by Julia Goda
Table of Contents
Be Here Now
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Enjoy other works by Julia Goda
About the Author
Be Here Now
by
Julia Goda
Copyright
Copyright © 2015 Julia Goda
All Rights reserved.
e-book ISBN:
978-0-9940944-1-4
All Rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, scanning, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to characters, organizations, or events of real life described in this novel is either a product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction.
Dedication
To Andre,
my dear husband, my best friend, the only person that I take a kick in the behind from without complaining (too much)—and frequently do.
Thank you for supporting me on this amazing journey.
Like so many things in my life, I couldn’t have done it without you
.
Chapter 1
Prologue
LORELEY
Eight Years Earlier
The beginnings of Pearl Jam’s Given To Fly woke me out of my deep slumber. Thinking it was my alarm, I fumbled for the snooze button knowing that I could at least push it three more times. I was a snooze button girl and always set my alarm to wake me a good twenty minutes before I actually had to get up.
I hated mornings. I didn’t do mornings. And since it was Saturday and I didn’t have any early classes, my alarm should not be going off at this hour. I must have forgotten to turn it off last night.
I hit the snooze button.
Nothing happened.
I opened my eyes just enough so I could peek at the alarm clock on my bedside table. It was 9:30 and the little red button next to the words Alarm On was not lit, which meant it wasn’t the alarm that was making the noise. It was my phone. The ringing stopped, then immediately started up again. I ignored it and pulled the blanket over my head. Whoever called me at this hour on the weekend knew better and could leave a message. It stopped again and thankfully, stayed silent. I rolled over, snuggling deep under the blanket and into the pillow, and went back to sleep.
What seemed like only seconds later, I was woken up again. This time, someone was knocking on my door.
“Go away, Chris!”
Silence for a second, then the knocking started up again.
Arrgh!
I opened my eyes. He had got to be kidding me.
I grabbed the blanket, shoved it back angrily, and stomped to the door as I ranted.
“Since when do your hook-ups kick you out this early? You better have coffee if you expect me to—”
I opened the door and froze mid-sentence.
It wasn’t Chris, my ex-boyfriend now best friend, who was standing in front of me.
It was Jason Sanders.
Jason Sanders, the extremely good-looking singer and guitarist of the Indie rock band I had seen at the bar the night before. He was also one of the most notorious players on campus, which was why I had blown him off when he approached me after the gig at first. But against my better judgement, I had ended up talking to him and had been surprised at how easy and comfortable it was and how much we had in common. We had talked for so long that I hadn’t realized how late it had been, so he had walked me to my dorm in the early morning hours, but I hadn’t let him into my room when he asked to talk some more. I wasn’t that kind of girl. I also wasn’t stupid.
“I’m sorry to disappoint. I’m not Chris and I hope to God that Chris isn’t your boyfriend. Though judging by your little rant, I doubt it, since I don’t think you’re the kind of girl who would be okay with her boyfriend hooking up with other girls. Or at least I hope so. On the bright side, however, I did bring you coffee.” He held up one of the to-go coffee cups he was holding.
I stayed frozen, too surprised and shocked to do anything but stare at him.
Jason chuckled.
“You’re not a morning person, are you?”
I shook my head slowly.
Jason chuckled again. “Then I’m glad I brought you coffee. You gonna let me in?” That took me out of my shock. I looked down at myself. I was wearing my short pajama pants—they were so short they were just long enough to cover my ass cheeks— and a tight tank top with nothing underneath. I felt my cheeks redden with embarrassment as I looked back at him.
“Uhm, I’m still in my pajamas.” Jason’s eyes looked me down, oh so slowly, before they met my eyes again. The instant heat in them made me gasp. Jason smiled a knowing smile.
“Believe me. That fact wasn’t lost on me.” I blushed. His smile turned into a grin.
I tried to shake myself out of the daze he had put me in to ask a very important question. “What are you doing here?” I asked, still a little breathless.
“I said I’d call you today, which I did, but you didn’t pick up, so I decided to come over.”
“I’m not usually up this early on the weekends.”
“Neither am I,” he said in a low voice. My eyes got wide at the meaning behind those words.
“How about this,” he said as he handed me one of the coffees. “I’ll wait outside while you get ready and then I’ll take you out for breakfast.” He changed his voice back to normal, taking pity on my sorry state. I was grateful. Still, I had my doubts as to where he was going with that invitation or what he would expect in return.
I took the coffee but kept looking at him. “Why?” We both seemed to know that my question was about more than the reason why he wanted to take me to breakfast. Jason stepped closer to me, invading my personal space. He dipped his head down so he could keep holding my eyes.
“I like you. More than I’ve ever liked a girl. You intrigue me and I’m never intrigued. I want to spend time with you, get to know you.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I told you last night, Jason, I’m not one of those girls who swoon over and fall for pretty boys and their pretty words. You won’t get into my pants.”
