by Jill Shalvis
“Hey, that’s private,” Grace said.
“Holy shit, they’re going to pay you a buttload,” Anna exclaimed, eyeballing the bottom line on the offer. “What is it you do again? Add up other people’s money?”
Grace sighed. “Something like that.”
“I want a job that pays this.”
“Get a degree.”
“There you go, sounding like my brother again.” Anna flipped through the papers for a moment, thoughtful. Silent.
“I’m interviewing Sarah at the diner. Want to help?”
“I guess.”
Inside Eat Me, Jan brought them iced tea as they met with Sarah and her nice, neat, freshly printed résumé. She was local, and everyone liked her. She had a list of references a mile long, and she could start immediately.
It was a no-brainer.
After Sarah left the table, Grace looked at Anna. “So?”
“So what?”
“What did you think?”
“She’s like Mary Poppins,” Anna said.
Yeah. Dammit. She was perfect. Far more perfect than Grace. Which was not the point, she told herself. She’d never meant for this job to become anything more than a temp position on the way to the Real World.
“You look annoyed,” Anna said. “You’ve been looking for someone to replace you for weeks. Why aren’t you doing the happy dance?”
“She’s talking about getting married to her fiancé. She’ll be too busy with wedding plans to play with Toby.”
“She said they’re planning on eloping.”
“Exactly,” Grace said. “Which means she’ll just up and go away for two weeks. Toby doesn’t need that kind of disruption; he’s had enough.”
“So hire Riley.”
“Yes, but Riley’s so…young.”
Anna stared at her, then laughed. “Let me get this straight. First you can’t find a viable candidate. Now you’ve got not one but two, and you don’t want either?”
“I didn’t say that.”
Anna shook her head. “You really are as nuts as I thought.”
“Pot, kettle,” Grace said. “Now tell me what the hell you were doing wheeling down the highway like a Formula One driver minus a racetrack.”
“You first. Tell me why you’re not happy about your job offer, the one any normal person would be celebrating already by now.”
They stared at each other, at an impasse.
“You first,” Anna bargained with the same talent as her brother. “And then I’ll tell you.”
“Uh-huh,” Grace said. “And I’d totally say yes, except you’re a weasel and a non-truth teller—”
“Non-truth teller?”
“Nicer than saying liar,” Grace said with a shrug.
“Okay, fine.” Anna shifted in her chair. “Today was the day.”
“The day…”
“With Devon,” Anna said. “The day I agreed to finally…you know. Do the deed.”
“Oh.” Grace’s stomach clenched. “And? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I really thought I was ready. I’m twenty-freaking-one.”
Grace held her breath. Tell me you didn’t go through with it…
“I got there,” Anna said. “To his place. And it was still his same stinky, old bedroom with the huge bong in a corner and the posters of Megan Fox on the walls, and no pillowcases on the pillows…”
Pig.
“I mean, I don’t know what I expected,” Anna said. “I guess I thought somehow it’d be romantic and special. You know?”
“I do know. And it should be romantic and special. What happened?”
“I changed my mind.”
Grace let out the breath she’d been holding. “It’s okay. It’s okay to change your mind.”
Anna lifted a shoulder, then shook her head. “Devon was all pissed off about it.”
Tell me I have a reason to call the cops and have his ass arrested. “Did he hurt you?”
“No. Of course not. I wouldn’t let a guy hurt me.” Anna’s voice caught. “But he was a total jerk about it. Wouldn’t give me a ride home.”
Asshole. “So you took your wheels to the highway?” Grace asked. “Why didn’t you call someone, Josh or me?”
“Josh’s at work.”
“He’d have come anyway,” Grace said. “And you know it. And I would have as well.”
“Without killing Devon?”
Tough question. “Okay, so Josh might have struggled with that, but you can call me, Anna. Always. I’ll pick you up no questions asked and take you wherever you need to go. Well, except the one place you actually want to go. I don’t have enough credit on my Visa to get us to Europe, sorry. But I do have a full tank of gas, which gives us about two hundred miles in any direction.”
