Remembering what he’d said to her and how hot it’d made her, she stood up on her knees and put her lips to his ear. “Give it to me, Tyler,” she whispered, letting her teeth run along his earlobe.
His whole body tightened, and he growled as she felt the heat of his release splatter against her belly. Surprisingly, it didn’t disgust her, it didn’t make her feel cheap. It made her feel hot, it turned her on again.
Leaning back, she looked up into his eyes and smiled as he heaved deep breathes, trying to regulate himself back to normal.
“For someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing when it comes to sex, baby, you’ve rocked my world, and we haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet.”
A feeling of accomplishment washed over her. Maybe she wasn’t so bad at any of this. Maybe she’d just needed someone to pull it out of her.
“What do you say we go take a shower?” she asked, hopping off the bed, not even bothering to wipe herself off.
He ran a hand over his eyes. “Shower? Sounds good.” He seemed a bit out of it, and that was the best gift of all.
Chapter Fourteen
I took back a major part of myself today. The part of myself that had been missing. I let Tyler touch me in ways that I’ve never let a human being touch me before. Both physical and emotional. It feels like a part of me has healed. That gaping hole that was once in my stomach – causing all those jitters – it’s gone. I’m happy and ready. Ready to move on. Ready to find my rapist. I just need to figure out how to tell other people. What if they try to talk me out of it?
“You warm enough?”
His deep voice caused so many feelings in her now. He wasn’t just the man who protected her now. He was her lover and it felt so right. The mere fact that she was writing in her journal – in his arms – and trusting him not to be nosey, said an awful lot about how far she had come.
“Sure am,” she assured him lazily.
It had started raining, and she told him how much she loved the rain in the country and how it sounded against the tin of his roof. He’d suggested they go out back where he had a covered porch and a swing. He’d given her a pair of his sweats and a sweatshirt, and he’d grabbed a blanket for them to snuggle under. She now lay, cuddled against his lap as he used his toe to swing them back and forth.
“I can’t believe you have this back here, I never pictured you as the type.”
He shrugged and threw his arm along the back of the swing. “All my life I’ve strived for normal because I never had it growing up. I always wanted a porch swing growing up, so this was the first thing I did. I’ve never been out here with anyone else before.”
There was the opening she’d been looking for. “You mean never been out here on the swing with anybody else or had anybody else here in general.”
“Both, kind of” he clarified for her. “The guys don’t really come into my private sanctuary. Liam’s helped me with some of the remodeling, but nobody else cares to come here. You see how scared of the cup they are,” he grinned.
“I think you should be honest about the cup, at least with me,” she huffed.
He made the motion of zipping his lips and throwing away the key. “I’ll never tell.”
“Is it okay for us to be here for this long? I know you’ve been doing stuff for the club and I hate to take you away from that,” she changed the subject.
“I let Liam know I’d be off the grid for possibly a few days.”
“A few days, huh?” The smile that lit up her face caused every masculine part of his body to take notice.
“Well, you never know,” he tried to play it off. “I mean I didn’t think we’d spend two or three days here screwing like bunnies, but I thought maybe we could spend some time alone together,” he rushed to cover up.
“I’m just giving you a hard time,” she smacked him in the stomach. “I would love to spend some alone time with you.”
This was the part of their relationship that made him nervous. One look in her eyes and he wanted to spill his entire life story, but he’d never been the type to talk a lot about his past. With her though, he knew that it wasn’t fair to keep himself hidden away. For the two of them to work, there had to be honesty. He’d never had that in any kind of relationship before except in his club. It was scary.
“Do I make you nervous?” she asked after the long beat of silence had passed between them.
“You scare the fuck out of me,” he admitted on a laugh. She watched as he ran his hands through his hair.
“How?”
“You make me want to tell you everything and lay my soul bare. Especially after what you shared with me today, but I’m scared to do that. I don’t have a good track record with people at all, and I don’t want to send you running for the hills.”
His honesty touched her more than anything else could have and at the same time it broke her heart.
“You can tell me whatever you want to, Ty. It doesn’t have to be your life story and it doesn’t have to be anything you don’t want to share with me. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
He wanted to laugh at her use of those words. They were the words he was constantly using for her. Maybe they had needed each other; maybe they’d been brought together by a force greater than themselves. For the first time, he believed that it wasn’t just a coincidence that he’d been driving by on the night of her attack, maybe it’d been the plan all along. Comfortably, she settled back against his lap, enjoying their quiet time together.
Liam sighed, he really needed Tyler. This protection run had turned FUBAR from the word go. William was breathing down his neck about these damn protection runs. It didn’t help that they had been voted on by the club as the first show of solidarity towards Liam. Showing that they were perhaps ready to move in a different direction with another man at the head of the table. If this didn’t go well, Liam knew he would never hear the end of it.
“I’m gonna tell you one more time Jagger, get this shit straight,” he yelled at the new brother who couldn’t seem to find his way out of a paper bag.
