by Colbie Kay
"Jacey! Wait!" I yell after her.
"Fuck you, Bear!" she screams back over her shoulder.
I turn and look at Morgan.
“You go take your fuckin' ass back to the clubhouse, and don't ever fuckin' pull that bullshit again. Got me?" She gives me a nod and runs away.
Jacey’s already in her car, pulling out and driving away like a bat outta hell, throwing gravel everywhere. Fuck, I gotta make this right. What the hell was she doing here anyway? I jump on my bike and head to her apartment.
When I get to her door, I hear banging noises and she's booming This Means War by Avenged Sevenfold. Shit, this is gonna be bad. She didn't shut the door all the way when she got home, so I slowly open it and go inside. I see her breathing heavily and she looks more pissed off then I’ve ever seen her. She must clean when she’s angry because she’s scrubbing her table so fucking hard I think she might take the varnish off. I don't understand why she's pissed, she's the one that keeps saying she doesn’t have feelings for me.
"Jacey, let me explain." She looks up at me, taking the cleaner in her hand and chucking it at me. I dodge just in time as it almost hit me in the forehead. Damn, she’s got good aim. She goes into the kitchen, and stupid me follows behind her. I see her grabbing dishes out of her dishwasher and putting them away.
"There's nothing to explain,” she says, shrugging her shoulder.
"You didn't see what you think you did." She turns on me and starts throwing fucking plates. I have to dodge left and right so I don't get hit, and she keeps them coming.
"Oh, I know what I saw." When she runs out of plates in the dishwasher, she opens the cabinet and starts throwing those. "Get out! Get out of my fucking apartment, you goddamn asshole!”
"Jacey, let me fuckin' explain."
"There is nothing for you to explain! I already said that, dickface! We got into a fight, you had a whore there, you were about to fuck her, end of story!"
"You’re wrong, Lil Mama,” I say, shaking my head at her.
"I'm not! This is what you do," she pants at me, hands free of dishes finally. “You lie and you cheat." What in the actual fuck is going on?
"Lil Mama.” Her expression softens at the use of her nickname. "I wasn't gonna do anything with her. I told her to get off me. I was about to push her away when you came in."
"Why should I believe you? It's not even really cheating, we aren't together. So you wouldn't even consider it cheating!” she says, as she throws her arms up in the air.
"Did I ask you not to fuck anybody else?" She nods.
"Did I tell you we had a good thing and I wasn't lookin' to find somethin' else?" She gives me another nod.
"You need to trust me, Jacey. I've told you how I feel, you’re the one that won't admit your fuckin' feelings. You wanna know what I think about every day?" She gives another nod.
I slowly start walking over to her as I say, "I think about you, Lil Mama. I think about how beautiful you are, how perfect you are. I think about how good you feel when I'm deep inside you, about your taste on my lips, and your smell in my nose. I think about all the ways I wanna make you come, and how goddamn gorgeous you are when I do. I think about when the next time I get to be with you again is. That, Lil Mama, is what I think about every goddamn second of the day. Those club whores, or any other woman, will never measure up to you. I don't lie and I won't fuckin' cheat. Got me?" I see the tears roll down her face and I place my thumbs on the bottom of her cheeks, slowly wiping them away.
"I got you.” Her voice sounds so small. “I didn't like seeing that. I wish I could give myself to you. Bear, I really do."
"Hey, let's not worry about that right now. Why did you come over?"
"Because, I was going to apologize to you for the other night. I don't know what's wrong with me. I’m always making you feel like shit, then turn right around saying I'm sorry."
"I don't know what's wrong with you either," I tell her as we both let out a small laugh.
"I gotta get back to the clubhouse." I give her a kiss on her lips and she deepens it. She moves over to my neck, kissing, licking, nibbling, and sucking at it. I do the same to hers, as my hand runs up under her shirt, feeling her smooth skin while I work my way up to her tit, massaging it. She breaks from my neck and pushes at my chest.
"You said you had to leave. You can go now. I’ve got a mess to clean up." I give her a curious look and she has the most evil smile on her face.
"Alright, I'll text you."
