“Ok. My friend is meeting me. I’ll go get him and we’ll come to your house. I want him with me. I don’t trust you, for obvious reasons. And I can’t take any chances. You couldn’t possibly blame me for that.”
“Yeah, I understand. Thank you. Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me just to explain,” she is clasping her hands in front of her practically ready to kneel at my feet.
“Just go I’ll meet you at your house.” I roll my eyes as she rushes from the room. I text Matthew to see if he is here before I pee. God, I am lucky I didn’t piss myself.
My phone dings, good he’s here. I wash my hands and rush out. I scan the room and see Matthew at the bar. I make a beeline to him and grab his hand dragging him out of the restaurant. He looks so confused. “What is it?” he gasps.
“It’s Sara. She was here when I got to the restaurant. She wants to talk, and you are coming with me.”
“What a minute. I don’t think so! Are you fucking kidding me? You are insane!” He is genuinely mad at me. I haven’t seen him like this in a really, really long time.
“Listen, Matthew, I don’t have time for this ok? I would be calling the cops right now, but she said something.” I pause. “She said he did it to her too.”
“What do you mean? He attacked her? Followed her? What? I don’t understand.” He is so annoyed with me.
“I don’t know just come on. I think she was raped too. She looked terrified. And … she showed me something. I don’t know, I believed her, but I want you with me just in case.” He shakes his head in disapproval but leads me to his car.
We take the 20-minute drive to Sara’s home. I’ve only been here a couple of times, but I have no trouble finding it. It’s a small two-story dark gray house and I remember there being beautiful landscaping. It’s dusted with snow right now and the trees bare. It’s still cute. When Matt pulls in the driveway, he looks at me and I know he thinks I am making a mistake. I don’t care. I need answers. “Wait here, please? I will have my cell phone in hand and your number ready to go in case I need you okay?” He nods. “I think she’ll talk to me better alone than with you.” I say. I know he is wondering why I don’t want him to come in.
I approach the door and knock apprehensively. She answers immediately. She still has that sunken scared little child look on her face. “Let me start by telling you this,” I say before she has a chance to speak. “That is my friend” I gesture to Matt. He is giving her the evil eye. “And he will be waiting for my call if anything, and I mean anything seems amiss. Got it?”
“Yes, I promise I just want to explain myself.” We both enter her house and walk to the kitchen. She takes a seat at the table and waves for me to sit.
“I think I would prefer to stand. In case I need to make a quick getaway.” I sneer at her.
She hesitates before finally speaking.
“He raped me too, before you.” She adds. “And he cut me too. Just like you. Only three wounds, not four. You were the fourth.” He has done this before. I wondered that. He seemed too comfortable with what he did to me. Why hasn’t anyone else come forward? Maybe they didn’t know him. My heart feels as though a million daggers are plunged in all at once. Those poor women.
“I don’t understand. How do you know this? And how did this happen to you? Did you know him when we first started working together?” the thought sickens me. “Was our entire friendship a big elaborate hoax to get close to me? For him?”
“No, I didn’t know him. He came into the office looking for you one day. He said he was in the neighborhood and wanted to take you to lunch. He was charming and sweet.” Vile is the word that comes to mind for me. Disgusting. “You were out on a job, so he asked me to lunch. We had a really great time. He explained that you were old friends but maybe I shouldn’t tell you because you used to have a thing for him. So, I just didn’t mention it” Yeah, me interested in him, what a load of bullshit!
“So, what? You were dating? When did he hurt you?” I am so confused.
“The first time I invited him into my place.” She pauses closing her eyes. When she opens them again I can feel her pain. “Here.” She looks around. “We had already gone out a handful of times and I thought it was going somewhere. I even had a conversation in my head on how to tell you.” She shrugs and wipes away her tears. “I don’t want to get into the details. You know them. He raped me, cut me, and went on his way. He didn’t beat me like he did you. Nothing on my face at all in fact. Although I didn’t fight. I froze. Just froze. He told me if I told anyone, he would kill me.” I am glad she doesn’t go into too much detail because I don’t want a visual of him destroying her. Here. Right here in this home. She continues. “So, I didn’t see him for weeks. And then suddenly, he showed up here again and hurt me again for the second time,”
“Jesus, Sara why didn’t you go to the police?” I can’t understand this. It doesn’t make any sense to me if she knew who he was. She could have warned me. She could have prevented all of this. I stroke my belly.
