by Winter, Eden
“Samantha. Hi, how are you?” Isabelle asked.
“I’m a little tired. Long day at work, and just woke up from a nap. I’m great otherwise,” I replied.
“I hope that means you’re now well rested. Listen, what are you up to over the weekend?” my sister asked. I liked that she never beat around the bush. It was nice to know that someone straightforward was also someone who was incredibly kind always.
“Nothing that I know of. Why, what’s going on?”
“Malcolm and I were planning on leaving the parish to go to this beautiful waterfall. Would you like to come with us?”
I stopped and remembered the dream I’d just had. I knew that there was nothing to be afraid of, especially since it was a dream and nothing more. But I’m not going to lie to you, the thought scared me.
“I’d like that,” I said as calmly as I could.
“Great!” Isabelle said. She sounded so excited, and it made me smile. My phone buzzed against my ear and I pulled it away to see what was happening. I saw that I’d gotten a new text message from Peter.
“Hey listen, Iz?” I started.
“Yes, Sam?” She said it like a question.
“Do you mind if I invite someone to join us?”
*
“All set to go?” Isabelle was smiling at me through the side mirror of Malcolm’s pickup truck. I looked back at her and nodded. I sat up, wiggled forward, and wrapped my arms around the front seat that Isabelle was sitting in. I couldn’t see that she was still smiling, but I could feel it. She held onto my arms with both of her hands.
I was in a good mood that day. I knew I was still worried about getting involved in an accident, but during the dream, there were only three of us in the car. I looked over to my right and smiled at Peter. He looked so tall and lanky in the backseat. It was like he was a no-nonsense spider. I tried not to laugh at the thought of that.
Peter returned the smile. He looked so nice. His hair was tied back as usual, and he was wearing a simple black T-shirt and faded jeans. I felt a little too formal, which was the exact opposite of how I had felt the last time I saw him. My blouse was mostly lace, and I had on black capris.
“It’s a pleasure meeting you, Peter. So glad you could join us on this adventure today,” Isabelle said. She flashed him a smile, and I finally let go of her.
We were all waiting for Malcolm. He’d said he would be right back, but he never said what he was doing or where he was going. We were parked at the side of the road on the edge of town. It was a safe enough place that I wasn’t afraid that the driver of our car had been gone for a few minutes. What I was considering were the rain clouds that were forming in the direction of where it was we were supposed to be going.
“Thank you for inviting me,” he said. He was feeling a bit awkward. The two of us never got a chance to talk about what had happened the last time we were actually near each other. He had driven to my house so that Malcolm could pick us both up at the same time. We had barely gotten our hellos out before I heard the familiar purring of Malcolm’s pickup truck outside my house.
I wish I had gotten even an hour alone with Peter. It wouldn’t have felt so weird for both of us now. I knew I was more comfortable than he was because I was with my sister and I knew Malcolm, but Peter was a stranger to everyone but me… or maybe including me, based on the very little that we actually knew about each other.
“Sorry I kept everyone waiting,” Malcolm said when he hopped back into his truck and closed the door. “Buckle up and let’s get ready to go.”
I put the seatbelt back on and made sure it was nice and secure. I kept stealing glances over at Peter, each with a wide-mouthed smile. It must have freaked him out a bit. I didn’t know how to make things normal again—well, as normal as they were before the night I almost burned to death—or act fully okay around him.
“So, how did you two meet?” Isabelle asked. She was fidgeting with the radio, but she hadn’t settled on a song she liked just yet.
“I saw Peter at the grocery store and just told him hi,” I said. I didn’t have much of a flair for storytelling.
“Oh, well, that sounds nice,” Isabelle said. I knew she was going to want more details than that, but I didn’t feel comfortable giving them to her. I didn’t want to let anything slip about my visions or even about the kiss from before. I would tell her at the right time, and I would tell her when we were alone.
“What about the two of you?” Peter asked. He was trying to get the spotlight off us. I shot him a grateful look, but he didn’t see it.
“I was actually at the beach. I was looking for blue sea glass. It’s so rare, and I wanted to make some jewelry. I was so caught up with looking down at the sand that I couldn’t see this guy standing a few feet in front of me.”
Isabelle smiled over at Malcolm. I couldn’t see much of his face from where I was sitting, since his hair was covering most of his face.
“Yeah. I remember just seeing your red hair and wanting to talk to you,” he said. “It was like fire. I was so curious. I thought you were a wild one, and I was almost too afraid to ask. But now I’m really glad I did.”
A few years ago, I would have gagged. But after everything, I was truly happy for Isabelle. She found a man who cared about her and didn’t have eyes for someone else—especially not me. I hoped he wasn’t going to hurt her. It seemed like something he was incapable of, but men have a way of surprising you.
“You guys seem very happy together,” Peter said. He looked out the window he was sitting next to.
“We are,” Malcolm said. His hand wandered from his side to the passenger seat. Isabelle took it, and I smiled. I didn’t know what to say after something like that. It seemed like an intimate moment, and I almost felt like I was intruding because I had witnessed it.
