They all nodded in agreement. It was their tradition. Like most men, they found a bit of competition made the fishing more exciting.
Harry started up the engines, and Sam and the reverend pushed off. With his Sox cap pulled down tight, his fishing vest flapping in the wind, Harry drove the boat at full throttle due east, until the shoreline disappeared from view.
Nearly forty minutes later they reached what Harry considered to be the right spot. He dropped anchor, and the three friends assembled their rods and quickly cast off.
Carolyn had given the reverend a MacGregor double-reel pole for his birthday. He hadn’t tried it yet in open water, only sand-casting from the beach at Durham Point.
Sam and Harry liked to joke that they did it all wrong down in Gloucester, the fishing village just south of Cape Light, where the reverend had grown up. Ben would give them a tolerant smile, then cock his arm back and with a flick of his wrist show off his stuff. His father was a professional fisherman, who taught his son the trick of it when the boy could barely reach over the edge of the boat.
Sam usually spent Saturday with Jessica but didn’t mind getting out on the water with his pals today. They were only able to get away together for these fishing trips a few times each summer.
He would see Jessica tomorrow night. They planned to have dinner and go to a movie. He hadn’t asked her to meet him at church in the morning. He had asked her the week before, and she had given him some plausible excuse. But he knew she just didn’t want to go, and he didn’t push it. After the run-in with her mother, he didn’t blame her. At least their day out sailing had been just about perfect. But something changed after that; he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Maybe his argument with Molly had thrown him off, stirred up doubts.
Sam was in love with Jessica. He knew that by now. He had been involved with women before, and he knew what was real and what was not. But sometimes he thought if it was right, it ought to be easier than this. There seemed so much they still had to work through.
Sam expected the fishing to be a distraction from his Jessica problem, but as the sun rose higher, he found that casting about for a bite—elusive so far—gave him too much time to think. When the group decided to pull up the anchor and try another spot, Sam moved up front to the cockpit and took the wheel.
As they cruised north of the Point, the reverend joined him, holding a soft drink.
“Hot out here today,” the reverend observed. “It must be too hot for the fish. I’m beginning to think they’ve all gone down to the bottom, trying to get out of the sun.”
“We’ll find a few that like to sunbathe,” Sam promised. “Digger can always find them. He says he’s got a foolproof spot.”
“How about Jessica, does she like to fish?”
Sam glanced at him. “I don’t think so. She likes to sail, though. We went out about two weeks ago. Harry lent us a boat.”
“I’d love to have a sailboat. You know, something small. But it’s a great deal of work,” Reverend Ben said. “And I don’t really have the time for it.”
“I know what you mean,” Sam replied. He saw a landmark Digger had mentioned and steered to the right. “When I’m not so busy maybe.”
“Maybe you’ll have one with Jessica someday . . . or am I assuming too much now?”
“Hard to say, Reverend,” Sam answered carefully. “You can’t call a ball game in the sixth inning.”
“Oh.” Ben fixed his cap, which had been lifted by a gust of wind. “I’m sorry. I thought maybe it was further along than that.”
Sam laughed to himself. “I thought it was, too. But some things happened. We had a talk. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear.” He paused to lower the throttle. “I love her,” he said simply. “No doubt in my heart about that. But I’m not half sure this is going to work out. And I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t.”
He felt Ben watching him but didn’t turn his head. Then he felt the reverend’s hand on his shoulder, and something in his touch made Sam feel as though Reverend Ben understood what he was going through.
“I’d like to say something bright and optimistic to you, Sam. But no one can say what God has in store for us. You and Jessica may or may not stay together, but I believe God always gives the best to those who leave the choice with Him,” Ben said quietly. “And no matter what happens, think of Jessica and how her faith has grown.”
Sam raised one dark eyebrow. “Do you really think it has?”
“I watched her face when she was at Sunday service two weeks ago,” the reverend told him. “I truly believe she felt the peace of the church, and that alone could be a good thing.” He looked at Sam approvingly. “I think you played some part in that.”
