I pull a face at him. “Then what?”
“Just lie down, would you?”
I follow him down, stretching out next to him. The carpet is warm and soft, the slightest bit itchy on my skin. Eric slips on his glasses. My head feels heavy.
“Now tell me why one would need a screen when you can watch it like this.”
On the ceiling, images start to appear. I slip the glasses onto my face as a montage of shooting stars zoom overhead, like I am looking at an actual sky. The lights in the baseboards dim slightly to enhance the images, and if it weren’t for the soft touch of the carpet on the backs of my legs, I could have been fooled into believing that we are outside somewhere, star gazing. After a minute or so, the stars fade out and change to the Northern Lights, the aurora borealis, shimmering across the room. The lights hover above the ceiling, in the space between our heads, expanding and retracting. It’s like being in the ocean, swimming just below the surface. The room is luminescent, greens and blues shimmering against the black of the sky.
“Cool, huh? Eric says. His wrist grazes my knuckles. Sparks go off between us. He doesn’t seem to notice this time. I can’t speak a word. I am enchanted. I cannot tear my eyes away.
Eric moves his head closer to mine, and whispers to me. “This is my favourite part. This is all Charlie.”
The images change once again, and this time a galaxy of stars blinks back at us. I think I gasp. They are like fireflies, twinkling so close to my face I think that I can simply catch one if I reach out. I don’t want to move, though, scared I might break the illusion. Images of galaxies that I didn’t even know existed flash in front of me, portraits in startling oranges and reds, blues entwined with greens, stars and planets winking and sparkling in the darkness around them.
“Have you ever seen anything more spectacular?”
I have never seen stars so bright before, or so many condensed into one space. I know, of course, that it isn’t live, that it’s not happening at this exact moment, but lying here, seeing them right in front of my eyes, I almost choke on my tears.
“Charlie’s been telling me stories about these galaxies that are out there. He says that there are literally billions more. Can you believe that? I mean, how does that even work? When we think about it, we usually only consider our own galaxy, you know, with the planets and the sun. Now there are an unconceivable number of places that our eyes will never see.”
I keep my eyes upward, yet enthralled with everything Eric is saying. I could listen to him speak for days. “I mean, if you believe Charlie, life is not just confined to our small planet, this little galaxy, no matter how big it may seem sometimes.”
The sequence changes back to the shooting stars, and I blink back to reality, my body solid against the ground but my soul fighting to get out of my ribcage.
“It’s humbling to know that we’re only specks. Just blimps on the radar.” Eric pauses for some reason, while I wait for his voice. “I don’t think there is anything more challenging than being a human being, though. I don’t know how we do it.”
I start crying then, my tears cascading down the sides of my face, hot droplets trickling into the caves of my ears. I can hear Eric breathing and, somewhere, the whirr of the projector as it works.
Eric props onto one elbow and removes the 3D glasses to look at me. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“You didn’t.” I shake my head. “It wasn’t you.”
He reaches his fingertips to my face and lifts off the glasses to wipe at the last of my tears. “Do you want to go?”
“No.”
The Northern Lights come back on and Eric lies down beside me again. I think about reaching for his hand, anchoring us both to this moment, or anchoring myself to him to keep from floating away. My hand shakes with the effort, but through the darkness I find it without trouble. Comets shoot between our fingers.
“Eric?”
“Yes?”
“Can I stay here forever?”
His hand is warm in mine. It seems like hours before he answers. “You can stay as long as you need.”
Time passes by slowly. I don’t know how long I spend watching the stars and the lights and wondering where in between these magnificent beings I belong. I am a speck, for sure, and I feel like I could possibly be the littlest speck of them all.
“Eric!”
Eric and I both jump at the sound of the voice. Eric gets up from the floor and aims the remote at the ceiling, which makes the lights flicker on and the images disappear. I raise myself from the floor slowly, getting reacquainted with the upright world.
A guy in his late twenties is staring at us from the doorway, his hand still on the doorknob, peering into the room intently through his spectacles.
“Charlie. Jesus. You scared me,” Eric says, fixing his shirt.
“What the hell, man? You can’t be in here by yourself. I told you,” he says, with a slight Mexican accent. His eyebrows are drawing together. “You can’t bring your girlfriends here anymore. Not after what happened last time.”
“She’s not...” Eric starts. He looks at me, and then gives up on telling Charlie that we aren’t together. “You’re right. I’m sorry. That’s my bad.”
“Your bad?” Charlie says, and steps into the room. “Oh, hell no. Get out of my goddamn house and give me back my mother loving key. I’ve had it with this bullshit.”
Eric hangs his head. Charlie looks pissed. I am very uncomfortable.
The tension in the room becomes so palpable I’m sure something awful is about to happen. And then it does. Charlie breaks out in laughter, and a few seconds later, Eric joins in.
I look back and forth at them, confused, trying to catch up.
“You should have seen the look on your face, querida,” Charlie says to me, walking towards us with a big smile on his face. “So serious.” He envelops Eric in a bear hug. “Up to your old tricks again, I see.”
Eric shakes his head. “No, no tricks. I just wanted to show her your work.”
