‘And the girls stayed with you?’
Iain nodded. ‘Their school and friends – everything’s in Edinburgh and Dawn didn’t want to disrupt that. But there was more to it than that. She wanted some time to herself. It was as if she’d given all she had to her children and had simply run out.’
Catriona didn’t want to pass judgement on a woman she’d never met but she couldn’t understand how any mother could leave her children.
‘I know what you’re thinking. How could she leave her girls?’
‘Well, I–’
‘It’s the question I simply can’t answer,’ Iain said. ‘When she was settled in the States, she sent for the girls and they’ve had a few holidays over there, but they’ve been getting fewer and fewer as the years go by and she told me categorically that she didn’t want them this Christmas. It wasn’t a case of, “They can stay with you,” but more a “Don’t even think of sending them over here.”
‘So what’s changed?’ Catriona dared to ask.
‘Did Lexi tell you that Dawn has a partner?’
‘No, she didn’t.’
‘I’m not sure how much the girls know about it, and I don’t know how long Dawn’s been seeing him, but it sounds serious and – well – she wanted to spend Christmas with his family in San Francisco. The bottom line was she didn’t want the girls there. I have a feeling she wants to be Dawn again – the pre-marriage Dawn who was beautiful and adored everywhere she went and didn’t come with a couple of kids attached to her.’
‘But you said she adored her daughters,’ Catriona said, still trying to work it all out.
‘She did!’ Iain said, his voice unnaturally high. ‘She changed and I wasn’t there to stop her or to question her. We were both leading separate lives and somehow managed to drift away from each other.’
One of the fat logs on the fire shifted and a flurry of sparks flew up the dark chimney.
‘Listen,’ he said, ‘I don’t mean to burden you with all this.’
‘You’re not,’ she said. ‘I like to listen. It’s one of the joys of having guests – I get to see little glimpses of the world. Living here can be very isolating.’ She gave a little grin and he smiled back. ‘Now,’ she said, getting up and chucking another log onto the fire, ‘I’m going to start lunch.’
‘Will you all join us, please?’
‘For lunch?’
‘Yes. I think Lexi would like that,’ he said, ‘and I certainly would.’ He looked at her, anxiety in his eyes as he awaited her answer.
‘We’d be delighted,’ she said.
*
‘I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow,’ Iain said as he finished his homemade pork pie.
‘It’s about time,’ Brody said. ‘I’ve been waiting for it all year.’
‘He’s not kidding,’ Catriona said as she cleared the plates. ‘I think he was telling me last Boxing Day what he wanted for next Christmas.’
Brody grinned, obviously knowing she was right.
‘Did we leave mince pies out at home for Father Christmas?’ Chrissa asked her father.
‘No, darling. There’s no point because all your presents will be delivered here,’ he said, thinking about the gifts he’d smuggled out into the boot of the car before they’d left Edinburgh.
‘I don’t put mince pies out for Father Christmas,’ Brody said. ‘I put them out for the ghosts.’
‘Ghosts?’ Lexi said, her eyes gleaming.
Chrissa’s mouth dropped open in alarm. ‘Are there ghosts?’
‘No, no,’ Catriona said quickly. ‘The castle isn’t haunted. Not really. It’s just a story Brody puts about to get attention.’
‘It is haunted,’ he said. ‘I’ve heard them heavy breathing in the night.’
‘That’s just Bagpipe snoring,’ Fee said.
Everyone laughed. Except Chrissa whose fork had halted half-way to her mouth at the first mention of ghosts.
‘Chrissa,’ Catriona said, ‘I promise you there are no ghosts at Caldoon.’
‘I expect you get a lot of visitors who want to see a ghost, right?’ Iain said.
‘Castles and ghosts do seem to go hand-in-hand as far as guests are concerned. I’ve often thought we should make one up. Of course, there was that time Brody dressed up in a bed sheet and terrified that dear old lady from Swindon. She said she was never going to set foot in Scotland again.’
Brody grinned.
‘I don’t know why people want to stay in castles,’ Lexi said. Her father gave her an immediate warning glare. ‘They’re so cold and cobwebby, aren’t they?’