Sam was quiet for a moment, thinking about what the reverend said. “I’m glad for Jessica. I think she’s happier, too. Sometimes I think if we just had some time, it could happen for us. Then I get frustrated and I just want to know the answer. Even if it’s going to hurt, I just want to know and get it over with.”
“Be patient, Sam. Let events unfold,” the reverend counseled. “To feel real love for someone is a miracle. It’s as close as we come to the Divine in this lifetime and truly its own reward. Love wholeheartedly, without fear, and you’ll find it’s the most powerful force we know on this earth. Love can work to wear away many differences. But I believe it works best like water on stone,” he added with a small smile. “Not like dynamite.”
Sam smiled broadly and nodded. “All right, Reverend. I understand—no dynamite.”
“Is the radio up here?” Harry Reilly suddenly pushed his big body into the small cabin. “Doubleheader at Fenway,” he explained anxiously. “First pitch is at one-fifteen.”
While Harry worked on the radio, Digger gave Sam directions for the exact location of his foolproof spot. A short time later they dropped anchor, baited their hooks, and cast off.
There was no action at all through two scoreless innings. Harry groused, saying they ought to move again.
Then the fish began to bite, everyone’s line tugging at once. The school was so thick, the slick curved bodies could be seen breaking through the water, jumping all around the boat.
The men swung their lines in the water and out again, pulling in fish after fish. The empty coolers were filled, then Sam dumped out the food and drinks to fill the others, as well.
The four friends stayed out on the water until sunset. They returned to the harbor cheered by the Red Sox’s double victory and their coolers full of fish. It was impossible to say who had hauled in the largest of the lot, which didn’t stop them from debating the question, long and loudly.
Sam settled the matter of who would buy dinner by having them all up to his place, where he cooked a simple but fine meal of grilled bluefish with all the trimmings.
“I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, Jessica,” Emily had said over the phone, “but I’m afraid you have to come here and pick it up. Can you stop by my house, oh . . . say one o’clock on Saturday? I’m sorry, but that’s the only time I can do it.”
Jessica found herself both touched and surprised. Her sister and mother always sent cards, but neither had given her a birthday gift since she was a child. “Of course I’ll come,” she had told Emily and promised to be there at one.
ON SATURDAY EMILY GREETED HER AT THE DOOR with a kiss and a hug. “Your gift is in there,” she said, pointing to the living room.
What could it be? Jessica wondered as she walked ahead to the living room. All this mystery was very unlike her usually straightforward sister.
Jessica’s eyes widened as she noticed a balloon drifting up toward the ceiling. Then a group of familiar voices called out, “Surprise!”
“No!” She jumped back, smiling, laughing, and even crying a little all at once. She looked back at her sister, who smiled but looked teary-eyed as well.
“Happy Birthday, Jessica.” Emily walked over and gave her another hug.
“Why did you do this? Y
ou didn’t have to go to all this trouble for me. It’s not a special birthday or anything.”
“Every birthday should be special, I think,” Emily countered. “And it was no trouble at all. Just some lunch and cake. I really wanted to. Besides, I never got the chance before.”
Sam came over to her and kissed her. “Happy birthday, Jess,” he whispered, smiling into her eyes. “You were really surprised, weren’t you?”
“Totally,” she said, shaking her head.
Emily had also invited two of Jessica’s friends from work, Suzanne and Dana. She quietly mentioned that she invited their mother, too, but Lillian didn’t want to come.
“Oh,” Jessica said, feeling badly about that. Maybe it’s just as well, since Sam is here, she realized a moment later.
Jessica enjoyed every minute of the celebration, including blowing out her candles. When she made her silent wish, it came out more like a little prayer: Let me find the right resolution and peace in my heart about Sam.
“Good job,” Sam said as she blew out the candles in one breath. “What did you wish for?”
