by Aleo, Toni
Her eyes start to fill with tears, and I have to look away. “It’s no one’s fault but his.”
“True, but we were awful to him, and he took it out on you. I’m sorry, my love,” Da says, cupping my shoulder. “We just want ya to be happy.”
“We do,” Ma says, bringing me into her arms, kissing my forehead. “You have stepped up, helped me left and right, and if that doesn’t show me how you’ve grown, I don’t know what can.”
“I do it for ya ’cause I love ya.”
“And I love you, my love,” she says as I tip my head back to look at her. “Yer unlike me. Ya know what ya want. You know how to get it. Ya don’t need me.”
“I’ll always need you, Ma.”
“No, ya don’t need anyone. Ya just want us, and anyone lucky enough to have ya love them is beyond blessed.”
“Exactly,” Declan adds.
“So now, I must meet this boy.”
“I think we all should,” Ma says, and for a second, we hold each other’s gaze.
“Really, Ma?” I ask, and she smiles, cupping my face as well as she can with her good hand.
“Do I like it? No. I want ya with someone of name. But will I let ya hurt ever again? No, and I’ve learned that you aren’t going to do anything ya don’t want to.”
I smile, and she taps my face, her face curving the best it can. I’ve respected my ma my whole life, but at that moment, she surprises me.
She accepts me—for me.
“Where in the world are my specs?”
I laugh as I move my cloth along the bar, cleaning up after a couple that has just left. Glancing down at Mickey and Trip, I shake my head as they argue.
“Ya had them!” Mickey yells, and Trip balks.
“No, I did not! I’ve been drinking!”
I roll my eyes as I take the plates to the sink. “They’re around your neck, Mickey.”
I have my back to them when Trip starts laughing. “Ah, fuck ya both.”
I chuckle before I nod to a group of guys who’ve called for another round. “Coming.”
“It says,” Mickey starts, and I wish these damn papers would catch on fire. “Jackson Tremblay comes from Canada, from a small, poor town outside of Calgary. He owns a horse, he cuts down trees…but, ladies, he is taken by the Whiskey Princess.’” Mickey adds a little flair to his words, and I laugh. “They are hot and heavy! Completely taken with each other, and during the All Children Eat banquet, the princess was heard saying she was already hearing wedding bells.”
“No shite, Jackson? Attaboy!”
I roll my eyes. “Bunch of bullshit.”
“Ah, so it isn’t true?” Mickey asks, looking over his glasses at me. “Ya don’t love the lass?”
“Even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you two,” I announce, loading up my tray and carrying it out to the table that ordered. The old guys may annoy me, along with the stupid papers, but the grin on my lips is firm.
Because Lena left it there.
To say the last couple of weeks have been utterly magical would be an understatement. When I wasn’t working, I was with Lena. And when we weren’t riding or going to the endless events her mom had planned for her, we were in bed. We burned those sheets. My body gets tight just thinking about her, but it’s more than that. Because I miss her. I miss her grin, I miss her touch, I miss her eyes, I miss it all.
She’s unbelievable.
But still, in the back of my mind, I can’t forget that our time is almost over. As much as it guts me, she has already told me she can’t leave until the spring. By then, I’ll be on my way to Norway. We haven’t spoken of any of it, and I feel at any moment, it’s going to blow up in our faces. Probably the day I leave. It’s killing me for the simple fact that I love her so fucking much. I haven’t told her because I think it will make it worse.
Plus, she hasn’t said it to me.
But I feel it.
I don’t know…she makes me crazy.
I swear she does.
And I can’t ruin what we have right now. I can’t.
“Christ! Ya space off, and then you call out all the time! Yer lucky you’re leaving in a couple weeks,” Fiona says, coming up from behind me, and I laugh as I refill Mickey’s beer.
“You’re gonna miss me.”
“Desperately,” she says, and I think she’s joking until I turn to glance at her. “Don’t go.”
I laugh. “I have to. I gotta go find somewhere else to pitch my tent.”
She rolls her eyes. “Feckin’ phanny.”