“I was terrified. I don’t have family here. I don’t have anyone to comfort me, to help me. I wasn’t even healed from the first time when he did it again.” She begins to weep. I begin to weep. For the first time l feel sorry for her.
“So, where did I come into all of this?” I manage to get out.
“He said if I didn’t follow you and take photos of you that he would continue… um… to hurt me.” She can’t say the word.
“Rape. Continue to rape you.” She nods and I have my answer.
“You have to understand, I didn’t want any harm to come to you. And I wish I would have been brave, oh God I wish I went to the police and put him in jail. I was just too terrified. He said he loved you. He said he would never harm you. And the night that you…. He told me not to follow you that night. I didn’t know why. He was obsessed with you. I thought maybe he was going to pay me a visit, but he never did. Then the next morning the second you were late I knew. Oh, I knew, and I tried calling and you didn’t answer so I went to you. I didn’t expect to see you that….” She really is sorry. “that beat up. That horrific. I am so sorry, Nettie. Please forgive me.” she is begging now.
Just then my phone buzzes. It’s Matthew. I slide the lock to answer. “I am fine Matthew. I’ll be right out.” I hang up on him. I look back at her. “I think you are reaching with that one Sara. Yes, I feel bad about what he did to you, believe me. I empathize. But you could have stopped it and you didn’t. That’s the bottom line. I meant what I said before. I never want to see you again. Do you understand?” I emphasize my question in hopes she gets the severity of my tone. “And I want you to go to the police. If there were more women, they need to know.” I am ready to get the hell out of here. But I need to know for sure. “Did he tell you there were others?”
“Yeah, sort of. He mentioned it one of the times. I don’t even think he realized that he did. He called me number three. He never mentioned it again. And then after I heard about you about how many marks, he put on you, I knew you were number four.” My heart is in my throat. He was branding us. This was his signature. Now the scars are not just scars, they are him. Like notches on a bedpost. He will permanently be on me. I feel like I want to scrub my entire body with steel wool to get him off of my skin. I get a pang of guilt for feeling this way, because of my baby. I am supposed to look at the positive now. Supposed to. Easier said than done.
“So, you have no idea who the others are?” she shakes her head no. “Alright, I am sick of giving him or you my time. I am leaving. Do I need to miss any work to avoid you this week?” I cock my head to one side.
“No, I called and resigned as soon as I knew you figured it out. I am moving. I don’t know where yet, but I can’t be here in this town. I will talk to the police as well. I promise.” Ha! her make a promise to me, that’s rich. I turn to leave and after a few steps turn back to face her, this poor, would be beautiful girl who is ruined now.
“Goodbye, Sara.” A
nd I hope and pray this is the last I see of this woman.
I don’t tell Matt much about what happened. I just want to go home. “Sorry about dinner. Raincheck?”
“Of course. Anything for you, Nettie. I am just glad that psycho bitch didn’t hurt you,” he says raising his eyebrow in disapproval. “You’re lucky she didn’t. I should have called the cops. If anything would have happened to you because of my stupidity I wouldn’t have forgiven myself.” He looks over at me sincerely. “That girl is crazy.”
“I think she is just wounded. She wasn’t when I met her. She was stunning. He damaged her.” Just like me, I think. Maybe I was too hard on her. I mean what would I have done in her position? I don’t know. I could have been in that situation I suppose. I damn well know I would not want his hands on me again, but I would kill myself before subjecting another human being to his assaults. That’s the difference between us. I would have tried. Tried for another resolution. Tried to help those other women before and the other women that were sure to follow. Maybe she is just weak. I feel so torn. Part of me feels pain for her and the other part of me wants to hurt her myself.
