Emasculated men can’t lead even themselves, let alone a family and beyond, so, no matter our present conditioning, Christian men must find their courage, their “chests,” and seek to live authentic Christian lives, for healthy families and effective churches must be led by men. The Apostle Paul couldn’t have been clearer: “I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man.”[12] He does not qualify his statement, nor does he make it conditional in any way (though many seek to apply conditions or narrow his proscription.)[13] Even if you wholly disagree with my “narrow” reading of this verse, you would do well to at least consider the ubiquitous, easily observable evidence emanating from today’s culture. Is America’s a healthy culture? If not, why not? Has it ever been healthy? If so, what has changed?
The church is not immune from the culture of its members and, indeed, feminism has taken root not just in the world but in most all churches and families, leaving them mere ineffective shells of what God intended. Christian leaders compromise on this biblical principal at their peril because all organizations require good leadership and, hear me well, strong men simply do not follow women. One need only observe adolescent males being raised by single mothers to understand that even most boys refuse to follow female leadership when it is unchained from adult male enforcement, even leadership from their own mothers. A matriarchal culture is a culture of disorder and dysfunction, America’s inner cities providing sufficient evidence to draw proper conclusions, with black out-of-wedlock birth rates exceeding four out of five in some entire states, and with other races following in their footsteps.[14] It was not always so. To put this massive shift into proper perspective, in 1960, in a day before the birth control pill, the Plan B pill, or legal abortion, in the U.S. only one out of twenty children were born to unmarried mothers. Today that number is approaching eight out of twenty births, almost forty percent, an 800% increase over that period of time.[15] How high would this number be without abortion, whether chemical or surgical? The fruits of feminism are bitter; they reek of death.
In many churches feminism is at full flower. If one wants an ineffective church club full of women and children and unrepentant homosexuals, sprinkled with emasculated men, installing a solipsistic female pastorette offers a most expeditious path. If she’s married to a step-and-fetch beta boy, or attached to her lesbian lover, that’s even a further improvement. If one seeks to destroy Western civilization, one couldn’t do much better than to compromise the church. And so the Enemy has done, and to great effect, for he is a formidable enemy, one who would destroy us completely absent the restraint of God’s strong right arm.
For the Christian man to see clearly, his ultimate guide must be the Bible, for it has been authoritatively attested as accurate and true: In prayer to the Father, Jesus stated, “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.”[16] Many justify their equalitarian gospel with the argument that modern culture requires us to reevaluate biblical principles, particularly those regarding sexual sin and leadership in the church. To them I ask, “Are God’s precepts and instructions timeless or do they require constant evaluation based upon our space and time? Do Christians believe Elohim[17], God the Creator of time and space, bound by His own creation? Was He incapable of knowing where Western civilization would stand in the 21st century? If His clear instructions weren’t timeless truths, wouldn’t He have added culture-specific footnotes or qualifiers?” Either God’s clear and unqualified instructions are timeless or they are not. If they are not, then we must decide which of His other instructions no longer apply because of our supposedly more advanced culture: What about his strictures regarding fornication? Sodomy? Beastiality? Murder of the unborn?
I do not jest. One can easily find churches where each of these sins is quietly tolerated, openly embraced, and even taught directly from the pulpit. Such disregard of Scripture is rebellion and arrogance on parade, reliably and demonstrably ending poorly, women and children hardest hit. I submit society’s pathologies as facts in evidence of a failed feminist church: increasing dependence, rampant divorce, crashing birth rates, an utterly failed education system, routine abortion, a tsunami of out-of-wedlock births, widespread sexual sin of all types, doctors prescribing psychological medications as mere prophylactics for life’s challenges, the sick and depraved entertainment culture, and ubiquitous pornography, just for starters. Can we at least agree that these are markers for a culture in decline? Does anyone really want to make an argument that equalitarianism and its attendant “isms” have strengthened church, culture, or country? Yes, dear reader, the Western church is compromised and the society along with it, but there is good news. Unlike many of society’s ills, choosing whom to marry is a decision completely within your control, for you control the gate to commitment and it should be a narrow gate. If family is to be restored, it will be one person, one family, one church, one community at a time. Men, healing must begin in your family, with you and your decisions. If you marry, marry well.
If biblical principles are to be restored, by definition, leaders will lead the way, but, to lead well, leaders must possess integrity and develop competence. The late Stephen Covey stated it well: “Trustworthiness is more than integrity; it also connotes competence. In other words, you may be an honest doctor, but before I trust you, I want to know you’re competent as well.”[18] God created men to lead, but only a trustworthy man is capable of leading well in God’s kingdom. Such a man must be both competent and live his life with unquestioned integrity. To possess integrity, the Christian man must authentically submit himself to God and be shaped by the Potter. To build competence, one must seek knowledge, build skills, and understand reality, seeking to understand life to the very best of one’s abilities.