Charlie, who is honey skinned and younger than I thought he would be, tracks his eyes toward me. “Hey, cutie. How you doing?”
I smile at him. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Charlie, this is Abby.” Eric introduces us.
Charlie’s handshake is strong. He curtsies, which looks hilarious, and kisses my hand. “Nice to meet you, mi amor. Welcome to my lovely, yet sort of empty, home.”
“Thank you. Your house is magnificent.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Magnificent, you say? And with such a lovely accent. I know it well.” He touches my shoulder. “I love South Africa. I have a friend who owns a vacation house in Camps Bay.”
I try to say something in return about that statement, but Charlie doesn’t stop speaking for a while. He goes on about a lot of things. He rambles off a story about being on safari and eating wildebeest, and then he switches to tales about being too much of a wimp to join his friends during a white shark cage diving trip in False Bay. I give up trying to follow the conversation a little later and watch the banter between him and Eric. First it’s just about the aquarium, work related issues that I don’t follow. Then Charlie lists off a few things that they still need to finish in the room, using technical jargon that flies right over my head. Eric makes notes on his phone, updating his calendar to inform him when everything needs to be finished. When there’s some stillness, a breath in the air that Charlie’s been using up, the quiet echoes around us for the first time.
“Anything else you need, Charlie?” Eric asks and shoots me a sly look to walk towards the door. I start to take small steps toward it.
“Hey, do you guys want to stay for lunch?” Charlie asks suddenly, just before I can make a break for it. “I got takeout coming in the near future. I ordered some food before I got here, but who knows with those delivery guys, right?”
Eric waves him off. “Nah, that’s alright, Charlie. Thank you, though. I promised Abby we’d go to the bea
ch.”
“Why go to the beach when you can hang out on my boat?” Charlie says, enthused, his eyes glistening behind his glasses. “Oh, wait. No. No, the boat’s being cleaned today. You should see that place after last night. It looks like a crime scene or something. I mean, no one died but, God, my friends are pigs.”
Eric laughs, and the sound melts my bones a little. “Maybe next time.”
We navigate the house again, and Charlie takes it upon himself to inform me of the history behind one of the paintings hanging in his living room. I nod and smile for ten minutes, feigning interest, until Eric insists that we have to get back.
“I’m going to dream about you and your brown eyes tonight, Abby.” Charlie says, pulling me into a hug before I have time to react.
“Um...okay.”
Eric smiles secretly behind him.
“This one’s a keeper,” Charlie says to Eric as they say goodbye.
“See you soon, Charlie.”
“Drive safe, you crazy kids.” Charlie says, finally letting us go and walking us to the door. “Make good choices.” He says, and watches us from his front door as we enter the Jeep. “And remember; keep your eyes to the sky!”
Charlie waves goodbye to us until we pull out onto the street. Eric smiles at me, an apology dangling on his lips.
“I was not prepared for Charlie,” I say, the passenger seat warm on the back of my thighs.
“No one ever is. He’s a great guy, though.”
“I get the slightest impression that he might be a little lonely.”
Eric nods, turning onto the freeway. “I think so, but he tries to hide it by over talking.”
“So what happened last time?” I ask, reaching through the open window the lace my fingers with the wind.
“Huh?”
“When Charlie came in, he made that joke about not bringing your girlfriends to his house anymore. Was that a joke too?”
Eric shrugs. “It’s nothing, really. Nothing worth explaining, anyway.”
“Damn.”
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s just that my feelings are kind of hurt.” I say, nudging him to let him know I’m teasing. “Here I thought I was special, only to find out that you do this with all the girls.”
“It’s not a big deal. I played around with some lights at the aquarium once.” Eric says, shifting in his seat. “And it was only one girl.”
I nod. “Right.”
Eric slips on his sunglasses, hiding his eyes from me. “Hey, did you bring those donuts? I could kill a couple of them right now.”
He’d left them at the apartment, so he drives us to In-N-Out Burger to get lunch. I let him order for me since I don’t know anything about the menu, and we eat in the parking lot. The food is good, but I can only finish half of the burger. Eric finishes his meal, stealing some of my fries, before heading back to the apartment.
When we pull up, Luna is sitting on the front steps, waiting.
“Crap,” Eric says, with a heavy sigh.
I smile at him. “She’s determined, that’s for sure.”
Luna stands to greet us when we approach. She’s in a sundress and sandals, her long hair kissing her elbows.
“What do you want this time?” Eric asks, calm.
Luna smiles at both of us, a little pressed. “I actually wanted to take you out to lunch, but I see that you already ate,” she says, gesturing to the burger bag in my hand. “Hello, Abby. Nice to see that you’re still around.”
I feel awkward standing with them, knowing how Eric feels about her.
“You’ve been ignoring my messages and calls,” Luna says to Eric. “So I thought I’d come over personally and speak with you.”
“I’m not really in the mood right now, Luna. It’s been a weird morning.”
Eric makes a start to move, but Luna interjects. “Please. I just need a few minutes. Ten, tops.”
Eric sighs. I use this as a perfect opportunity to push him to go hear her out.
