Blocked

by Jennifer Lane

  China’s naked body flashing in my mind killed my GD buzz, and I squirmed in my chair. Why did he have to bring this up at the dinner table, of all places? I was stressed out enough as it was. When I looked at him, he gave a slight nod, like he urged me to address the Republican elephant in the room.

  The eating disorder steals your voice, Dr. Valentine had told me. You need to express your needs to steal it back. Dane’s hand gently squeezed mine.

  I swallowed and faced Allison. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”

  She placed her half-eaten fajita on her plate.

  “I’m sorry you felt judged by my family…and scared about losing your job. Please, please, don’t worry about that. There are many Republicans who believe in equal rights for gay people, and I’m one of them.”

  The hardness in Allison’s eyes seemed to soften.

  China looked at Dane. “What’d you say to her?”

  “Nothing she didn’t already believe.” He shrugged, but his eyes smiled at me.

  “So you affect her like she affects you,” China said.

  “What?” Dane’s eyebrows drew together.

  She looked right at me. “You have such a way with him.”

  I retracted my neck.

  “It’s true. I told my supervisor about you and Dane.”

  “You did?” Allison asked.

  She did? I glanced at Dane, whose eyes had also opened wide.

  China blew out a breath. “My boss was chewing my ass after The Great Beer Escape. Epic security failure…Beergate! I thought for sure I was fired.”

  Dane clenched his fists. “They could’ve fired you for that?”

  “Yes,” Allison answered, her voice sharp.

  “I’m sorry.” Dane looked straight at China, then down at his lap. “I was an idiot.” His apology sounded truly contrite.

  “I still don’t know why you went all trench coat that day.” China paused, but Dane didn’t say anything, which made me wonder. What had caused him to get thrown out of practice and guzzle beer on national TV? “Anyway,” China continued, “my supervisor told me my methods clearly weren’t working. He said I needed to be less aggressive with the protectee.”

  Dane looked up. “I like this supervisor.”

  China shoved his shoulder. “When I had no fucking clue how to approach you differently, my supervisor asked if anyone else had more success at calming you down—at getting you to behave. And right away I thought of Lucia.”

  I gulped. Her spiky brown hair didn’t move an inch as she nodded at me.

  “You took his insults without slinging mud back at him. Unlike me, you didn’t fight back and make things worse.”

  If only she knew my lack of response was often more about being tongue-tied than turning the other cheek. I’d wished I could fight back in my bedroom minutes ago, although I suppose that situation turned out okay…I sighed. “Not always.”

  Dane’s hand found mine again, warm fingers intertwining with mine. “It’s not your fault.” His gaze traveled from me to China, then to his lap. “I bring out the worst in people.”

  His words pierced my heart. How could he believe that about himself? Even with the mistakes he’d made…I felt absolutely amazing around him—well, when I wasn’t comparing my body to his gorgeousness, anyway. He was a brilliant firecracker in a sky of dark clouds. His brightness had lit the way on my journey at Highbanks so far, and I wondered if I’d still be here without him.

  “Hey,” China said. “You’ve been a good challenge for me, Monroe.”

  Allison nodded. “And China sure enjoys challenges.”

  “Makes life interesting, that’s for sure.” China’s chair scooted across the tile as she stood. “I’m guessing you guys need to study, so Allie and I will do the dishes.”

  Dane looked up. “We’re being sent to our rooms to study by Mom…and Mom?”

  Holding two plates aloft, China cackled. “Lord, you as my son? I think your mother deserves to be president simply for surviving your childhood.”

  “But Governor Ramirez might have a chance too,” Allison chimed in as she carried a bowl to the counter. I was relieved to see her smirk in my direction.

  Dane came around behind my chair and rested his hands on my shoulders. “C’mon, Luz. We don’t want Moms to spank us for misbehaving.”

  I watched China’s wrist spin a dishtowel into a twisted weapon and felt Dane jump behind me when she snapped his butt with it.

  “Ow! Moooohhhhmmm.”

  I giggled as I stood and noticed him massaging his rear end. I’ll massage it for you. What would my dad say if he heard that?

