He laughed. Straight up belly laughed. “That’s what you’re worried about? Haven’t you been in my arms the last couple of nights? Haven’t you thought about having sex with me? Weren’t there a few times that we had to stop each other? You will overcome this fear. You’re too passionate not to. I’m not pressuring you am I?” He was horrified at the thought. That was the last thing he wanted to do.
“No, not at all. You’ve been more than patient with me. But what if I can’t ever get past it? I want kids, you may want kids.”
His heart swelled. She was talking about a future involving the both of them, not two separate beings. “We could always adopt. You forget I’m an orphan.”
She slapped her hand over her mouth. She had forgotten. This man who offered her so much love and affection had started out in life with none given to him. “I’m so sorry Tyler.”
“Don’t be. I didn’t tell you that to make you feel sorry for me. I’m just giving you other options. Can I share something with you?”
Meredith wanted to know everything that this man wanted to tell her. There was not one part of him that she didn’t want to know. “Please, share everything with me.”
“For the first two months of my life, I didn’t have a name. My name was John Doe. My first birth certificate actually says John Doe. It wasn’t until an older Native American couple took me in as foster parents that I got a name. They gave me their family last name. I have no idea who either of my real parents are. But I came into this world as a John Doe.”
That hurt her so much. How could someone do that to a child? How could someone nurture that child in their belly for nine months and then leave him alone to face the world? “How come you didn’t stay with them?”
“They couldn’t afford me. They already had the maximum amount of children they could afford. From what I hear, they tried hard and I was with them for a long time. My first memories of childhood are with that couple. That house I took you to? It was theirs. I bought it when they died a few years ago. That’s why I love it so much.”
She grappled with all the information he had given her. The strong man who hardly ever revealed anything about himself had dropped two bombs on her in a short amount of time. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”
“I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to. What I’m trying to say about all this though is that there are options. I’m not leaving you no matter what you can or can’t do. So if you can never get there, I’ll be fine. I’m committed to you and I think you’re committed to me.”
“I am.”
“Have you talked to Doc Jones about this?”
“I have. That’s where she came up with the idea of masturbation to try and get me there. I don’t know why I’m freaking out about this so much. Life is going to move on whether I’m ready or not.”
He caressed her neck and placed a soft kiss on her temple. “That’s right, it is going to and none of us know where it’s going, Meredith. The only thing we can do is hang on and make the best decisions for us. What say we just live and see where it takes us? We have no plans. We’re just two people trying to make the best of situations that were given to us. As long as we live, nothing else can be asked of us.”
She took a moment to think about what he had just said. He was right. She was getting all worked up again over things that were so far out of her control they might as well be in another universe. Calmed down, she took a deep breath. “You’re right, as always.”
“What was that? I think I heard you say I was right?”
She giggled and pushed his shoulder. “You know that you’re wise, I don’t need to stroke your ego anymore.”
Wanting to put a little bit of playfulness into what had become a very serious discussion, he winked. “I got something else you can stroke.”
She pushed herself off his knee. “Tyler Blackfoot! You behave.”
“You’re the one who asked if we could continue our little interlude later, but that’s okay, I can take a rain check if you can.”
She flounced out of the room, slinging her hair back as she got to the door. Turning, she stared at him over her shoulder and gave him a look before crooking her finger at him. “I don’t think I can.”
For a six foot three inch man, he was extremely agile and had made his way to her in just a few steps. Picking her up, he threw her over his shoulder and made his way to his dorm room.
“I knew you couldn’t resist me,” he teased her as he shut the door. “I’m just way too sexy.”
Chapter Nineteen
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Denise welcomed Meredith into the hospital room she still occupied.
Meredith waved, trying to be quiet as she saw Liam curled up in the corner on a pulled out cot. “Should I come back later?” she whispered, pointing at Liam.
“Nah, I’m up,” he sat up, yawning as he ran his hands over his eyes. “Did Tyler bring you?”
“Yeah, he’s downstairs grabbing some coffee. He told me to let you know if you were awake, you could come join. I think he was gonna go get some breakfast at Donna’s.”
“Oh, I am all over that. This hospital food sucks donkey balls. You don’t mind do you?” he asked her as he sat up, straightening his clothes out.
“Sure don’t.”
“You’ll be good?” Liam asked, turning to face Denise.
“I’ll be fine. I told you that you could go home last night. Remember?”
Meredith watched as they argued good-naturedly.
“I am not leaving you up here in this place by yourself. Don’t even ask me to do that again. I thought we settled that.”
“We did,” she grumbled.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I have my cell if you need me.”
Denise did her best not to roll her eyes. “Meredith is here. I am going to be fine. Now go!”
The two women watched as he exited the room. When the door shut, Denise growled. “He is driving me absolutely insane.”
Meredith couldn’t help but laugh. “He loves you, he’s just worried.”
“I know, I know. My hormones are just out of control.”
They lapsed into a comfortable silence. “So how far along are you?” Meredith asked quietly.