She met his gaze. “It doesn’t come true if you tell.”
Sam smiled at her, but she noticed that the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
While everyone ate birthday cake, Jessica opened her gifts—a CD from Suzanne, perfume from Dana, and an antique sequined purse from Emily that they had admired one day when they were in Grace’s shop together.
“Oh, Emily . . . this is so beautiful,” Jessica said, lifting the purse to admire it. “It’s too fragile to use. I’m going to have it framed in one of those display boxes.”
“I knew you liked it.” Emily smiled at her, looking satisfied. “I was so relieved when I went back to the Bramble and it was still there.”
Sam leaned over her chair and whispered in her ear. “I need to give you my gift in private,” he told her. “How about afterward, down at the dock?”
“Okay,” Jessica agreed, but Sam’s request set off a chain of anxious thoughts in her mind.
She had an awful feeling that it was going to be jewelry—an expensive bracelet or even a ring—something that would imply a commitment if she accepted it. If he gave her a ring, then what would she do? They would have to have another heavy conversation, and she dreaded that. And she hated the idea that she might hurt him.
Jessica and Sam were the last to leave the party. Jessica hugged her sister at the door. “This was so sweet of you, Emily. Really.” Jessica gazed at her sister, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. She had rarely felt closer to Emily and was sad that the afternoon had to end. “I can’t remember ever having such a nice birthday,” she said.
“I’m glad,” Emily replied sincerely. She smiled and patted Jessica’s shoulder. “I just wanted to do something special for you.”
“You did,” Jessica assured her as they hugged again.
“Nice party,” Sam said as he and Jessica walked toward her car.
“It was perfect,” Jessica agreed, feeling another twinge of apprehension. She just hoped that the rest of the afternoon wasn’t about to slide into disaster.
Jessica drove, acutely aware of the way Sam sat back, looking at her with that secret smile on his face. She wished he’d look out the window or something.
“Where shall we go?” she asked when they reached the village.
“Park down by the harbor,” he said. “We can sit out on the dock, and I’ll give you my present.”
They walked out on the town dock, hand in hand. Jessica thought back to the first time they came here together, the night he stopped by to look at the hole in her ceiling. That seemed so long ago now.
Though it really wasn’t, she reminded herself. They had come a long way in a short time. Would they go much further together? was the question.
They sat on a bench at the end of the dock. Sam took a small box out of a bag he’d been holding.
“Here you are,” he said softly. “Happy birthday.”
She glanced up at him, then down at the box in her hands. It was carefully wrapped in fancy paper with a thick satin bow. It appeared to be from some expensive store—a jewelry store probably—and Jessica felt nervous all over again. It was heavier than she expected, though. Definitely not a ring. That was some relief. Now she had no idea what it could be and tore off the wrapping.
She opened it slowly and saw a glint of gold through the tissue. It was jewelry. Oh, dear. . . . Then she folded the tissue back.
And couldn’t figure out what it was.
She picked it up and stared at it. Some kind of brass handle? A fancy paperweight?
Sam watched her, his hand on his chin, nearly covering his mouth so he wouldn’t speak.
“It’s a winch,” he said finally.
“Oh . . . right.” She nodded and glanced at him. She still didn’t understand.
“It has an inscription on the handle. See it?”
She checked the handle for the writing and found it. Wishing you smooth seas and a steady breeze, wherever you may roam. With love, S.M.
Smooth seas? She looked up at him. No . . . he didn’t. She met his gaze, his dark eyes shining, his wide smile answering her unspoken question.
“This is a handle . . . to a winch. On a sailboat,” she finally pieced together.
“That’s right.” He nodded and pointed out in the water. Jessica looked and saw it tied up a short way down the dock, the sailboat they’d borrowed from Harry.
“I bought it from Harry for you,” Sam said.
“You didn’t really—” she said, still staring at it bobbing gently in the water. It had a big plastic bow tied to the jib, the kind people put on houses at Christmastime.