‘You’re cold in your room?’ Catriona asked.
‘No,’ Lexi said.
‘There are cobwebs, then?’
‘Not in my room,’ Lexi said. ‘I just meant–’
‘You meant to say what a wonderful experience it is to stay here,’ Iain said. ‘That’s right, isn’t it?’
‘No, I didn’t, Dad. I think I should be honest. You’re always saying how important honesty is.’
‘Yes, but–’
‘And I didn’t want to come here,’ she went on.
‘Lexi – there’s being honest and then there’s being plain rude,’ Iain said, his voice raising slightly.
‘And I very much doubt if Chrissa really wanted to come here too. It’s just she’s too sweet to say anything.’
‘Lexi – stop this right now.’
‘We wanted to go to Mum’s,’ Lexi said. ‘Didn’t we, Chrissa? We wanted to spend Christmas with Mum.’
‘Yeah?’ Iain said. ‘Well, I’ve got news for you, Lexi. Your mum didn’t want you there, okay?’
The dining room filled with a deafening silence as all eyes turned to Iain.
‘Lexi – I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean–’
But it was too late to retract the words now. They were out there and had done their damage.
‘Lexi–’ he cried as his daughter got up from the table and bolted from the room.
Chrissa sat perfectly still, her mouth gaping open as if letting a wild, silent cry free, and her eyes filled with tears.
‘Chrissa – sweetheart,’ Iain said, getting up from his chair and pulling his daughter out from hers so he could hug her to him. ‘I didn’t mean that. I don’t know why I said it.’
Chrissa didn’t speak but the crying wasn’t long in coming.
‘My darling – don’t cry!’ Iain said as he stroked her dark hair. ‘I’m here. I’m here.’ He looked up and caught Catriona’s eye. ‘I didn’t handle that very well, did I?’ he said to her.
She bit her lip, obviously unsure what to say.
‘You’re in a difficult position,’ she told him diplomatically.
‘I don’t know what I was thinking. She just pushed my buttons.’
‘Don’t blame yourself,’ Catriona said. ‘Listen, I’ll go and find Lexi, okay?’
‘Shall we help, Mum?’ Fee said, standing up from the table.
Brody was on his feet too so as not to miss out on a potential adventure.
‘I’ll look as well,’ he said. ‘I know all the best hiding places in the castle and I’ll find her if she’s in one of them.’
CHAPTER 7
It wasn’t until half an hour later that the panic set in.
‘Iain, we can’t find her,’ Catriona announced as she, Fee and Brody met back in the living room. ‘She’s not in her room or anywhere on that entire floor.’
‘And I’ve searched in all the hiding places,’ Brody said, ‘even the cobwebby ones where girls don’t normally go.’
‘She’s not in the billiards room or the Great Hall either,’ Fee said.
Iain’s face was ashen. He was sitting on one of the sofas by the fire, Chrissa cuddling in next to him. ‘You don’t think she could have gone outside, do you?’
They all looked out of the window at the brooding afternoon with its grim grey clouds threatening snow.
‘None of us heard the front door, did w
e?’ Catriona asked.
Everyone shook their heads.
‘I’ll check the kitchen,’ Brody said, disappearing before his mother could stop him.
‘No cookies, Brody!’ she shouted after him before turning back to Iain. ‘How’s Chrissa?’
‘She’s a bit calmer now,’ Iain said.
Chrissa looked up at the mention of her name. ‘Where’s Lexi?’
‘We’re trying to find her, darling,’ Iain said.
‘Mum!’ Brody said as he ran back into the room.
‘What is it?’ Catriona asked.
‘The key to the tower’s gone.’
Catriona and Iain locked eyes, their fear apparent.
‘She wouldn’t have taken it, surely?’ Catriona said. ‘She wouldn’t have known where to look for a start although it’s not that hard to find.’
‘She’s very good at finding things she shouldn’t,’ Iain said as he sprang up from the sofa. ‘Let’s go.’
