“I love you, Cayden,” I whispered softly.
He located the side slit to my dress and moved the material until he exposed both thighs. Cayden kissed my thighs. “And I am the luckiest man in the world because you do,” he replied, blowing his warm breath across each kiss.
Chills scattered across my body. Cayden swiped his fingertip across the excitement of my flesh. Every part of my body hummed, shivered, and chilled, yet deep inside a fire burned. He moved, stood up, and looked down at me as though I was something to be admired before picking me up from the bed. He held me close. Placed my feet upon the ground. Cayden never broke his midnight blue gaze from my eyes.
I lifted my hand to his face, brushed my fingers along his jaw, and touched his lips. He smiled tenderly. Kissed my fingers. His hand slid up my arm before both his arms wrapped around me. Cayden released each button on the back of my dress. Once they were loose, he pulled the straps of my dress off my shoulders. My designer gown fell in a silky green pile at my feet.
I slipped my hands inside his tuxedo jacket and experienced the warmth of his body before I moved my hands over his shoulders, moving his jacket back. Cayden shifted his arms. His jacket hit the floor. I pulled his crisp white shirt from his pants and unbuttoned it. He slipped it off. His shirt joined his jacket. I permitted my hands to run over the canvas of his chest. I felt the strength of him. My hands traced his stomach before I kissed each spot my hands had touched. Cayden’s eyes closed. His head bobbed back while I kissed his flesh.
“Cayden, you are truly beautiful.”
He let out a low chuckle. “I’m glad you think so however, I’m not real sure men qualify as beautiful.”
My hands brushed over his chest once more. “Trust me, babe.” I kissed his throat. “You are beautiful.”
I stepped out of the pile of green at my feet and walked over to the bed. I crawled onto the bed and gradually removed my sheer panties. I lay back when I was free of them. Cayden stared at me intently before he moved again. He pulled off his shoes then took off his pants. My eyes worshiped every piece of him. I gloried at his beauty, understanding I would need to keep this memory with me. So that’s what I would do. Worship him. Adore him. Love him as if there was no tomorrow. After all, we are none promised a tomorrow.
“Sit up, baby,” he said in a low voice.
I smiled and sat up on the bed. Cayden came around behind me. I heard the rustle of the sheets as he slid onto the bed. His hands swept my braided hair back. He kissed the base of my neck, slid his lips up my skin until his tongue stopped at the tip of my earlobe. He flicked my lobe with his tongue, sucked it, then his mouth meandered to the back of my neck were he’d started. Hot breath gusted across my flesh. A ripple of pleasure rolled over me. Cayden kissed down the entire curve of my spine, lingering in the sweet spot at the base. I shook and arched forward. He gave a low murmur of pleasure.
Cayden’s arms wrapped around me before two warm hands covered my breasts. He pulled my bare back into his bare chest, allowing me to move to my knees. Cayden bent me forward at the waist. When his hands shimmied down my sides and firmly held my hips, the core of me moistened. His strong fingers splayed across my skin. The thought of what he would do with them enticed me.
Cayden’s body curved over my back, his chest to my shoulder blades, his waist at the small of my back. I shivered when his warm lips kissed my shoulder blades. He slid me back toward him before skimming his hands over the curve of my butt in a lingering way. He explored my body as if he were completely fascinated by the lines of me. Especially the intimate crease of me. I moaned. He squeezed the plumpness of my cheeks, before he moved his fingers inward.
“So beautiful,” he murmured.
Cayden brushed his fingers up my inner folds. He let out a low soft groan of satisfaction when he felt my body twitch to the flashes of sensation that caused me to shift back toward him. He narrowed his touch. Circled over the hard tip between my legs. I swayed my hips in motion to the rasping movement against my wet sex. I thought I would lose my mind from the sensation. His finger worked my wanting. I needed more. As if he read my thoughts, Cayden pushed two of his fingers knowingly into me. His other hand pressed into the small of my back, arching me farther into his touch.