He gave me another grin.
“I realize that and it’s strangely refreshing. That’s one of the things I like about you: your honesty, your no-bullshit attitude. This is not some trap or play. I really want to get to know you better. Though I do hope to change your mind about the no sex thing eventually.”
I raised my eyebrows and thought about what he was saying.
“Come on, Loreley. Let me take you to breakfast. Let me prove to you that I’m serious.”
And that’s what he did.
Over the next few weeks, he proved to me that he was serious about getting to know me; then he proved to me that he was serious about a lot of other things.
We fell head over
heels in love.
Or so I thought.
Two Years Later
“Congratulations, Lore. I know this means a lot to you.” Chris said as he hugged me tightly.
“Thanks, Chris. It does. I never thought I would get in with a label that big. I didn’t think I stood a chance.”
“This just proves even more that you’re awesome. You just wait and see. They’re gonna love you so much, they’ll offer you a job before your internship is over.”
I laughed.
That was highly unlikely. Though, I loved that Chris had that much faith in me.
“I doubt that. All I’ll probably do all summer is grab coffees and hope I get the lunch orders right. But still, it’s a foot in the door that I can’t pass up.”
Chris chuckled. “Well, then you’ll be the best coffee fetcher and lunch girl in all of L.A.” He pulled back and looked at me. “When are you leaving?”
“In two days.”
Chris’ eyebrows shot up. “Two days? Poor Jason.”
I sighed. “I know. He’s not gonna be happy. Heck, I’m not happy that I won’t see him all summer, but I can’t say no to this. He’ll understand.”
Chris said nothing, just looked at me with skepticism in his eyes.
“He will, Chris. He knows I want this and he wants me to be happy. And it’s a step closer to the future we both want.”
“Yeah, it is. But I think you underestimate how much that man needs to be close to you. He can hardly go a day without seeing you. Now he’s gonna have to adjust from thinking you’d be with him during his first real tour to not only not having you with him, but you being in a city like L.A. on your own.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I’m well aware of that. So is Jason. That doesn’t change the fact that he’s not gonna like it.”
I sighed again.
Chris was somewhat right. I knew that Jason would be upset about the fact that I wouldn’t be able to go with him and his band on their first tour. It’s all we’d been talking about for the past few months. A scout had approached them after they played a gig at one of Austin’s bigger bars earlier that year and had set up a meeting with a manager, who had taken them under her wing and had organized a summer tour across half the country where The Crowes would play at bars and small festivals all summer. I was supposed to go with them and once the tour was over and was hopefully successful, we’d move to L.A. together, where I would try my luck to get a foot in with a label somewhere as an intern or personal assistant to get some experience under my belt while he kept working with his band and hopefully got some studio time.
That had been the plan. And me accepting an internship for the summer that started in less than a week meant it couldn’t happen that way.
He would be disappointed. I was disappointed that I wouldn’t see him for three whole months. But I was also excited. Excited to get this chance, to get some experience and be able to learn from some of the best people in the music business, which was a dream come true. And I was eager to get an early start on our future together.
Yes, Jason would be disappointed, but he loved me and would be happy for me, for us, once the initial blow had worn off.
I was absolutely, no doubt about it, certain of that.
A few hours later I wasn’t so certain anymore.
“You can’t go, Loreley. I don’t want you to.” Jason had not taken my news well at all. Worse than I thought, he wasn’t just disappointed. He was mad as hell. And that was starting to piss me off.
“Yes, I can, Jason. This is my career, my future we’re talking about. I have to go. It’s what I want.”
“Your future? I thought it was our future. All this time it has always been our future. Now you get one lousy offer for a shitty internship and everything else isn’t important anymore? I thought you weren’t one of those selfish bitches. Guess I was wrong.”
I flinched and gasped as hurt hit my chest at hearing his hateful words. He had never talked to me that way, had never said anything remotely negative about me or to me, had always been loving and supportive and gentle with me. Sure, we’d had fights, but they’d never turned dirty or ugly. Not like this.
I stood there, completely stunned. But he didn’t take back those hurtful words. Nor did he apologize. Not even when tears started to fill my eyes and silently run down my cheeks. He didn’t say anything. Didn’t do anything but stand there and glare at me. I turned around as if in a trance without saying another word and walked out of his apartment.
He didn’t try to stop me, nor did he come after me.
The next morning, I stood in Chris’ apartment, sipping my coffee as I stared silently out the window. I was lost in thought, still trying to wrap my mind around what had happened last night.
“He didn’t mean it, Lore.” Chris was sitting at the kitchen table behind me, drinking his own coffee. The night had been long, filled with lots of tears on my side and lots of talking on Chris’ side. Neither of us had gotten much sleep.
