“It’s hard to explain to people who aren’t in the business, but I had some racy roles when I was younger. My management, which was really my parents, said that in order not to have backlash, I should just tell people I was older. Finally it got to where I just did it without thinking.”
Bianca’s eyebrows screwed together. Her parents had told her to lie about her age? “How old were you when you did those racy roles?”
“Younger than an adult, but I was passing and that’s all that mattered. That’s all anyone cared about.”
“But what about you? Did you feel weird doing it?”
Jessica shrugged. “It’s the only job I’ve ever known.”
“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you felt weird doing it, because let me tell ya, when I was working at Wet Wanda’s I sure as hell felt weird about it. Didn’t matter that it was the job that would move me onto what I wanted to be. I still felt bad objectifying myself. I told people that I was okay with it, but I really wasn’t.”
Should she tell Bianca that she had felt weird about it? That she hadn’t really liked paying her parents mortgage when they didn’t do anything for it? All they did was doctor the birth certificate they gave to her agent and then signed off as her guardians, which gave them access to her money until in closed court she had become emancipated. Even that didn’t stop her dad from still having a hand in her life; he still held some control until she turned twenty-five. For that reason, they hadn’t spoken in years. At that point, the lie was already there, and she didn’t want to explain to the world as a whole that at fifteen she’d performed sex scenes on the big screen. It was just easier to go along with the lie, and it was all she’d ever known. Somehow out of all of that she had become America’s Sweetheart as she had gotten older and none of those same people even remember the sex scenes. That’s why the pictures releasing were such a big deal. Her dad was going to be pissed when he received the letters that told him his royalty payments would stop because she’s violated her morality clause. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, she had worked so hard to make a name for herself until it hadn’t been what she wanted anymore.
“No, I wasn’t,” she whispered. “I felt like I had to do it because I had people counting on me. It wasn’t until I met Layne that anyone ever even knew my real age. I told him without thinking about it. He confided in me how scared he was to go to war, so I felt like I should confide in him about something.”
“Layne scared?” Bianca grinned. “I can’t even imagine that.”
“He was,” Jessica nodded. “He was really scared. After we went to the ball and he got his assignment, he would sometimes call me drunk and tell me all his fears. I honestly don’t know how he stepped foot on that plane when they shipped out. I think I would have collapsed or run away. He actually thought about running away, but he didn’t want to go AWOL.”
This was surprising to Bianca—Layne hardly ever talked about his time in the service with anyone, much less in this kind of detail. “Wow.”
“I feel like I’ve said too much,” Jessica put her hand over her mouth. “I figured if he shared this with me, he’d shared it with everybody.”
“No,” Bianca shook her head. “He seems downright chatty with you, but with the rest of us, he’s a pretty closed book. In fact, he’s talked to me once about being in Iraq, and that just happened to be one night when he got drunk at Wet Wanda’s. The next day he acted like nothing happened.”
“Then I hope you keep this between us,” Jessica said softly. “I didn’t realize he was a closed book about it because he does talk to me.”
“Lord knows I’ve had my share of secrets. I’m no one to judge another.”
“B, we got your order ready,” Luce called from the counter.
When the other woman got up, Jessica took a deep breath, running her palms over her thighs. Sharing Layne’s secrets had been a bad idea, and she wasn’t sure how pissed Layne was going to be if he found out she’d opened her mouth. But she couldn’t help but remember how scared he was.
“Are you scared?”
That was a loaded question if Layne had ever heard one. He focused on the deep breathing of the woman lying in his arms. He focused on how he felt when the two of them were together. “Terrified,” he admitted.
“Is there any way you can get out of it?”
His laugh was hollow. “Go AWOL?”
“That would get you into trouble, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah,” he breathed deeply. “And it would disappoint every person in my unit. I couldn’t do that to them. I couldn’t live with myself knowing they had the balls to go over there and fight for our country when I couldn’t. I knew what I was doing when I signed that government contract. Shit’s just getting real now and I’m nervous.”
She rolled so that she could look him in the eyes, and this time she didn’t keep her emotions hidden from him. Jessica did that so much that it was second nature, but with him, she wanted to be honest, she wanted him to know just how much she cared for him. “I’m nervous too, Layne. I’m scared you aren’t going to come back.”
He was too, but it would do no good to tell her that. “Hey, I’ll be back before you know it, and then we can work on making this a permanent thing.”
Permanent for her would mean leaving Hollywood. She wanted nothing more than to be with him, and she knew that she couldn’t do that unless she left behind the world that held her in such captivity. “I’d love that,” she whispered. Taking a deep breath, she knew she had to take the plunge. “I love you, Layne. When you feel like you aren’t going to make it home, remember that. I love you.”
Nobody had told him they loved him since his grandmother had before she passed away, and that hit him square in the chest. Using his hands, he pulled her body on top of him. “I’m going to hold you to that, Jess. I’m going to use those words to help me come home. I know I have you here, and I know you aren’t going to give up on me.”
“I’m not,” she said softly, tears escaping from the corners of her eyes.
