“Yeah,” I agree.
Turning on his side, he trails his finger along my abdomen, making little circles. “You know, I’ve been thinking we should try new things during sex.”
I shoot him a curious look. “Like what?”
His finger moves lower to the apex of my thighs before stopping. “Whatever you want, Jess.” As if he can see the indecision in my eyes, he adds, “Don’t overthink it, okay? I want to make things better for the both of us.”
Doesn’t he like what we are doing now? “Are you bored with me?” I ask, my breath hitching.
He shakes his head. “No, no, that’s not what I meant, babe. I’m not bored, I just want to explore different positions and stuff. That’s all.” He leans over and kisses the corner of my mouth. “We’ll talk more about it later. Right now, we need to be getting ready.” He smiles reassuringly as he rolls out of bed and dresses.
If there is one thing I have learned while being around Ryan is that he can be very persuasive when he wants to be. The feeling I have in the pit of my stomach this very moment isn’t good. Something tells me that I’m not going to like what’s coming. All the more reason for me to leave Florida. Tonight.
Ryan’s two friends are here, Craig and James. I’ve seen them around campus talking to Ryan a few times, but we’ve never been introduced. The way Craig is eyeing me is giving me the creeps.
I move to the couch when Ryan and James leave the room to get drinks. Craig also takes a seat, but thankfully keeps some distance between us.
“You’re very pretty,” he comments, his eyes narrowing in on my breasts. Ryan insisted I wear the shirt that compliments my boobs tonight. It’s a low cut, V-neck t-shirt that shows a lot of cleavage.
Clasping my hands in my lap so he doesn’t see them trembling, I ignore him. They need to hurry back with the drinks so he will back off. As if on cue, Ryan and James return with their hands full of red solo cups.
I take one from Ryan’s hands happily, taking a long sip of whatever they have poured.
Ryan sits between me and Craig and I couldn’t be more relieved.
The guys fall into a conversation for the next several minutes before setting up the poker table. I had planned to stay where I was on the couch, but Ryan takes my hand and leads me over to the table, pulling me into his lap after he sits down.
“Want another drink?” Ryan asks, grabbing another cup off the table and holding it up to me.
I frown and look down at my cup noticing it’s empty. No wonder he asked me if I wanted another drink. I hadn’t even realized I had already finished the first one.
“Yeah,” I answer, accepting the second cup.
I watch as the guys play, Ryan clearly losing. My head is starting to feel fuzzy from all of the alcohol I’ve consumed. I didn’t think three glasses would make me tipsy, but I guess I was wrong.
The guys seem to be murmuring in hushed tones and talking in code as I can’t understand their conversation. I believe it has something to do with me because Craig shifts his eyes to me every now and then.
I seem surprisingly calm though, like I don’t have a care in the world. Kind of like I am floating.
I lay my head on Ryan’s shoulder and he presses his lips to my forehead. My eyes drift shut as I sigh contently.
The next thing I know, I’m being lifted. Opening my eyes, I notice Ryan is carrying me to the bedroom.
“Remember the new things we talked about earlier?” When I nod, he continues. “We are going to try something new now, okay?” his tone is so gentle I wouldn’t know it was him talking if I wasn’t looking up at him.
Ryan sets me down on the bed before lowering his mouth to kiss me. “I’ll be right back,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Okay,” I whisper back. I have no clue what we are going to be doing so I scoot further onto the bed and wait.
Ryan returns a moment later with a drink for both of us. He takes the spot right next to me on the bed as we drink. He smiles down at me and I smile back.
When my drink is almost empty he takes the cup from me, setting it on the nightstand with his.
His hand moves to my hip, tugging me closer. “I don’t want you to freak out when I tell you this, Jess, but I kind of owe Craig a favor.” My heart pounds as I wait for him to drop the bomb. “And he wants you.”
Maybe it’s all the alcohol in my veins, but I’m slightly confused. “What are you saying?”
