“That would be the best of both worlds, right? More people would be exposed to your work, while you get to keep your anonymity.”
“I think that’s what I’m gonna have to do, just for my own sanity. I can’t imagine people being that deep into my life again. I mean I still get the occasional person who comes seeking me out, but to give them that kind of a front row look again, I can’t take it.”
B giggled. “Glad we settled that.”
“So enough about me, what exactly are we going to Nashville for?”
Bianca gave an excited grin. “I found the perfect Christmas gift for Jagger last night online and the shop is holding it for me. You know how his guitar has seen better days? Well, this shop has one that’s gorgeous. It’s matte black, acoustic, and I’m hoping to get the Heaven Hill logo painted on it. That’s what I’m going to ask them about today, and then have it shipped home. I figured after that you and I could go do a little shopping on our own.”
“It all sounds amazing to me,” Jessica admitted. “I’m glad you invited me, I need a little fun in my life.”
Amen to that. Sometimes they all did.
Chapter Fifteen
“Tyler here today?” Jagger asked as he made his way into the office of Walker’s Wheels. So far the only person he’d laid eyes on was the man who sat behind the desk – their boss and club president – Liam Walker. If Tyler wasn’t around, this would definitely be the man he could talk to, but Tyler was famous in the club. Anyone who had a problem went to him, because he always knew the perfect thing to say.
Liam held up a finger, finishing whatever it was he worked on before turning his eyes up to his employee and friend. Taking in the irritated look on Jagger’s face, he frowned. “You okay? He took the wrecker out to pick up a car,” Liam glanced at the clunky watch on his wrist. “Should be back anytime now though.”
Jagger nodded, but didn’t say anything. Instead he took a seat in the chair opposite Liam. If Tyler was on his way, he didn’t want to burden the person who kept the business and club running like a well-oiled machine, not to mention he didn’t really want to get into this twice. Normally he wasn’t the type of guy to run to his friends for issues like this, but he knew he needed an outside opinion. In months past, he would have run to Doc Jones, but she was on vacation through Christmas week.
“Anything I can help you with? You look tightly wound.” Liam had closed the computer and offered his full attention, which he hoped Jagger appreciated. It was hard to be there for all his guys, but he made it his mission to do just that. They needed something; he was the first one to offer his time.
He wanted to tell his pres, he really did, but what he needed more than anything was the advice of Tyler Blackfoot. His advice was legendary and right now Jagger needed legendary. Bianca had kept this from him. How could she have done that? They were honest in their marriage, had been since the moment he’d put the ring on her finger. This pissed him off in more ways than he cared to admit.
Drumming a beat with his thumb on his jean-clad thigh, he shook his head. While he appreciated the offer, he knew exactly who he wanted to speak to, knew exactly what he hoped to get out of the conversation. While he loved their pres, Liam’s wife wasn’t a career woman, and Tyler’s was. Without a doubt, Tyler would understand exactly what he was going through. “I think I wanna talk to Tyler first. No offense.”
Liam threw back his head, laughing. He didn’t take offense at all. There were some people who gave great advice, and Tyler was probably the best person around to do that. How could he be offended? “Dude, we’ve all been there, and this is something you wanna talk to Tyler about first, it’s probably woman related. Good luck with all that.”
Jagger felt the side of his mouth hitch into a half-smile. Everyone knew B, and they knew she could be hard to handle sometimes. He did though, the best he could. “Thanks, I think I’m gonna need it.”
They both heard the wrecker pull into the shop and Jagger jumped up, hoping to get to Tyler before someone else did.
“Oh my gosh, B, he’s going to love this,” Jessica gasped as she took in the guitar the sales guy at the shop in downtown Nashville had brought out for them to view.
It looked just like it had on the internet. She’d been worried that it wouldn’t, because of Photoshop and clever lighting, but it truly did. As soon as she’d seen it on the website, she’d known this was Jagger’s guitar. The price tag had made her think twice about it, but they were better off financially than they ever had been. Neither one of them had made any extravagant purchases; most of the money they made went back into her car, his bike, or the house.