Anna rolled her eyes, but she also almost smiled. “I still want to go to Europe.”
“I’ve heard this song.”
“And then after Europe, I figured out what I want to do with my life. Other than driving the people in it crazy.”
“Anna.” Grace covered Anna’s hand with hers. Anna’s was calloused and strong from spinning the wheels on her chair. As strong as the woman it belonged to. “There’s no need to stop something you’re so good at.”
Anna snorted.
Grace smiled at her, then let the amusement fade. “You know you can do whatever you want, right? Climb mountains, cure world hunger, rule the universe?”
“I want to work with people like me. Help them, like, adjust. I know,” she said quickly. “I know I’m mean and obnoxious, but that’s me. That has nothing to do with my legs not working. I think I’m pretty damn well adjusted when it comes to that.”
“I agree,” Grace said quietly. “So you want to be a counselor? A therapist?”
“Psychologist. Specializing in obnoxious teenagers.” She smiled. “Who better, right?”
“Nice,” Grace said. “You’d probably have to lose the scowl, maybe turn on your self-editor, but nice. Really nice. Do it.”
“It’s just that I’ve said that I’d go to school like a million times over the past three years, and every time Josh got me all admitted and registered and everything, and I’ve flaked.”
“So don’t flake,” Grace said.
“I can’t tell him. He won’t believe me. He’s lost faith.”
“Anna.” Grace shook her head. “He’s never lost faith in you. Have a little faith in him.” Because Anna wasn’t looking sure, Grace went on. “You’re a born fighter. So fight for what you want.”
Anna nodded, then smiled.
“What?”
“Your turn. You have to tell me stuff now. About your job offer.”
“Well,” Grace said. “It’s a good one.”
“Duh.”
“It’s everything my parents ever wanted for me. And I thought it was everything I wanted as well.”
“But it’s not?”
“No, it is.” Grace hesitated. She didn’t know how to express her feelings on this because they were so new. Her “big job” was going to satisfy her goal to be a successful career woman. But she’d discovered something during her time here in Lucky Harbor—happiness. Shouldn’t that be a goal too? “I don’t want to leave Lucky Harbor,” she admitted. “I like it here. It feels more like home than…well, home.”
Anna didn’t laugh. She didn’t roll her eyes or make a single sarcastic statement. She just nodded. “Well, then, there’s really only one thing to do.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s painful,” Anna warned. “You’re going to have to take your own advice and fight for what you want.”
Grace stared at her as the door to the diner opened. Josh strode in like a man on a mission. He wore navy scrubs, his hospital ID hanging around his neck, and a deep scowl on his face.
Jan started toward him, order pad in her hand, before she caught sight of his expression and backed off.
He headed straight toward Anna and Grace, mouth grim as he turned to Anna. �
��I just got three phone calls that you were wheeling yourself down the highway and sobbing, refusing all rides.”
And he’d run out of the ER in the middle of his shift to come find her. Grace’s heart melted.
But not, apparently, Anna’s. “That’s stupid,” she said. “Who said I was sobbing? I want to talk to that person!”
Josh was not amused. “What the fuck happened?”
He’d spoken quietly, but he was standing over them, and as big as he was—not to mention incredibly charismatic—people were looking.
“Look,” Anna said, pointing out the window. “A puppy.”
Josh’s eyes narrowed, but he took a deep breath and slid into the booth. “Anna—”
“Grace got the job!”
Josh’s eyes cut to Grace. They were laser sharp as always, but for an instant, just the briefest of instants, something not quite identifiable flickered. She wanted to see it again, wanted to reach for it, or better yet, have him give it to her willingly.
“Congratulations,” he said quietly. Calmly. As if it mattered not one bit, when they both knew it mattered a whole hell of a lot.
“It’s not a done deal,” she said.
