“There, now you’re perfect again.”
“Absolutely,” she agreed.
They took a long walk on the beach, out to the jetty near the lighthouse. There they sat on the rocks, watching the sun go down. The air was much cooler, the breeze off the rocks wet with spray.
Sam sat behind her and circled her with his arms. Jessica leaned back against his strong solid chest, and he pressed his lips to her hair. They sat together for a long time, even after darkness fell and the nearby lighthouse found them with its gentle, sweeping light.
Jessica felt good with Sam today. And right with the world. A rare sense of harmony and peace filled her, and she decided, for once, not to dissect it.
Later, when they got back to her house, Sam helped her carry in the bounty from Sophie’s kitchen. Jessica glanced around for the cat, noticing her food dish was still full.
“I wonder where Elsie is,” she said. “She didn’t touch her food. Maybe I locked her outside by mistake.”
She went to the back door, looked out on the porch and in the yard.
“Jessica.” She heard Sam calling from the kitchen. “I found her. She’s in here.”
He stood holding open the broom closet in the kitchen, a funny smile on his face. Jessica followed his gaze and looked inside. “There, right next to the hot water heater,” he said.
Jessica saw her cat, stretched out at the back of the closet, surrounded by tiny kittens. “Oh, my goodness!” She crouched down to get a better look.
Sam stood next to her, laughing. “I thought you were just feeding her too much.”
“So did I,” Jessica confessed. “She’s been acting a little odd lately. I thought maybe she just had a hairball or something.”
“Looks like six of them,” Sam said.
“The vet never mentioned she was pregnant,” Jessica said, still shocked.
Sam crouched down next to her, grinning. “I think you need to find a new vet.”
“What do we do?” Jessica asked him.
“You can give her a towel or something soft to lie on. I don’t think you should touch the kittens yet, though. She’ll come out when she’s ready.”
“Poor Elsie, you must be exhausted,” Jessica said. Then she turned to Sam. “I’m going to have seven cats running around here pretty soon.”
“That should be interesting.” He stood up. “I think you can give them away when they’re six weeks old. Maybe I can help you find homes for them. I’ll ask around.”
“Thanks, I’ll ask people I know, too.” Jessica stood up next to him. “Six weeks should be enough time.”
She felt badly talking about giving away the kittens when they were just born. She would probably get pretty attached to them in six weeks. But the summer would be over by then. And she would be moving back to the city.
Jessica glanced up at Sam and realized that she didn’t really want to think about that. She no longer felt the same eagerness to leave Cape Light that she felt a few weeks ago.
Sam slipped his arms around her, still looking highly amused. “Think I can leave you on your own with seven cats—or do you need reinforcements?”
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him. “After umpteen jars of preserves, I can handle anything.”
They kissed good night. Smiling, Jessica watched through the windows as Sam walked out to his truck. She was so tired she thought she might drop into bed with her clothes on. But once she showered and put on her nightgown, she felt too restless to fall asleep right away.
She picked up her father’s old Bible from her nightstand. Ever since Sam found it in the bookcase, she’d read a little each night before she went to sleep. She didn’t always understand what she read, but she usually came across one or two verses that struck a chord. She opened the Bible to a random page and glanced down to see what she found:
“. . . And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds. . . .”
A few minutes later Jessica turned off the light and lay in bed, thinking about the verse. She had felt peace today, unquestioning and secure. It would be wonderful to feel that way all the time. Was that how you felt if you really believed—so settled and safe?
But faith seemed to be something you had to accept without doubts or questions, and Jessica knew she just didn’t think that way. Her mind was always picking things apart, analyzing them, wanting everything to be clear and defined, rational and linear. It was why she was so good with numbers.
She didn’t have a very strong faith, she realized. She didn’t have much faith at all. How did you get to be like Sam, or Emily even? she wondered. What happened inside a person to make them like that?
She remembered then that she’d agreed to go to church with Sam the next morning. Should she try to get out of it? No, she decided, that would be a rude thing to do to Sam.
Then again, she would probably run into her mother and Emily there. She hoped that her mother wouldn’t insult Sam again. Each time Jessica had seen her mother lately, Lillian asked about Sam, then made some cutting comment about him. It was completely unfair, and it made Jessica angry. But at the same time the comments encouraged her own doubts. She knew that if she ever decided to stay with Sam, she would have to face her mother’s harsh censure.
The next morning Jessica met Sam in front of Cape Light Bible Community Church before the service. She was late, so late that she was sure he must have thought she wasn’t coming. Sam was standing alone on the steps when she arrived.
“Sorry. I lost track of time,” she greeted him breathlessly.
“I don’t think it’s started yet. Let’s go in.” He took her hand and they went inside.
They quickly found seats at the rear of the church, on the far left side. Jessica looked around for her mother and Emily and was relieved to see that they were up front in her mother’s usual spot. She actually had a chance to avoid Lillian. Sitting in the back, she and Sam would be among the first ones out. Maybe her mother wouldn’t even see her here.
Suddenly Jessica felt ridiculous, like a high school girl sneaking out on a forbidden date. She was in church, for goodness’ sake, with a man she respected and enjoyed seeing. She wasn’t going to skulk around, as if she were doing something to be ashamed of.