The Made to Lead series is written for those men wanting the Red Pill, thirsting for Truth, wanting to lead their families and the society in which they live to a biblical understanding of life, love, obedience and sacrifice. Along with the numerous resources noted throughout, these books will greatly aid you in developing an accurate worldview and will help you better understand human nature, both critical foundations for becoming a good and godly leader. Even if your only leadership victory in life is leading your own family well, that is a huge victory, one to be celebrated through all eternity!
With the foundation now poured, let me share to whom I wrote this book. Those who will embrace these truths at a young age will not be hindered by the adverse effects of years of bad decisions, so this information is primarily directed to young adult, single men desiring to live an impactful life; divorced men will benefit similarly. It is also written for fathers who desire to raise well-grounded sons and virtuous daughters. The married man may certainly apply these teachings to improve his own marriage. This particular book is simply too explicit for young boys, so please do not give this book to your son without reading it first. Should an authentic Christian woman elect to read this book, she would do well to start with the chapter entitled, “Raising Your Daughters.” Though the subject matter covered in this book naturally taps into one’s emotions, the book itself seeks to cover the material dispassionately and logically, though we’ll have some fun along the way. But the equalitarian feminists, male or female, steeped in their own rhetoric, will simply wretch themselves into convulsions as they turn each page, so they read at their own risk. This book is not intended to judge, berate, or condemn; quite to the contrary, it’s offered to inform and encourage, to call men to repentance, to help them rediscover and assume their God-given responsibilities. With that in mind, dads, please hear me, do not allow your past sins to silence your good counsel. Your children need your good and godly counsel and encouragement. Let God redeem your experience, even your mistakes, to their betterment.
Please know that I have worked diligently to make this book conform to Scripture. I have brought knowledge to bear from many other sources as well, including all-important observation, often absent in the ivory tower debates. As Solomon advised, “I applied my heart to what I observed
and learned a lesson from what I saw.”[19] Each observation has been backtested against Scripture. If you find what you believe to be a logical or factual error, please do not hesitate to advise;[20] however, if I do not explicitly make an assertion, I have not made it, so please refrain from reflexively correcting me regarding assertions or arguments I have not made. Additionally, my making note of an observable tendency is not equivalent to making an unqualified assertion for all people at all times. There are always exceptions, and someone proffering a rejoinder that merely makes note of an exception to the rule does not undermine the general observation regarding the tendency. To wit, a woman successfully competing in the NBA, however unlikely that might be, would not negate the observation that men tend to be better basketball players than women.
I am a Christian who has “learned obedience from what he suffered,”[21] having suffered nothing in comparison to the Son, but having suffered sufficiently to understand that God uses suffering to more fully form us. God is the Potter; “we are the clay.”[22] My presence on this earth means He is not done with me yet, so I likely have more suffering ahead (as do you), but He has promised that He’ll always be walking with me to and through eternity. He has been faithful. My regular prayer is that God will take my scars – those hard-earned life lessons – and use them for His redemptive purposes in many lives, in your life, just as others’ scars have been redeemed in mine. May He make it so, and may any glory be His alone.
Unless you were blessed with a very wise father or grandfather or uncle, you are highly likely to have been indoctrinated into society’s “isms.” If this is the case, should you continue reading, I am about to challenge just about everything you’ve been taught your entire life, to turn it all on its head, to your and your posterity’s betterment. If you are a young man without a father and without such a role model, consider letting me become that man, adopting you into sonship as you read, for reading is the purest form of listening. I do not claim perfection in any endeavor: I merely observe, think, and then act. The LORD is the creator of wisdom, but before you deign to turn the next page, prepare yourself, and let history’s wisest man apart from Jesus speak, “For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.”[23] But in spite of the grief, the Bible tells us: “Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”[24] “Though it cost all you have, get understanding.”[25] Therefore, as a follower of Christ, it is your duty to seek wisdom and understanding: Strap it on!
Preparation
Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness![26]
— Jesus of Nazareth
If Christianity should happen to be true, then it is quite impossible for those who know this truth and those who don’t should be equally well equipped for leading a good life. Knowledge of the facts must make a difference to one’s actions”[27]
— C.S. Lewis
For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.[28]
— The Apostle Paul
Moses told the Israelites: “Be strong and courageous.”[29] Moses told Joshua: “Be strong and courageous.”[30] God told Joshua: “Be strong and very courageous.”[31] The people told Joshua, “Only be strong and courageous!”[32] Joshua told the people, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.”[33] King David told Solomon: “Be strong and courageous.”[34] King David tells us, “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.”[35] Our Resurrected Lord told Paul, “Take courage!”[36] Paul tells us: “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.”[37]
Do you seek God’s success? If so, take courage and dedicate your life to Him, to seeking His truth, to living the full life He has for you. To live such a life, live on a mission just as Paul did: let your efforts be planned and considered, but never be paralyzed for any reason. Pray, prepare, do! King Solomon wrote, “It is not good to have zeal without knowledge.”[38] He didn’t condemn zeal but, rather, encouraged preparation and the acquisition of knowledge as its prerequisite. Once you have obtained a base of knowledge, action will help you both refine your mind and formulate your mission.