“I know,” Bianca ran a hand through her hair, biting her bottom lip. Tears even came to her eyes, because she could see Jagger on stage with this beautiful instrument in his hands. She could almost hear him playing it, and the crowd responding to him. He deserved this more than anyone she knew. “How much did you say the airbrushing would cost?”
The sales guy consulted his sheet, using a calculator to finish figuring out the final price. “With the Christmas special, we’ll do it for half-off, but you’re goin’ to need this rushed. All together with the price of the guitar, you’re looking at around forty-five hundred, and with it being a Gibson…you’re not going to find it cheaper. This truly is a one of a kind and if you’re looking for something that’s a once in a life-time gift, this is it.”
She knew that. This was top of the line and she knew that it would last Jagger forever. He would get more joy out of playing a really good guitar than he’d get out of a vacation or a new car for the two of them. She’d been putting a little money aside with each pay check so she’d be able to buy him an awesome Christmas gift, but it hadn’t been this much. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth again and tried to think about how much she could make tutoring through the second half of the school year and then possibly some classes over the summer. If she charged the remainder, could she realistically pay it off in six months? This credit card was in her name only, so Jagger would never know how much she’d spent on him. But she’d worked so hard to never have any kind of debt that it made her palms sweat and her head spin, trying to figure out if this was the right thing to do or not.
“Do it,” Jessica nudged her shoulder from where she stood beside her. “If you don’t have enough, I’ll loan you the rest. This will make all of us happy, because we love watching him play. For once in your life, don’t think about the fucking interest rate, and just do it.” Jessica was already pulling her checkbook out of her purse.
“No,” Bianca put her hands up. “Don’t you dare, I didn’t invite you to come with me today for you to pay for it. Just give me a second.” Mentally, she was calculating how much she’d have to pay monthly and she knew she could swing it. There would even be some wiggle room, not that they were poor, but there had been too many times when she’d had to choose between paying a bill and eating. It was hard to let that part of her past go partly because those habits were so deeply ingrained in her. She didn’t like purses, wasn’t big into name brand clothes, and she could do without jewelry. She loved the things most important to her—good friends, good food, and the music her husband played whenever he had the chance.
“I know, but I want to help you if I can.” Jessica eased the checkbook back in her purse. “You’ve always told me to go for what I want. If you want this for him, don’t let a little thing like price stop you. Go for it.”
Would they be able to take money with them? This was something she’d found herself asking lately. If they didn’t at least enjoy some of the fruits of their labor, what would they do with it? She’d been poor for so long she didn’t know how to enjoy being able to spend money without questioning every single purchase. Maybe it was time to break that habit, and if she was going to break it, she’d break it in a big way. Nobody deserved it more than Jagger, especially after he’d gone to such amazing lengths to buy her the most romantic engagement ring in the history of engagement rings
.
Bianca made her decision, threw all her money on the counter and then fished out her credit card and set it on top. “I’ll take it! Please run that card before I get buyer’s remorse.”
The sales guy laughed as he scooped up the card first, and then went about counting the cash.
Beside her, Jessica giggled and put her arm around Bianca. “I’ll be here in your time of need. Owing a little debt is okay.”
Her hands were wet with nervous sweat and she flexed them as the sales guy ran her card, handing her a slip to sign. Her hand shook as she signed it. The feeling was almost worse than when they’d bought the house. A little debt was okay, that’s what Jessica had said. Bianca wasn’t sure, but she damn sure couldn’t wait to see the look on Jagger’s face when he opened his gift.
Tyler and Jagger sat in one of the empty repair bays, away from everyone else. This area was kind of like an unofficial break room. They guys had set up a table with some chairs and a couch.
“So why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“I found this,” he pulled the letter out of his cut and handed it over to Tyler. “Read that and tell me what you think.”