He drops his forehead to mine. “It means that Craig wants to have sex with you.”
I stare at Ryan wondering why he is actually going through with this. “He gives me the creeps, Ryan.”
“I’m sorry, Jess,” he says, sounding pained. “It will only be this one time, I swear.”
“I thought I was your girl?” I quip.
Anger flashes in his eyes. “You are my girl, don’t ever question that. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, Jess.”
No, Ryan hasn’t done anything to hurt me, but I don’t like the fact that he will let his friends have sex with me because he owes them a favor. “Ryan, I really don’t want to do this.”
Reaching in his pocket, he pulls out a small round pill. “Here, take this, you won’t feel a thing.”
My head is swimming with all that he is saying to me.
“Please, Jess, for me?” he begs. “I’ll be in the room to make sure he doesn’t hurt you,” he assures me like it’s going to make me feel better.
“No, Ryan. I’m not doing it.”
Ryan doesn’t say anything else as he leaves the room, obviously pissed. I don’t know why Ryan thought I would agree to letting Craig have his way with me, but he’s stupid and he clearly doesn’t care for me like I thought he did.
Slipping my shoes on, I grab my bag and quietly tiptoe to the door. Cracking it open slowly, I peek through to see if I see anyone. I hear hushed murmurs to my left so I open the door a little further to see if I can see them. Craig and James have their back to me and Ryan is standing facing them. It’s now or never. I make a run for the front door, praying I make it out.
“Jess!” I hear Ryan holler.
I hurriedly unlock the door and throw it open as I break into a sprint down the hall. Thank goodness my bag isn’t heavy.
I can hear their pounding footsteps behind me and them shouting my name, but I continue to run and not look back.
Knowing my car is parked nearby, I run in the direction of it, praying I can get in and lock the doors before they get me. I’m sure glad I forget to lock my doors.
Unzipping my bag a little, I stick my hand in to search for my car keys as I grow closer. It’s not going to do me much good if I can’t leave.
My fingers touch one of my keychains and I grab hold of it. Pulling them out, I hit the unlock button on my clicker to make sure my doors are really unlocked.
Opening my door, I slide in and close the door behind me, locking them. I toss my bag in the passenger seat and crank the car. Putting it in reverse, I back out then switch it to drive, peeling out of there.
Tonight was an eye-opener for me to say the least. Never again will I put myself in that kind of situation. Lesson learned.
I need to call Faith and Cassie, but I will wait until I am further down the road for that. God, I should have listened to their warnings.
30
Bo
It’s hot as hell outside today and there isn’t much shade. I decide it’s time to take a break and call Faith. I’ve been working since six this morning and it’s going on nine now.
Walking in the house, I head straight for the kitchen. Mama is washing dishes when I enter the room.
Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, I chug it. When it’s empty, I throw it away and grab another bottle.
“You better stay hydrated today, Bo. It’s going to be a hot one,” she says.
“I will, Mama,” I assure her.
Pulling out my phone, I call Faith, wanting to hear her sweet voice. She’s been kind of down lately since Jess ran o
ff with Ryan again.
“Hey, Bo,” she greets, sounding off.
“What’s wrong, Faith?”
“Listen, I don’t have time to explain everything right now, but I promise I will when I get there. My flight is about to board.”
“Where are you going?” I ask, slightly freaking out.
“I’m coming to you, Bo. I’ll call you when I land, okay?” I’m going to rent a car so you don’t have to worry about coming to get me.”
“You’re scaring me, Faith. What’s going on?”
“I don’t have time to explain it all right now, but I promise I will when I get there. Trust me, please.”
Sighing, I run my hand through my hair. “Call me when you land, okay?”
“I will.”
I hang up with Faith, worried about her. I don’t know what has happened to make her leave school, but it must be bad. And that’s why I am worried.
“Is everything okay, Bo?” Mom asks softly with a hint of worry in her voice.