“They’re going to pay her beaucoup bucks,” Anna said. “She’d be crazy not to take it.”
“You deserve it,” Josh said quietly.
“Okay!” Anna said, turning her chair away from the table. “So who’s ready to go home?”
Grace stood up and went through her purse for cash to cover their bill. Josh put a hand on hers and turned and sent a look in Jan’s direction.
Jan jerked her chin in acknowledgment. She’d put it on Josh’s account.
In the parking lot, Grace hesitated. She figured Anna would go with Josh, but Anna was at Grace’s car, struggling with her chair. Grace looked at Josh. “I’ve got her.”
Jaw tight, he stepped forward and helped Anna get into Grace’s car before turning to his.
Twenty minutes later, Grace had dropped Anna at home and met Toby at the bus stop. They’d no sooner walked in the door than Josh showed up.
“Hey,” Grace said, surprised, “you done with your shift?”
“No. I drove over there but I need to do this. Where’s Anna?”
“In her room.”
She could hear his phone going crazy in his pocket. Josh ignored it and headed down the hall. Not wanting to be near the impending explosion, Grace took Toby into the kitchen, setting him up with carrots and yogurt dip. But as it turned out, voices could carry.
“Just tell me what the hell you were doing alone on the highway like that,” came Josh’s voice.
“Coming home from Devon’s.”
“I told you not to see him anymore.”
“That’s not your decision to make,” Anna said.
“What happened there, Anna?” His voice was low and controlled. Angry.
“You don’t want to know,” she said.
“I do want to know.”
“You don’t.”
Their voices were escalating. Grace shoved more carrots at Toby, then looked around for Tank, thinking the pup could be counted on for a good diversion. Surely he’d be chewing on a piece of furniture or doing something bad. But Tank was sitting at her feet, looking wistful and sad at being left out of the carrot party.
Where was a loud “arf arf” when she needed one?
“Puppies like carrots,” Toby said.
“Choking hazard,” Grace said.
“Talk to me,” Josh said to Anna.
“Fine!” came Anna’s raised voice. “I was going to lose my virginity today! Happy now? Are you thrilled I told you?”
“Anna.” Josh’s voice sounded tight, like he was having trouble getting the words out. “You can tell me anything, you know that. But this…with him? Jesus. How stupid can you be?”
Uh-oh, Grace thought. He’d just waved a red cape in front of the bull.
From down the hall, silence thundered, so thick Grace could scarcely breathe through it.
But apparently Anna could. “I can do what I want with my life. I’m a grown-up.”
“Then act like one.” Josh wasn’t yelling like Anna, but he was close. “And you’re not a grown-up until you can support yourself.”
“Daddy’s mad,” Toby whispered.
Grace again looked at a calm, quiet Tank. “Are you kidding me?” she asked the puppy. “Really, you’re going to behave now?”
“This is stupid!” Anna yelled at her brother. “It’s not like you’re a saint! You don’t have to follow any rules or listen to anyone! You get to do whatever—and whoever—you want.”
“Anna—” He broke off, and Grace imagined him shoving his fingers into his already disheveled hair in frustration. She felt the frustration as her own because she knew that everything he did was for his family. Anna knew that too. Grace waited for him to say so, even as she knew he wouldn’t.
“The way I live my life,” he said, “the things I do, aren’t up for discussion. Period.”
“Even the babysitter?”
Grace sucked in a breath. Toby looked at her with a thoughtfulness that belied his five years, while she did her best to look innocent. “More yogurt?” she asked desperately. “Jedis need strong bones. Here, have some milk too.”
“Tank’s sad,” Toby said. “He wants a carrot.”
Tank spun in circles before sitting and offering a paw and a hopeful smile.
“See?” Toby said. “He’s saying please.”
Grace gave up and went to the cabinet for a doggie cookie.
“I just wanted to be normal,” Anna flung at her brother, her words booming down the hall. “I wanted to feel like a woman, Josh. And Grace said—”
“Wait a minute. Grace knew?”