When the congregation stood for the first hymn, Jessica was surprised to hear Sam sing. He sang with a strong, rich baritone and didn’t falter on the notes.
At the end of the service they walked out toward the front of the church and waited their turn to greet Reverend Ben.
“Jessica, nice to see you this morning,” the reverend said, shaking her hand.
The look in his eyes said more, though. Jessica was certain that what he meant was that he hoped he would be seeing her back in church again. She wasn’t sure. She enjoyed the service. It gave her a good feeling to take a break from her ordinary, hectic routine and think about the bigger questions. But going to church still felt like something that other people did. Maybe she would come back again, she thought. And maybe she wouldn’t.
Warren Oakes walked over to speak to Sam about a repair he wanted Sam to do on one of his properties. Jessica stood by as the two men spoke, waiting for her mother and Emily to emerge from the church. When she saw them she caught Emily’s eye first and waved. Emily waved back, looking surprised to see her. Then her mother finished speaking with Reverend Ben and saw her, too. She started to smile—then spotted Sam.
“There’s my mother and Emily. I want to say hello to them,” Jessica told Sam, deciding to run interference.
To her dismay he said, “Of course,” and fell into step beside her.
They met at the bottom of the steps. “Good morning, Mother,” Jessica said.
“Good morning to you,” her mother returned. She glanced at Sam, then sharply looked away.
“Hello, Mrs. Warwick,” Sam said calmly, unfazed by Lillian’s snub.
Lillian turned to face him, her eyes sharp and angry. “I don’t have anything to say to you,
young man. And I’ve told my daughter that I think she’s very foolish and headstrong to waste her time in a relationship with you. Very foolish.”
“Mother, how dare you?” Jessica said quietly.
Sam put his hand on her shoulder, a steadying touch that helped her regain control. “I know you don’t like me, Mrs. Warwick,” he said evenly. “But Jessica seems to. And she’s the one who has to decide if I’m wasting her time.”
Jessica saw her mother’s eyes widen and feared what she might say next. Then Emily took their mother’s arm and leaned toward her. “Let me take you to the car now, Mother,” she said in a low, firm voice. “People are watching. You don’t want to make a scene.”
Jessica quickly met Emily’s glance. They both knew that Emily had pushed the one button that would control Lillian’s temper. Their mother abhorred the idea of making a public spectacle of herself—though she seemed to do it almost every time she left her house, Jessica reflected wryly.
Lillian glanced up at Emily, then back at Jessica and Sam.
“Yes, I need to get home,” she said to Emily. Then to Jessica she added, “I’ll call you tonight, Jessica. And I don’t want to speak to a machine.”
As they watched Emily lead Lillian away, Jessica felt Sam take her hand. She held on and returned his grip, appreciating his quiet strength. She really didn’t know what would come of this relationship. But Sam had been right. It was up to her to decide.
“Want to go get some coffee?” Sam asked.
“Sure,” Jessica nodded, thinking this was as good a plan as any.
They picked up some coffee at the Beanery and walked down to the harbor. Jessica felt as if all the good feelings from the service had been dispelled by her mother’s harsh words.
Sam must have sensed she was feeling down. He didn’t say much, and when they sat down he reached out and rubbed her shoulder.
“I apologize for my mother . . . again,” she said wearily.
He met her gaze and she could see from his tight expression that the run-in with her mother had made him angry. With good reason, she thought.
But finally he looked out at the water and just shook his head. “Let’s just forget it,” he said. “Besides, I’ve got a little surprise for you. How would you like to waste this beautiful day with me and go sailing?”
“Sailing?” Jessica sat up, her spirits instantly lifted. “How? You don’t have a boat.”
“Harry’s got one in his yard he’s been fixing up to sell. Somebody just left it there, didn’t want to pay the storage. A Piper Ensign,” Sam said, naming a small, well-balanced boat that could easily be handled by two. “He said I could take it out any time I like. Sort of a test-drive. I think he’s trying to sell it to me. What do you think, want to try it?”
“I’d love to. I hope I remember what to do, though. It’s been a while.”
Jessica hadn’t been sailing in several years. Though Paul sometimes suggested they rent a boat, somehow they never did. Actually, she hadn’t heard much from Paul since he went to the Midwest. Their few phone calls had been stiff and awkward. She wondered if whatever spark they had in the spring had been worn down by the long distance now between them. She honestly didn’t think of him much, and at times, like today, he seemed very far away.
“I haven’t been out in a long time, either,” Sam said, putting his arm around her shoulder. “Luckily, it doesn’t look too windy. Don’t worry. I’ve seen you at the beach—you’re a strong swimmer. If anything goes wrong, I’m trusting you to rescue us.”
She saw the light in his eyes and knew he was teasing her. She was eager to go out, though. They had talked about it a few times, and he knew she loved to sail but rarely got the chance.
An hour later they were out on the water. Working together to maneuver the boat out of the harbor, they fell into an easy partnership. Despite Sam’s modesty, he was an able sailor, and Jessica’s feel for handling the boat quickly came back to her.