“So you’ve said.”
“And I’ll say it again. I’ll say it a million times if that’s what you need to hear. He didn’t mean it.”
“Then why hasn’t he called? Why hasn’t he come after me?”
That shut Chris up.
I turned around and looked at him. He was shaking his head. “I don’t know, Lore. But I’m sure there’s an explanation. Maybe he needed to cool off first or maybe he is too embarrassed. Who knows, he could be sitting in front of your dorm room door waiting for you to come home. What I do know is that he didn’t mean what he said last night. He’s scared of losing you, scared of being without you for three months. Being scared makes men do stupid shit, stupid shit we almost always regret the minute it happens.”
I wanted to believe him so desperately. It hurt thinking that the man I was in love with and had imagined and planned my future with more than once could say those hurtful words he said last night and not regret them.
“Go to him. Talk to him. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”
I nodded. He was right. I would regret if I left without at least trying to talk to him.
I went to my dorm room first to take a shower and change into fresh clothes. My whole way there, I was hoping and praying that Chris was right and I would find Jason sitting in front of my room waiting for me to come home so he could apologize.
He didn’t.
The hall was empty when I turned the corner and there was no note on my door or any sign that he had been there. But I powered through the disappointment and told myself that he was probably still sleeping. Or maybe he was just waiting for a decent time to come to me. It was early. He knew better than anyone that I hated being woken up early in the mornings. Instead of waiting, I would take Chris’ advice and go to him.
Less than thirty minutes later, I wished I hadn’t as I stared at the blonde who was standing in front of me.
The second she opened the door for me, I knew.
She was wearing nothing but a towel, her hair wet and uncombed, her skin still covered in water droplets as if she had jumped out of the shower just seconds ago.
She didn’t have to say anything for me to know that Jason didn’t need to cool off last night or had been too embarrassed to come after me or try to call me. No, none of what Chris had said was true.
Jason had been too busy screwing this blond groupie whore to do any of that.
I didn’t need her to say anything, but her words still confirmed it. “He’s still in the shower. You can come in and wait I guess.”
No, I absolutely did not want to come in and wait.
I worked hard to keep the overwhelming hurt and devastation off my face. I wouldn’t give either of them the satisfaction. But I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to keep my voice neutral. So for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, I turned around and walked away from Jason without saying another word.
“You want me to tell him you came by?”
I shook
my head but said nothing and kept walking without turning around. The door clicked shut.
Not even five minutes later, my phone started ringing. I ignored it, just like I did the next three calls and five text messages that came in. They were all from Jason.
Not a single tear left my eyes until I got to my room and buried myself under the blankets. Then the floodgates opened and I cried and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore and fell into a fitful sleep.
It was the next day before I checked my phone. I deleted all of Jason’s calls and voice mails as well as text messages without listening to them or reading them and then called Chris.
He came over and helped me pack.
The day after that I boarded a plane to L.A.
Chapter 2
LORELEY
I looked over the crowd as I finished drawing another beer and closed the tap. Rock music blared through the speakers and the noises of a bar fuller than it should be wafted over me. Saturday night at Coopers was always busy, but with summer coming, our quaint little small town in the Rocky Mountains was starting to fill up with tourists, which meant that the bar was just as crowded. Every single table was taken and the bar was full, some people double-parking at the bar, because there weren’t any stools left to sit on. Cindy and Ashley were running their butts off out there. Their tips would be great tonight, but I’d have to talk to Chris about hiring another bartender and at least two more waitresses to get us through the season.
I looked down the bar counter and saw Rick Summers sitting at the end, looking sullen, like he had done so often in the past few months. His head was bowed to the glass in front of him—whiskey neat it looked like—elbows to the bar, the fingers of his right hand holding the glass loosely, swirling the whiskey. I decided to ignore the orders being shouted at me for the moment and headed over to him.
He didn’t hear or see me approach, which was unusual for him. Rick was a cop, a detective, and would normally see everything that was going on around him. He was a laid back guy, but intense and always alert. That had changed last Thanksgiving when his already stupid sister Gina did something even more stupid and helped a guy kidnap my friend Ivey. The guy had been Ivey’s ex. He had beaten her badly when they had been together, so badly that she had ended up in the hospital for almost a week. She had pressed charges, so he had ended up in jail and was looking for revenge. Gina had helped him because she was petty and jealous. Ivey and Cal had just gotten together a few weeks earlier. Gina had always had a crush on Cal and for some fucked up reason thought she had a claim on him. So she helped Ivey’s ex teach Ivey a lesson and was now paying for her stupidity by being locked up in a penitentiary for conspiracy to commit kidnapping. I hadn’t been a big fan of her before that, nobody in town had, but now I was even less of one.