He’d been given the opportunity to drive point tonight on this run and he’d gotten them lost, even with a motherfucking GPS.
“It was right before we left, I swear to you,” he argued, hitting the GPS that kept giving them different directions, no matter how many times he set the destination on it.
Losing his patience, Liam grabbed it out of the other man’s hands. “Steele, fix this fuckin’ thing and get us the fuck out of here. Denise expected me an hour ago, and I’ll be damned if I’m sleepin’ on the couch because dimwit over here can’t work a piece of technology. Not to mention I’m gonna disappoint my son because he’s playing a damn football game right now,” Liam growled. The tension between him and his father – that they had kept between the two of them for the most part – made his words much rougher than he intended.
Steele walked over and grabbed the GPS, putting the destination in again and laughing when it showed them the correct route. “What the hell were you doin’, Jagger?”
“The same fuckin’ thing you just did.”
“Curse of the skull mug strikes again,” Steele advised him. “Told you not to touch that thing.”
Blowing out a frustrated breath, Jagger screamed. “No one told me not to touch it.”
“Let’s just get the hell out of here,” Liam said, not able to help the grin that came to his face. Jagger was never going to live this down.
“You hungry?” Tyler asked.
They had been sitting outside for hours. Nighttime had already come pitch black, and with it, much cooler temperatures. November in Kentucky could be a crap shoot. Sometimes it was very cool, sometimes they suffered through an Indian summer. This year, it was already turning cool.
“Yeah, but I’m so warm and comfortable with you right here. I don’t wanna get up,” she admitted.
Just then his stomach gave a loud growl. They both laughed and she sat up, bringing the blanket with h
er.
“I guess we better feed you.”
The two of them walked into the house, holding hands. He directed them into the kitchen and walked over to the refrigerator. “I don’t even know what I have here. Hopefully something halfway decent.”
She reached up into the cabinets, trying to find staples. Finally opening a door with food behind it, she spotted some cans of soup. “Do you have cheese and bread? We can have soup and grilled cheese.”
That was agreeable to both of them, and they worked alongside each other in a comfortable silence. When it was done, they had a seat at the kitchen table and began eating.
He moaned as he took a bite of the grilled cheese. “This is so good,” he praised her.
“Thanks, just like my mom used to make. I loved when I was little and it was almost winter and we’d have grilled cheese and chicken noodle or tomato soup. Those are some of my best memories.” That was the only time she ever really felt like she and her mother had something in common with one another. They would sit for hours over their soup, talking until her dad got home, and then the conversation would turn to what he expected her to do when she grew up.
Immediately she felt bad, he didn’t have those memories and she could see it in his eyes. Even if hers weren’t great, she still had them. He took another large bite and swallowed loudly. “Would it freak you out if I told you I want to make those memories with you?”
She set down her food and grasped his hand. “Not at all. I wanna make those memories with you too.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Did I miss anything important?”
Liam looked up from where he sat on the garage floor, putting together some parts for a bike he was working on. “I’m so glad you’re back, man. Oh my God, it’s been crazy since you left.”
“I was only gone for a little bit,” Tyler laughed, pulling over a chair so that he could have a seat.
“The curse of your damn cup is alive and well. Jagger got us lost, the GPS wouldn’t work for him, he’s still nursing himself from that fall, and to top it all off he broke the starter on his bike,” he held up the parts in his hands.
“How did he do that?”
“Like I need to tell you. Everyone firmly believes it’s your curse.”
Tyler laughed so hard tears streamed down his face. “This is getting way out of hand. I never thought that cup would cause all this grief. This is great.”
“Is it cursed or not?” Liam asked, leveling a glare at the other man.
“Don’t try to scare me with that look. You know I don’t scare easily. It is whatever you think it is,” he said cryptically.
“You’re getting on my nerves about this fuckin’ curse,” Liam mumbled. “Fuck,” he screamed as his wrench flew off the part he was trying to fix.
Tyler laughed again. “You should watch that blood pressure, old man. It can sometimes get to ya.”
“You’re not gonna tell me the truth,” he yelled at Tyler’s retreating form.
“You already know the truth.”
“Cryptic bullshit is gonna be the death of me,” Liam mumbled as he took a deep breath and went back to work.
“Denise, you here?” Meredith yelled as she lightly knocked on the front door.
“Upstairs, come on up.”
That was unusual, Denise upstairs towards the bedroom this late in the day. Meredith checked her watch to make sure she was right on the time of day. Sure enough, it was a quarter after one.
“You okay?” she asked as she came into the bedroom.
Denise was on the ground in front of the toilet, lying on the cool tile floor. “Something I ate totally did not agree with me. I’ve been sick since this morning,” she moaned.
“What did you eat?” Meredith asked, having a seat on the floor and leaning against the front of the tub.
“We had a cookout at the clubhouse. I really think it could have been the shrimp. As long as I stay horizontal on the cool tile, I’m fine. Enough about me, how were the past couple of days for you?”
