“Three years now. Why?”
“So do you feel you know him well?” I asked.
“Yes, very well.”
“Cayden worries about my safety. Do you know what it is he worries so much about? I mean the photographers are quite horrible, but his worry seems to go deeper than the pesky paparazzi.”
“He is afraid someone will threaten you or hurt you.”
“When you say someone, who do you mean?”
“No one in particular but Cayden does have a fear for your safety if the press would link you and him. Some of the more fanatical fans might threaten you.”
“And in the time you have known him, has anyone ever tried to harm him or threaten him?”
“All movie stars have some strange people lurking around, but no one has actively tried to harm him,” Jayden replied.
“And there have been no threats to harm him?”
“Nothing of much consequence.” Jayden took off his sunglasses and stared at me. “Why are you asking? Have you heard something I need to know?”
“No. It’s just something I am worried about,” I confessed.
“Winter, try not to worry. Cayden is well guarded, and he is much more careful about things than you are.” Jayden paused. “I am sorry. That was not very nice of me.”
“No, Jayden, you are right. What I did was stupid. I am sorry. I can promise you it will never happen again. And never worry about being honest with me. I appreciate honesty no matter what.”
Jayden actually smiled. I needed to make a note of this occasion, so I glanced at the date and time on my watch. It was March twenty-first at 10:23 in the morning.
After a long hot shower along with a fresh change of comfortable clothes, I sat at my laptop and completed the script. As I had suspected, it was only a few hours of work to complete it. I sat quietly staring at the bright light of the computer screen for, I don’t know how long, speculating on what I was going to do.
Even with the knowledge the script was done, there was no celebration on my part. In fact, I felt empty instead of happy. The script gave me an excuse for being here, for staying, but now what did I have? It wasn’t as if I could tell the world I’m here, because my love is here. I could not truly explain being here other than to be Chandler’s woman. Realistically, at some point this whole house of cards I’d built would come crashing down around me, I knew it.
I supposed I could continue with my latest project, but I stared at the shiny thin computer. I frowned. It wasn’t actually my own laptop; all of my work was home in Colorado. I’d borrowed the laptop from Zander. I thought about home. I knew the press had disclosed where I lived. I pondered the idea of moving, leaving Colorado. I seriously contemplated, wondering if I should make arrangements to move. How strange it was even to think about moving, but I had to consider it.
I decided to call Zander. I let him know I was done with the script. He was thrilled to hear it and told me he would be over to see the final draft. I apologized to him at length for my behavior yesterday and, as usual, gained his apology for everything being so crazy. Strangely, Zander felt the need to apologize to me. I assured him it was not necessary and laid the entire debacle at my feet where it needed to be.
I told Zander about my hesitation to leave on Thursday, not sure going to California with Chandler and Cayden would be a good idea. Zander assured me he would be going as well and not to worry. We could play the whole thing off as a business meeting while Cayden was completing his prior obligations. The interviews were part of the press junket for Cayden’s movie, Memories of a Dream, and it would seem the GQ photo shoot would be with his other co-star and on-screen brother, Jackson Simms. Promotional photographs for their current movie that I finished writing.
I confessed to Zander I knew about the problems in the past with threats made to Cheryl Lynn then proceeded to tell him how I was more than concerned for Cayden’s safety if it were to come out about us. I still had my original concerns for Cayden’s image along with what the studio would think, but this recent concern far outweighed any of my other distress. Zander must have heard the fear in my voice. He tried desperately to assure me Cayden would be fine, telling me no one had ever tried to harm Cayden.
I acknowledged the need to make some hard decisions. I knew if I had to, I may need to hurt myself and Cayden in order to keep him safe. Telling Zander, “I cannot lose Cayden in that way. I could not live through another loss.”
“Winter, you simply can’t live in fear and allow the past to rule your future,” Zander replied.
“Zander, to even think of someone hurting Cayden, especially over me, because of me….” I hesitated. There were no words to explain. “I would rather live through the pain of leaving him, than someone physically hurting him. I know what it is like to live without him, but if I left I would at least know he existed even if my existence without him would be a faint echo again.”
