth the odd discovery.
To their sheer amazement what they had uncovered in the rock did appear to be a petrified man. The man must have died in the fetal position and looked as if he may have stood about five feet tall, but it was hard to tell with so much compression over time. Jim finished uncovering the solid body and they laid it out on the tunnel floor. Minerals from the earth had bronzed the man over time, but otherwise his features had remained as they were when he was alive.
“This dude couldn’t have been more than forty years old when he bit the big one.” Jim said.
“Hey Jim, look in his hand.” said Dean.
The little man was clutching an object in his left hand that was obscured by dirt.
“What is that thing? I’m going to loosen it up.”
Jim knelt down and scraped some of the dirt off of the mysterious object revealing a sharp crystal point. It was frozen in the dead man’s hand as if the two had been fused together over a period of time.
“I’m going to have to break his hand to get it,” said Jim.
“You sure you ought to do that? I mean this is some kind of historical artifact or something, right? There’s going to be people wanting to study this guy.” Dean replied.
It was too late. Jim smacked the man’s appendage with the end of his shovel and the shriveled little fingers broke like a sheet of slate. What tumbled out of the hand fragments was a crystal pyramid about the size of a key chain car door opener. Jim studied the tiny object like a child struggling to understand a trigonometry equation.
“We need to get this guy and his artifact out of here now, before anyone else shows up.” Jim said.
Dean nodded and the two carried the petrified body to the back of his truck and tossed a tarp over it before returning to the tunnel and setting some charges.
“So, what are you going to do with it?” Dean asked.
“My sister works over at the college and she knows some guys in the archaeology and human genetics departments. I figure maybe they can take a look and let us know what we’ve got here, and then the two of us can phone the press, and announce a petrified man for sale.”
“Yeah, good idea. You think it’ll be that easy?” Dean asked.
Jim lifted a box of dynamite and carried it over to the hole.
“I wonder if there’s more of em’ still in there?” Jim asked.
“I don’t care if there’s an entire village buried in that mountain. We need to make some progress or else it’s our asses. Spangler’s gonna’ to freak if he sees we’ve only dug forty feet.” Dean said.
Several hours later and many feet forward, the two men were at the end of their shift, and were packing to go home.
“It’s Friday, and the college will be closed after six tonight, but I’m gonna’ to show this to my sister Petra, and maybe she’ll connect me with one of those super robots over there who can figure this out,” said Jim.
“It’s half mine, so I’m coming too!” Dean said. He was helping Jim load the truck with their gear.
“Of course, man. You’re more than welcome to join me. Let’s just keep it until we figure out what this guy is.”
Later that night Jim arrived at his sister’s house with the artifact and she met them outside under the cover of darkness where no one would see the prize they had unearthed earlier in the day. Crickets sang their night song.
“Hi Petra, good to see you.” Jim gave her a hug as she joined them by his truck.
“Hey boys, likewise. So, what’s got in the truck? Let me see it.”
Jim tossed the tarp aside to reveal the curled up stone man.
“He looks like he’s sleeping. Did you find anything else with him?”
“Yeah, this crystal pyramid. He was clutching it in his hand, but other than that I have no idea what it is or where he got it.” Jim brought it out of his pocket, shrugging.
“Over at the college science lab there’s a bot that can date the man, and maybe figure out the secret of your shiny toy.”
Jim and Dean followed behind Petra until they reached the science building, and once they were inside she located one of the sentry bots named Karl.
“Karl, would you mind giving me a hand with a package in the back of my truck?”
“Yes ma’am. No problem. How are you doing this fine evening?” He asked.
Karl stood six feet tall, was constructed of titanium, and had a cylindrical body. His head was a cube with two blinking eyes, and as the college wanted to present a friendly environment to students and faculty, he wore a permanent smile. What the public did not see was the hidden Electro-Muscular Disruption Taser in Karl’s wrist, capable of instantly stunning the largest men, forcing them to assume the fetal position, all while crying and shaking in an instant.
“We’re good, thank you for your help.”
“It’s a pleasure to serve you, Petra.” Karl said.
Jim and Dean walked behind them a few pa
ces.
“Does that bot strike you as creepy at all?” Jim asked.
“As a general rule, I don’t trust anyone that smiles all the time, especially a tin can.” Dean replied.
Karl laughed up ahead.