He pushed them away before he rested his forehead on hers. “I love you too, Jess, crazy as it sounds, I love you too.”
“We’re almost there. You guys ordered half the damn store,” Bianca laughed into her phone before hanging up. “According to Jagger, the guys are about to wither away into nothing.”
Jessica smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes like it had earlier. She was worried that she’d broken Layne’s confidence.
“Look, I can tell you’re upset that you told me those things. You have my word, I won’t tell anyone.”
She appreciated that, but she’d heard it so many times from people in Hollywood and then had her secrets betrayed. “I wish I could believe you.”
“I know you’re from a different place than this. I understand your wariness and your frustration, but don’t just assume I’m going to break my word. At least give me a chance. Bowling Green, Kentucky is a long way from Hollywood, California. Around these parts, with what these guys do, we kinda have to keep some secrets.”
That was understandable. She was sure that what these men usually did wasn’t exactly legal. “Okay, I’ll give you a shot.”
“That’s all I’m asking for,” Bianca nodded before whistling through her teeth. “Damn, it’s busy today.”
Up ahead, Jessica saw a garage and what looked like a couple dozen cars and bikes sitting around the property. “They work on all these?”
“Usually. It’s legitimate income, and they all need that for tax purposes. I haven’t ever seen it this busy though.”
They parked over to the side of the garage, and as the guys saw them getting out of the car, they jogged over. “B and Jessica are here with the food,” Jagger yelled, causing an almost stampede.
Immediately, the two women began doling out the food and drinks. Thank God Luce had the foresight to put a name on everything. Jessica handed it out, laughing when people she hadn’t even met yet thanked her and called her ma’am
. Finally there were only two containers left. The one with her name on it and the other with Layne’s on it. Glancing to her left, she saw that he stood next to her.
“Here you go.” She handed him the container with his name on it and a drink.
“Thanks.” He took the box and directed her to a picnic table. No one else sat there, so they had it completely to themselves.
They ate in silence, and it was almost uncomfortable for her. She was constantly used to hustle and bustle. Someone always needed her. It didn’t matter if it was for a photo shoot, a phone-in interview, or just to sign off on something that someone else wanted her to do. It felt like in Hollywood, she was always needed. This quiet, this relaxation, was difficult for her to be at ease with.
“I owe you an apology,” Layne mumbled as he swallowed the food he’d taken a bite of.
That took her breath and surprised her. “What did you do?”
“I shouldn’t have been so short with you earlier. You’re right; you’ve never been a part of my day-to-day life. You’ve only seen what I have allowed you to see. I was rude and I didn’t mean to be.”
The turkey sandwich she ate lodged in her throat as he got quiet. She swallowed roughly around it and took a sip out of the cup in front of her. “You don’t have to apologize to me, Layne. I showed up out of the blue, and you took me in when you didn’t have to. I don’t have a right to ask about your life here.”
“Don’t.” His brown eyes were hard as they met hers.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t be like that. If I didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here. However, what you don’t seem to understand is that I’m just not sure how to deal with you. It’s been a long time since I’ve been around anyone besides the club. It’s just not somethin’ I’m used to anymore. You gotta be patient with me, Jess, and I’ll be patient with you.”
She sighed. That wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear. In her other life, the person sitting across from her would have just told her what would make her happy. Immediately she realized what a brat that made her sound like. “Okay, Layne. We’ll be patient with one another, but there is something you should know.”
“Something else? Honey, ain’t you given me enough surprises the past couple of days?”
When his country accent came out, it secretly gave her a thrill. He was usually able to hold so tightly to it, but she could see him on a tractor with a piece of straw sticking out of his mouth. He would be wearing a pair of cowboy boots, scuffed of course, a plaid, pearl-snapped shirt, and a pair of well-worn jeans with a hole in the ass where his wallet went. No matter what, she was pretty sure that Layne wasn’t a cowboy-hat-wearing type of man, so she figured a baseball cap would be sitting on his head to shield his eyes from the sun. She wished she’d known him like that.
“My nude pictures broke today. I just wanted to let you know in case weird people start showing up or placing calls and then hanging up. While I think I’ve been careful about coming here, you never know about the paparazzi.”
A smile spread across his face as he pulled an object from behind his back.
Her mouth went dry when he sat a gun on the table between them. She didn’t know anything about guns and couldn’t tell what kind it was, but it looked pretty formidable.
“They come into my sanctuary, which is this town of Bowling Green…I’m here to promise you, they won’t be leaving the way they came, if you know what I mean.”
That low threat was exactly why she’d sought him out, but it was also the one thing that scared her to death.
Chapter Eight
“Do you need me to take your spot on the run tonight?”
Layne looked up from where he sat hunched over the hood of the car he was working on. Black Cherry in color, it belonged to a local friend of the club, Cash Montgomery. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Do you need me to take your spot on the run tonight?” Jagger asked again, wiping off his hands with one of the rags they kept lying around the shop.
“Why would I need you to do that?”
Jagger felt like he was talking to an elementary school kid. “You’ve got a woman here with you. I figured you might want to hang out with her? After all, she did come here from California.” The ‘duh’ hung in the air, unsaid.