  “Go to your room, young man!” China twirled the towel, her eyes blazing with faux menace.

  Dane pushed me out of the kitchen, and we laughed all the way to his bedroom. My smile faded once I entered the space. The sage-green walls and musky scent lent an earthy feel to the room, and psychology textbooks lined his shelf. Dane crossed over to his bed and yanked the duvet over messy sheets—a touching effort to tidy up for me. Then he flipped on some music.

  My heartbeat kicked up as he approached me. “Do you have any midterms tomorrow?”

  I shook my head. “I had two today.”

  “Ouch. I had one, and I thought that was bad enough. The damn professor scheduled it so I had to miss half of practice.”

  “That sucks.” I watched his shirt hike up as he scratched one hip, revealing a taut strip of muscle. I longed to see more. He spoke again but visions of rippled chest muscles, grooves and valleys of tight skin, clouded my brain. “Huh?”

  He stepped closer and curved his hand around my hip. “I asked if you needed to study tonight.”

  Focus! “Not really.” Of its own accord, my body leaned into his touch. “I mean, I could always study more, but nothing’s due tomorrow, so it can probably wait, I think…” I was babbling.

  “Good.” He tucked strands of hair behind my ear. “No way I could concentrate on school tonight. You’re way too distracting.”

  He leaned in and scorched me with a plunging kiss. I felt myself tilt backward, but his forearm supported my back and his other hand cradled my head. I was weightless, floating on the pulsing energy his lips pressed into my body.

  With apparently zero control over my hands, I felt one of them snake under his shirt and rub against the hard muscle of his ribcage. My fingers slid inward, gliding over his skin, marveling at the ridges of corded abs, and paused at the downy hair above the waistband of his workout pants. His sharp intake of air stilled his lips on mine. His entire body seemed to freeze, except for the part of him pressing against my belly, which made itself known with growing awareness. My lower body bloomed with heat, turning to mush compared to his hardness.

  At once, he steadied me on my feet and backed away. He exhaled. “I don’t want to mess this up.”

  Why, oh why did you stop? “I don’t either.”

  “We just had our first kiss—the first relatively peaceful discussion of our entire relationship—and here I am already, desperate to take you on my bed.”

  My girly bits tingled at the growl in his voice. “I want that, too.”

  Shock flashed across his face, matching the flip in my stomach as I said that out loud. What the hell am I doing?

  “Jesus, we’re so screwed.” He closed his eyes and lifted his face to the ceiling. Then those deep blues found me again. “I was counting on you to be the one holding the reins. I certainly don’t have any self-control.”

  My feet pulled me toward him—evidently I had even less control—though I knew he was smart to try to slow us down. Niggling voices from my family and my church fought to be heard, knocking on the door of my mind. I silenced the incessant noise by stepping in and pressing my lips against his neck. Dane groaned and kissed the top of my head, burying his mouth in my hair, as he gathered me into him.

  I tugged his collar down to expose his collarbone, soap mingling with the faint smell of grilled onion on his shirt, and kissed him in a
n alcove of skin and muscle.

  “Luz.” His voice sounded strained, like he was barely holding it together. “What about your father?”

  When I lifted my head and looked into his troubled eyes, I sighed. He was right, and I hated it. “Dad comes between us once again.”

  “Look, I want you—God, I want you…but this is too fast. When I meet your dad at the debate, he’ll kill me if his only daughter just jumped into bed with me.”

  I drew a hand to cover my mouth, horrified by that prospect.

  Dane let me go and backed up a few steps. “You know I’m right.”

  “Yes.” I gritted my teeth. It grew quiet between us, the only sound the strum of a guitar and the lead singer from Dane’s favorite band.

  “I yearn to touch you; you grasp for me

  Fumbling in the dark, craving ecstasy

  Your forbidden allure, a drunk man’s merlot

  Seizes hold of my will, inside me it grows…”

  He paced the room with palpable energy. Then he stopped. “Okay, I know what we should do. When I’m so hyper I can’t stand it, I go to the gym. Let’s go, okay? I’ve always wanted to set you.”

  I shook my head. “But the gym’s closed. It’s locked.”