“I’m actually constructed of titanium, from my nose to my servos, and I’m with you there. I wish I could wipe this stupid damned smile off my face without being labeled a problem by management.”
Jim and Dean chuckled with Karl, exchanged a glance, and did not say another word.
“Karl, do you know if Jensen is around tonight? I need him to check this thing out.” Petra asked.
“Yeah, he’s over in the reptilian history wing. I’ll ring him.” Karl said.
When they approached the truck, a man clothed in overalls and a torn t-shirt, with long scraggly blond hair and cowboy boots was standing beside the vehicle with a little box connected to Jim’s keyless entry.
“Hey pard’, what the hell are you doing? That’s my truck!” Jim yelled.
The man seemed startled that anyone was around at this hour.
“Hey, uh, sorry man but you know how it is. I kind of need your wheels.” He shrugged.
“Sir, please drop the key code generator, and step to the sidewalk. I am alerting authorities of your attempted theft now.” Karl said.
“Like I said, I’m awful sorry about this, but I gotta’ get to Florida and its too long of a walk.” The man produced a pistol.
“Whoa, be cool, brother!” Dean said.
“Sir, authorities are on the way, this is your last warning!” Karl said.
“Well, I guess you better hand over the keys so I can be on my way then. Who’s got em’? And what’s with that stupid grin on your face, bot?”
A tense moment of silence followed.
“The faculty and administration at the West Virginia College of Arts and Sciences feel that everyone should have a smile on their face.” Karl pointed at the man and two wires shot out of his wrist.
They shot through the air with lightening speed, and before the pistol-waving bum could react he had two electrodes securely fastened to his crotch. Karl hit the juice and the scraggly haired man dropped to the ground in a ball of shaking, twitching pain, gibbering like an idiot. The effect of so much electricity moving through his central nervous system caused a complete loss of bowel and bladder control.
“Dude, you crapped yourself!” Jim laughed.
“Jim, get the gun!” Petra yelled.
He kicked it to the side just as a squad car of police bots rounded the corner and took the man away. They scooped up the stinking mess of a man and tossed him into the back of their squad car.
“Have a nice day, everyone!” One officer said. They could hear the man’s rights being read as the cops drove away.
“OK, can we please get this over with? The suspense is killing me.” Dean said.
“Thank you Karl, that was awesome.” Jim said.
“My pleasure. It’s the smile that make takes them off guard.”
Karl lifted the petrified man with care and carried him into the building with Petra in the lead. Jensen met them in the hallway outside the robotics lab. Jensen resembled Karl in almost every way, but he wore a white lab coat and his expression was blank. He stood blinking as they approached.
“Good evening, Petra. It looks like you’ve got something very interesting for me.” Jensen walked over to Karl, and took the body. “Let’s get this into the lab so I can scan it.”
“I also brought this.” Jim showed him the crystal pyramid.
“Interesting. That looks like a recorder.” Jensen said.
“A recorder? What do you mean?” Dean asked.
“Well, we’ve been trapping live images inside crystals for some time as a record keeping measure. They last forever, and won’t break down over time like magnetic tape or scratch easily like plastics did in the past. They’re great for storing important records.” Jensen said.
Jensen led them into the lab and placed the petrified man on a table. He studied the worn, wrinkled lines of the man’s body, his shriveled facial features, and the peaceful, sleepy expression that was frozen on his face. Jensen moved his hands over the body, emitting a red laser as they passed.
“You’ve got yourself a historical find here, people. This guy’s been dead for at least thirty-six thousand years.”
Jim, Petra, and Dean all looked at each other excitedly.
“Oh my god! That’s unbelievable, are you sure?” Jim asked.
“That’s way older than I thought humans had even existed on this planet.” Petra said.
“I’m programmed to know these things, and my carbon dating system is never wrong. He’s been under ground for quite some time.”
A tiny door opened up in Jensen’s abdomen.
“Can I borrow your pyramid, please?”
Jim handed it over without another word. Jensen carefully placed the pyramid inside his body, and the little door shut.
“Ha! It’s just as I thought. A recorded message exists on this device.” Jensen dimmed the lights and a moment later his eyes lit up like vehicle headlamps.
The laboratory room disappeared as the pyramid projected a three-hundred sixty-five degree moving recording of the man holding the crystal object, while a crowd of people walked up the hill where he was standing. The sky above was like something out of a Sci-Fi movie to Jim, Dean, and Petra, and it was like nothing they had ever seen. The sky was aglow with the brilliant illumination of two planets, a smaller one atop the other. The bigger one was so large it filled the sky, while the smaller, red planet looked like a small pupil in the center of a very big eye.