The blush that covered her face couldn’t be helped. “It was good,” she admitted.
“Oh c’mon. I’m lying on the bathroom floor after puking my guts out. Give me just a little bit more than that. Tyler Blackfoot is a hot piece of man meat and you’re telling me it was good.”
“It was better than good, it was amazing. I can’t even describe how great it was.”
“Are you feeling better about yourself?” Denise asked carefully. She’d known without Meredith having to mention a lot to her that she was feeling pretty low.
“You know, I am. I feel like I’ve reclaimed a part of myself. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we didn’t have sex, but we made such a step forward in our relationship. We talked, we ate, we just hung out. It was, hands down, the nicest time I’ve ever spent with a man.”
Denise nodded in agreement. “You know until I met Liam, I never really knew what a nice time with a man was either. Funny how everyone wants to label these guys as outlaws, but they’re nothing but perfect gentlemen to us.”
“Funny how that works out, huh?” Meredith laughed.
“It’s good to see you laugh.” Denise smiled. “I know we weren’t exactly close when all of this went down. Actually, I think I kinda hated you for coming into my house and trying to tell me how to run my business.”
“I really shouldn’t have done that,” Meredith cringed, covering her face with her hands.
“No, I think your heart was in the right place, even if you were a bit of a bitch about it.”
“You are such a nice person. My heart was all about getting up in your business and getting an anchor spot on the news,” she shook her head. “I was so naïve and selfish, and all I could think about was myself. When I wonder why all this stuff has happened to me, I just think about how selfish I was.”
“Don’t even think that. Yes, you were kind of annoying, but you were trying to better yourself. No one deserves what you went through, Meredith. Nobody.”
“Is it bad for me to say, I’m kinda glad it happened the way it did? I mean there’s no way I would ever want to be raped, but I’m glad it brought me to the place I’m at now. I’ve never had a friend like you before, never had someone to hang out with or anything. I was always too busy working and trying to make something of myself to get involved with anybody else in any kind of way. I’m glad it opened up my eyes.”
The past few days have been some of the most amazing of my life. I feel like I’m finally healing, like maybe that’s what Doc Jones wanted me to do all along. I feel like I can finally breathe and I’m not going to break down at every curveball that’s thrown at me. For the first time I feel strong.
Meredith sat her journal down with a sense of accomplishment. The words she’d just written she truly believed. No matter what life threw at her, she would be able to handle it. In the back of her mind, she realized another truth. She was ready to find her rapist. She wasn’t sure how, but she would find him.
Tyler came through the door scowling, only to grin as he caught sight of her. “Hey.”
She flirted back, “Hey, I have a favor to ask you.”
He had a seat beside her and turned so that he faced her, showing that she had his full attention.
“I want to find my rapist.”
The words hit him like a ton of bricks. That was his dream too. He had mentioned it a few times to her, but she had blown him off. Now, it looked as if their minds were as connected as their bodies were. “I want to find him too. I’ve already been looking, to be perfectly honest with you, but there’s not a whole lot to go on.”
“I have contacts in the community from my days at the news station. There has to be someone who can help. Those days after are such a blur to me, I still don’t quite understand what all happened. I had a lot of people telling me things about the clubs around here. Someone knows who this guy is. Someone paid him to do it, and they did it to send me a message. I want to know why. What was I on to or what did I
uncover?”
This made him uneasy. What if she got close to it again? What would they do to her this time? Now the stakes were so much higher. “I don’t know if I like this,” he admitted.
“What do you think I was on to?”
“I have no idea, we weren’t exactly talkin’ buddies back then if you remember,” he grinned.
“I wanted to be. I thought you were so hot.”
It was unlike her to gush, but he liked it. Her giddiness was cute. “I thought you were pretty hot yourself. Why don’t you get all your stuff out of storage and we can comb through it. Maybe fresh eyes and your time away from it will give us an idea.”
He had a good point and she was agreeable to it. “Will you take me over there tomorrow to get the stuff? I don’t wanna go by myself.”
“I don’t want you going over there by yourself either. I have a run tomorrow, so I’ll let you know when I’m available.”
“Oh, so I need to pencil myself in?” she played along with him.
“You know me, I’m busy, but I’ll do my best to make time for you.”
This playful side of him was new and she loved it. There were numerous facets to this man who she previously had thought of as being only one dimensional. It showed her again just how much she’d had her eyes closed to the world around her before. Her eyes were definitely open now, and she was going to make sure she never missed anything again.
Chapter Sixteen
“Where is the semi?”
Liam had the exact same question. They had been sitting in the parking lot of a local clothing manufacturer for over an hour. Word had it that the manufacturer was in deep with the Mexican Cartel and within some of the shipments of clothing lay weapons that were needed to win the drug war. Since Heaven Hill had signed on to help, they were expected to make sure the semis got to the state line where another MC picked up the run.
“This guy was supposed to come here, drop off his trailer, pick up another, and be gone, right?” Liam verified with Jagger. “You didn’t fuck this one up, right?”
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