“You two should go somewhere. You have the day off so you might as well do something. I mean, it wouldn’t hurt, right?”
I shoot Eric a look, and smile at Luna. She seems surprised at my suggestion, but also very relieved. Eric keeps looking between us, in the throes of a decision.
“I solemnly swear that I will not go anywhere. I’ll lock the door and pretend I’m not there if anyone comes by.”
Luna looks confused, but Eric has the start of a smile on his lips.
“Wait. We were supposed to go to the beach. I forgot.”
I’d forgotten too. I realize that Eric is looking for a way out. I almost give in.
“See,” Luna says, before I can help him out. “It’s fate. Instead of you going to the beach, you can come with me.”
Eric looks at me. I shrug.
“Fine.” He says and hands me the keys to the apartment. “I won’t be long.”
Luna shoots me a grateful glance. “Do you want to go for a walk? We could take my car?” she asks sweetly.
I excuse myself and head inside before I hear Eric’s answer. I lock myself inside the apartment as promised, and stand by the windows. Eric and Luna are gone by the time I look out. His Jeep is still parked in the street. They had either walked or taken Luna’s car as she’d suggested.
I sit on the couch for a while, in the quiet of the apartment, until I suddenly realise that Eric had forgotten to give me his cell phone, and I had forgotten to call Ben.
A Brief History Lesson – 8 Months Ago
A few months before I left, I started buying maps.
The first time I held one in my hands, still folded and covered in plastic, but scribed with the word ‘Portugal’ on the front, I got sucked into a daydream so surreal that my mother had a worried look on my face after she managed to rouse me from my stupor. I went home and spread out the map on my coffee table, tracing my finger along the blue and green lines portraying oceans and lakes in places I would never set a foot. I was a novice at reading maps, had only done so briefly during my geography classes in high school, but the more maps I accumulated, the better I became at grasping the nuances of the gradients and the coordinates of the pages in front of me.
One Saturday a few weeks later, I was hunched over one of my maps, daydreaming, when Benjamin walked in from the bright Cape Town afternoon. He looked overwhelmed by the heat. I could smell sunshine on his skin.
“Where are we going this time, Abs?” he asked, hanging his car keys on one of the hooks near the door.
I smiled at him. “Right now Mexico sounds pretty good.”
“Good God, woman,” he said, kissing me on the cheek before slumping down in one of the chairs at the table I was commandeering. “Aren’t you sick of all the heat? Go someplace cool or snowy and I’ll consider coming with you.”
Benjamin didn’t know what I was planning. No one did. I couldn’t say for sure if I even knew what I was planning, but it had started at that table a few weeks before, with an atlas of Belize I had bought at a local bookshop while browsing their poetry section.
“Where’s Nina?” I asked, pausing my escape planning to pour Ben a glass of Coke.
“Shopping,” Ben said, glugging down half of the glass in one swift motion. “You want to go watch a movie or something?”
I shrugged, content with sitting with my maps for the rest of the day. I traced a finger over the red lines of the Mexican mountains.
“Your enthusiasm flatters me.”
I looked up at Ben. He looked tired. I knew that he worked all week, and rarely had time to himself on weekends. Nina usually had him doing something around the new house, or out buying something for the new house, or he would be sitting in front of the computer thinking of ways to make it easier to pay for the new house. His offer to spend a few hours away from everything in a dark movie theatre was probably just what he needed.
“Okay, Benji. I’ll go watch a movie with you. Or we can go to the beach and cool off?”
Ben
pulled a face. He liked the beach, but not on sweltering days like this when it was bound to be packed. “That’s alright. Let’s just stay here. Tell me about the places you want to go.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Thrill my socks off.”
I pulled out a map of South America, one that already had notes and scribbles on the margins from previous readings. Ben moved to the couch in the living room and lay down like he was about to go to sleep.
“Okay, Benjamin Southey,” I said, cutting my finger on the sharp edge of the map, drawing blood. “Let me tell you a little about Venezuela.”
Chapter Seven
Eric is gone longer than I expect. Two and a half hours have passed. I keep myself occupied with the TV, switching to CNN occasionally to make sure I know how late it is. It’s maddening that Eric doesn’t have any visible clocks in his apartment.
I’d gotten hungry and finished my burger, and by the time Eric knocks on the door to be let in, I am jittery and anxious. He stalks past me into the apartment, face dark and broody. He doesn’t say a thing and barely looks at me. He goes to stand at the sink, back to me, silent.
I assess the situation from the front door, trying to figure out if I should say anything. I can hear him breathing, heavy and strained. I close the door softly and move closer to him.
“How did it go? You were gone for quite a while so I guess –”
Eric grabs something from the sink and flings it across the room. The glass shatters against the wall, shards zipping everywhere. I flinch, the noise reverberates in my ears. Eric turns to look at the mess, and then straightens himself and turns away. He looks wrecked.
“Sorry,” he says, still avoiding my eyes. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m just a little frustrated right now.”
“So you’re taking it out on your glassware?” I had meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, but he shoots me a look that freezes me in place. I step back. “Damn. You came back pissy.”
A Sky Full of Stars Page 9