“Yes, I did.” He nodded again. “I wanted to get you something I knew you really wanted. . . . I can refinish the wood inside for you and get some new brass fittings. I had Digger repaint the hull,” he added. “But you have to choose a new name.”
Jessica stood up. She didn’t know whether to scream at him or throw her arms around him. He was impossible, infuriating, totally . . . beyond belief sometimes. How could he have done this when she had been so clear with him?
“I can’t believe you,” was all she managed to say.
Sam got to his feet and put his hands on her shoulders. He looked into her eyes, almost smiling but not quite.
“I can’t believe how I feel about you,” he said quietly. “I just want to make you happy, Jessica. Don’t you like the boat? I thought you loved it.”
When he looked at her like that, with his heart in his eyes, her head felt overruled, and her own heart, overwhelmed. She looked down and swallowed.
“I love the boat,” she said quietly. And I probably love you, too, she nearly added. “But I can’t accept it from you, Sam. You must realize that.”
“Why not? Why can’t you?”
She glanced at him and then away. “I just can’t. You know why. . . . Why do you have to make it so hard for me?”
“Why do you have to make it so hard for yourself?” he asked in a low, quiet voice that held just an edge of anger. When she looked up at him, she saw the emotion in his dark eyes, his anger and frustration. His disappointment. And his love.
She didn’t know how to answer.
“Just keep it and enjoy it, Jessica,” he said. “It makes me happy to give it to you. I’m not asking you to make any promises here.”
She sighed and touched his cheek. “I know you’re not . . . but it’s still the same. Whether you ask or not, I can’t accept a gift like this from you. I can’t let you keep hoping I might stay here when I won’t.”
His hopeful look hardened, and his eyes looked glassy with anger . . . or maybe even tears. Her heart ached for him. He stepped closer to her.
“Think about it a little. You don’t have to decide now.”
She moved away from him and folded her arms across her chest. Clouds slid across the sun, and Jessica felt chilled.
“Give it back to Harry, Sam. He’
ll understand.”
She felt him staring at her for a long moment, but she didn’t dare look up at him again.
“Sure, I can give it back to him,” he said finally. “That part’s easy.”
He turned and looked out at the water. The breeze tugged on his shirt. She felt the impulse to put her arms around him and hide her face against his strong back.
She’d never known anyone like Sam. Most likely, she never would again.
He glanced back at her. “I’ll do it now,” he said angrily, and started walking toward the boat.
“Right now?” Jessica stood a short distance away, watching him untie the lines.
He nodded, not even looking at her. He untied the lines from the dock, tossed them on the deck, and jumped on-board.
Jessica watched, feeling sick. She wished desperately that she could say something that would make things better, erase all the hurt. Her hair blew across her face and she pushed it away.
Sam yanked the pull cord on the motor, and it started right up. “I better get this over with. Before I make an even bigger fool of myself.”
He put the gear in forward and turned the boat away from the pier. Jessica moved to the end of the dock. “Sam, don’t go like this, please. We really need to talk. Please?” she called out.
At first she wasn’t sure if he heard her over the sound of the motor. Then he glanced at her over his shoulder. He lifted his arm and waved, but she didn’t wave back. Was this good-bye? Was it over now between them? Sam watched her for a moment as he turned the boat around toward Harry’s yard. Then he looked away, out at the open water.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“THE PROBLEM IS THERE’S NO HARD EVIDENCE,” Chief Sanborn explained to Emily. “Phone records show the call was made from a pay phone out on the turnpike. That’s all we could come up with. George Godwin, the owner of North Bay Development, received the call. He couldn’t even describe the voice very well, except to say that he thought the caller was a man.”
Chief Sanborn’s voice held an edge of frustration. He liked to get to the bottom of things, Emily knew. “We know someone called North Bay and told them if they bought Dr. Elliot’s land, they wouldn’t get permits to build. But we don’t know who it was.”
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