"Yeah, you do that." She's acting fucking strange, but I give her one last kiss on the mouth and forehead, then head back to finish working on my truck. The whole way there I Thank God that shit got fixed. Fucking whores need to learn their place before they’re all out like Jasmine's dumb ass.
Once I get done with my truck for the night, I go in the clubhouse and the guys all look at me, then burst out laughing. The fuck is going on? I go to my room to grab some clean clothes and head into one of the main bathrooms. I'm about to take my clothes off when I see what the fuck they were laughing at. I grab my phone out of my pocket.
Bear: You branded me?
Jacey: Nope, I don’t know what you are talking about :)
Bear: You are not fuckin' funny.
Jacey: Just giving a warning to the whores.
Bear: You're jealous!
Jacey: NO!!
Bear: Yeah you are!
Jacey: Fine maybe a lil :p
Bear: Got a song for you. Nick Jonas remix of Jealous :)
Jacey: Haha u got jokes.
Bear: Nite Lil Mama.
Jacey: Nite Bear.
I put my phone down and get in the shower. My cock is hard as hell from being around her. I have to rub one out, then another before my dick starts going down. She infuriates me a lot, yet she makes me feel so many other things. Tonight just proved she has feelings, I just have to get her to admit it. When I'm outta the shower, I head back to my room, lay down, and try coming up with a plan to get my woman.
Jacey
It's been about a month since the BBQ and a week since I last saw Bear. Zoey came back to work two weeks ago and found out she was pregnant. Before I went to the clubhouse to the BBQ, I realized I had missed my period and had been feeling sick.
I had all the symptoms, leading me to believe I might be pregnant too, so I went to the clinic and did a test on myself. That was the longest few minutes of my life, waiting to find out if I was going to be a mom. Sure enough, it came out positive and I about lost my shit, so I took two more. Yep, they were all positive.
God, how could I be so fucking stupid? It fucking figures, that’s just my luck. Then my mind wanders to Bear, and oh God, how would he feel about a baby? How could he support a baby? He doesn't even have a fucking house! I'm sure as hell not going to let my baby live in a motorcycle clubhouse, so my only option was to start a fight with him, make him mad enough so he’ll be done with me for real this time. I’ll raise this baby on my own and he’ll never have to find out.
The only problem I have is that I like Bear, but he goes against the big picture of my future. Actually, it isn't even my plan to begin with. I may be twenty-six years old but I’m still living the life my mother wanted for me. According to her, I was supposed to find a rich guy and marry him, not end up knocked up by a biker.
No matter how hard I’ve tried, I can't deny my feelings for Bear, and when they interfere with what I’m supposed to be doing, that's when I start feeling bad. I message him and apologize, then when he thinks everything is good and fine, I get in my head again. I end up going ‘Crazy Bitch’ on him and I know he thinks I'm insane.
When I went over there and saw him with that whore, it made me go psycho on his ass because I hated seeing another woman touching him. When it comes to Bear, my head, heart, and body are all fighting against each other. I wish it was easy to shut off the heart, then all of this wouldn't be a problem.
He’s messaged me a few times asking if I want to go eat or go for a ride, but I
’ve been telling him that I'm busy. After a few attempts, he quit asking and I haven't heard from him and I certainly haven't reached out either. I think he’s leaving it up to me now, whether or not we see each other. That's fine with me because I'm trying my best to keep distance between us.
Since Zoey and I are both pregnant, that’s all we’ve been talking about in and out of work. It’s fun having someone to talk pregnancy with: the morning sickness, which isn't exclusively morning, being tired all the time, mood swings. Neither of us are showing yet, but when we do, you bet your ass we’ll be complaining about getting fat. We talk about all the good things too. She's so happy to be pregnant and I'm getting there too. I recommended my doctor to her. I see Dr. Greene and she’s amazing. She was my attending physician when I was doing my residency.
When it's time to close up for the night, we go to the front and see that Andrew’s there with that bitch Jasmine. No, this can't be happening, they can't be here. I try to get the door locked quickly, but he’s too fast. He throws the door open, pushing me back and out of the way. I look to Zoey, and she’s just standing there in shock when I notice he has a gun. He points the muzzle back and forth between the two of us: first her, then me and back to her again. Andrew tells us to go into one of the exam rooms, and not wanting to get hurt, we do as asked. When we get into the cramped space, he tells us to sit down. I'm so fucking scared and I know Zoey is too, especially after everything he had done to her over the years that she was with him. This is not good. Once we sit, I grab her, bringing her close to me so we can huddle together.
