by Alex Grayson
She shakes her head and steps back.
“Please. Just to the window. You can keep it closed.” The pain I’m feeling at her refusal comes out in my voice.
She doesn’t move for several seconds, but then tentatively takes one step forward. My gut tightens when she stops again before moving forward another step. Three more steps has her only a couple feet away from the window, but it’s still not close enough. After a moment, she closes the distance between us. My hand’s still on the window, and I hope she puts hers back. I want that connection to her.
“Thank you,” I tell her softly.
She nods hesitantly.
“You look beautiful.”
She still doesn’t say anything. I want to hear her voice.
“How are you doing?” I ask, trying to draw out a response from her.
“I’m okay.”
I close my eyes and rest my head against the glass as her sweet voice comes over the line. It’s been too long since I’ve heard it. It’s my favorite sound to hear, even when it sounds sad. I lift my head back up.
Her answer is a lie. I know it is. She’s far from okay, but she won’t admit that to me.
“Olivia told me about the phone call and flowers you received. Have you heard from him again?”
I feel a rush of rage at the reminder that I wasn’t there when the bastard frightened her. I have to force my hand to loosen on the phone before I crush it. I try to hide my reaction, but I know my anger seeps through.
She lifts her hand and puts it back where mine is still pressed against the glass. I immediately feel my anger waning. She calms me.
“I miss you so fucking much, Beautiful.” My words come out husky.
“Asher,” she whispers brokenly, only adding to my pain.
“I’m sorry.” I’ve said it before, and I’ll continue to say it until she believes and forgives me.
“Please don’t,” she begs, her eyes filling with tears, breaking my heart all over again. She drops her eyes from mine and closes them tightly. When she opens them again, a new resolve has replaced the pain. “You need to leave.”
We both keep our hands on the glass, neither making the first move.
“I’ll leave, but I won’t be far away.” Her eyes narrow, and I know where her mind goes. Before she has a chance to rebuke me, I clarify. “In here,” I tell her, tapping the glass where her chest is only inches away. “I’ll always be in there. Just as you’ll always be in here.” Now I tap my chest. “The second you need me, I’ll be here.”
A tear escapes down her cheek. Using the hand that was on the glass, she furiously wipes it away. I instantly feel the loss of connection with her hand gone. I drop mine to my side and take a step back.
“I know you hate me. I know I’ve done things that are hard for you to accept, and with good reason. I know right now you don’t want to have anything to do with me.” I take another couple steps back, putting myself in the shadows. “But I will never give up on you. It’ll kill me, but I’ll wait until the end of time if that’s what it takes.” She gets smaller as I take a few more steps back. “And if it so happens that you can’t ever forgive me, I’ll live the rest of my life alone. You are the only woman that will ever have my heart. The only woman that will ever have my body. No one, Poppy. Just you.”
Her hand comes to her mouth at the same time I hear her muffled sob. I ignore the fierce pain it causes me.
“I love you. Distrust my actions, hate me for what I’ve done, but don’t ever doubt my love for you. It’s strong, and will forever belong to you.”
She puts her hand back to the window and almost flattens her body against the glass, like she wants to call me back. I don’t let it stop me from moving back, further into the darkness.
“I’ll be waiting,” I whisper, and pull the phone from my ear.
My body trembles as I turn and walk away from her. Every muscle in my body is demanding I turn around. My heart screams at me to go back, to yank open the window and take her in my arms whether she allows me to or not. I have no doubt I could have talked her into opening the window. My words got to her. I saw her resolve weakening, but I need her to come to me. I won’t force her to make a decision she may regret later. Once she accepts me back into her life, there will be no going back.
Once I have her, I’m never letting her go again.
