“Now, I’m not sure that I ever had a personality.”
“You did,” he said as he pulled his hand back over to his own side of the table and read the menu. “You kept it hidden well, because every time you’d let a little of it through, William would knock it back down, but you had one. I’ve missed it.”
The words were said softly, and she wasn’t sure that she’d heard him correctly, but she wanted to respond. The old Roni would have responded, and she was trying desperately to get that Roni back. “I missed you too.”
His eyes were impossibly clear as his gaze met hers and she watched as he swallowed roughly. “Can we get it back?” he asked her.
“Do we want to?” she countered. That time in their lives had been tumultuous and hard. She wasn’t sure she could live through it again.
“I want to. What about you?”
That was the million dollar question. It all seemed to ride on her shoulders. What did she want? Everything, but wasn’t sure she could trust it. “I want it too,” she finally admitted, her shoulders sagging.
“Why do you sound so defeated?” he asked, getting up from his side of the booth and coming to sit next to her.
They were interrupted as someone came to take their drink order. To prevent another interruption, they went ahead and quickly ordered meals that sounded halfway decent.
“Talk to me.” He impulsively grabbed her hand and used the tip of his index finger to draw circles there. “If you don’t talk to me, we’re never going to get anywhere.”
She knew that he was right. The talking part wouldn’t be easy, but it was going to have to be done. If it didn’t get done, they would never be able to move on and that’s what she wanted more than anything. “I feel like the other shoe’s going to drop. Brandon,” she used his given name—something she hadn’t done in a very long time, “I can’t take it again.”
He knew what she meant. When he had been sent away, it had been ugly. They’d yelled and screamed at each other. He and Liam had gotten into a fist fight and more charges had almost been added onto their sentence. William had been in the middle, cursing him to hell. The tears in her eyes killed him. “Hell.” His voice was rough. “Come here.” He pulled her into his arms, hugging her as best he could in the booth.
Roni needed that hug; she’d needed it for years. It felt like she had come home as she gripped her fingers in his shirt, pulling him tighter against her. Her face fit into the crook of his neck and she inhaled deeply. He still smelled the exact same that he had the last time they’d hugged like this. It brought tears to her eyes and she let them come. He held her for a long time. For how long, she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that he held her, comforted her. She concentrated on the soothing tone of his voice, the hand that lightly stroked up and down her back. Those two things brought her to the other side of the breakdown she was having. Finally, the tears stopped and she pulled back from him.
“You good?” he asked as he brought his hand against her cheek, wiping away some of the moisture that sat there.
She nodded, not trusting her voice. Food and drinks now sat on the table. God, how long had she been there? How long had she lost herself in the purging of all the bad feelings? It didn’t matter, she decided. What mattered was that she could breathe again and the weight of the world was no longer on her shoulders. “I’m gonna run to the restroom real quick, if you could let me out?”
He started to move, but on second thought, he reached in and kissed her on the cheek. “I need you to know that no matter what happens, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere and I’m not letting stupid shit come between us again. We’re adults now.”
Roni smiled, but it was shaky. “I feel the same way.”
He got up, helping her out of the booth and then watched as she made her way to the women’s restroom. It had broken his heart, watching her breakdown in front of him, but he knew that it was needed. He knew that until she purged herself of all the bullshit that William had put them through, she wouldn’t be able to come to him. She wouldn’t be able to accept what he wanted to give her. He’d bided his time for years, hated being away from her, but he knew that he couldn’t rush it. Sure there’d been other women for him, just like there’d been other men for her, but she’d been there, in the back of his mind. Officer Hancock, the member of law enforcement, couldn’t have her, could never have her. But Rooster, the guy who did things for the club, the guy who was making amends with the life he’d wanted to live compared to life that he had lived—he had a shot and he wasn’t going to let this shot go.
Roni looked at herself in the mirror. She looked a complete mess. Her face was red, her nose was red, her eyes were swollen, and her hair was mussed, but at the same time she’d never felt more beautiful or more free. They had another chance, a chance to do things right. Seven billion people in the world and she had to wonder how many of those people got a second chance. She knew some of them did, others did and then threw it away, and then there were a select few that got the chance and made it work. That was the percentage that she wanted to be. Seeing other members of the club fall in love had been hard on her. She’d wanted it so badly, and here it was, the chance that she could. The possibility that she could have it again. It was the best gift that anyone had ever given her, and she knew that she wasn’t going to throw it away. She’d never looked a gift horse in the mouth and she wasn’t going to now.
Squaring her shoulders, she cleaned up her face as best she could and then walked out of the bathroom, towards the start of her life. Nothing about the past mattered now. She was starting over and she was going to quit feeling guilty for things that had happened a lifetime ago. There was nothing she could do about it and all it did was cause her heartache. She was ready for something good. After all this time, she was prepared to let the good things happen to her and she would be damned if she let this go again.