Jasmine starts laughing and it’s evil and sickening to hear, it makes my stomach turn. I thought I was crazy, but I don't have shit on this bitch. This fucking whore is the epitome of crazy. "So you thought what happened at the club was the end of it? You were wrong, so very wrong. I told you then that you couldn't just come in there and take over."
"I didn't just come there, Hanger brought me there. I didn't do anything to you that you didn't deserve!” she asserts.
I can tell Jasmine is getting angry, her face is turning red and her breathing becomes heavy, then she screams, "You didn't do anything? You didn't fucking do anything wrong? You took him from me, you made him leave me! You took everything! The club, Hanger, everything! You fucking little bitch!”
"That’s enough!" Andrew yells, and it gets deathly quiet. He points the gun at my best friend. "Okay, Zoey, you’re coming back home with me, so Jasmine,” he turns to her, “ you can have your life back." The black haired whore plasters a satisfied smile on her face. I look to Zoey and she’s frantically shaking her head back and forth.
"No, Andrew, I'm not. I'm staying with Hanger."
"You’ve had your fun, now you are coming home with me. You’re mine, Zoey, and that's the end of it."
"I'm not yours, not anymore. You think this has been fun for me? You almost killed me!" she shrieks.
"I see you’ve forgotten who you obey. I guess I’ll have to remind you. Jacey, let go of her."
"No, I'm not letting go." He points the gun at me, then the tears I have been holding back break free, cascading down my face.
"No, Andrew. Oh God, please! Just leave us alone!” Zoey cries to him. He walks over to us and grabs her arm, yanking her away from me. "Don't do this, Andrew, please! Hanger will kill you if you hurt me." She begs as the tears run down her face. We’ll be goddamn lucky to make it out alive.
"You think I'm scared of your little no good boyfriend?" I see him lift his leg, bringing it behind him, and we both scream NO! at the same time, but he doesn’t listen. Zoey tries to cover her stomach to protect the baby, but it doesn't help. Andrew put all of his weight behind that kick. She falls over, lying on the floor in a fetal position. She holds her stomach screaming in pain, screaming how bad it hurts.
I hear Jasmine laugh. "Look at that! Not so tough now, are you bitch? Look at how much pain she’s in! This is so funny! Look how good you did, Andrew!” I go to reach for her, but he knocks my hands away with his foot. I look up at him, narrow my eyes and scream, "She's fucking pregnant!” I don't hear her crying for help anymore and when I look over, I see blood all around her. Zoey’s unconscious now. Oh God no! She’s losing the baby.
Andrew asks, "What do you mean she is pregnant?"
"Just what I said you motherfucker! She’s pregnant, carrying a life! A life that you killed!”
"She let that piece of shit inside of her? Well fuck, she’s tainted now." He raises his gun to her. Oh god, he's going to kill her! I start crying even harder, begging him not to. He gives me an evil smile, pulling back the trigger, when I see Bam Bam come running in and jump in front of her just as I hear the BOOM of the gun ring out. I bring my legs up, putting my forehead against my knees. I cover my ears with my hands, and start screaming. I can't believe this is fucking happening. Even over my screaming, and through my hands, I hear another gunshot. My head snaps up just as I see Jasmine fall to the floor, blood dripping from her forehead, pooling around her. Strong arms wrap around me and I don't stop screaming until I realize it’s Bear holding me. Thank god!
I wrap my arms around him as tight as I can and lay my head on his chest. I'm crying even harder, because he came for me. He whispers in my ear, "Lil Mama, I got you. It’s ok. Shh… Baby, are you alright? I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise. Are you hurt?" I shake my head no. "Good, I'm gonna take care of you. Nothing can hurt you now. Believe me baby, it’s all gonna be fine. You are gonna be fine, Jacey. We are gonna handle this, but you don't tell anybody what happened, okay?" I nod, then ask, "What's going to happen to Andrew?"
"Hanger's gonna kill him, Jacey." I look up to him as he cups my cheek in his large hand.