The car fell quiet. I hoped Isabelle wasn’t doing this on purpose just so she could get me to start a conversation. It’s not that I didn’t know what to say, it was that everything I wanted to say to anyone in the car was supposed to be said in private. I needed to talk to Peter about our kiss and more about how he was connected to the visions I had. I needed to talk to Isabelle to tell her about my powers and how they ran in our family. And I was going to have a talk with Malcolm when it involved my sister. She had no doubt told him about Alex. Neither of them mentioned it, but it was just something that I felt must have happened.
Eventually, my sister found a radio station she liked and settled with it. She was humming along to the music and Malcolm was quietly driving. They would sometimes exchange an inside joke or start a conversation, but they seemed totally content whenever there was silence. I, on the other hand, thought that since we were in a group, we should probably spend our time having group conversations. But I relaxed a bit. Like Malcolm, Peter would sometimes talk to me about what he saw outside, and he asked if I had any tattoos. Then, he told me what each of the visible ones meant to him. I was less anxious but still nervous enough to not start any true conversations of my own.
I was getting tired while we drove. It was a sudden wave of fatigue. I had been pretty awake during most of the drive. Isabelle said that it would take us a while to get to where it was we wanted to go, and I didn’t think that a quick nap would have been such a bad idea.
The music she had chosen was so soothing and was lulling me to sleep. The road was smooth enough that I knew I wouldn’t be jolted out of my slumber at random. My eyelids were getting heavy, and I knew that I was going to give in sooner or later. I stifled a yawn, but not too long after that, I was drifting off into a beautiful sleep.
I was under water. I sensed I wasn’t too deep in the water, but it was deep enough that I wasn’t sure which way the surface was. There was a dim light coming from one direction, and I swam toward it. When I broke water, I gasped in the sweetest air. I couldn’t see any land around me. It was nighttime, and I didn’t know what body of water it was that I was in.
I saw a flash under the water, and I gasped. It
wasn’t a flash at all. It was a long golden light that was moving in one direction. It should have scared me, but I followed it. I let myself sink into the water before swimming toward the bright light. It was almost twice as long as I was from what I could see. It was going deeper, and there was no way I would be able to follow it for much longer without going back up to take a breath.
Then, the long light stopped. It looked like it was turning to face me. I was still calm. In my dream, I already knew what it was. I knew I was going to expect it. I was about to float up to the surface to get more air and maybe try to swim back down, but I took in a breath. A breath… Underwater.
I could breathe!
I was too afraid to take in a long breath in case the water would suck into my nose and mouth to drown me, but I was breathing. I no longer needed to swim or kick in order to stay put. It was a peaceful deep blue silence. The golden light was getting closer to me, and then it stopped and turned again. It was in front of me, and it was swimming by my face.
It was a giant royal blue fish. Even in the darkness under the blue water, I could tell the distinct color of the fish. It looked like there were patches of a paler blue underneath it. It was like it was originally that light blue and then someone came with a sponge and dabbed the fish with the royal blue color until it covered all of the lighter shade. I could only see the difference in color because each scale of the fish was lined with a gold trim. On occasion, the gold lining around each of its scales glowed, and so did the golden fin that was on top of the fish. It was lit up to guide me to it. The fish was perfectly round, and it moved so slowly through the water. It was so big that I knew my arm span wouldn’t cover one side of the large fish.
I couldn’t believe that I was staring at it. I stayed where I was, mystified. I realized it was the fish that was giving my breathing abilities. I felt more like I was floating on air instead of floating under the deep blue water.
“Samantha,” I heard a soft voice inside my mind. I looked around to see if there was anyone near me. The fish’s mouth didn’t move.
“Yes?” I whispered a reply. I didn’t say the words out loud. I did my best to try to communicate with my mind.
“Samantha,” was all the fish said in return. I was puzzled in my dream, but I began to swim away. I was going in the direction of the surface. I was now craving the sweet taste of air. I had swum only a few strokes when something jerked me forward.
But this wasn’t a part of my dream. The moment I lurched forward, my eyes shot open, and I heard a scream. This whole scene was familiar to me.
There were trees lining the road, a smooth journey, and now a familiar enough song. I had lived this experience before. But it was impossible. That had been a dream. My dream wasn’t a vision or a warning—it was just a dream.
I didn’t have time to act or even think. I closed my eyes just as quickly as I had opened them. I heard the screeching of tires and felt my body slamming this way and that as the pickup truck spun out of control.
I didn’t open my eyes again until Malcolm’s pickup had completely stopped. I could hear heavy breathing from all around, but everyone seemed to be okay. The dream I’d had stopped before I could talk to anyone else in the car. No one was screaming, and that could have been a good thing or a bad thing.
“Is everyone all right?” It was Isabelle’s voice. Her voice was quivering, but it didn’t sound like she was in any pain.
“I’m fine,” Peter said. I didn’t look at him.
“I’m okay, babe,” I heard Malcolm say. My eyes were focused directly in front of me, and all I could do was breathe. One of my hands was pressed up against the window next to me, and the other was on the middle of the car seat.
“Sam?” Isabelle asked. “Sam, are you okay?”
I still hadn’t processed what had happened. To have dreamt of all of this, then to have another dream just before having a near death experience. There was so much that I needed to process in this moment.