Brody led the way, crossing the hall and following the route which the MacNeices had taken when they’d first arrived at the castle.
‘Would she really have gone up there?’ Iain asked.
‘We’ll soon find out,’ Catriona said.
‘What if she’s done something stupid?’
‘Don’t even go there, Iain,’ she told him, her hand resting briefly on his arm as they reached the door to the spiral staircase.
‘Fee,’ Catriona said, ‘I want you to stay here with Chrissa, okay? Actually, on second thoughts, go back to the living room where it’s warmer.’
‘But, Mum–’
‘No buts.’
Fee tutted but took hold of Chrissa’s hand and did what she was told whilst Catriona, Iain and Brody headed up the stairs, setting off at the kind of urgent pace which prohibits speech.
Catriona could only imagine what was going through Iain’s mind as they climbed towards the tower and, although she’d told him to banish any negative thoughts, she couldn’t help going to the worst case scenario herself. What if Lexi had done something stupid? What would they do? How would Iain cope? And would her own children be able to cope? It was too black a place to visit.
You have to keep calm, she told herself. Nothing’s happened. Everything’s going to be okay.
But, when they reached the wooden door and found it unlocked, she couldn’t suppress a feeling of terror.
‘She did take the key,’ Brody said. ‘I was right!’
‘Brody,’ Catriona said, turning to him and placing her hands on his shoulders, ‘I need you to stay here.’
‘I knew you were going to say that!’ he said with a sigh.
‘Then you’ll know that’s the right thing to do,’ she said calmly. ‘The roof’s a dangerous place, especially when it’s icy.’
‘I know,’ he said.
‘I’m going up,’ Iain said, looking agitated at having to wait a second longer than was necessary.
‘No,’ Catriona said, ‘let me go first. I know the layout of the roof – all the danger spots.’
He nodded his assent and the two of them walked up the remaining steps until they reached another wooden door.
‘Brace yourself,’ Catriona told him. ‘It can get pretty wild up here.’
She opened the door and the gust of wind that greeted them instantly stole their breaths.
And there Lexi was. Huddled up against a castellated wall, her knees pressed to her chest and her dark hair flying wildly around her and the flag whipping high above her.
‘Lexi!’ Iain cried out. She didn’t look up. Had she heard him?
Catriona caught his arm as he instinctively made a move towards his daughter.
‘Let me,’ she said. Iain nodded, his face pale and anxious.
Catriona walked out slowly onto the roof, mindful of the fact that they were five storeys up and that it was both windy and icy: possibly the worst conditions to be up there.
‘Lexi, love,’ Catriona said as she reached her, placing a hand on her arm.
The teenager looked up, her dark eyes filled with fear and Catriona noted that she was sitting dangerously close to the part of the roof that was in desperate need of repair.
‘Let’s get you down from here,’ Catriona said.
‘I can’t move,’ Lexi cried.
‘Yes you can!’ Catriona shouted above a sudden gust of wind. ‘Take my hand. You’re going to be all right.’
Lexi fixed her eyes on Catriona and then placed her hand in hers.
‘That’s it. Nice and slowly. Keep a tight grip of me.’
Lexi was barely on her feet when she slipped on a patch of ice, crying out in fright.
‘Lexi!’ Iain cried, rushing out onto the roof towards his daughter.
‘It’s okay – I’ve got you,’ Catriona said, placing her arm around her. ‘Don’t walk there!’ she shouted to Iain just before he reached a particularly unsafe part of the roof.
With baby steps, the three of them made it back to the door, shutting it behind them.
‘She’s frozen,’ Catriona told Iain. ‘We need to warm her up.’
Brody came up the stairs towards them.
‘Brody – go ahead of us and let Chrissa and Fee know Lexi’s okay. Then boil us a kettle and make a cup of tea and a hot water bottle for Lexi and bring them up to her room.’
‘I’m fine,’ Lexi said, but her pale face and the fact that she was shaking told quite another story.
Catriona and Iain helped her down the steps, reaching the landing that led to stairs and on down the hallway her bedroom.