I decide that if she goes to the police, I won’t pursue any charges for the stalking, I will just let it go. I don’t want to do anything else. I just want to put everything that has happened in the past just there. I want to protect myself and this child. I want all my focus on my future as a mother. Our future as a family. I smile to myself. “We are going to be a happy family,” I say to my bump. “I promise.”
Chapter 12
Moving On
The next day I have a photoshoot all day. I have no need to go to the office. Thank goodness, because I don’t want any questions about Sara and her quick departure. I am photographing a story about a murder trial. I hate court shoots the most. I feel like I shouldn’t be there like it’s a personal and intimate moment for those involved and I am an invader. It is a mother accused of abusing her seven-month-old son, who as a result passed away. This is so sad. How can someone do that to a poor innocent child? There are a lot of sick people in the world. I know this all too well.
I take a few pictures of the woman on trial, the lawyers making their arguments and the judge. It should be enough for our editors to choose from. I am just not feeling this today. I wish I was given a nice fluff piece instead. Why do they send the poor, damaged ones to do the sad stories? Oh, I am the only one, they need to replace her.
I am on my way home when I decide to call Detective Montgomery. I’m surprised when she answers. I expected to leave her a message. “Oh, hi Leigh. I don’t mean to bother you, but I haven’t heard any more about Sara and I wanted to see what the situation was.”
“Oh,” she sounds surprised. “Nothing since we last spoke. We are having someone try to enhance the photo to prove it’s her. There isn’t much we can do other than that.” I am so confused.
“No, I mean she was supposed to come in and speak with someone.”
“I don’t understand. You spoke to her? When?” She sounds upset. Maybe, because she had no clue.
“We spoke and she told me why she did it. Leigh, she’s a victim too. Sam raped her the same way he did me. She said there were others too. “
“Wait, if he raped her why didn’t she report it?” Now I am confused.
“Leigh, you’re telling me she didn’t come in to speak with anyone about all this?”
“Well, certainly not with me. I will check into it and see if she filed a report, but I would have been notified. There is no way I wouldn’t know.”
“Oh, shit. She left.” I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t want to tack on a few extra years on that assholes sentence. He can’t hurt her now. Doesn’t she understand that? I don’t know whether to be furious or sad. I hope she changes her mind. If she would just go to the police, then maybe we could figure out who the other women are.
“Nettie?” Oh, I forgot Leigh.
“Oh God, Leigh, sorry. I drifted a little bit there. You were saying?”
“I just wanted you to tell me the whole story. Like, when did she get assaulted? How does she know there are others, and does she know who they are? I don’t know if I would even consider her to be a reliable source after what she did to you.” She likes me I can tell. She is acting like a big sister. Not that I would know what that feels like.
“Well, she said that the reason she followed me was that he had continued to rape her after the initial assault. He said he would continue to hurt her unless she helped him. He brainwashed her. She thought he would never hurt me. I guess I get it, she was terrified. He cut her as well, the first time he cut her three times. He also called her number three.”
“So, the cutting is his way of marking his victim? Branding them so to speak.” My stomach turns. “Oh, I am sorry Nettie. That was insensitive of me. I am just used to speaking to other cops.”
“No, it’s fine. It just seems so unbelievable to me. He is...just sick.” For lack of a better word.
“Well he is gone now, and we will keep him there as long as we can. I’ll work on these other girls and see if we can’t find out who they are. We’ll look into tracking Sara down as well. I need more details and I need them from her.” She takes a deep breath. “So how are you feeling, physically I mean?” changing the subject.
“Not bad really. I am not as tired as I was and no sickness. I am just getting bigger and bigger by the second!” I let out a tiny girlish giggle.
“Good Nettie. I am glad things are working out for you.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “Well, I guess I have a lot of work to do dear. I’ll talk to you very soon.”
“Ok Leigh, thank you. Goodbye.”
“Bye dear,” she hangs up. I don’t think my life could get any stranger. I pray that someday I can have a little normalcy. Maybe I will have a beautiful home someday and share it with the wonderful caring man and my son or daughter. I deserve a great life and that would be it. I truly believe I will someday. I suppose everyone has bumps in the road only mine are mountains. I still feel bitter at times wondering why me? But I need to get over that. It is what it is and all I can control is the here and now.