Cayden filled me with a full sensation that made me quiver. I heard him groan. The sound deep and sexy. He leaned over my back and fingered my slick, tight sheath while kissing my neck. His teeth grazed over my right shoulder blade. When Cayden pulled his fingers from my body, I glanced over my shoulder to see him lift them to his lips. The look upon his face was pure satisfaction as he placed his slick digits into his mouth. He groaned before his mouth moved to my ear.
Cayden whispered softly. The vibration of his voice danced across my skin as he said, “So sweet.”
“Cayden…,” I moaned.
He shifted his body. With a slow push inward, he parted my inner muscles and filled me with his cock. We both moaned in unison, moving together, locking and unlocking like pieces to a sensual puzzle. I arched back, picked my hands up from the bed and continued to sway with him. My back, my shoulder blades, slid against his strong chest. We were kneeling upon our knees, worshiping each other and loving as one.
I lifted shaky arms up over my head and latched my hands around the back of his neck. Fingers twined into the nape of his silky hair. Cayden’s right hand followed up the slope of my belly until he claimed what was his. Tingles shot across me when his thumb slid across each erect nipple. He squeezed one then the other before his hand glided up the front of my throat and chin. He placed his index finger into my mouth. I moaned and sucked his finger while his other hand squeezed and kneaded my left breast.
“Aaa…, Cayden.” His hand dropped to my shoulder.
His mouth was at my ear, his breath warm. “Winter,” he whispered my name over and over.
“Cayden, I can’t live without you,” I muttered, telling my fear.
“I will never let you go. You are mine, Winter. I am yours. We will always be.”
Cayden moved, stirred my very soul. He was holding me, making love to me with his words as he also made love to my body. He lied us down onto our sides. Spooned my body from behind. Kept his body in perfect rhythm with mine. The tears flowed down my cheeks until they found a home upon his strong hands.
Cayden told me how much he loved me.
“Winter, you are my love, my life.” With every thrust he made, he said, “I love you,” wanting to drive the point home, press the words deep into me.
His name fell from my lips. “Cayden, my Cayden.”
Cayden slid out of me then he plunged back inside, “I love you,” he said. My breath caught. “Give me your fears, baby, let them go.”
“There are things you cannot promise, Cayden. Things you cannot….”
His hand held my stomach, his other held my breast and he rocked inside of me as he spoke. “Let go, baby, leave the fears, let go of all those impossibilities you fight against.”
“Cayden, we can be separated even if we wish otherwise. There are things in life we cannot fight against, things we cannot control.”
“Winter, do you know that I love you?”
He throbbed inside of me and pushed deep.
My breath caught. “Yes.”
“Do you trust me?”
“With everything that I am, I trust you.”
“Then trust you will never lose me.” Something happened. Cayden seemed to understand the root of all my insecurities, all my fears. He knew it went deeper than the mere jealousy of all the beautiful women who surrounded him. “Austin told you he would never leave you, didn’t he, baby?”
I broke. Crashed into the remaining remnants of that wall I constructed and tried so hard to hide from Cayden, but I could not hide. My body gave. He pulled me into his hold as I uttered one single word that punched through me and hit Cayden squarely.
“Yes.”
Cayden held me tight. He went completely still before he pulled out of my
body. He turned me so I was facing him before he gently kissed my lips. “He never left you, Winter.”
“Yes he did, Cayden. He left. He promised to stay with me always, something he could not promise because he died. There is no forever, Cayden.”
“No,” he protested, “do you love him?”
Tears streamed down my face. “Yes, as I love you.”
Cayden reached up and touched my face. My tears rolled down his fingers.
“Do you still think about him?”
What could I say but the truth?
“Yes.”
Cayden placed his hand to my heart and said quietly, “He is here, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
He placed his other hand to my temple and whispered, “And he is here.”
“Yes.”
“Austin never really left. You hold him within you.” I closed my eyes, allowing the knowledge of Cayden’s words to fill me. “I will never leave you, Winter.”
Cayden kissed the corner of my mouth. The tears rolled down my cheeks. He brushed his lips softly over my lips, over my eyelids, the tip of my nose before peppering kisses along my face, and down my neck. His hands went beneath my shoulder blades. He rolled me to my back and slid between my thighs.