“Wow!” Jim whispered.
The recorder’s camera eye panned the heavens.
“The large planet is Saturn, and Mars is the eye you see in the center. It would appear the myths about those planets might be true after all.” Said Jensen.
“You’ve got to elaborate on that a little bit buddy.” Petra said.
“There is a myth in ancient lore that Saturn was, at one time, the predominate sun in our sky. You see it in Celtic symbolism, on pyramids, and on all kinds of religious artifacts as a circle with another circle inside of it, and what looks like fire or rays of light in between the two. Some postulate that the fire is Venus traveling as a comet through our solar system.”
Jensen stopped talking as something large raced across the sky toward Saturn, and as it did electricity began to rain down on Earth in a violent array of destruction. Without warning the ground shook violently beneath the gathered crowd in the recording. Some of the people gawked stupidly at the sky, some knelt to pray, and others panicked, all running past the man with the pyramid recorder in his hand.
“Venus shot across the sky and caused planetary disruption on a massive scale, and it wasn’t just earth that was affected either. The combination of all three is the wheel in the sky.” Jensen said.
“Oh my God, this guy caught it on his crystal? Awesome!” Jim said.
“As the comet moved further through the sky the gravity and force of such a large celestial object coursing between the planets caused the earth below them to quake with thunderous turmoil.”
Their exuberance turned to horror and dread as they watched large areas of the earth split apart. Mountains of rock rose from angry oceans causing, widespread tsunamis. A large city, with buildings that were covered with glass windows and had massive spires that reached the clouds, which appeared to be about three miles from where the man stood, began to crumble in the tumult. Airborne vehicles, resembling flying saucers, tumbled helplessly to the ground as lightning bolts surged through them from within the storm. Jim, Petra, and Dean watched the horrific scene unfold, mouth open, eyes wide.
“I don’t want to watch anymore,” said Jim.
“I think we have to finish it though.” Petra said. Her tone was flat, and Jim could tell she shared his abhorrence with this film.
In the distance they could see that the c
ity was now sinking into the ground as tidal water raged forth from an angry sea. Faces of people panicking were frozen in silent screams as they ran from their doom, while others clung to each other crying as their world imploded. The man holding the pyramid turned it to face himself and began to speak, but there was no sound.
“Can you read lips, Jensen?” Jim asked the room.
“I can. He’s speaking Spanish,” replied Petra.
“Well, what’s he saying?” Nick asked.
“Show the world we were here! He says it over and over.”
As the man spoke, behind him a mile high tsunami wall of mud, rocks, and boulders rushed across the landscape, tearing everything down that stood in its path. Moments later, the recording was obscured and then the projection went black.
“That’s all folks.” Jensen said. “Unfortunately for all of you, my protocols require me to report anything like this to the Hall of Clandestine Affairs. As we were viewing this recording an agent in their office was watching as well. Please remain calm, and stay where you are, an agent will be here in a moment or two to clean up this mess.”
For thousands of years the details of that final horrific day lay hidden under a mountain of rock waiting for two tunnel diggers to uncover it. A day later the tiny pyramid was taken to an undisclosed storage facility somewhere in the Northwestern part of the United States, where it joined many other purposefully hidden archaeological relics. Although Jim and Dean attempted to expose the HCA for what they were, none believed their tale, and eventually after the ridicule became too much they dropped the subject. The Petrified Man was just another sensational article in the National Enquirer buried on page six.
the horror of stanton manor
The restless spirits of Stanton Manor remain trapped within the house, but the unsuspecting new owner will set them free, at a cost.
Nathaniel Stanton had been a textile tycoon in the eighteen eighties as the post-Civil War economy began to bounce back in Concord, North Carolina. The resurgence in industry and wealth was due in large part to revolutionary technological advances in cotton production, as well as a prevalence of non-existent labor laws. Nathaniel employed men, women, and children as young as ten years old. One benefit to child labor was that if any of the machinery jammed up, their fingers were small enough to get inside and work the small parts loose. He was a hard man to work for, and disagreeable to a fault. Nathaniel, concerned for his profits, ordered the plant’s rear and side doors be locked during work hours to ensure none of his workers were stepping out for unauthorized breaks.