Zander became very quiet while I spoke my fears, my thoughts as well as my confessions. He said to me he understood my pain, understood my fears, and only I could make the final decision as to what would be best. He added he knew Cayden and I loved each other.
“Winter, this conversation will stay between us. It will go no further,” Zander promised.
“Zander,” I said quietly. “If it would come to that, if I would have to leave him. Would you promise me to do whatever you could for Cayden? Would you find a way to help him, keep him from doing anything stupid?”
“I promise I would try, Winter, but you must know better than anyone what it would do to him if you left.”
“Yes,” I whispered. I knew what it would do to both of us.
Zander ended with, “I will do what I can to help you and to help Cayden no matter which way you decide.”
No matter which way I decide, rang out within my head like a broken record.
Chapter Four
The Perfect Storm
Jayden and I went jogging, a lot. And each time he would question me as to what I was so worried about. I lied, trying hard to push myself and my body further with each run. I fell into an old habit, trying to out run the pain and finding as I already knew, there was no way to out it. The thought of someone hurting Cayden plagued me. The idea of leaving him haunted me as if our separation from each other was inevitable, but it was, it has always been inevitable. Forever does not exist.
Wednesday evening had arrived, and I was standing on the balcony of my bedroom when it started to rain. I lifted my chin to the heavens, toward the dark night sky, and the cold drops hit my face, cheeks, lips, and hair. It didn’t take long before I was soaking wet. The ivory long sleeve shirt I wore was plastered to me, and my jeans were beginning to soak through, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was Cayden. How could I ever live without him?
“Winter!”
In the distance of my mind, I heard Cayden’s voice calling out to me.
“What are you doing?” he asked. “Winter. It’s too cold. You are going to get sick.” Cayden’s arms encased me. He pulled me from the rain, into the warmth of the bedroom. He let loose of me and almost sprinted into the bathroom. I saw him pull one of the large fluffy white towels from the cabinet. He turned with a sense of urgency, and immediately came back to me. “What are you thinking?” Once he reached me, he unbuttoned my shirt, peeled it from my wet skin, and threw the soaked garment to the floor. Cayden whipped the towel out. It made a snapping sound before he wrapped the dry warm towel around me. “Winter, baby?”
Cayden stared at me. The expression upon his face, one of pain. He rubbed my arms with his hands as if the friction would warm the coldness I felt in my heart. It hit me. I wasn’t speaking.
“Sorry,” I said.
“Love, what were you doing standing in the cold rain?” He glanced down at my feet. “And you don’t have on any shoes.”
“I don’t know. I was just thinking. I guess I stopped paying attention.”
“Take those wet jeans off, too,” he instructed
before he headed back into the bathroom for another towel.
I shed the jeans and left them in a wet lump in the middle of the floor.
“I love you,” I said when he came back.
He threw a new towel over my hair and started to rub it dry. “I love you, too. Tell me what is wrong?”
I placed my face to his chest, burying away my pain and taking in the scent of him. “Nothing is wrong.”
“Winter, tell me,” he pressed.
“Nothing, it’s nothing. I go a little crazy when you’re gone, but you are home now. We are together. That’s all that matters.”
“I have missed you,” he said. Cayden’s arms circled my waist and he picked me up from the floor. My feet dangled. “Do you know how much I hate to be away from you?”
“I know how much I hate being away from you.”
The towels fell to the carpet when I draped my arms around his strong neck and my legs around his perfectly tight waist, hooking my ankles behind his back. Cayden laughed his low musical laugh and brushed his nose into my hair. “I love how your hair smells. It’s like flowers and fruit, peaches.”
“I have missed you so much, Cayden.” I kissed him. It was a long time before I released him from my kiss.
Cayden’s eyes, silver-gray, flashed. “I think maybe you did miss me. But never bet it is as much as I have missed you,” he assured with his brilliant bright white smile.