“Five weeks. Are you mad? Because that’s the last thing I want.” Denise scrunched up her nose and twisted her fingers together.
“Not at all. Please don’t ever think I was mad at you. It was myself I was mad at, and after talking to Tyler, I realize how stupid I was being. I am so happy for you and Liam.”
“You don’t know how happy I am to hear that. You’ve become my best friend, and I didn’t want to hurt you in any way. That day we talked about this, I never realized how hurt your feelings would be, and I realized how insensitive I was being.”
Meredith stopped her as she held a hand up. “No, I was being insensitive. Just because something awful happened to me doesn’t give me the right to be a bitch to all others around me. I was being selfish and I’m sorry. I am genuinely so happy for you two. What’s going on with you being in here though? Is everything okay?”
A huge weight felt like it had been lifted off of the friends, they were no longer tiptoeing around one another. Meredith scooted her chair all the way up to the bed so that they could converse without having so much distance.
“I had horrible morning sickness with the twins, but I figured it was just because there were two of them. Apparently, I’m one of the lucky women who just has a hard time with morning sickness. They did an ultrasound yesterday, and there is only one baby and I think I’m sicker now than I ever was with twins.”
Meredith grimaced. “I’m so sorry. Can they do anything for you?”
“They have me on some anti-nausea medication and they are pumping fluids into me because I was dehydrated. There’s a pill I can take that might help, but it’s not always the case with every pregnant woman. We’ll just have to see I guess. They were just worried about me being so dehydrated. Thank y
ou for making me come to the hospital when you did by the way.”
“That’s what friends are for. I knew you looked bad and I knew you would never tell someone that you needed to. I just made an executive decision.”
They gossiped for a little while before Denise asked about her getting her stuff out of storage. “How did that go?”
“Alright I guess. I haven’t had a chance to go through it all. I was going to last night, but I got busy,” she muttered, her cheeks flushing a bright red.
“Got busy doing what? Or should I say who?”
“It wasn’t exactly like that, but I can say we’re moving closer to a normal relationship.”
Denise smiled brightly. “Do you know how thrilled I am to hear that? I think most women that even see Tyler Blackfoot fall just a little bit in love with him. You are one lucky woman.”
Meredith giggled. “We both are really. Our men are hot.”
“That they are,” Denise agreed, laughing along as the door opened and the two men appeared.
“It’s never good when we walk in and they’re both giggling.” Liam said, walking over to the cot and having a seat. He patted his belly and sighed deeply.
“Did you eat?” Denise asked, completely ignoring his statement.
“I did and it was glorious. Bacon, eggs, sausage, and home fries. Damn, that woman can cook.”
“My mouth just watered, but I know if I could smell it, I would be back in the bathroom upchucking,” Denise groused.
“Congrats by the way,” Tyler said from the doorway.
“Thank you,” she beamed. “I think we’re pretty excited.”
Liam nodded his head in agreement as he lay back down on the cot.
“How much longer are you in here for?” Meredith asked as she stood and went to stand by Tyler.
It was so natural for her to step in front of him and have his arms come around her waist. He bent so that his head rested on her shoulder, his hair tangling with hers.
Denise couldn’t help but notice the change in Meredith as she leaned back into Tyler’s arms. It brought a smile to her face. “A couple days probably. They want to try to get the morning sickness under control. I need to be able to eat.”’
Meredith nodded. “Well, we’re gonna go, but I’ll be back. Is there anything you need? Do you want me to bring the kids next time I come?”
Tyler had things to do over the next couple of days, so that would mean a trip by herself. This was a huge step, that she was even considering it. The anxiety it caused was minimal, and she breathed deeply.
“If you feel like it, I’d love to see them. I do need some more clothes if you wouldn’t mind.”
“I don’t. I’ll be back either later tonight or early tomorrow. Take it easy,” she told her friend as she leaned down on the bed and gave her a hug.
“I am so happy for you, don’t doubt that,” she whispered before leaning back up.
“You don’t know how much that means to me.”
Chapter Twenty
“Jagger, do you think you could come help me?” Meredith yelled from the room that housed her storage materials. Tyler had set a box just a fingertip too high for her to get, and he’d left to go do a run for the club.
She had been going through everything with a fine tooth comb, only stopping to take clothes and the kids to Denise. When the trip had gone off with only a few minor speed bumps, it had reiterated to her that this was the right thing to do. She still had yet to find anything that pointed to her attacker.
“Yeah,” Jagger said coming into the room. “What can I do for ya?”
“I need that box up there, Tyler put it a little too high for me to get to it,” she pointed to the box in question. “Be careful,” she cautioned.
“The curse is over,” he pointed out as he grabbed it over his head.
In the blink of an eye, he lost his grip and it fell, busting open. “Fuck,” he mumbled.
“Curse is over, huh?” she couldn’t help the grin that broke across her face.
“I thought so anyway,” he grumbled, bending over to help her pick the stuff up. “Looks like you got some mail here you never opened.”