My hands scrub my face. “I don’t know. Faith is on her way here but didn’t tell me why. She said she’d explain when she got here.”
“Cassie seemed pretty upset about something earlier when she called and asked if your father was here. She and J are on their way now. Faith goes to school with Jess, right?”
“Yeah, they are roommates,” I confirm.
“Maybe they are connected?”
I hadn’t thought of that. It would kind of make sense, I guess. Faith didn’t mention Jess was coming, but then again, she didn’t say much of anything about what is going on.
“Is Dad in his office?”
“Yes, sweetie. Go talk to him,” she urges, offering a small smile.
I find Dad reading the newspaper while sipping his coffee at his desk. He looks up at me and smiles like he always does. “Did you fix the fence already?”
“Almost. I came in to get some water and I called Faith.” Since Dad used to be the chief of police, J and I always turn to him not only as a father but an authority figure. I tell Dad about my conversation with Faith and what Mom had said.
“I don’t know much, but from the little I got from Cassie this morning, Jess is in some sort of trouble and Faith might be.”
Now I am even more worried. “She didn’t say what kind of trouble?”
“No, I told them to come over and we could discuss it.”
I guess I will have to wait for my brother and Cassie to get here.
I’m not just worried about Faith, but Jess, too.
J and Cassie arrive a few minutes later with Ella, who immediately gets passed off to Dad. J takes the remaining seat in front of the desk and Cassie sits in his lap.
“Have you talked to Faith this morning, Bo?” J asks.
“Yeah, she’s on her way here, but didn’t tell me why.”
“We know why,” Cassie murmurs. She sets her phone on Dad’s desk and mashes a couple of buttons. I quickly realize she’s calling her voicemail.
Then I hear Jess’ frantic voice.
Cassie, I’m leaving Miami. Something happened with Ryan and I can’t stay. It’s not safe. I’m not sure where I will end up, but I can’t go to Brilliant because he will know to come looking for me there. Call me when you hear this, okay?
The voicemail ends and I’m stunned.
“I talked to Jess this morning and fixed it so she can stay with my parents until it’s safe,” Cassie explains.
“But I don’t understand how Faith is involved? And what happened with Ryan?”
“Jess is worried that Ryan and his friends will come after Faith to get to her. As far as what happened with Ryan, I’m not allowed to tell you.”
“And why not?” I scoff.
“She wants to tell you herself.”
Is it that bad? “I need to tell Faith about Jess if she hasn’t already figured out,” I tell them.
Ella squeals causing all of our attention to turn to her. She’s sitting on Dad’s knee, smiling, clapping her tiny hands. Having Ella around is making me want a baby in the future. Yep, I’m breaking all of my rules now.
I realize what my brother and Cassie have is special and I want a family like they have.
Faith and I are good together and I love being around her, but Jess, my heart will always beat for her.
She may be going through some things right now since she is still grieving, yet I know she will be the Jess I knew again. The old Jess always had a smile on her face, even when she was being a pain in the ass.
“I’m going to call, Jess,” I say, excusing myself.
My heart pounds in my chest as I wait for her to answer.
“Bo,” she murmurs, sounding pained.
“Hey, Jess,” I whisper, trying to find my voice. I’m always nervous talking to her for some reason.
“Has Faith made it there yet?” Of course, she knows she’s coming here, Faith probably told her.
“She’s on a plane now. She’s supposed to call me when she lands.”
“That’s good. Can one of you let me know when she makes it there?”
“We will,” I promise her. A moment of silence filters through the phone. “What happened, Jess?”
When I hear her start crying, my heart crumbles into pieces. “I’m so ashamed, Bo. I should have listened to everyone and I didn’t.”
“We all make mistakes, Jess.”