“Winter, do you know you are mine?”
“Yes.”
He moved. In one smooth thrust, he was inside of me, deep. I moaned at the sensation as my body took him.
“Do you know I would never let anyone hurt you?”
“Yes, Cayden.”
“Do you believe we are meant to be?”
“Yes.”
Cayden rubbed his hips against me. It sent bolts of pleasure through me in an indescribable powerful force.
“Do you know I would never hurt you?” he asked.
I moaned, “Yes….”
“Tell me, baby. Do you know you will never lose me?”
“I know you love me.” I breathed. I experienced the sensation of his body, his words, his touch, but I was unable to find the courage to believe I would never lose him, for the day I found him I feared losing him, and I also knew if I had to, I would let him go to keep him safe.
Cayden moved again. He enveloped me into his complete embrace. “You will never lose me. Please believe it, trust and never forget it.”
I surrendered in this moment because he wished me to. Believing because he was right. He would always be with me as Austin was. There was something unbreakable about our bond. Cayden would always be a part of me. He was already a part of me, and part of him was growing inside my womb. I needed to tell him about the baby. Tomorrow. I would tell him, tomorrow.
“Yes…” I rasped. “I won’t ever forget, Cayden.”
“Never, Winter. You will never lose me. You and I are here,” he said. He touched my heart. I knew he felt the beat of it as he placed my hand to his heart. “And here.” He placed his forehead to mine. “And here.” He gazed deeply into my eyes. “Forever, Winter.”
And in this flash in time we were…forever.
“I have never wanted anyone but you. I ache for you, Winter.”
“As I ache for you, Cayden.”
His hands roamed over my hip. He pressed himself into me, moving his hand lower, rubbing against the bud of my desire as it bloomed beneath his expert fingers. Cayden kept perfect time, circling his fingers against my swollen quivering flesh while he moved himself inside of me in smooth strokes. We were joined, bodies slapping, deeper and harder.
“Come for me, baby,” he whispered in my ear. “I want to feel you come around me. I want to feel your body hold my body tight within you.”
I relented. My body quivered, spilling over in a torrent. “Oh…Cayden.” I moaned before the breath was sucked from me.
“That’s it, baby, I love you,” he said.
Cayden bit my neck softly when I bore down from climax. He groaned in response. When my body calmed, he pulled out of me to lie back on the bed. I turned around, crawled toward him, and brushed the palms of my hands across the entire canvas of his sculptured body. His body was put together in tribute to the male form. I watched his skin, his muscles, as they reacted to my touch. I wanted to hold onto every sensation, every movement of his glorious body.
My hands ran up his thighs, over the base of his penis, up his hips and followed the cut of the muscle there. “Cayden, I could look at you for the rest of my life and never get tired of seeing your perfection.”
He smiled, reached out and touched my face. I licked his chest, passed my tongue over his pecks, up his neck, and nibbled beneath his ear.
“We are in agreement, Winter. I could look at you for the rest of my life and never get tired of seeing your perfection just as I could never get tired of feeling your touch, feeling your body against mine or being inside of you. I crave you.”
I straddled his rock tight waist and lowered myself down onto the warmth of him, not putting Cayden inside of me but riding the length of him. I slid myself against his hard cock. He felt right between my feminine folds. We both groaned in unison at the sensation. My hands rested on his strong chest. I anchored myself to him. Cayden was my anchor in the storm of desire that rolled over me, and he was my anchor in life. He took so much from me yet gave me so much more in return. He saved me more than once. Gave me everything, including himself. I knew there was nothing he wouldn’t do for me. He’d even break his own heart or give his own life to save me, as I would do the same for him.
Cayden looked at me with his blazing blue eyes. He never broke his gaze from my eyes as we continued our worship of each other. His large hands shimmered down the entire length of my back before he grabbed at my hips. “Lift up, Winter. I need to be inside of you. I need to feel the pulse of your body, the heat.”