Chapter Twenty
Poppy
I laugh at something Tony says, the muscles in my cheeks hurting from not laughing in so long. Me, Liv, and Tony are sitting at the table having dinner. Liv made a delicious homemade fettucine Alfredo dish. Both the noodles and sauce were made from scratch. Her cooking skills make me sick. It’s not that I can’t cook, but most of my meals come from a box, or already prepared. My mom tried teaching me her skills in the kitchen, but no matter how hard I tried, it always ended up burnt or it just didn’t taste right. I’ve learned to not even attempt it anymore, unless it’s something simple.
“I swear I thought I was going to die of embarrassment,” Liv says, fanning her red cheeks with her hand. “And then when the cop shined his flashlight on us, I accidently clamped down instead of pulling away.”
My mouth drops open while Liv winces and a look of pain crosses Tony’s face.
“I was so scared I did permanent damage,” she continues, grabbing Tony’s hand from the table. She looks at him with sympathy, but there’s mirth in her eyes that she can’t hide. “The poor cop didn’t know what to do. Tony screamed in pain and dropped to his knees. I scrambled over to him, my tits still hanging out of my shirt. The cop rushed over and tried examining Tony’s dick, but Tony kept growling at him to keep his hands off him.”
I’m laughing so hard, tears stream down my face. These tears I don’t mind. I’m actually grateful for them. I needed this laugh.
“I’m sorry,” I wheeze out when Tony glowers at me. Liv’s lips twitch as she tries to hold in her own laughter. Her face goes bright red, right before she doubles over, unable to keep it in, which makes my laugh become stronger.
“Anyway,” she says, drying her eyes, but still giggling. “I was so worried, I made him go to the hospital to get it checked out. All the nurses in the ward were trying to come in and get a peek. Of course, that’s where I stepped in and blocked the door. Wasn’t no horny nurses getting a peek at my man’s junk. Come to find out, no damage was done, but he did have a nasty bruise and bite marks on his dick for days afterward.”
Another round of laughs come from both me and Liv.
“Ha! Laugh it up,” Tony grumbles. He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest, pouting in the typical man fashion. “You’re lucky I let you anywhere near my dick now.”
“Aw, babe.” She pokes out her bottom lip once she gets control of herself. “You know you can’t keep it away from me. He would miss me too much.”
Tony quickly reaches up, snags Liv by the waist and drags her across to him, where she straddles his lap. “Damn straight,” he growls.
I turn away when they start devouring each other’s mouths. Jealousy is a bitch, and I hate that I feel it right now. Tony and Liv deserve to be as happy as they are. I’m happy for them, I just wish I could have the same thing.
You could if you’d get over your spat, my mind screams loudly at me.
I mentally zip and lock the lips on my inner voice.
A flash of a few nights ago comes to mind. I knew I missed Asher, but I didn’t realize how much until I saw him. My eyes ate him up as he came into view. I so badly wanted to open the window and drag him inside. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair, breathe in his intoxicating scent, feel his warmth wrap around me, and have him draw me into his arms and tell me everything is going to be okay. But I didn’t. I stood strong against my wants because I still haven’t gotten over what he did.
My heart broke even more at how he looked. He was haggard and so very tired. His eyes looked sad with bags, the bristle on his face showed he hadn’t shaved in days, and his chee
ks looked gaunt. The devastating appearance didn’t match the strong and confident man I knew. I wanted the old Asher back.
When he walked away after telling me he loved me the way he did, I again almost crumbled. My hand was reaching for the latch when he disappeared. When he left, he took every piece of my heart with him. I want my heart back, but I fear it’ll never be mine to have again. He’s claimed it for himself and has no intention of giving it back.
“Hello? Earth to Poppy?” Liv says, waving a hand in front of my face and breaking me from my thoughts.
I glance over to see she’s back in her chair with a flushed look. Her breathing seems to be rapid as well. Looking over at Tony, he doesn’t seem to be in much better condition. He’s no longer reclining back in his chair, but bent over with his elbows resting on his knees. I blush when I realize he has to be hiding his body’s reaction.
I jump up from my chair. “I uh… I’ll just go to my room.” I rush out and go to walk by the table.
