by E. L. Todd
Sean didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry, Scarlet.”
“It doesn’t bother you if I’m alone with him?”
“No,” he said. “I trust you, Scarlet. I know you love me and he loves Monnique. I don’t feel anything between you, or at least I hope there isn’t.”
“There is nothing.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Okay.”
“Sean, it’s important to me that you get along. I love my family.”
He sighed. “I said I wouldn’t argue with him or comment about anything. I won’t be disrespectful either. But you can’t make me like him. I’m sorry, Scar. You should be thankful that I’m giving you that. If Ryan weren’t in the middle of this mess, I would ask you to stop seeing him. But since I know how important they are to you, I’ll let it go.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
“Yeah.”
“What’s next on the list?”
“I’m quitting my job tomorrow.”
“Good.”
“It might be a few weeks until I find another.”
“You don’t need to work at all, Sean. I have plenty of money.”
He smiled. “Thanks, but no thanks. I won’t change my mind about this.”
I sighed. I knew how stubborn he was about this topic. He was too traditional to stay at home. “Take all the time you need. Find something you enjoy, Sean.”
He nodded. “So, I guess we should talk about the wedding.” I could tell he wasn’t looking forward to this conversation by the sound of his voice.
“Yeah,” I said sadly.
“What do you want to do?”
“I get a choice?”
“I won’t make you do something that you don’t want to do, Scar.”
“I know.”
“So, I came up with an idea. Let me know what you think.”
I looked at him.
“What if we get married here just like you wanted. It will be just us, Cortland, Ryan, Janice and Monnique. Then, we’ll fly to Connecticut and do it again. We’ll already be legally married, but my family doesn’t have to know that. The real thing can be just us.”
I felt the tears bubble under my eyes. I couldn’t believe Sean was willing to lie to his whole family for me. “No.”
He raised an eyebrow. “No? I can’t come up with a better solution than that.”
“Sean, the reason why I don’t want to have a big wedding is—for a lot of reasons. I don’t have a dad to walk me down the aisle. I don’t have a mom either. And you know how crazy she is. She’ll find out about the wedding and come to sabotage it and embarrass me. It’s hard for me to be around your family because it makes me feel like a failure. And since I don’t even know most of the people, they’ll just be commenting on the plane incident, or the fact that my mother is crazy, or whatever it is.”
He leaned in and kissed me on the forehead. “I understand your feelings, babe. But I want you to know something.”
“What?”
“My family doesn’t think less of you. They love you. In fact, they think you are too good for me.”
“Really?”
“Just ask my dad.”
I smiled.
“And Scar?”
“What?”
“I know it hurts you that you don’t have a family, but that doesn’t matter anymore. I’m your family. I will always take care of you and love you. I will be the mother you never had. And my family is your family now. Please don’t feel embarrassed about where you come from. All that doesn’t matter anymore.” He squeezed my hand. “And I’ll have security looking for your mom in the front. If she really wants to try anything, she’ll have a really hard time.”
I smiled. “I love you.”
“I know,” he said. “So, if you don’t want to get married in Connecticut, then why don’t you want to get married here?”
“I couldn’t do that to you, Sean. I know you want your parents to be there.”
“And my best man.”
“Who’s your best man?”
“My brother.”
“Really?”
He sighed. “I know we aren’t close, but we used to be. I would like to honor that relationship even if it’s dead. Also, I know it would mean a lot to my parents if my brother was the best man.”
“But it’s your day.”
“No, it’s yours,” he said. “And I want to give you whatever you want. Let’s have a secret wedding and not tell anyone about it. No one will ever know the truth.”
“I can’t do that, Sean.”
“I want to.”
“Well, invite your parents and brother. Just tell them to keep it a secret.”
“I’m not sure if they would.”
“Talk to your dad first.”
Sean nodded. “I’ll see what they think.” He stared at me for a moment. “And thanks, babe. I do want my parents to be there.”
“I know.”
He kissed me on the cheek. “I think we got everything.”
I laughed. “I think so too.”
“Wait.”
I felt my heart fall. “What?”
“What are we going to do about Ryan?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I slept with Janice. I think he should know.”
“No,” I said. “There’s no point.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he didn’t even know Janice when you slept with her. He has no right to be mad. And secondly, he’s a total slut. He’s not going to care.”
“I think he would. I know he would.”
“Did he say something to you?”
“When he came over here, he said he’d want to know if Janice slept with someone he knew.”
I sighed. “Don’t, Sean. It’s just going to make things awkward between you. Now you and Cortland aren’t close, and then you won’t be close with Ryan. He may hate you.”
“That’s for him to decide.”
“Don’t say anything, Sean.”
He sighed. “Have Janice talk to him.”
“I can’t tell her what to do.”