Sighing, Layne shook his head. “No, I had that commitment before she came. I’ll see it through.”
“The guys will understand if you need the night off. It’s not like any of us haven’t done it before, my friend.”
This was so odd for Layne. He had never had to clear his schedule with someone else since he had been welcomed into the club. He wasn’t used to it and wasn’t at all sure he liked it. “Can she hang with you and B?”
“It’s cool with me, man, but you might wanna check with her. She and B seemed to be hitting it off pretty well earlier. I daresay B was possibly corrupting her a little bit.”
A small smile tilted up the side of Layne’s mouth. “Maybe B will take her to Wet Wanda’s.”
The two shared a chuckle. “Seriously though, it’s cool with me if you want me to keep an eye on her, but you do need to make sure it’s okay with her. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since becoming part of a couple—women don’t like you to make decisions for them.”
“I’m not part of a couple,” Layne argued.
“Maybe not, but for the sake of argument, just listen to me.”
Layne again sighed before he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Jessica’s number.
“What are you going to do tonight while Layne’s on his run?” Bianca asked the other woman as they made their way back to the clubhouse.
This time, Jessica was prepared for the crazy way Bianca drove, and she was enjoying herself. “Run?”
“Yeah,” she answered, checking to the left and right as they came to a stop sign. “It’s how they make most of their money.”
“You mean illegal money?”
“First rule around here, Jess. We don’t ask questions. The only reason I know about any of this stuff is because the guys did a lot of talking where I used to work at Wet Wanda’s. Let’s just say what they help transport could hurt others. Either way, don’t ask about it. I just assumed Layne had told you that he wouldn’t be around tonight. He’s scheduled to go to Louisville.”
Well, that was perfect wasn’t it? She’d invited herself into his dorm room and into his life. Not once had she thought about what he may have going on. “I never really thought about it to be honest with you. He didn’t even tell me he was going on this run.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised.” Bianca glanced over. “Layne’s pretty quiet, and he’s not used to having to check in with anybody.”
“He doesn’t have to check in with me,” she argued. “It’s never been like that with the two of us.”
“C’mon, you came to Bowling Green because you wanted to be near him. Because you felt safe with him. It’s never been that way with him? Not even a little bit?”
Jessica was saved from answering the question when her phone rang, the call coming from Layne. She held up a finger and answered.
“Hey, what did you need?”
His voice was hurried on the other end, like he wanted to get her off the phone quickly. “I have to go on a run tonight. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier, but I don’t feel right getting someone else to take my place. Would you mind hanging out with Jagger and B tonight?”
Her stomach gave a roll, and she wasn’t sure why. He couldn’t put his life on hold just because she showed up here out of the blue, but a part of her had wanted him to. “If it’s okay with them, then it’s okay with me.”
“Jagger’s good with it, so I’m sure Bianca will be too. I’ll come get you tonight when I’m done.” He hung up before she could say anything else.
She glanced at the phone before sitting it down in her lap. “Guess I’m hanging out with you tonight—if that’s okay. I hope you and Jagger didn’t have plans.”
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Bianca laughed. “No plans, unless you wanted to go to a strip club?” The grin on her face was mischievous, and Jessica couldn’t help but wonder about this place she’d heard about.
“How seedy is it?”
“It’s seedy, I’m not gonna lie to you. It was like home to me for a long time though. There’s good people there, but it’s not for everybody.”
Something about Layne pawning her off on other people had Jessica wanting to live a little. Here in this place where no one knew her name and didn’t readily know that she was a Hollywood starlet, she realized she could let her hair down. Maybe have that group of core friends that she’d missed as she’d become more and more famous. “I wanna go,” she said on impulse.
“Awesome, I’ll see if Roni and Meredith wanna come with us. I don’t think Denise would be up to it since she just gave birth, but we’ll see.”
Glancing out the car window, Jessica watched the scenery whiz by. Just because she’d put herself in a bad situation didn’t mean she had to stay in it.
“I can’t believe she’s coming with us.” Bianca grinned at Jagger as she stepped into the living room of their apartment.
“Why wouldn’t she?” he asked, not looking up from the game he played on his phone. “It’s either she hang out with us or she sits in Layne’s dorm room alone. He’s kind of a dumbass if you ask me.”
“She doesn’t really know us,” Bianca argued.
“Doesn’t matter. If I was her, I’d rather go to a strip club too,” he mumbled, moving his phone to the left and right before he groaned. “Fuck!”
“Would you stop playing that game?”
For the first time, he glanced up, noticing the clothes that covered her body. “Nice damn dress.” His eyes looked her up and down once before he went over and kissed her lips softly. “Am I gonna have to fight a bunch of men off tonight?”
She rolled her eyes. “With Jessica here? I’m sure they won’t even give the rest of us a second glance.”
“You might not be a movie star, but you’re hot, babe,” he told her as he grabbed his keys and helped her out of the apartment and down the stairs.
Heaven Hill Series - Complete Series Page 64
