Chapter Seventeen
Serenity
There had been this moment when Graham went quiet after dropping this pretty serious bomb on me that I just sat here studying him. There was something in his face, a look I'd seen many times before. I knew it so well because it’s one I wear a lot. The difference between us though is that when it happens with me, I’m talking with a member of the dearly departed club and usually, no one is in the immediate vicinity.
I know the look so well, because in an effort to learn more about what I was suffering from I would spend hours watching myself. I’m as familiar with the expressions as I am my own name. So when I saw the look on Grahams face, I really believed there was more behind it.
It’s crazy because with as long as I've known him, he’s never once displayed abilities. We spent a lot of time together over the years I lived across from him and with as often as I sat just staring at him, I would’ve seen it. So as much as I believe what I’m seeing now, I also know it can't be true.
Normally my mind wouldn't let it go, but before I have a chance to even give it a second thought, he pulled me into his arms and everything I believed I saw evaporated as easily as it had manifested. All I could focus on was the way his arms felt wrapped around mine and the way my brain seemed to go wonky every time he ran his fingers down my arm.
All of my senses were heightened with the contact between us and I welcomed it with open arms. Despite the years spent apart, being with Graham in any way is second nature to me. The connection between us so powerful that with just a mere touch, I find myself craving more.
Things I hadn't paid attention to before are becoming more apparent. The scent of the candles Emma insisted on burning, the hint of jasmine strong throughout the tiny space. My body seems electrified where up until now it had been dormant. I could have sworn that every time his hand moved, I saw sparks ignite in the spot where his hand rested. My hearing is heightened as I heard the footsteps in the hall before I heard the knock that followed them. Being here with Graham this way seemed to magnify everything.
“You gonna get that?” he asks me, his arms remaining tightly wrapped around my small frame, his hands not stopping in their pursuit of the rub down on my skin. Getting the door is the last thing on my mind, but judging from the sound of the knock, it doesn't seem the person on the other side feels the same. It sounded urgent.
Sighing loudly, I pulled myself out of his arms, hit with a chill the minute I maneuvered from his warmth. I sluggishly made my way to the door, more than a little ready to give the person on the other side a piece of my mind.
Swinging the door open, I came face to face with the last person I expected to see. Considering Emma’s in class, the very class I’m now skipping out on, it shouldn't have come as such a shock to see him standing there, but it was.
“Ryan—Umm—Hey.”
“Hey. Do you have a sec?”
Great. How am I supposed to handle this?
Graham, still in his position on my bed, patiently waiting for me to come back meant that I didn't have the second Ryan wants with me, but the pull in my body seeing him standing there is extremely hard to ignore, making it impossible for me to answer.
It wasn't like I was afraid of Ryan seeing Graham in my room, but for whatever reason it still didn't feel quite right. As much as part of me wanted to tell Ryan that I had time for him, I knew it wasn't fair to the man that had come all this way to make amends with me. Sure, he said he was here for school, but I hoped at least a little, he had come for me too. I owed Graham the time he requested, which means I can’t give Ryan what he wants.
“Actually now isn't the best time, I've kind of got—”
I felt him before he spoke, but just knowing he’s standing behind me, his tall frame towering over mine made my cheeks heat up in a blush. God, this is definitely not the way I wanted things to happen. Looks like my idea of keeping Ryan and Graham apart is a gigantic fail.
“Hey, I'm Graham.”
I had to give it to Ryan, if he was bothered by the fact that there’s another guy in the room with me, he didn't show it. His face betrayed nothing and to be honest I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about it. After what happened yesterday, shouldn't there have been something more than a blank expression?
“Uh, hey man. I'm Ryan, a friend of Serenity’s.”
Watching in stunned silence, both men shook hands. If I wasn't witnessing it for myself I would have sworn I was stuck in a bad movie plot. Just what kind of alternate universe is this?
Graham looked between us. I could feel his eyes on me and I watched as they moved over to where Ryan stood. It’s obvious his mind is trying to sort out what kind of friend Ryan really is.
“Well feel free to come in, Ser Bear and I were just catching up anyway.”
If the blush from earlier vanished, it was back in full force now. If the situation wasn’t awkward enough Graham’s use of his nickname for me certainly helped it along.
“Nah, its fine. I'll let the two of you catch up. I can come back later.”
Ryan starts to turn away from the door and watching him, there’s a small part of me that ached to reach out and stop him. I know it’s wrong, given everything that Graham just confessed to me but I can’t help it. I’m drawn to him and just as much as he wanted to talk to me, I wanted to talk to him. There’s unfinished business between us.
“Actually man, you can stay now. I need to deal with some things at the Dean’s office anyway. So that will give the two of you a chance to hang out.”
Graham turned to me and with a quick kiss on my forehead and a whispered promise in my ear that he would see me later, he slid his way out of the room and before I knew it I heard his footsteps on the stairs and I was alone with Ryan.
“I didn't mean to run the guy off.” he says, his eyes also following Graham's retreating form as he made his way further away from us.
“You didn't.” I replied. “What did you need?”
Moving back from the door I motion for him to come inside and immediately shut the door behind him the second he’s in. Whatever is about to be said between the two of us most definitely doesn't need to be heard by the rest of the floor. I hadn't gotten around to telling Graham about Ryan and the last thing I want is for him to hear about it in the wrong way.
We may not be anything to each other anymore, at least in the romantic sense, but it wasn’t lost on me that admitting what he did means he’s not opposed to the idea. I’m not entirely sure where I stand on it either. This couldn’t have come at a worse time.
“I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday.”
“What about it?”
“Serenity, there’s something you need to know.”
Holding On To Heaven Page 32