King David wrote, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb,”[39] making it clear that God formed us with certain aspects of our character and capabilities from before birth, preparing us for our earthly mission. Our parents were tasked with nurturing what God created but, ultimately, it’s up to each man to strive towards becoming all that God created him to become, to become a trustworthy man. Building competence takes enormous investments of time, so one must prepare while one can: learn, explore, read, cultivate hobbies and interests, seek counsel from parents and others whom you trust, determine what you are capable of doing and what you like doing. Read, read, read - widely and regularly. Since reading is the purest form of listening, when you read books written by wise and knowledgeable men, you will obtain knowledge distilled and recorded by history’s most capable. There is no better classroom; take full advantage.
Your success (and I’m speaking of life success by God’s measure, not necessarily of monetary success) will be highly correlated to your effectiveness in life and effectiveness is highly correlated to mission. A man on a mission is tenacious; tenacity brings success; and success benefits you greatly: providing you quality women from whom to choose a wife; allowing you to focus resources on solving problems for yourself and others; and making you more effective as God’s hands on this Earth. Take courage!
In formulating and executing your mission, never overlook prayer (as men tend to do until they’re desperate), but never let prayer excuse long-term inaction, standing idly by until God hands you life’s complete script. You’ll still be waiting at the end of your pathetic life, hoping for eternal rewards that may never come. No, no, no, a thousand times no! Go! Do! Be a bold man of action, considered action. So long as you act within God’s moral framework while seeking Him, He will bless and guide your efforts, refining you in failure and blessing you in success. He desires eternal fellowship with you starting right now, and He’s the best counselor of all. If His plans differ from yours, He will let you know.
Know this well: A man who acts will outshine one who is acted upon. Harness and embrace your natural masculine energy. It’s a powerful force; use it! A godly man of considered action is fearless, a leader, a good man (not a nice guy); be that man and here is what you stand to gain:
Praise and blessing from your God
Deep satisfaction and well-founded confidence that comes from preparation, toil, and success
Loyal friends
A beautiful, respectful, submissive, loving, helpful, loyal bride
Loving children nurtured by a wonderful, dedicated mother
The ability to help and counsel others in meaningful ways
Wisdom informed and refined by hardship, challenge, success, failure, testing, and suffering
An ally in eternity’s God, One who will guide you, walk with you, protect you, and bring you to your eternal home with praise and rewards
Such a man just might change eternity for the better.
The effective man thinks long-term, lengthening his time preferences, a term from economics. Those who have or develop long time preferences invest current resources (time, effort, energy, money) in anticipation of long-term positive returns. To the contrary, those with short time preferences seek immediate gratification with little or no regard to long-term consequences. Those with the shortest time preferences might rob a store for a candy bar, risking the long-term pain of imprisonment for the fleeting gratification of a sweet. There are such people. My father, a now-retired state trooper,
once apprehended two bank robbers who’d taken the time to stop and buy cigarettes with their loot. He let them keep them, figuring each cigarette cost them about four months in prison. Those with the longest time preferences might develop a family plan that extends for twenty generations. In general, those with longer time preferences are more productive and meet with more success over their lifetimes. God has eternal time preferences. Where are you on this continuum? Most of us should seek to lengthen our time preferences. You should find it helpful to know that men tend to have longer time preferences than women, and one would hope that Christians would develop and possess longer time preferences than their unbelieving neighbors.
In this book we will primarily examine a man’s leadership role within his family, because for a family to operate as God intended, men submitted to God must lead, indeed, are commanded by God to lead. Healthy families require intentional male leadership, and healthy families provide the foundation for healthy societies. History reveals that societies operating absent the leadership of moral men rapidly devolve into hellish circumstances for all concerned. Both the historical record and our current circumstances warn the rational observer of our current age, and we ignore such insight at our severe peril.
Let us now forge ahead, considering a decision that will affect you and yours for eternity: whom you marry. You will find it most expedient to first understand who not to marry and why. Western women suffer greatly for their mistaken belief in feminism, as do feminist men, and they will suffer more, for a society based upon its tenants is simply unsustainable. Without great care you and your progeny will suffer too, for unlike most of her ancestral sisters, today’s Western woman is conditioned and trained to reflexively rebel against male leadership, stridently recoiling from any kind of perceived control. American culture encourages her to seek happiness by walking a path virtually assured to bring her eventual sorrow and regret, affecting all those in her path and her wake. In trading the Truth for the Lie, she often ends up divorced, childless, not finding true satisfaction from her “career” but, instead, eventually finds herself alone in her fifties, lamenting with her cats the fact that her youth was misdirected to destructive or meaningless pursuits that ring hollow in later life’s loneliness, well past any remedy. When one is incapable or unwilling to think things all the way through, one often ends up with precisely the opposite of one’s intended goals. Pity the woman who, like Esau, has exchanged her birthright and her progeny’s well-being for the proverbial bowl of stew and a piece of hardtack,[40] her family tree for the fleeting pleasure of the alpha-stimulated orgasm, suffering the excruciating pain of looking back on a wasted life. Pity her, help her, minister to her, but do not consider marrying her or her younger sister, ever.
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