As painful as it’s probably going to be to hear her tell me, I need to know what’s going on. “Ryan had a couple of friends over to play poker. We had some drinks and everything was fine until the game ended. One of the guys there, Craig, had been giving me an uncomfortable vibe since he got there.” She pauses and I hear her take a deep breath. “Ryan carried me to the room and told me that he owed Craig a favor and Craig wanted to have sex with me. I wouldn’t do it so when I made a run for it, they chased me. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life, Bo.”
They better not show up here or I will beat their asses. “I’m so sorry, Jess. I wish I had been there.”
“It’s my fault, Bo. I should have listened to everyone when they told me to stay away from him. I was just so consumed with grief that I didn’t care. He helped numb the pain for a little while.”
It’s killing me listening to her, but she clearly trusts me enough to confide in me, so I’m listening. Maybe I should have been nicer to her, asked her how she was doing more.
When I realize I haven’t responded to her, I clear my throat and say, “We all struggle in life, Jess. Why don’t you come home? We all can help you get back to normal.”
A soft sigh filters through the phone. “I can’t, Bo. Not with Faith there. Seeing you with her is hard and I know I gave up my opportunity, but my head wasn’t in the right place then, still isn’t. So I didn’t think it would have been fair to you. You wouldn’t have understood.”
“I might have. You didn’t even give me a chance to understand. I shouldn’t have said what I did to you, and I’m sorry for that, but I finally opened my heart up to you and I was hurt that you didn’t want to be with me after everything.” I didn’t mean to spill all of that on her, especially since she’s already in an emotional state.
“Do you miss me, Bo?” she asks tentatively.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I reply, “Every damn day, Jess.”
The silence is deafening, and this time, I’m out of things to say.
“I’m going to go.”
What if I don’t want her to go? “Bye, Jess. I’m here if you need me.”
“Bye, Bo,” she whispers and hangs up.
And so, I cling to the hope that she will come home to Brilliant.
31
Bo
My mind is still reeling from what Jess told me. I want to drive down there and beat the shit out of Ryan and Craig. As much as my idea sounds appealing, it won’t bring Jess to Brilliant and it won’t solve anything. Now, if they come up here looking for her, I can’t be held responsible for my actions since they are on my
turf.
Hearing her voice stirred something inside me. I didn’t want to hang up with her as I wanted to keep listening to her.
All eyes are on me when I walk back into Dad’s office and sit down.
“Did she tell you?”
“Yeah,” I respond, despondent.
Cassie reaches over and takes my hand. “She’s going to be fine, Bo. We’ll all help her with whatever she needs.”
“How can we help her if she’s hundreds of miles away?” I ask, wishing she was here.
“She’ll come back, Bo,” J states as if he knows.
My mind is stuck on the “what if”. What if she doesn’t come back? What if she doesn’t let us help her?
I know I shouldn’t think like that, but I’m worried I won’t ever get to see her again. It would be tough as hell to get over her, too.
Sweet Thing blares from my phone, letting me know Faith is calling.
“Hey,” I answer as I walk out of the room again. I try not to sound sad or off in any way. Telling your girlfriend that you miss another woman would be hard to explain.
“Hey, cowboy. I have landed!” she says, sounding chirpy.
Hearing her happy makes me smile. “I can’t wait to see you.” And that is the truth. I’m so fucked. I have a girlfriend who is beautiful and outgoing. I love being with her. Yet, I have this gorgeous girl I miss something fierce who I can’t seem to forget about. Faith and Jess are beautiful in their own ways and each has an amazing personality. I have no idea what to do.
“Right back at you, Bo! I’m renting my car now and I’ll be on my way soon.”
“Call me when you get close, okay? I’m at Mom and Dad’s right now.”
“Okay, see you soon!”
After hanging up with Faith, I realize that I have to tell her about my history with Jess. I can’t lie to her anymore. It’s not fair to her. I have to tell her the truth and that includes my feelings for Jess, too.
Deciding I need to get back to work to keep my mind off of things, I say goodbye to everyone and head back outside into the smoldering heat. Got to love Alabama humidity.
Holding on for you (Saved #2) Page 12