  “China!” Dane opened the door and hollered her name again as he headed to the kitchen. He was back before the next song. “Frank’s taking us—he has a key, so go put on your sassy Spandex. Okay?”

  I smiled at his excitement. “Okay.” I left his room and headed to mine, noticing he was right behind me. “Um…” I looked over my shoulder. “I don’t think watching me undress will help the situation with my dad.”

  “Damn, you’re right.” He turned on his heel and left with a giant sigh.

  Five minutes later, Dane and I sat in the backseat with Frank driving. Brad drove the other SUV as a decoy vehicle—not that we really needed it. One advantage of stealth nighttime volleyball: no media! Another advantage of the dark vehicle: Dane’s hand stroking mine with Frank none the wiser.

  The main campus teemed with nightlife, and I watched students stream in and out of The Library bar. “Whoa, is this what college is really like?”

  Dane snorted. “For everyone except the athletes.”

  “And the underage students,” Frank piped up.

  Dane rolled his eyes. “And the hapless offspring of presidential candidates.”

  I squeezed his hand and smiled at him. I didn’t need the bar scene to have a good time at college. He was my good time.

  “Just one week left until the presidential debate,” a reporter said over the car radio. “And Governor Ramirez’s camp claims the selection of a liberal moderator like Molly Martins tips the scale unfairly for his opponent. Pollsters still report a virtual tie in the presidential race.”

  For a moment I wondered what Dane thought of the liberal-bias claim, but I tried to drown out all worries about the election. Instead, I focused on the feel of his hand in mine until we arrived.

  Once the buzzing lights of the gym flickered on, we discovered the coaches had left the net at women’s height. “Do you think I’ll get in trouble if Coach finds me here?”

  “No way.” Dane grabbed the cart of balls and wheeled it to one side of the net. “Extra practice for his players is like his wet dream.”

  Dane laughed at the disgust on my face. “C’mon, let’s warm up.”

  As Frank and Brad watched from the bleachers, we jogged around the court, shuffled side to side, sprinted, and stretched. I couldn’t take my eyes off Dane’s powerful body as we peppered. No matter how hard I spiked the ball, his sets were right on target. I wished I could say the same for my passes, but I wasn’t accustomed to the force of his hits.

  After Dane chased down a ball I’d shanked toward the bleachers, he looked up at our agents. “Hey, would you guys help out?”

  “Sure.” Brad removed his suit jacket and hustled to the gym floor, and Dane guided him to stand by the basket of balls. Frank followed at a slower pace, staring suspiciously at us, but he did walk to the other side of the net as Dane asked.

  I tugged at my kneepads as Dane nodded at me. “Ready?”

  Butterflies dive-bombed my stomach but I said, “Let’s see what you got.”

  His eyes glittered, and a smirk lifted a corner of his mouth. He nodded at Brad, who tossed a ball toward him. It was a low toss, but Dane got under the ball with ease and launched his set in an elegant arc to my corner of the net. My jaw unhinged as I marveled at its perfection, then before I knew it, the ball dribbled to the floor.

  “I thought you said you were ready.” Dane frowned at me.

  “How’d you do that?”

  “How’d I do what?”

  “You just set the most perfect ball I’ve ever seen, at a net lower than you’re used to, to a lefty hitter when all of your hitters are right-handed. How’d you do that?”

  His grin developed slowly, lazily spreading across his face. “You wanted to see what I got, sweetheart.” His hands gestured down the length of his body. “This is what I got.”

  I wanted to rip that shirt off him right then and there. My mouth felt dry, and I glanced at Frank to see if we were busted, but he simply looked bored. Maybe he’d chalked that ‘sweetheart’ comment up to Dane cockiness.

  “Let’s see what you got,” Dane taunted. As he nodded at Brad, I shook out my hands to expel their thrumming nervousness.

  The next set was an exact replication, and I slammed the ball down the line. Frank went to retrieve it. “Nice,” Dane said. “But I already know you’re a good hitter down the line. Let’s work cross-court tonight.”

  I took a deep breath and nodded. With magnificent sets like that, I could hit the ball anywhere he asked. Dane set me, and I watched with satisfaction as the ball careened across the court at a vicious angle.