I shivered. Whether from his eyes, words or touch I do not know, but probably from the combination of all of them.
“Cayden, make love to me.”
“You’re still cold,” he said. “Come on.” He carried me into the bathroom.
“I don’t care how cold I am. Please, make love to me.”
Cayden put me down. My bare feet felt the cool tiles beneath them. Cayden walked over to the stereo. He pulled back the glass wall panel and turned it on. He bent down, took off his black Adidas, and stripped off his socks. He placed them inside his shoes. With an underhanded toss, he threw the shoes out the bathroom door. They made a dull thud on the carpet in the other room when they landed.
There I stood. In the middle of the bathroom in my bra and panties, my hair tangled and wet, goose bumps covering my skin, mascara running down my cheeks, and probably looking pathetic, but I could not keep my eyes from Cayden. He turned on the steam and hot water in the shower. Placed his hands under the stream of water that was shooting down from overhead. He turned around, smiled tenderly, and closed the glass doors. The water hit the glass of the shower and mixed into the sound of the rain that pelted the roof. Everything melted into the music that played, becoming a symphony of rain.
“Please,” I said.
Cayden looked at me intently. He raked his penetrating gaze over my body. “I have every intention of making love to you, but I need to get you warm first.” His fingertips traced down my cheek, over the surface of my lips, down my throat then over my right shoulder. The warm water that was still on his hands trickled over the surface of my skin in every place he touched me. I trembled with his touch. Softly, he rubbed the mascara smudges from my cheeks.
“Cayden…,” I whispered.
“You are so utterly beautiful.” His lips skimmed over my shoulder, and his fingers made their way to the front of my bra. “I can’t believe how beautiful you are.” With dexterous skill, he unhooked the golden clasp, sending my bra sliding down the surface of my skin until it hit the tiled floor at my feet.
“Cayden, I need you,” I murmured against his chest.
“Baby,” he whispered against my neck. “You have me. You know I’m yours.”
Throwing myself into him, I wrapped my arms around his neck; my mouth frantically searched for his lips. We kissed with an aching in my soul. I wanted every part of Cayden to touch me. Needed to feel the exquisite sensation of his warm skin upon mine. Desperation surged through me. My hands slid down his shirt. Gripped it. Ripped the buttons free and exposed his flesh. The buttons bounced and tapped across the tiled floor. One pinged off the glass of the shower door. My anxious fingers explored the length of his stomach until I came to his jeans. I unbuttoned them, allowing my right hand to drift lower. Cayden was fevered and firm inside my hand.
Cayden picked me up again, his lips eager against mine, his mouth moving with my mouth as his breath, warm in my mouth, found its place. Cayden’s tongue tangled deeply with mine. He never let loose of my body, shedding his jeans by stepping on the bottom edge of his right pant leg, yanking his legs free.
“Cayden,” I moaned. I stroked his manhood. “I need you so much.”
“God,” he groaned.
Cayden fondled my waist, outlining the top of my panties with his fingers. He brushed so lightly over the canvas of my skin that it sent shivers over my entire body. His hand rested for a moment on my hip before tucking fingers into the top of my waistband. Cayden grabbed the material firmly.
“Do it,” I said, placing my mouth to his.
Cayden complied with my wish. He pulled my pink lace underwear free from my body in one tug. The sound of material ripping filled the room, freeing me from any further restraint.
“Winter,” he said, hungry. He put me down, backed me three steps against the wall, and looked at me as if he was ravenous.
Desire burned me as I touched his bare chest. I longed to taste him, so my lips followed the flow of my hands, lingering at one of his hard nipples. Cayden raised my chin with his nose, kissed my throat, jaw, and moved toward my mouth until he firmly kissed me. I traced the rippled surface of his back with my hands. When his mouth left mine, Cayden slithered down my body, painting me with his tongue.
“Nothing tastes as good as you, baby. All I have thought about today is this,” he said, pressing his tongue in-between my folds.