“Wait,” Liv says, grabbing my arm. “Are you sure you won’t reconsider coming with us tonight? You don’t need to be stuck in this house, and I don’t feel comfortable leaving you here alone.” Her brows pinch down into a frown.
“No, you two go ahead. You’ve both been stuck here with me. Go have fun. I’ll be fine. Both Asher and Sam have men out there. Nothing will happen.”
She bites her lip and thinks for several seconds, before giving a hesitant nod. “Only if you’re sure…”
“I’m definitely sure.”
“Okay, but if you need anything, we’ll both have our phones on us.”
“Stop worrying. I’ll call if anything happens, but I don’t see how it can with so many people watching the house.” I lean down and kiss her cheek, then do the same to Tony. “Thank you for everything you both are doing. I hate that I’m burdening—”
I don’t get a chance to finish before Liv is standing and pulling me into her arms.
“Don’t ever think you’re a burden. You may not be my blood, but you’re still my sister.”
“Love you, Liv,” I tell her through a thick throat.
She pulls back and cups my face. “Love you, too.”
She releases me and Tony steps up, grabbing my shoulders. “We’re not doing this because it’s the right thing to do. We’re doing it because we love you, and you’re family.” He smiles and places a kiss on my forehead before stepping back.
Still amazed at my good fortune at finding these two, I walk back to the room I’ve been using. I’m glad that Liv and Tony are going out tonight. It’s a business function Tony’s known about for a while. They told me earlier they were going to cancel, but I told them if they did I’d kick them out of the house and lock all the doors. They need the time out. They went from having the house to themselves to having a roommate. It’ll do them good to get out and away from the unstable woman that’s taken over their home. Not to mention, I see the worry their faces have been carrying lately since I’ve been here. They need the opportunity to let go of their worries and relax.
I quietly close the door behind me and go straight to the bed. I’m tired. It’s already late afternoon, and I know I probably shouldn’t take a nap because it might keep me up tonight, but I don’t think my eyes will continue to stay open. Sleeping has become a rare occurrence for me.
Before setting my phone down on the nightstand, I check the display to see if I missed any calls or texts. My heart sinks when I don’t see any missed notifications. I haven’t heard from Asher since the night he came to see me. He has a single rose delivered to me every day, but there hasn’t been any other communication than that. At first I wasn’t sure how I would take him sending me the same rose as I got from the creep, but I found I still enjoy them. I’m glad he didn’t take that away from me.
I snuggle down into my pillow and close my eyes.
What feels like minutes later, someone shakes my shoulder. Groggily, I force my eyes open and look up into Liv’s. I sit up and rub my eyes and look around. I was asleep longer than I thought. Out the window, the sun has already set, putting the room into darkness, except for the little bit of light coming through the open door.
“What time is it?” I ask sleepily.
“Fifteen minutes till nine. Tony and I are heading out. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”
Liv steps back as I swing my legs to the side of the bed and get to my feet.
“I’m sure. Now go. I don’t want to see your face again until any time after midnight.”
I take her shoulder and give her a shove toward the door. She looks stunning in her shimmering midnight blue knee-length dress. The material is loose and hanging over one shoulder. The other shoulder is bare, except for a thin strap. Her feet are in a pair of sparkly dark blue strappy heels.
“You look beautiful, Liv! I told you that dress would look amazing on you.”
She looks down and smooths out nonexistent wrinkles. Looking up, she smiles brightly.
“I do look pretty good, don’t I?”
“So much so, I’m surprised Tony hasn’t locked you in your room.”
She laughs and turns on her heel. I follow behind her into the living room. “He’s already tried. I told him I’ll give him something special tonight if he let me out.”
“And I expect to collect.” Tony comes up and wraps an arm around her waist, kissing her lips briefly. He turns to me. “Don’t wait up,” he says to me with a wink.
I smile. He’s in a black tuxedo with his black hair smoothed back. He looks just as stunning as Liv. They make the perfect pair.