"That's what we do, Lil Mama. We protect what's ours. He won’t be able to hurt her again. Shit, he won’t hurt anybody again for that matter." I nod and lay my head back against his chest.
Just letting him hold me makes me feel warm, safe, and protected for the first time that I can remember, and it's real. Watching Hanger hold Zoey while punching Andrew, I finally get it now. I get how she fell in love with him, along with the other brothers. I get now what she means to Hanger. I understand the love they have for each other, and it's unlike anything I've ever seen.
Could I have the same if I just open up and let Bear in? I don't think I can do that. Bear picks me up as we hear the ambulance coming and carries me outside.
"Do you have your keys?"
"Yeah, they’re in my pocket."
"Well give 'em to me,” he says, as he holds his hand out.
"Oh no fucking way. You are not driving my baby."
"Yes, I am. You don't need to drive right now. Hand them over and get in the fuckin' car."
"Fine, but you hurt her in any way, I will castrate you."
"Your precious car will be fine."
I climb into the passenger seat and he takes me straight to the hospital. After he parks, I head to the doors but I have to turn around. I can’t go in there yet. I walk right back to Bear's open arms. He must have known I wasn't ready because he got out of the car as well, but he wasn't going in.
I gaze up at him as I tell him, “I have to stay out here for a while. I'm scared to go in there and see her.”
He doesn’t say anything in return, just keeps me wrapped up in his big frame, and I lay my head on his chest, relaxing into his embrace while he rubs my back. He doesn't try to move, he just keeps soothing and comforting me. I don't know how long we’ve been out here, but when I finally get the courage to go in, I see her family standing outside of her room.
The E.R. must've been quick with getting her taken care of. Most of the time it takes hours before you get a room, but I'm sure Hanger probably had something to do with that. After I give all her family hugs, I see Hanger coming out of her room to tell us we can go in, and he's not looking too good.
As we all walk in, I see her sleeping on the hospital bed, hooked up to monitors, and it hurts to take in. I’ve been against the clu
b and what they do all this time, but in this moment right here, I hope they make that son of a bitch suffer for what he did.
When Dr. Greene comes in and tells all of us that she lost the baby, it’s devastating. We all cry for her and Hanger losing what they wanted so badly. Christ, she didn't even get to tell her family she was pregnant. She wanted to wait just a couple more weeks to be in the 'safe zone'.
Hanger comes back in, asking me what happened tonight with a look of determination set on his face. When I tell him, my hand instantly goes to my stomach, and I see the strange look he gives me, but he looks resolved, like he knows what he’ll do to that piece of shit. It won't be pretty or quick.
Hanger’s going to make Andrew pay with a slow painful death, I just know it because the look in his eyes says it all. It's time for all of us to go and give Hanger time alone with Zoey. He needs to tell her what happened with their baby, and they need their time to mourn.
When I get outside, Bear is there, leaning up against my car smoking a cigarette. I walk up to him. "Thank you for everything. You didn't have to wait."
"Don't thank me, Lil Mama. I wanna be the one that's there for you, and the way I see it, I need a ride back to my bike." I guess he’s right. I didn't even think about that.
"How is she?" He jerks his chin towards the hospital.
"She was asleep, but she lost the baby."
"Fuck. Nobody even knew she was pregnant."
"Yeah, she wanted to wait a couple more weeks until they told everyone. I only knew because I did the test for her."
"Are you going to be okay to drive home?"
“Yeah, I'll be fine. Let me take you to your bike."
We get back to his bike, and before he can get out I grab his hand, stopping him.
"Bear, will you come over? I don't want to be alone."
"Yeah, I can do that." I give him a nod.
He gets out, goes to his bike, and then follows me to my apartment. We get parked at my complex, and he gets off his bike to come and open the door for me. He helps me out of my car, then puts his arm around my shoulders. I keep thinking about what would’ve happened if they didn't get there in time. I'm so glad he's here giving me the support to keep me on my feet as we walk inside my apartment. I hand him my keys to let us in and just like every time, he shuts and locks the door. Bear leads me over to the couch, sitting me down before he walks down the hall towards the bathroom. A little while later he comes back, puts his hands out to help me up, then walks me back to where he was. He lit candles and ran a bubble bath for me.