Cayden lifted my leg and placed my right foot on the side of the tub. He parted me with his tongue. Licked my clitoris until I moaned in pleasure. I came with a bang, gratification bursting through me like bubbles, effervescent, popping through my body. I glanced down at him. He smiled, kissed each shaking thigh, each hip, my bellybutton then slid back up my body. He picked me up and carried me inside the shower where the water hit our intertwined bodies.
The heat overtook our bodies. The steam and the water wound down us, between us, rained over our heads and cascaded down our faces. Within the torrent, Cayden’s mouth made its way to mine again. We kissed, devouring each other while the water drizzled hot over us. Cayden’s tongue wound its way over my flesh, following the stream of water that twisted down my neck before his lips kissed the hollow of my throat.
“Please…I need you,” I moaned. Every part of me ached for him. I pressed his hand between my thighs. He rubbed my pert clit with a wet slide of his fingers. My hand slid over his erect wet cock.
“Winter,” he whispered into my throat in a low thick voice all the while he touched my aching sex.
“Finger me, Cayden.” He did with expert precision, long, deep strokes. I pumped his cock in my fist.
I shook. My sex quivered around his fingers. Cayden moved me.
“Not yet,” he said.
I felt the tiles of the shower wall against my back, and experienced him hard-pressed in-between my legs. The steely hardness of him rubbed me intimately. I closed my eyes, hitched my hip, and his hand grasp me behind the knee. He lifted my right leg past his hip. I held onto his strong shoulders. Cayden gave me what I longed for. I came as he entered me. He pumped past the contractions of my climax, hitting my g-spot as my pussy clinched around him. Cayden not only entered me but he entered my mind, heart, and soul, whispering against the soft wet skin of my neck. Spiraling into pleasure, I liquefied, listening to his voice melt into every sensation happening to me.
When the water turned cold, we exited the shower, satisfied, dripping wet, not to mention a bit breathless. I wiped my hand over the large framed mirror on the wall that hung over the pedestal sink. Within the swipe, I saw our reflections. Like a tribute to perfection, Cayden sto
od behind me, smiling at me in the mirror. His mirrored eyes met mine. I watched his hands run up each side of my body, trace over the curves, slide up and cup both breasts within his hands. We were framed like artwork. Caught within the reflection of the glass.
“Look how stunning you are,” Cayden murmured into my ear.
I moved my hand to reach up over my head to his jaw, his lips. “Cayden, you take my breath. I love you so much it hurts,” I admitted.
Cayden kissed my hand, my inner wrist. “I know exactly what you mean.” He kissed the top of my head. “I love you, Winter. I will love you forever.”
Forever. The word bathed me in sadness. Forever did not exist.
Chapter Five
Tinsel Town
As was customary, doing anything became a production. One large entourage, two limousines, one SUV, one strategic meeting including a review of Cayden’s schedule and witness to fifteen phone calls later, I boarded the private jet with Chandler, Cayden, Zander, Melissa, Langdon and Jayden. I yawned wildly. It was early, too early. I only had a couple hours of sleep. It was going to be at least a four-hour flight, so maybe I could rest during the flight?
“What the hell are you doing to her, Cayden? Winter never looks this exhausted until you show up.” Chandler chuckled wickedly, his husky voice breaking through the silence. I blushed. Cayden punched his brother in the arm. “Ouch!” Chandler said, rubbing the top of his arm but he continued chuckling. He was quite amused with himself.
Langdon and Jayden took their seats toward the front of the jet while Zander and Melissa sat behind Chandler, Cayden, and I.
“Baby, is that your cell phone?” Cayden asked.
“Yeah.” I was already pulling it from my bag and looking at the number. “It’s my publisher.” I flipped open my phone, “Hi, Gail, what’s up?” I watched Cayden and Chandler wrestle around while Gail gave me some strange news. “Are you serious?” I asked, and as soon as I said that, Cayden stopped what he was doing to focus on me.
“What?” Cayden asked.
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