Oh, crap.
“She guessed,” Anna said. “And it’s not like I could tell you. You couldn’t possibly have understood because you’re like a machine. No feelings allowed.”
This was followed by another thundering beat of silence, during which Grace hoped Josh wasn’t killing his sister. But he’d taken an oath to save lives, so probably he was just grinding his teeth into powder.
“If that’s how you feel,” he finally said, sounding very tired, “then you should go.”
“That’s what I’m saying! I want to go to Europe!”
“No, I mean go. Move out. If you can’t be happy here, or at college, then you need to go figure your life out and learn to support yourself.”
Another silence, this one loaded with utter shock.
Grace grimaced. Perfect—an ultimatum, which, hello, never worked, especially on angry twenty-one-year-olds. Plus, Anna was so similar to Josh, down to every last stubborn hair on her stubborn head. How could he not see that?
Granted, Grace didn’t have a whole hell of a lot of experience with blood ties. Actually, she had zero experience with blood ties. But even she knew that no one could tell Josh what to do. So why would he think it’d work on the sister who was so much like him?
Grace started down the hall with some half-baked idea of trying to butt in and somehow finesse the situation and ran smack into Josh coming out of Anna’s room. “Sorry,” she said. “I thought maybe I could help…”
“You can’t,” Anna said from her doorway, eyes flashing. “No one can help because he’s an overbearing, uptight, rigid asshole who doesn’t listen.”
“I always listen,” Josh said. “You just don’t like what I say.” He looked at Grace for backup, and she hesitated.
“Jesus,” Josh said, and tossed up his hands as Anna wheeled past them both, heading toward the door. “Where are you going?” he asked her.
“What do you care? You told me to move out.”
“Oh, for chrissakes, Anna. I didn’t—”
The door slammed.
Josh inhaled sharply and turned to Grace.
She tried a weak smile. “Well that went well, huh? Talking it out…” She trailed off when he rolled his eyes. “Okay, so it didn
’t. But an ultimatum, Josh? Really? You’re a doctor. You’re supposed to be smarter than that.”
“Excuse me?”
God save her from annoying alphas. “Oh, come on,” she said. “You lost that fight the minute you tried to tell her what to do instead of discussing it—”
“Discussing it never works with her.”
“Are you sure you actually gave it a shot?” Grace asked.
Josh’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve tried everything over the past five years. Asking, telling, begging…”
She doubted the last part. She couldn’t imagine Josh begging for anything. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. The night Mrs. Porter had died and he’d been drunk, he’d begged a little then. Don’t stop, Grace. Oh fuck, please don’t ever stop.
He probably didn’t want to be reminded of that right now.
The truth was, his parents’ deaths had thrust him into some uncomfortable, unnatural roles—being his sister’s parent, the head of household, protector…everything. He’d been wearing all the hats and working an incredibly demanding job on top of it. It’d taken its toll on their relationship.
But Anna wasn’t that same sixteen-year-old anymore either. “She’s growing up,” Grace said. “She’s old enough to make her own mistakes.”
“And you’re an expert on family now?” he asked. “You, the queen of running away from your own family problems?”
“Okay, now that’s not really fair,” she said slowly, stung. “I didn’t exactly run away—”
“No, you just lied rather than tell them your dreams don’t match theirs.”
She opened her mouth but he wasn’t done. “You took Anna’s side.” He said this in his quiet, calm voice. His professional, detached voice, and that really got to her.
Her parents talked to her in that same voice when she’d disappointed them or had somehow—no matter how inadvertently—stepped off the expected path.
No judgment, never that, but no real emotional attachment either. No feeling.
She processed the unexpected pain of that as well.
Josh mistook her silence for something else. “You took her side,” he repeated, “over me.”
She found her voice, which was not void of emotion, thank you very much. She was getting pissed off. “I didn’t realize we were taking sides.”