He waited while Tyler went over the letter, his eyes widening as he read the offer that had been extended to Bianca. “Wow,” he blew out a deep breath. “She didn’t tell you about this?”
“Not one word,” Jagger’s voice was soft as he said the words. And fuck, that hurt to admit. They’d been together for years, had gotten married, and were on their way to spending eternity together. She couldn’t tell him about an amazing opportunity she’d been extended? That made him feel like a piece of shit.
Tyler’s response was slow. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that it makes you feel like shit because you didn’t know.”
“I didn’t even know she applied.” And maybe that’s what pissed him off more than anything. He wanted to be her cheerleader, wanted to be the person she ran to when these type of opportunities came up. Hell, he’d thought he was that person. Now he wondered how many she’d passed over.
“I have to be honest,” Tyler ran a hand through his long hair. “If it were me and I found out Meredith had kept something like this a secret, I’d be pissed too. Not because of the secret, but because of the magnitude. This is big for her in her career.”
“I know,” Jagger pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it up, inhaling deeply. He let the nicotine course through his body, hoping it would settle his nerves. “Why would she hide this from me? Why would she not go for it? This is something she’s wanted since she started teaching – to learn and teach others. I can’t understand why she wouldn’t grab this opportunity and not let go,” he stopped talking, taking another drag deep into his lungs. “Then I wonder if it’s me, ya know? Does she not want to think about doing it because she’s afraid I’m gonna get mad about the time it’s going to take away from the two of us? Does she think I’m not going to support her?” He stopped again, rubbing a hand on his sternum. “Not gonna lie, that fucking hurts.”
“The only thing you can do, is ask her. If you don’t have honesty in your marriage, then you’re in more trouble than you think,” Tyler advised. “This right here,” he gestured to the paper, “is not really that big of a deal, but it sure as hell can turn into one. If you don’t stop it now, it’s going to. Don’t let your fears of what she’s not telling you fester. Confront this head on, and make sure you have open communication.”
Jagger knew every word Tyler spoke was right, but he also knew he had to wait until the perfect time. He couldn’t go at her as irritated as he was right now, it would be too easy to lose his temper and end up making accusations that would only make things worse. He was going to have to let this go for a while.
Chapter Sixteen
“Thanks for inviting me over for cookie day!”
“Thanks for coming,” Meredith opened her front door, ushering Bianca inside.
Once she stepped in, Bianca could hear the noise from the kitchen. Between the adults and the children, it sounded like they were having a great time. “Sounds like a party.”
Meredith shook her head, a rueful grin on her face. “We have some margaritas, because we’re all gonna need it when this is all over. We’re just drinking slowly.”
Bianca laughed. Unlike the rest of them, she worked with kids all day; granted her students were older, but every once in a while, they could still get on her nerves.
“Hey!” She yelled to the group of women and children that had gathered. There were a ton of hellos shouted back, including a few “Aunt B’s!” that made her heart clench. She loved these kids with everything she had. “Who wants me to help them?” Again lots of screams as she gratefully accepted a margarita and sat down at the kitchen table.
“So where’s Jagger today?” Jessica asked as she had a seat next to her friend. They hadn’t seen each other since their Nashville trip the week before.
“He’s at home, wrapping some gifts. Don’t worry; I hid the guitar so he won’t find it.”
“You got it in?” Jessica’s excited gasp caused B to be excited about it again.
“I did, and it looks so good. I’m really proud of myself. I hope he loves it. If he doesn’t, it’s gonna break my damn heart,” B laughed.
“Wait, you got Jagger a guitar?” Meredith handed her a margarita with an excited squeal.
“I did,” she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and went to the picture she’d taken, showing it around the room “I’ll be paying it off for the next few months, but I think he’s going to love it.”
“Girl,” Christine whistled. “My brother is gonna drag you down next to the Christmas tree, strip you bare, and give you the ride of your life, and I’m not talking about on the back of his bike either.”