As the shoreline receded from view, Jessica didn’t think at all about her mother’s remarks or her confusion about Sam. She felt far away from everything, surrounded by water, sky, and wind.
When it was Jessica’s turn to take the tiller, the mainsail caught a strong, steady breeze, and the boat skimmed along quickly, heeling gently to one side. Sam glanced back at her with admiration. “You’re good at this,” he said.
“Thanks.” She smiled back. “I really do love being out here. I guess I forgot how much.”
Sam came back and sat next to her. “Maybe you should buy the boat. I could talk to Harry for you, get you a good deal.”
The boat was in good shape but old. Jessica was certain she could afford it, but the notion wasn’t very . . . practical.
“I can’t have a boat. Where would I keep it?”
“Right here, in the harbor,” Sam said. “There’s plenty of room.”
“But I’d never get to use it, living in Boston.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Sam touched his forehead, as if he’d forgotten. Jessica felt nervous for a moment. She didn’t want to get into that conversation again. But Sam just smiled, leaned back, and stretched out his legs. “Well, maybe you’d have to stay here, then. For the boat, I mean.”
She gave him a rueful grin. “Right, for a run-down, used sailboat. Tell Harry I’ll think about it.”
They spent the entire day on the water, sailing all the way to Southport, where they tied up at the village dock and went into town for a bite to eat. They started back to Cape Light before dusk, watching a crimson sunset from the water. By the time they approached the village it was dark.
“Oh, look,” Jessica said as they motored into the harbor. “Main Street is lit up like a miniature village under a Christmas tree. It’s so pretty from the water.”
“It’s a beautiful world, don’t you think?” Sam asked.
“Yes, it is,” she agreed softly.
It was a beautiful day that she was sorry to see end. When she got back home she didn’t find a message on her machine from her mother, as she had expected. It was late, so she decided she would call her the next day from the office.
But Monday morning passed in a whirlwind of activity, and Jessica didn’t get a chance to call. She was not surprised when she picked up the phone at lunchtime and heard Lillian’s voice.
“Jessica, did you take your lunch break yet? You need to come over here right away,” Lillian said without any greeting.
Jessica felt her heart begin to beat faster. “What is it? Are you all right?” she asked anxiously.
“I’m fine, fine and dandy. But that cleaning girl Molly Willoughby walked out in a snit and left this place a complete disaster. The vacuum cleaner is all in pieces. The furniture is rearranged every which way. There’s a bucket of suds in the middle of the kitchen floor and the mop, dripping wet, right where she dropped it.”
“She walked out in the middle of mopping the floor?” Jessica didn’t quite understand the story. Maybe Molly had an emergency with one of her children. “Why?”
“Why? Why does someone like that do anything?” her mother railed. “Because she’s ignorant and disrespectful, that’s why. Though I can’t say I’m the least bit surprised, when you consider the woman’s background. . . .”
Jessica gritted her teeth in an effort to ignore the last comment. “There must have been some reason,” Jessica said. “Did you make some comment about her work?”
“I made a comment about her brother,” Lillian said pointedly. “But you already know my feelings on that subject.”
“Yes, I do,” Jessica said curtly. “I guess I’m getting the full picture now.”
“The full picture is my home in complete disorder. Are you able to come or not?”
“Yes, I can come. I didn’t take lunch yet, so I’ll be right over.” She glanced at her watch. “Don’t go into the kitchen. You might slip.”
“It’s a regular obstacle course around here. I don’t dare get out of the chair.”
&nbs
p; Jessica could tell that it wasn’t so much the house as her mother’s equilibrium that had been turned upside down. She was undoubtedly going to get a full catalog of the Morgan family’s shortcomings.
Well, if it gets too bad, I’ll make some excuse to return to the office, Jessica told herself.
THE NEXT DAY JESSICA MET EMILY FOR LUNCH AT THE Beanery, where they compared notes about their mother’s run-in with Molly.
Jessica had also heard another version of the story from Sam, who held Molly and Lillian equally responsible.
“Molly’s got a hot temper,” he told her. “She shouldn’t have let Lillian get under her skin.”
Easier said than done, Jessica thought ruefully. She really couldn’t blame Molly for taking offense.
“So what do you think really happened?” Emily asked after a waiter brought their iced lattes and salads.
“It seems Mother told Molly that Sam wasn’t good enough for me, or some such outrageous comment. And, of course, Molly got angry and told her what she thought of our family.” Jessica rolled her eyes. “You can imagine the rest.”
“Yes, well, to tell you the truth, I was expecting a meltdown, especially after Sunday,” Emily admitted. “Mother can be so impossible.”
“How do you do it?” Jessica asked. “I mean, how do you remain so patient with her day in and day out? I’ve only had six months of it, and sometimes I think I’m going to scream.”
“Practice,” Emily said with a grin, but then her expression became more serious. “I’ve come close to losing my temper a few times,” she admitted. “But I pray for patience and compassion. And I remind myself that after Father died and our world was falling apart, Mother was the one who held it all together for us.”
“I think about that, too,” Jessica admitted. “I know how hard it was for her to stay in Cape Light after the trial—when everyone treated us like outcasts.”
Cape Light Page 26