Everyone at the bar laughs as she opens the cash register, pulling out some money. Her ring sparkles in the light, and I grab her hand. “Jesus, how much did he spend on that thing!”
“Don’t ya worry yer head! It’s mine!” She sends me a grin as she takes it in. “It’s perfect.”
“About time, I tell ya,” Trip says. “I was gonna ask ya to marry me.”
“Please! Yer married, ya fool,” she laughs, and he sends her a grin. “Plus, ya couldn’t handle me, even in your younger days.”
“No one can,” Kane says then, shaking his head from the door that leads to the kitchen. “Now, come on. Yer ma’s waiting for us.”
She pats my shoulder. “Ya good, Jackson?”
I nod, waving her off. “I’m fine, bossy lady.”
She gives me a dirty look before heading toward Kane, but before she reaches him, the phone rings. She stops, answering it, and then rolls her eyes. “Then he has people calling here!”
I laugh as she holds the phone out to me. Taking it from her, I flash her a grin as she rolls her eyes again. Putting the phone to my ear, I say, “Hello?”
“Howya.”
I grin. “Hey, you.”
“Is this the unbelievable sexy Jackson Tremblay, who I was riding last night?”
“I don’t think there are any other Jackson Tremblays.”
She giggles over the line. “How are ya? How’s your day going?”
“Busy,” I answer, handing someone a menu. “How’s your mom?”
“She’s grand. She comes home tomorrow. Actually, that’s something to talk about.”
“Oh, really?” I ask, and then I cover the speaker. “Dude, I’ve told you nine times, I can’t change the TV. They don’t give me a remote!”
“Rubbish!”
“Yeah, yeah,” I mumble before uncovering the phone. “So she’s good, right?”
“Yeah, she’s fine, but she started to get on to me about you.”
“Told you I had to be out of the house when she came home.”
She laughs and I smile. I’m not surprised. “Well, yeah, but then Declan came to my rescue.”
“Did he now?” I glare at the dude hollering at the TV. “Please leave. I don’t give a shit!”
“Ah, ya arsehole Yank!”
“I’m Canadian!”
“I don’t know why ya yell with them. They’re crazy,” Lena says, and I sigh.
“It’s my pride. But listen, it’s packed in here. Can I come see you tonight?”
“Well, yes, my feelings would be hurt if ya didn’t.”
“Can’t let that happen.” I can just see her little grin.
“Grand, I’ll be in bed, waiting for ya.”
My brows pull together. “How am I going to get in?”
“You’re allowed to,” she says excitedly. “Which was what I was trying to tell you before the TV guy interrupted us.”
“Wait, what?”
“My ma is trying to accept us.”
“No shit,” I say, stopping mid-stride. “That’s good, right? Like real good?”
“Um, yeah! I’m beyond happy. I’ll tell ya all about it once ya get home.”
Home.
Fuck.
“I can’t wait to see you.”
“I can’t either,” she coos. “See ya soon.”
“Not soon enough.”
Hanging up, I let my head fall back as I let out a long breath. Figures I’m on my way out, and n
ow she can be with who she wants. Freely. Like she wants. Yet she can’t leave, and I’m not staying.
“She’s gonna miss ya,” Mickey calls to me. “When ya leave.”
I nod as I lean on the bar. “I’m going to miss her.”
“She still can’t go? Her ma isn’t well enough?” Trip asks, and I shake my head. I may have gotten drunk with these two and told them more than I wanted.
“Nope, not yet. They’re saying spring.”
Trip nods, patting my hand. “I’d wait.”
“Not that simple,” I say on an exhale.
“Not with what his da—”
“Hey, no,” I say, pointing to him. “We don’t speak about that shit, remember?”
Mickey smacks Trip, and I laugh while nodding to the new guy who has just walked in. I haven’t seen him before, but he seems to be well-known, smacking hands with the group of guys that were bitching about the TV.
Fuckers.
“Yer gonna break her wee heart,” Trip says, and my chest starts to ache.
“Ah, no, they can do long-distance. Me and my love did that way back when I used to work the boats.”