My cell rings and scares the shit out of me, “Yeah?”
“Hey, it’s Jess. Matthew told me what the hell happened last night! What the fuck were you thinking going to that psycho’s house?” uh oh, Jessica is mad. I’m in trouble.
“Will you relax? I am fine and I had Matthew with me for protection.” I roll my eyes.
“Ha! Like he could have done anything! He’s a pussy!” Oh, there it is she is howling with laughter. I guess it is kinda funny. Matthew is not exactly the confrontational kind, to say the least.
“Alright, alright settle down. You’re right. It was stupid but I had a momentary lapse in judgment. I don’t regret going though. I found out a lot. Jess, he hurt her too. She’s not quite the monster everyone believed her to be.” Her laughs have died down and she is quiet.
“Yeah well, I feel bad for her being a victim, but had it not been for that bitch, you may not have been one of them. Don’t forget that. She still did wrong in my book. I better not run into her scrawny little ass or I’ll snap her in two!” God, she is so dramatic. It’s not a big deal, now.
“Ok I am driving; I’ll call you later. Please, don’t be mad,” I pout.
“Sure whatever, call me later.” I hear the click as she hangs up the phone.
I know everyone is simply trying to protect me and be helpful, but it is beginning to drive me insane! I think I’m going to make an offer on the house that Jess and I went and looked at. I need my space. I feel like I am being smothered. Besides, I’m beginning to make progress. I am excepting my new life. I mean the fact that the baby is coming distracts me in a way from all the bad stuff. I just hope it doesn’t rear its ugly head after baby comes. If it does, I’ll just have to deal with it then. One day at a time.
I decide right then to call the realtor and put an offer in on the house. Hopefully, I’m
the only one. I really want my independence back. I should hear in a few days she informs me. This is so exciting! I really hope that they accept my offer. Fingers crossed. I had a feeling about that one. It is going to be our home. I know it.
When I get home neither of my parents are home, so I decide to take a nice long bath and enjoy the quiet. As I slip into the lavender-scented bath, I realize how bad my body aches. My feet are starting to swell by the end of each day and right now I have cankles. I laugh out loud at myself. I can’t believe how fast this pregnancy has gone so far. This is certainly not where I pictured myself this time last year, but my parents keep reminding me that everything happens for a reason. I stare at my belly as it wiggles and sways with baby’s movement. “You like that warm water, do you? Me too.” I find myself talking to the baby all the time. He or she is my new confidant. I wish I knew the sex so I can start to narrow down names. I have a few that are ok, but nothing that has really stuck yet. I should get a baby name book.
I soak until the water is tepid and my fingers are pruned. Climbing out I examine my changing body. My eyes can’t help but go to the scars over my heart. They have healed as well as one can expect but they will never go away. I continue to follow the line of my nonexistent waist. Oh, shit what is that? Stretch marks! I didn’t even notice those. Several horizontal lines on my right and left side, decorating my love handles. “Well, little one I guess you have made your mark.” Geez, I haven’t gained that much weight, have I? This girl better lay off the hostess cupcakes. Mmmm hostess cupcakes, the chocolate with the swirled white icing on top. Well, I can’t deprive the baby if it’s something it really wants, right? I quickly dress because now I am on a mission, I am like an addict wanting a fix. These pregnancy hormones are making me feel a little bit crazy. Oh, well I can be a little crazy if I want. I giggle out loud. Okay, I need a snack.
I don’t even bother to get dressed since I am alone. I wrap my red terrycloth robe around me and make my way to the pantry. “Yes!” we still have some of those delectable cakes. I grab a pack out of the box and fix myself a tall glass of ice-cold milk. I sit and look out the back windows. The snow is falling light and airy. Big huge snowflakes that look like fluffs of cotton. I hope my parents get home soon. I don’t think we’ll get much but you never know.
Rise Page 8