Chapter Nine
Roni sat in the office at Walker’s Wheels trying to decipher Liam’s writing. Who the hell had taught him to write? It was chicken scratch, and she couldn’t figure out if what he’d put down was an eight or a nine. The Roni of old would have just made the decision herself. The Roni that had emerged in the week since she’d had dinner with Rooster was going to check and verify, make sure that’s what he meant. Because this Roni, she wasn’t scared to ask questions. The guys were in the back, taking their afternoon break, so she decided to go out the backdoor of the office. It would be a bit of a walk, but after being cooped up all day, she needed it.
When she walked out of the door, she was shocked to find Drew and Mandy there. Drew had Mandy pressed up against the wall. “You will not tell anybody what’s going on,” he told her.
Mandy had tears streaming down her face. “You need help,” she was whispering, her fingers tangling in her brother’s shirt. “You can’t do this on your own,” she pleaded with him.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Roni asked, her heart pounding in her chest as she saw them. For the first time, she saw why Mandy might be scared of her brother. He was much taller than he’d once been; he now towered over her, her chin coming to his collarbone. He had a T-shirt on, but it was too tight; his arm muscles were getting larger and the hint of a beard showed on his face. They would be sixteen at their birthday coming up in a few months, but it wasn’t until seeing this that she saw Drew as becoming an adult. He’d never looked more like one than he did at this moment.
“She’s messing with shit that’s none of her business,” he yelled, much too close to Mandy’s ear.
“Hey!” Roni yelled back. “Don’t you yell at her like that. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“You’ve gotta make her stop, Roni.” His eyes were wild and he was sweating profusely.
“Make her stop what?” Roni was confused, and now she wondered just what in the hell Mandy had been trying to tell her the other day. “If you’re in some kind of trouble, we need to know so that we can help you.”
“Fuck that,” he
roared as he punched the brick wall next to Mandy’s head. “I help myself.”
He took off running. Roni was torn over who she should follow. Mandy won out as she collapsed into herself against the wall. “What in the world is going on?” Roni asked her, pulling her close to her body.
“He’s not himself,” she cried, holding her arms against her middle. “He’s changed in the past few months.”
“Do you know why?” Roni asked, scared that Mandy did know.
She nodded. “But I can’t say anything, I won’t. He’ll be so mad at me,” she cried, burying her head in Roni’s neck.
Roni didn’t know what to do with the crying teenager, but she did her best to console her as she sobbed. Mandy needed her mom and dad; she didn’t need an aunt who was ill-equipped to handle a meltdown like this. “Let’s go get your dad.”
“He’s going to ask questions I can’t answer,” Mandy cried.
As they rounded the corner, the men stopped talking and watched the two of them.
“Mandy?” Liam questioned as he got up from his seat at the picnic table and came over to them. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” She shook her head, biting her bottom lip.
“You need to talk to him about it,” Roni encouraged her, moving the hair back from Mandy’s forehead.
She watched the two of them walk off into the office. A few moments later, she felt the presence of Rooster beside her. “Drew?” he asked quietly.
She nodded. Rooster had been at the high school part time for three days, and he’d told her he thought something was going on.
“I hate to say this, but I think he’s mixed up bad with whatever’s going on over there. I keep hearing his name, and I’m telling you, he ain’t the same kid he was a few months ago. We’ve been saying it’s because he’s growing up and changing, but I don’t think that’s it,” he told her. “I think he’s knee-deep in this shit.”
She wasn’t sure what that shit was and she was almost positive she really didn’t want to know what it was, but it made her sad. Drew was a good kid. “I’ve never seen him that angry before, and I’ve never seen him raise a hand or heard him raise his voice to his sister. I saw all of that in the span of three minutes and it was scary.”
“Liam will handle it,” Rooster reassured her. “So about tonight.” He rocked back on his heels as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Are we still on?”
She grinned up at him. “Yes, you’re still coming over around seven, right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I gotta go to the gym and then go home and get changed, though,” he told her. “See ya later.” He leaned in, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
The knock at the door scared Roni, even though she knew it was coming. He was five minutes early. She was glad she’d started getting ready earlier than normal, knowing that she wouldn’t know what to wear; it helped her to slow down her erratic breathing.
“Hey.” She smiled as she threw open the door for him.
“Hey.” He smiled back, thrusting some flowers at her.
Never, in her whole life, had anyone brought her flowers. It felt odd, really odd, to blush because of this, but she did. She could feel her face get hot as she took them from his hands. “Thanks, c’mon in.”
It was awkward, but not in the way that two people who don’t know each other is awkward. It was awkward in the way that the two of them weren’t sure how to act around one another. Spending almost two decades apart and then trying to pick up where they left off was going to be difficult.
“I hope you’re hungry,” she told him as he came in and took his shoes off next to the door. No matter what, Rooster would always have impeccable manners; she knew that without a doubt.
“I am.” He put his hand to his stomach. “I usually drink a protein shake after working out to help repair the muscles, but I didn’t have time today. I barely had time to shower.”
She had noticed that his hair was still wet and he still had the five o’clock shadow that she was beginning to love so much. The lazy approach he took to shaving and doing his hair, really did it for her. “C’mon, I got stuff on the grill.”
He followed her deeper into the apartment than he’d ever gone before. They went through the kitchen to where there was a sliding glass door that led to a fenced in yard with a patio. “You got lucky,” he whistled.