Trip holds his hand up. “Fair play. Do that!”
I shrug. “Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know if she would be okay with that.”
“Ask,” Mickey says.
“I think we’re ignoring that it’s happening.”
“Which is dumb.”
“Yeah,” I know, and I do. I’m not an idiot, but honestly, things are too good. I don’t want to ruin it.
“I vote ya just stay,” Trip says as Mickey grabs his glasses once more.
“Yous two are apparently the ‘it couple.’ What is an it couple?”
Trip thinks that over as I throw a cherry into my mouth. “Best couple, maybe?”
“Ah, no. Lena’s pretty, but Amberlyn does everything for everyone.”
“So does Lena,” I insist. “She donates loads of money to causes. I’ve watched her do it.”
“She doesn’t get dirty, though. Amberlyn gets dirty.”
“I’ve seen her get dirty,” I say with a wink, and both men about fall off their stools laughing. “I’m kidding, you old pervs.”
But they just laugh until they’re crying. Chuckling a bit, I go down to the end of the bar to bring the plate to the folks who had ordered some dinner. As I do my job, my mind floods with thoughts of Lena. Maybe I should try to suggest a long-distance kind of thing. We both have money. I can fly her in to me, or she can take a train. We can make it work. But then, what happens when she wants to settle down?
How do I settle down?
I don’t know if I can do that. I mean, I want to be married one day, maybe have some kids, but the thought of never leaving one spot freaks me out. Fuck. Why did I go back to her penthouse that night?
I knew. I fucking knew, but I couldn’t stop myself.
Lost in my thoughts as I move through the pub collecting the plates, I don’t see Fiona enter the room until I hear her. “What in the hell are you doing here?”
I look up, surprised by the shrillness of her voice as the pub falls silent. The table of my asshole TV fucks all look away except for the new guy. He’s staring at her as she glares at him. “Ya know ya aren’t welcome here.”
He stands then, pulling off his hat. “Ah, come on, Fiona. This is the only pub in town. I want to hang with my mates.”
“I don’t give two fucks!” she yells, coming out from behind the bar, her eyes a blazing blue-green as she strikes her hips. I’ve never seen her this mad, or even yell at anyone like this. Well, minus Kane. “The courts might trust ya, but I don’t for as far as I can throw ya. Get the fuck out of my pub.”
“Fiona, please. You aren’t even here! No one is here. Just me and my mates. I’m no bother, honest,” he pleads, but Fiona isn’t having it. I’m not sure what is about to go down, but something seems off.
Setting the plates down, I start to wipe my hands as Fiona glares. “Ya don’t get to shoot my cousin and enter our family pub. Out with ya. Don’t make me remove ya.”
My heart stops. But the jackass laughs. “Ya won’t touch me. Ya know better.”
“Oh, I won’t, but my bartender will.”
The guy looks back at me and laughs. “The Yank.”
“I’m fucking Canadian,” I reply. “What’s your name?”
He makes a face. “What, ya need my name to kick me out?”
“No, I need to know your name.”
His eyes are wild, and like Fiona said, I don’t trust him. He picks up his mug, downing the drink as my body shakes with anger. I’m pretty sure Amberlyn has only been shot by one person, and that person is the same one who raped Lena.
“Hey, Jackson, come here,” Fiona calls to me, which only makes me feel like I’m right in whom I assume this fucker is.
“It’s Casey, isn’t it?”
He slams his mug down. “Ah, fuck off, I’m leaving.”
“It’s Casey,” Fiona confirms.
He gives me a dry look, his eyes so defiant it makes me sick. “Yeah, what’s it to ya?”
“Kane! Declan!”
I hear Fiona, but I don’t see anything else but red as I stare this motherfucking asshole down.
“So, you know Lena O’Callaghan?”
Gone is the defiant grin, even the belligerent look in his eyes vanishes as he takes a step back. Clearing his throat, he moves to go around me, but I stop him. “I’m leaving, ya wanker.”
“I love her.”
“Good for ya,” he says, and I step in his way.
“And you hurt her.”