“So she doesn’t want him to know?”
“Not particularly.”
He shook his head.
“You better not say anything.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Okay.”
“It isn’t your business to mess with their relationship. This is the first good thing that’s happened to Ryan, and I don’t want him to mess it up and start acting like a jealous lunatic.”
“He’s your brother, Scar. You really aren’t going to tell him?”
“I have his best interest at heart.”
“That scares me, Scar.”
“Please don’t assume that I’m going to do the same thing to you. The situations are different. You know that.”
“Okay.”
“Are we done now?”
“No.”
“Damn.”
“It really makes me uncomfortable when you say mean things about my mom. She meant well, really.”
I sighed. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” I said. “I was just overreacting.”
“Okay. That makes me feel better.”
“I love your family, Sean. Even your brother. Well, not right now, but I did at one point.”
He laughed. “I really don’t know if that relationship will ever be mended. I think it’s a lost cause.”
“I think he would be there for you if you needed him.”
“I sincerely doubt it, Scar.”
“Well, he’s going to be your best man even though he doesn’t want to.”
“Only because my parents will ask him to be.”
“I still think you can work it out.”
“I tried.”
I kissed him on the cheek. “Well, that’s all you can do.”
“I suppose.”
Now that our conversation was over, I looked around the room. “So, now that we are done with that, I
can be a bitch, right?”
He laughed. “What?”
“Clean up this mess.”
He laughed again. “Damn. I forgot that the wife likes this place to be clean.”
“Damn right I do.”
28
“How’d it go?” I asked from the couch. I was sitting in my pajamas with the computer on the table.
Sean dropped his bag next to the door. “Fine. My boss was surprised. He really liked me.”
“Did he ask why you quit?”
“Yeah. I just said that I felt that I had expired my potential at the company.” He sat next to me on the couch.
I raised an eyebrow. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s some bullshit I made up.”
I laughed. “So, how’s the job search?”
He took his jacket and tie off then threw them on the couch. “Uh, I haven’t looked.”
“Good,” I said. “You should be lazy for a little while.”
He smiled. “I won’t be annoying you all day?”
“Well, I didn’t say that.”
“I’ll try to stay out of your way.”
I cuddled into his side. “No, I love being with you.”
He kissed me on the head. “Thanks.”
“So, what did that stupid whore say?”
He laughed at the hostility in my voice. “Nothing.”
“She didn’t say anything?”
“I didn’t see her. I just went to the office and dropped off the papers. Then, I left.”
“Good.”
“You don’t need to be jealous, babe. That bitch is out of my life forever.”
“Can you work somewhere that only employs men?”
He laughed. “Like a mechanic?”
“Yes!” I said excitedly. “Do that!”
I laughed. “I’m not into cars.”
“Be a stay at home husband.”
“I don’t like that idea either.”
“Be a professional finger master.”
“What the hell is that?”
I glanced down to his fingers. “You know what that means.”
He laughed. “So, you want me to charge women to finger them?”
“No,” I said as I hit him on the shoulder. “It would just be me.”
“So, I would be your sex slave?”
“It comes with benefits.”
He laughed loudly. “That does sound tempting. I’ll think about it.”
“Even comes with a 401K.”
“It keeps getting better.”
I leaned into him and snuggled next to him.
“Babe, I’m going to get up.”
“Where are you going?”
He smiled. “I’m going to change. I hate wearing a suit for any amount of time.”
“Okay.”
He walked away into the hallway.
The phone rang on the table. I answered it.
“Hello?”
“Hey, what’s happening?” Ryan asked.
“Nothing.”
“Everything okay over there?”
“Yeah. We’re great. We were just watching television.”
“So you aren’t coming back over here?”
“No.”
“Yes!” He turned away from the phone and spoke to Janice. “She isn’t coming!”
I rolled my eyes. “You guys are assholes.”
He laughed. “Sorry, Scar.”
“And you know you miss me.”
“I really don’t.”
“Whatever.”
“So, everything is fine with Sean?”
“Yeah, we’re very happy.”
“So, did you figure out the wedding situation?”
“Yes, we’re going to have a secret wedding with just us and his parents, then do another in Connecticut. That’s a fair compromise.”
“It sounds good. I’m glad you figured it out.”
“Me, too.”
“So, am I going to walk you down the aisle?”
“I don’t know.”
“What? Then what the hell am I going to do? I’m not in the wedding?”
“Calm down! For not missing me you sure seemed to be concerned about me.”
He laughed. “I just want to know what’s going on.”
“Well, we haven’t planned anything yet.”
“You know people plan ahead. Maybe you guys should try it.”
“Fuck you.”
He laughed. “Seriously, am I not in it?”
“Well, I wanted to ask you this in person, but you ruined that.”