“People know who Liam is.” She shrugged. “This is actually more of a townhouse than an apartment. The guy who runs the place owed Liam a favor and he converted two apartments into one. I have an upstairs, believe it or not, and there’s no one that can see into this backyard on either side. This really is my backyard oasis. Sometimes I question whether staying involved with my brother is worth it, but then I think of all the perks I get,” she laughed. “I hope you like blackened chicken, I couldn’t remember, but I’ve been on a kick lately.”
Rooster watched as she lifted the top of the grill, and his mouth watered as the aroma of the food came his way. “Damn, that smells good. I don’t cook much with it being just me. This is a treat.” He walked over to one of the chairs she had. It reminded him a lot of Liam’s back porch.
“You want something to drink?” she asked as she pushed the lid back down. “These only need a few more minutes. I’ve got corn on the cob and baked potatoes in the oven too, so we’ll be in business.”
His stomach picked that moment to growl and they both laughed. “I would love something to drink. I’ll go grab it though.” Rooster got up and made his way back into the kitchen they had just come from. Opening the fridge, he saw a couple bottles of Hard Lemonade and then some bottles of beer. He’d always been more of a beer drinker, so he grabbed one of those and made his way back out onto the porch.
“These just got done. Do you wanna eat out here?” she asked as she plated the chicken.
“Yeah, why not, it’s been the nicest summer that I can remember.”
It took a little while, but eventually they had full plates, were settled at the outdoor table she had, and were facing each other. Nothing in her life had ever felt so right, and Roni was scared to death that it was going to disappear as quickly as she’d found it.
Chapter Ten
“Do you miss it?” she asked a few hours later. They were lingering over a chocolate cake she’d made, and they were slowly dwindling away the alcohol she had in the fridge. It was nice, it had loosened both their tongues and taken the last little bit of hesitancy they had with each other away.
“I wouldn’t say I miss it.” He looked thoughtful. “The reason I joined the sheriff’s office was stupid in the first place, but I miss the people. Believe it or not, as many people as I arrested, I helped too. It wasn’t just about how many felons I could get in the back of a squad car. I will admit that I was probably harder on your brother than I had to be. That’s my issue and his. We’ve worked on it and we’ll probably never be the type of friends that we once were, but I’m happy with where we are right now.”
“So you miss helping, not arresting?”
“Yeah, there are always those things that stick with you. That wife who was beaten by her asshole husband. That kid who was in a bad car accident because he’d been drinking too much and nobody had the good sense to take his keys. To help them come out of their situations was always one of the rewarding things. I honestly didn’t like putting people behind bars, it wasn’t my favorite thing to do. No matter what anyone else thought,” he joked. “Is there anything that you wish you could have done, that you weren’t allowed to?”
“I would have loved to go to college. I wish I had allowed myself to date. I’ve never danced in the rain, I’ve never had someone call me and take me out just because they wanted to. Besides you, I’ve never really experienced intimacy. That’s not to say I haven’t had sex in all these years, but no one could make me feel the way you did, and I wondered for a long time if something was wrong with me.”
It took a lot for her to admit that to hi
m. She’d never admitted that to anyone before and to say it to him was more than she’d meant to do, but the words had come out without her meaning to. It had to have been the effects of the alcohol she had consumed.
Rooster tossed back what was left in his bottle just as thunder boomed overhead. They were quiet as the sky opened and rain beat against the roof of her covered porch. Standing up, he held out his hand to her. “C’mon.”
Roni glanced at his hand, not sure what to make of the gesture. “What?”
“You’ve never danced in the rain; I’ve never danced in the rain. It’s raining. Let’s knock one thing off your list.”
That was unbelievably romantic, and she could not believe that it was coming from him. Not that he hadn’t been romantic back in the day, but he’d been romantic in the way a teenage boy was romantic. He gave her his jacket when she was cold; he’d picked her a flower from the garden. This was not only romantic, but in her eyes, it was also sexy. Grasping his hand, she let him pull her into the rain.
“It’s cold,” she shrieked, wrapping her arms around his waist, burrowing closer to him, relishing the feel of his body warmth.
“We’ll be fine.” The deep timbre of his voice so close to her ear gave her goose bumps of a different kind.
They stood in each other’s arms for a long time, until he began rubbing her back, up and down, in a soothing manner. She felt it all the way to her bones. The only thing she could concentrate on was how big his palm felt there, how just a little bit further down and he could be cupping her ass and pulling her closer to him. She wasn’t ready to make that first move yet, but she couldn’t help her lips as they tilted up and sought his out.
Rooster growled. There was no other way to describe the sound that escaped from his throat. They had been tiptoeing around each other all night, really for the last few months, and he was sick of it. He was sick of her running; sick of her not knowing what to do with the feelings they had for each other. He was ready to stake a claim and that was going to happen now. He turned them and began walking her backwards, until he felt them hit the wood of the fence. His hands at her waist, he played with the hem of her T-shirt before pulling his mouth from hers and dropping it to her neck. There, he used his teeth to nip at the skin. He sucked hard and hoped like hell he did mark her, so that everyone who saw her knew that she had someone who wanted her and he wasn’t into giving up or sharing.
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