There were snickers from the adults in the room and Bianca felt a blush all the way to her neck. “Thanks for that.”
“No problem, I’m always here to make inappropriate comments in front of children. Y’all just remember to invite me every time.”
Bianca turned back to Addie. “Okay little girl, what kind of a sugar cookie are we makin’ today?”
Chubby fingers grabbed a Christmas tree and the two of them got to work. Glancing out the window, Bianca saw snowflakes – the first of the season. Perfect weather to decorate cookies.
Jagger sat on the living room floor, wrapping gifts. The two of them had split the gifts in half and he’d been stuck with this bunch. Basically he put them in bags and made sure the tissue paper looked decent. All of B’s were pretty with bows and perfect corners. He laughed at himself as he stuck a ribbon on this one, hoping that whoever got it, appreciated his flair. Finishing up, he situated all the gifts under the Christmas tree.
They’d had a lot of fun decorating the house for Christmas. They hadn’t had much room in their small apartment for more than a small tree and a small Christmas Village. Here, with all the additional room in their house, they had a much bigger village, an adult tree, and a life-sized snowman that sat to the right of the tree. He hoped that over the years they lived here their decorations would increase. He’d had visions about doing some outside stuff—lights in the yard, coming off the house, and maybe some lawn ornaments, but time had gotten away from him. Next year, he knew he’d be prepared because this was all he’d ever wanted in his life, a place to call his own with the woman who loved him by his side.
He was nervous as he waited for her to get back from Tyler and Meredith’s and his mind was wandering. They needed to have a talk and he was dreading it. Her present would shock her, because he was all but positive she didn’t know that he knew about New Orleans. Thinking about her keeping it from him still tore him up.
They’d been through a lot in their relationship and he’d thought they were past the point of keeping secrets from one another. That didn’t mean he didn’t understand where it came from. He knew her hopes, her dreams, desires, and he also knew her fears. But one thing he
knew more than any – he knew her better than she knew herself. She wanted him to go with her, but she was scared to ask.
He blew out a gust of air and hoped like hell this night went well. Christmas Eve was supposed to be a happy time – traditionally it was one of the happiest nights of the year for the two of them. They had a tradition of exchanging gifts on Christmas Eve and he hoped this year his gift wouldn’t be thrown back in his face. It’d never happened before, but there was always a first time for everything.
Glancing out their living room window, he noticed the snow was starting to pile up. A frigid Arctic front had come in the day before, and the local weather was calling for a few inches of snow. As soon as B got home, he’d be able to enjoy the peace and serenity of it. For now, he worried. She’d texted him when she left the Blackfoots’, and figuring that she’d have to take her time on possibly slick roads, she should be pulling into the driveway within the next fifteen minutes.
Jagger got up from where he’d been sitting on the floor, stretching his back. There was a chill in the air, and he thought turning on their gas fireplace might win him some bonus points with her. They hadn’t used it yet, but he definitely wanted to set a mood for tonight. It took a few minutes for him to figure out the controls, but by the time he had a roaring fire, he’d seen the lights of B’s Mustang making its way down their driveway.
Immediately, he felt relieved. It surprised him since he hadn’t realized how tense he’d been until now. Knowing there were secrets between them tore him up. It’d especially torn him up, knowing what he’d known for the past week. He wondered if she’d noticed he was quieter than usual, but then again, she’d been a little more quiet herself. He wondered if it had to do with her trip to Nashville, because that’s when it had started. In the end, he hadn’t asked. He knew that if he confronted her, the anger he’d felt over her keeping New Orleans from him would boil over in a rage and while he was hurt, he didn’t want to fight with her about it. In the past few days, his anger had abated and he’d been able to see where she was coming from. In the end, he’d been glad he hadn’t gone with his first instinct and realized for the first time that maybe he was finally becoming an adult.
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