‘Let’s get you into bed, love,’ Catriona said, taking Lexi’s shoes off. Lexi was wearing a thin cotton tunic-style dress over leggings which had become damp from her time on the roof. Catriona turned to Iain. ‘I’m going to get her undressed, okay? We need to make sure she’s dry.’
He nodded and ran into the ensuite for a towel.
‘Here,’ he said a moment later, turning his back as Catriona got to work.
Catriona worked as quickly as she could, undressing and drying Lexi who didn’t protest. She was shivering which was a good sign as it was nature’s way of getting a person to warm themselves up.
After dressing Lexi in her nightie and bed socks, which Catriona found on a chair by the bed, she helped her into bed and Iain sat down beside her, cradling her in his arms.
‘Lexi, darling,’ he said and then he turned to Catriona. ‘We need to blast some heat at her.’
She shook her head. ‘No, no. She needs to warm up gently and slowly. That’s the way.’
‘You don’t think she’s got hypothermia, do you?’
‘I think she was quite close to getting it,’ Catriona said as calmly as she could, ‘but we’ve got her in time.’
It was then that Brody and the girls arrived with the tea and hot water bottle and Chrissa ran into the room, leaping onto the bed.
‘Careful, Chrissa!’ Iain warned but she’d already snuggled in next to her sister.
‘We need to get this warm drink inside you, Lexi,’ Catriona said as she took the mug of tea from Fee. ‘Can you sit up for me? That’s it. Nice and slowly.’
They all watched as Lexi sipped her drink and Catriona slipped the hot water bottle into the bed.
‘We’ll give you some space, okay?’ she told Iain and he nodded.
‘Listen,’ he said, grabbing Catriona’s hand as she left the bedroom, ‘I can’t thank you enough.’
‘You don’t have to,’ she said, giving his hand a light squeeze before walking away.
CHAPTER 8
Iain’s heart was heavy and his mind racing as he thought about what had just happened. He looked at Lexi, who had put her mug of tea down and was wrapped warmly under the duvet with Chrissa snuggled up next to her, and something inside him seemed to burst and he squeezed her tightly to him.
‘Daddy!’ Chrissa cried, half in surprise and half in delight as he flung his arms around her too.
‘Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!’ he cried. �
��What were you thinking?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said, a sob in her voice as he squashed her to him. ‘I just had to get away. I had to–’
‘You scared us half to death!’ he confessed.
‘I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to.’
‘You mean the world to me, Lex. I don’t know what I’d do without you and Chrissa.’
The three of them embraced one another, crying and clinging in equal measure for what seemed like an eternity.
Finally, Iain looked up, wiping his eyes with a tissue from his pocket. The room seemed horribly silent all of a sudden and he wasn’t quite sure what to say or do. Nothing had ever prepared him for such a situation and he felt utterly lost and half-wished that Catriona would walk in with a cup of tea and her pretty little smile. But she didn’t. He was on his own and so he took a deep breath. But he didn’t have a chance to say anything because Lexi beat him to it.
‘You were speaking the truth about Mum, weren’t you?’ she said, as he wiped the tears from her cheeks and tucked her hair behind her ears, which made her look so very young. ‘She didn’t want us with her, did she?’
Iain sighed. How could he possibly answer such a question? ‘Lexi – listen to me,’ he began.
‘I think I’ve known it for a while,’ Lexi interrupted.
‘What?’ he asked, shocked by her statement.
‘The way she’s been acting when we’ve been with her and the fact that she doesn’t ring us as much now,’ Lexi said. ‘It’s like she’s a different person now.’
Iain nodded sadly. ‘I’m so sorry to hear that, darling,’ he said. ‘I wish there was something I could say to make this all better but know this – your mother does love you. So, so much but it’s in a different way now.’
Chrissa looked up at him and the expression on her face nearly slayed him.
‘I miss her,’ she said.
‘I know you do,’ he said, kissing the top of her head. ‘But you’ll always have me. I might not be much but I’m not going anywhere.’
‘Oh, Daddy!’ Lexi cried and the three of them hugged once more, their heads touching as the tears began again.
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