I lifted up. He positioned himself to the opening of my desire. My core was hot, wet, and wanted him fiercely. He pushed up with his hips. I shifted down with mine. I welcomed the sensation, the hard heat of him as I slid down his length, little by little. When my inner muscles parted, taking him inside of my body, the wonder of it left a sting that could not be tamed until Cayden was all the way in. I took him in, every inch. At that angle, he nudged the top of my cervix with his manhood. Being that deep filled me with the sensation of pain overridden by exquisite pleasure. I rocked my body against him, arched my back, and threw my arms behind me. I rested the palms of my hands on the top of his muscular thighs, closed my eyes, and rode him.
“You are so beautiful, stay with me, look at me,” he whispered as his hands covered my breasts.
I shifted forward, gazing back into the eyes of my life. “Ah….” I moaned only to find my hands, my nails, boring into his chest. “Oh God,” I exclaimed as I came to the surface again. I ground down in bliss. The tears streamed down my cheeks. My body let go. I shook with an explosion of sheer pleasure: every motion, stroke, heightened, electric. My thighs squeezed, shook. My feminine muscles clinched around his cock. He groaned.
“That’s it, let go,” Cayden murmured.
His eyes burned into mine. Electricity shot through every part of me. The connection to Cayden who was my love, life, heart, and soul was almost beyond words. The pull I experienced in the moment was in fact spiritual and fervent. As Cayden watched me, his eyes seemed to wrench me from inside and drew all that made me into him as I climaxed for a second time. Cayden rose up from beneath me, still moving with me. He wrapped his arms around my waist. His muscles flexing against my skin. He held me tighter, closer. Our breath mingled, our mouths touched.
“I have you, Winter. I will never let you go,” he whispered.
“Cayden, I love you.” I breathed, nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck. I licked his neck, tasting the salty flavor of him. I savored him.
Cayden maneuvered my body with experienced precision as he rolled me onto my back. He never broke apart from me and never removed his gaze from mine. His rhythm, continuous. He was on fire, and nowhere close to surrender yet. Again and again he pulled out
of my body slowly then pressed back inside, deep, deeper. Then he moved harder, faster, whispering my name into my ear.
He engulfed my mouth. His tongue tangled with mine. He made love to every part of me, including my mouth. Cayden plucked pleasure from my body one pearl at a time. I rose to the top and climaxed for a third time. I closed my eyes, threw my head back, bowing my back. My hands clutched onto his strong shoulders then slicked down the surface of his back. I pulled against the muscles flexing beneath my hands.
“I love you!” I exclaimed in exaltation.
“Winter, you have no idea what you do to me. Stay with me baby, look at me,” he urged, breathless.
I opened my eyes and stared into Cayden’s eyes. “Cayden.”
“There are my eyes,” he said. “I will never let you go.”
Cayden’s hands were at my face, shoulders, breasts, loving me in the dimming shadow of the silvered light. I quaked against the steely strength of him. He was relentless. I shook and moaned in such pleasure as if I were filled with a thousand points of light. Cayden intertwined his hands with mine, raising them over my head as he pumped into my body. He kissed my neck, my mouth then sucked a nipple into his mouth.
“I’m going to come.” I breathed.
It was then Cayden surrendered. He groaned while clutching my body to his even tighter. Oh God, I love this man. As if Cayden could hear my thoughts, he shouted out, “Oh God, I love this woman!” All the while, pumping his body into mine, hungry for release.
We were constricting around each other in pure unbridled bliss, wrapped together as we concluded our worship with a closing prayer of exquisite ecstasy moaning and coming in perfect harmony, together.
Chapter Thirteen
Ghost from the Past
The sensation of my stomach rolling in a wave of nausea woke me up from a deep sleep. I glanced quickly to my left and noticed Cayden wasn’t with me. As much as I hated to wake to find him gone, this time I was actually a bit relieved. I ran into the bathroom, knelt down, and let loose of the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I quickly flushed the toilet, brushed my teeth, and cleaned myself up from lovemaking before leaving the bathroom.
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