“It was a long time ago, mate. Leave me be.”
I don’t think I even hear him.
I don’t think I’m even in control of who I am.
Because the next thing I know, my fist is colliding with his nose.
Me heart’s been in my throat since I got off the phone with Amberlyn.
As I sit in the back of the town car, my knee is bouncing like mad while I watch my little town fly by through the window. I can’t believe I’m on my way to the jail. The last time I was there was after Amberlyn was shot. And the same person was there that day too.
Casey.
My chest hurts, and I’m having a hard time catching my breath. I don’t know what the hell happened or even why, but I need to know Jackson is okay. I wasn’t able to speak to him. He was getting tended to by the paramedics when Amberlyn called, which scares the living shite out of me. I just want to speak with him. Know he is fine.
When we pull up to the jail, I throw open the door before Tony stops. “Miss Lena.”
But I ignore him, rushing up the stairs that are connected to the station. Entering the building, I find everyone sitting out in the front. Fiona stands along with Declan as he says, “They’re in there. I don’t think—”
But I’m through the door before he even finishes his sentence. I see Jackson first, sitting with his arms behind his back and his head hanging low.
“Madam, ya can’t be in here right now.”
I hear the cop, I do, but my main focus is on Jackson. He looks up, his lips pressing together as I go to him. Dropping to my knees in front of him, I lean on his knees as I gaze up at him with clouded eyes. He has a jagged cut along his cheek, and I reach for his face. “Jacks, love, yer face?”
“Asshole broke a mug and cut me with it.”
“’Cause you sucker-punched me.”
His voice makes my skin crawl as I run my finger along Jackson’s cut. He winces, and my tears start to roll down my cheeks. “Are you okay?”
He shrugs, a little smile pulling at his lips. “Yeah, baby, I’m fine.”
“Ya gave me a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry, but now I can say I went to jail in Ireland.”
“Always with your stories,” I say as I rise to my feet, kissing his nose. Looking to the cop that is giving me a bored look, I point to Jackson. “I’d like to bail him out.”
; “Madam O’Callaghan, yer brother already did. We just have to process the paperwork.”
“Can you do that a bit faster? I want to take him home. He needs rest. Please.”
“I’m doing the best I can.”
“Why don’t ya offer him some bobs, Lena. Yer family’s good for that.”
I can hear it in Casey’s voice; he’s drunk.
“Don’t talk to her, you fucking dick,” Jackson seethes, but Casey just laughs.
“Look at you, Lena, getting some stupid American to throw punches for ya. How pathetic.”
“I told you not to talk to her.”
“You aren’t her keeper! She loved me before you, mate!”
I want so much to ignore him. My heart has stilled in my chest. I don’t want to look at him, give him anything, but I can’t control myself.
“Unfortunately.”
My gaze cuts to Casey. His face is black and blue, blood dripping from his lip. Jackson did a number on him, and while he deserved it, I hate seeing people hurt. Even if it is someone awful like Casey Burke. Walking toward him, I hear Jackson call my name, but I don’t stop until I’m close enough that Casey can’t look away.
Fear rattles me, but I refuse to look away.
He’s owned too much of me for too long.
“I wish I knew then what I know now, Casey Burke. That you are a piece of shite and unworthy of anyone’s love. I wish I had run the other way when you came for me. I wish I had never met ya.” Bending down, I hold his gaze as he looks at me lazily. I don’t know why I found him so irresistible back then. Now, he looks disgusting and lost. “I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for yer ma—”
“Don’t speak of my ma,” he growls, but I shake my head.
“I’ll do whatever I want ’cause I’m not the one in cuffs,” I say, standing tall as I look down on him. “You’ll never fill another thought in my head. You’ll never have anything of mine. You are nothing to me.”
“Which is fine by me, love. I never loved ya anyway.”
When his words don’t hurt, I can’t help but smile.
“Grand, ’cause if ya did, I think I’d have been worse off than I was. But no more.” He just stares up at me, and I hate that I wasted a part of my life on him. “Ya can’t hurt me, not anymore.”