Liv grabs her small matching clutch, and I walk them to the door. After saying good-bye with a promise to call if something happens, I close and lock the door, then set the alarm. I go to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water. I lean back against the counter as I take several sips. The house is eerily quiet and it sends a shiver down my spine. I’ve gotten used to always having someone near. Maybe not in the same room, but there’s always someone in the house. I feel like a child again as I look around, checking for the boogeyman. Every little sound has me jumping.
Feeling stupid, I set my glass down in the sink and go back to my room. There’s no one here. No one can get in the house. I’m being stupid. I pull out some night clothes and go to the bathroom. I’m still extremely tired, so I decide on a shower and then back to bed for an early night. I could certainly use it.
Turning the dials until it reaches the right temperature, I pull off my clothes and slip my hair up into a high bun. The water feels good against my skin, so I stand under the spray and just let it wash over me. After several minutes, I soap up the loofa and scrub my body. Shaving comes next. Ten minutes later, I step from the shower, dry off, dress, and then go back to the room. I miss sleeping naked. My clothes always get tangled during the night. My body also tends to run hot, so I’m often waking up sweaty. But there’s no way I can sleep naked in someone else’s house. Not to mention I’m self-conscious about sleeping naked now anyway. I look over to the window to make sure the curtains are pulled closed. Although the thought of him watching me unawares is still creepy, a small fucked up part of me wishes he was. That would mean he was close by. I don’t know why, but I know I would feel safer if he were, because right now, I don’t feel safe.
I sit on the side of the bed and apply lotion to my legs and arms, before slipping underneath the cool sheets. The shower rejuvenated my energy, so I decide to read for a bit before calling it a night. I pull the kindle app up on my phone and find the book I started earlier today. Since I’ve stopped working at Silver Technologies and have nothing to do, I’ve picked up reading more. I know I need to start looking for another job, but I just haven’t had any motivation lately. I hate that I’m no longer at Asher’s company. I really liked the people I worked with and the work itself, but I know I can’t go back. I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing him every day. Liv tells me Asher’s been in a perpetual bad mood lately. She’s been assisting him in my
place. Jokingly, she’s begged me to come back to take him off her hands. She plays it off like she’s not serious, but I can tell she is. She hasn’t outright told me she thinks I should forgive him, but I know she wants me to. I can see it in her eyes every time his name is brought up, which isn’t often, because I always put a stop to it. It’s only a matter of time before she puts her foot down and makes me talk about it. I have no idea what I’m going to say when that time comes. I’m still so confused with my feelings for him.
A noise at my window has my head snapping up and ripping me from my thoughts. I stiffen as I strain my ears for the noise again, wondering if I’m going mad and just imagined it. I stay still for several minutes and hear nothing. I grit my teeth as I realize my mind must be playing tricks on me. This guy has my nerves on edge. I can’t even be in a house alone without freaking out.
I shake my head and bring my phone back to life, just as it pings an incoming message. My stomach tightens, hoping it’s from Asher. I desperately need it to be Asher.
Disappoint hits when it’s not his number, then fear takes over when I see it’s from a private number. It’s him. My tormentor. I can barely get my hands to work, they’re shaking so bad as I pull open the message.
It’s a picture. It’s so small I have to make it bigger to see it. Once I do, distress has my entire body quivering. It’s still hard to see, but I can tell it’s of Asher standing at my window at home, watching me.
Another picture pops up of me outside, sitting on my back porch. Then another comes through of me sitting outside underneath the tree at the park, feeding the ducks. I go lightheaded when another appears of me sitting on my bed with my phone to my ear. From the look on my face, I know I’m on the phone with Asher. My heart slams in my chest, and I feel bile rise in my throat as another shows me and Asher walking hand in hand down the strip in Dallas. This crazy person followed us all the way to Dallas? Another is of Asher at my window. It’s a side view with me standing in front of Asher with my fingers in my mouth. I’m naked.