  “That’s what I’m talking ’bout!”

  My heart soared to see his fist pump.

  I didn’t know how long he kept setting me, but I did know it was the time of my life. He arched his back to execute beautiful back-sets, and he timed his quick sets just right, practically handing me the ball as a gift to smash over the net. I bounced with glee when he wanted to practice the slide—my favorite. I lined up on the right side of the net, with him facing me. As Brad tossed the ball, I darted around behind Dane and jumped up for his back-set, which I dispatched like a heat-seeking missile. The run-around maneuver confused defenses, and it was a total blast flying through the air, waiting to pound his exquisitely placed set. I whooped as we high-fived.

  All at once, Dane paused. He turned to the wall behind Brad, and I followed his gaze to see his coach standing there, watching. “Hey, Phil.” Dane brushed his hand on his thigh. “How long have you been watching us?”

  “About five minutes,” Frank said from behind me.

  I nodded—of course Secret Service had noticed his entrance. I’d been too absorbed in Dane’s balls (hee hee) to be aware of much else.

  Phil turned to look at me, and I swallowed. I’d only spoken to him once, and he’d never seen me play. Had I performed like an amateur in his eyes?

  “Good hitting, Lucia.”

  His praise made my heart skip. “Thanks, Coach.”

  “A word, please, Dane.”

  Dane jogged over, and they spoke in hushed tones.

  “Hey.” Brad grinned at me, and I noticed his white button-down shirt sticking to him with sweat. “Try some jump serves. I want to see if I can field them.”

  Frank snorted. “It’s called passing, not fielding.”

  “You might want to remove your gun holster first,” I told Brad as I rolled the ball cart under the net so I could serve toward his side of the court.

  “No way!” He crouched down, looking ridiculous in his agent attire. “I need all the defense I can get.”

  What were Dane and Phil discussing? Whatever it was, it looked intense. I hoped I hadn’t overstepped my bounds. I grabbed a ball and took a deep breath as I backpedaled from
the baseline. I tossed the ball high, approached, then leaped and whacked the ball over the net. It whizzed to the floor before Brad got anywhere near it.

  “Day-um, Luce!” He stood with his hands on his hips. “That packed some heat!”

  I grinned. He was like an oversized child. But I also knew he would sacrifice his life to protect us—all of our agents would.

  After a few more serves, Phil walked away, leaving Dane to stare at me with an unreadable expression. He seemed…bewildered? I rolled the cart toward him, bending and scooping wayward balls into it as I went, and stopped in front of him. I looked over my shoulder and saw the agents gathering their suit jackets, out of hearing range.

  “Are you okay?”

  He blinked at me. “Yeah. Phil always gives me a lot to think about.”

  “Was he mad we were playing?”

  “No. He said he liked my ‘initiative’ to be here, since I missed part of practice.”

  I nodded and waited for him to continue.

  “He’s concerned about me, about my focus.” Dane rubbed his jaw. “He’s worried about the effects of our relationship.”

  I gasped. “Did you tell him?”

  “No, Luz.” His fingertips grazed my cheek. “He knew just by looking at us. Hell, I bet Frank knows—I bet they all know.”

  My skin tingled. Would my dad know, too? Alex? It was difficult to get a full breath. “So, does Phil…” I chewed on my lip. “Do you want…to end it?”

  “Are you crazy?” His eyes bugged. “I want to give this a shot.”

  I could breathe again.

  Chapter 22

  “THAT’S THE BEST PRACTICE I’ve ever seen from you.”

  I beamed like a giddy schoolgirl, which was saying something since it was the night before the final presidential debate, and things were feeling pretty serious. Phil wasn’t one to blow smoke up my ass—I knew if he praised me like that, he meant it. “Thanks.”

  We stood at the side of the court, watching Brian and Kara prepare the gym for the big women’s game: Highbanks vs. Bridgetown, the top two teams in the conference. Lucia was so nervous it had taken her two hours to fall asleep the previous evening. And I knew this because when she’d finally drifted off, she’d been in my arms. It had been one of the best nights of my life.