“Are you okay, bunny?”
That was when I looked up.
“Bunny?” I asked when I looked at Malcolm. He was looking right at me.
“No. I’m sorry. I said honey,” he said. “But you’re okay? Does anything seem broken?”
I stared blankly at Malcolm.
“I’m fine,” I said. I did several half blinks while looking at him. I know what I heard. He didn’t say honey at all.
A flood of confusing daydreams came back to me like a jumbled pile. So many unwanted memories were still stuck in my brain. Malcolm called me bunny. And no one had ever called me that except…
“Sam,” Peter said. He reached over and placed his hand on top of mine.
“I’m okay. I just… Can I go home?” I asked.
“I think the car is still working. I can take you,” Malcolm offered.
I nodded without looking at him. There were no cars around us and there was no one to call and rescue me, but I wanted to be out of this pickup and as far away from wherever this place was as soon as humanly possible.
“Would you like me to stay with you?” asked Peter. He wanted to spend time with me. His car was at my house, but he was offering to stay to make sure I wouldn’t feel scared or alone.
“I would,” I said. “I really, really would.”
*
I didn’t feel like myself on the entire journey back to my house. My body was like a shell, and it was like my soul had been renewed and placed back into a body that was only familiar to me because of memories instead of real experiences. If I spoke—which I didn’t do much of once the pickup truck turned around—my voice no longer felt like my own. There were too many thoughts and fears that were inside of me.
“Are you going to be okay, Sam?”
Isabelle had stepped out of the pickup truck. I couldn’t see any visible scratches or dents on it. No one had made mention of what could have caused the accident. We kept using the words ‘okay’ and ‘fine’ and ‘are you sure?’. It was so messy.
“I’m already okay,” I said. I closed my eyes as I gave my sister a smile and a hug. There was nothing in her eyes that said she was convinced. I was fully aware of why it was she was extra worried about me, but I hadn’t paid much attention to the fact that this was my second car accident in about a year. She was doing more than checking to see if I was hurt. I realized she wanted to know if this accident had stirred up any of the supposedly dormant emotions from the last year. Those emotions were never totally dormant, and though it certainly brought up that issue, there was more to my silence and being pensive and worried.
I wasn’t going to say anything about my dreams or about Malcolm. I had thought that now was the right time to tell my sister about the visions, but everything was piling up, and I didn’t know where to go. So, I was going to go home.
I looked up at the sky and saw no inclement weather. Wherever it was we were supposed to be going, we were at least spared that rainstorm.
“Call me if there is anything at all you need. No matter the time,” Isabelle said. She yanked me into another hug, and this time she didn’t let go for a good long while. It was like the hug she gave me when she went to the hospital after my previous car accident. It was her ‘I never want to lose you’ hug. I decided to cherish it.
“You can call me anytime too. Please get home safe.” I was looking at Malcolm when I spoke. He was still in his pickup. He was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He was probably listening to some music on the radio. He seemed to be fine about our near-death experience. I said nothing about that. His demeanor just seemed off with me because I had now become suspicious of him.
“Take care of her Peter,” Isabelle said. She waved at him and got back into the pickup. Neither Peter nor I said anything until the pickup truck was driving down the road and was almost out of view.
“I could go if you want,” Peter said. His hand was in his pocket, and I could hear the jingling sound of his car keys.
“Do you want to go?” I aske
d.
He shook his head.
“But I don’t want to impose if you’re not in the mood for company.”
Peter was so polite. I was beginning to realize that his serious face wasn’t angry at all. It was just how his face was. It was his natural expression. It seemed warmer to me now that I had realized that. The angles of his face no longer looked rigid and unfriendly. Now, they looked strong and wise.
“You wouldn’t be imposing. I’d really like it if you came in,” I said. I led him inside and shut the door. It was incredible how silent the world was now. There was no sound coming from anywhere. I wasn’t sure what to say to change that.
I wasn’t in the mood to talk, if I was being totally honest, but every break in conversation brought up my wild thoughts. I needed a distraction now more than ever. I had to keep my thoughts at bay.
We had almost died. My dream hadn’t just been a dream after all. How was I ever going to tell the difference between a dream and a vision? And did that therefore mean the dream I had in the car with the fish of Cesar was going to come to fruition? I hadn’t thought about that fish since grade school. The only time it was brought up was when I fell into the lake and everyone was talking about what it was I could have seen. I could have shrugged it off and said that it was just my subconscious stirring up old memories, but after what happened today, I knew better.
If my dreams could be more than just dreams then that meant the legendary fish of Cesar was actually real, and it meant I was going to encounter it face to face. I was going to need to figure out what that meant—not just the dream, but why it was I was going to meet it. I could only guess that it needed something from me, or I needed something from it.
“Are you okay? You look like you’re about to collapse,” Peter said. I was more shaken up by the accident than he was. I wasn’t just scared about getting hurt, but I was freaking out about my dream, and also freaking out because I could have sworn I heard Malcolm call me ‘bunny’ right after the car stopped swerving. There was only one person in the world who had ever called me that. How did Malcolm know? He probably did say ‘honey,’ and my paranoia was just getting in the way.