He held a manila envelope out to her and she took it, noting the weight of it. It was very heavy. “Thanks, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before.”
Jagger shrugged, leaving her alone with it. It had her old address on it, along with the correct postage it would need to be sent to her. It was postmarked from Bowling Green on the day that she had been attacked. For some reason her hands shook as she ripped open the top of the envelope. It seemed like whatever this held was important. Like it held the answers to the questions that she had. Turning it over, she poured out the contents and gasped.
Pictures. Hundreds of pictures, all containing females connected to the club. There were numerous pictures of her, Denise, Roni, Mandy, and even Lauren. They all seemed to be taken at different places, like they had been followed. Other pictures contained male members of the club. Quickly she grabbed the envelope again, but it contained no return address. A feeling washed over her, this couldn’t have been the only thing that had come for her. Running out of the room, she caught Jagger behind the bar, singing along to a song on the radio. Any other day she would have complemented him on his voice – today though she had other things to speak to him about.
“Has any of my mail been forwarded here?” Her mail had been the last thing on her mind for months. Since she’d broken her lease, she really had no bills save her car and car insurance. She’d never been one to have credit cards, and her school had been taken care of. There really wasn’t any reason that she’d need any of her mail. Now though, she had a feeling she’d missed something very important.
“I’m not sure, you want me to look?” he asked, going into the room where most of the paperwork was kept.
“Yes. I need to know if there are any more envelopes.” The panicked feeling overtook her, made her stomach cramp.
He looked through some stuff and didn’t see anything, but then an idea struck him. “Maybe it’s at the shop,” meaning Walker’s Wheels where many of the club members worked during the day.
“Can you call and ask?”
Jagger made a quick phone call and then nodded at her. “Yeah, according to the bookkeeper, Janice, you have four more envelopes there. No one wanted to bother you with it, so she’s just been keeping them there for you.”
Her stomach churned. She needed to know what was in those envelopes, but she was scared to find out at the same time. “I need those envelopes. When should Tyler be back?”
Jagger checked his watch. “Not for a couple more hours at least. They were going almost to Louisville and back.”
“Then you have to take me.”
“I can’t take you on the back of my bike, it would be disrespectful,” he stammered, not wanting to do anything else to piss off the big man that had claimed her for his.
“Not if I’m asking you to,” she argued.
“Even more so because you’re asking me to. Tyler will not be happy.”
“He’s not here and he won’t know,” she pleaded.
“Oh he’ll know,” he mumbled, scrubbing a hand over his face.
“Look,” she ran her hands through her hair in distress. “I wouldn’t ask you unless it was very important. I would take my own car, but it’s in storage and I haven’t driven it in months. I would take Tyler’s truck, but he’s never shown me anything besides a damn bike. I am asking for your help and I’m telling you if you don’t take me…I’m taking somebody’s bike on my own.”
Jagger gasped. “You wouldn’t. You’ll kill yourself. You have no damn idea how to drive a bike.”
She reached around him, grabbing the keys he kept hanging on his pocket. “You take me or I take myself.”
“You are just bound and determined to get my ass handed to me by Tyler, aren’t you? Fine,” he sighed. “Let’s go.”
Riding on the back of someone else’s motor
cycle was an eye-opening experience for Meredith. She didn’t feel nearly as safe with Jagger, and it was weird being that close to someone besides Tyler. It felt awkward when she held on tighter to go through a curve. As they pulled up to Walker’s Wheels, she saw William talking on his cell phone. Without a doubt, she knew he was probably reporting to Tyler what he was seeing. Jagger cut off the motor and waited for her to get off before he did the same.
“You’re treading on some thin ice,” William told Jagger as he walked up to the two of them.
“You ain’t tellin’ me nothing I don’t already know. My neck is already twitchy.”
“Should be your scalp,” one of the guys called out, laughing along with the rest of them.
Meredith rolled her eyes. She didn’t like jokes about Tyler’s ethnicity, and at this point in time she really had no patience. “While you all sit out here and joke about whose dick’s bigger, I really need to see my mail.”
“C’mon in, honey,” a female voice called out from behind her.
She turned around and noticed an older woman stood in the doorway to the office. “I’m Janice. I do the books here and I’ve been holding that mail for you. Tyler thought you might want it sooner or later. I told him he should just open for you, but he didn’t want to invade your privacy.”
There it was again, him always knowing and doing what was best for her. She wanted him here with her so badly. Whatever this was, she had a feeling it wasn’t going to be good. Janice handed her the manila envelopes, and she counted them, four in total, weighing them each with her hands.
Jagger came in the office. “Why don’t you wait for Tyler to get here before you open those? He just called and said he’s fifteen minutes away and I should wait here to have my ass handed to me.”
Meredith winced. “Sorry,” she told him. “I’ll talk to him and explain.”
“Don’t you dare say a word. That’s embarrassing. I knew I shouldn’t have done it and I did it anyway because I can’t seem to say no to you. You remind me too much of my sister.”
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