“What?” he asked excitedly.
“I want you to be my maid of honor.”
Ryan was quiet for a moment. “What the hell? I’m not a girl, Scar.”
“I realize that. I’m not as dumb as you think.”
“And I’m not wearing a dress. And I’m definitely not helping you plan a stupid wedding.”
“You’re my best friend, Ryan. There’s no better choice. I want it to be you.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Do I get to wear a tuxedo?” I heard the smile in his voice.
“Yes.”
“Alright. I’ll do it.”
“Thank you. That took a lot of convincing.”
He laughed. “Well, it’s a shitty job.”
“Don’t be an ass.”
“Scar, I’m totally kidding. I’m honored that you asked me.”
I smiled. “I know.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay.”
“Bye, Scar.”
“Bye.”
Sean came back into the room wearing his gym shorts and a shirt. “Talking to Ryan?”
“Yes.”
“What did he say?”
“He agreed to be my maid of honor.”
Sean laughed. “Poor guy.”
I pinched his side.
“So, what do you want to do today?”
“I just want to lie on the couch and cuddle while we watch television.”
“That sounds perfect to me,” he said. “I got a stack of take-out menus on the counter.”
“I’ll still cook dinner.”
“Oh thank god,” he said. “I don’t think I can eat out anymore.”
I laughed. “What would you do without me?”
His eyes became serious. “I don’t know.”
I turned away and grabbed the remote. We spent the afternoon curled up on the couch. I fell asleep a few times and so did Sean. After the rocky last two weeks we had, we just needed to be together. Just lying next to him was enough to dull the ache in my heart. We were back to normal and I was happy again. It made me realize that running away wasn’t an option. I couldn’t live without Sean. I would do whatever I could to make this relationship work. I was thankful he was willing to put up with my bullshit.
Sometime after five, there was a knock on the door. I flinched at the unexpected sound. Sean yawned then got to his feet. He always answered the door when we were home. He never let me do it. And if I was home alone, I wasn’t allowed to answer it either.
When he opened the door, his body stiffened.
Maria was on the doorstep and she looked upset. I stood from the couch and I was about to walk over to her so I could punch her in the face, but Sean held up his hand without looking at me. He knew exactly how I would react.
“Why are you here?” he asked.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?”
“Okay.”
She looked awkward. “In private.”
“No,” I said.
Sean didn’t look at me. “I have nothing to say to you, Maria. Please leave and don’t come back.”
“I just want to talk.”
I stood next to Sean and wrapped my arm around his waist. “About what exactly?”
Sean wrapped his arm around me then kissed my forehead. “She knows I’m yours, Scar.
She gets it.”
I continued to glare at her.
Maria ignored me. “It will only take a minute.”
Sean shook his head. “The last time you came over here, it made it look like I was having an affair with you. I won’t do that to my fiancé again. You can either talk to me while she’s here, or don’t talk to me at all.”
Maria glanced at my face then looked back at Sean. “Why did you quit?”
“I don’t want to work there anymore,” he said.
“But why?”
He stared at her. “It wasn’t a comfortable environment.”
She glanced at me then back at him. “I hope it wasn’t because of me.”
“Well, it was,” Sean said. “Are we done now?”
“I’m sorry about everything. I don’t want you to lose your job over it.”
I glared at her. “He doesn’t need a job. We’re fine without it.”
Sean nodded. “We don’t need the income.”
Maria continued to stare at him. “Well, if you ever want to talk or grab a cup of coffee, let me know.”
I felt my anger shoot out of my eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
Sean tightened his arm around my waist. “Goodbye, Maria.”
She stared at Sean. “And let me know when this doesn’t work out.”
I tried to run for her but Sean pulled me back. He slammed the door before I could reach her. He barricaded it with his body, inhibiting my route.
“I can’t believe that bitch,” I said. Steam was blowing out of my ears.
“Let it go.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? If some guy said the same thing to me, you would be livid. You would give him a worse beating than you did Carl.”
“Well, you’re a better person, babe.”
“Not right now.”
He grabbed my face and kissed me. “What are we going to do when we go to bed tonight?”
I was quiet for a moment, unsure what he was asking. “Make love.”
He nodded. “And what about tomorrow night?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Make love.”
“Do you see where I’m going with this?”
I nodded.
“It’s you and me forever, babe. There’s no one else.”
“You’re right.”
He smiled. “I’m always right.”
29
Sean
“Did you masturbate when I was gone?”
I dropped my fork. “What?”
“We were apart for a while. I was just curious.”
I suddenly felt uncomfortable. Scarlet had never asked me a question like that before. She knew I jerked off but we never talked about it before. I decided not to answer her. I finished my spaghetti while I averted my gaze.
