by Olivia West
Though she was a little nervous about it, Hannah did want to improve and not let Francis down. She never wanted to let Francis down.
So, she followed him onto the ice. They skated like before, getting warmed up and used to the feeling of being on ice. Though being off the ice felt weirder for Hannah. There was nothing more comforting than feeling the rush of icy wind as she circled the rink… her very own indoor winter wonderland that only the most privileged got to experience.
Like before, they started with a single, then upgraded to a double. Then, before she knew it, it was time to try the triple.
Her heart pounded as he put steadying hands on her waist. “Here we go…” he murmured as they glided in perfect synchronization.
Her palms were sweaty despite the freezing temperature of the rink, but she still continued to prepare for the move.
Then he lifted her up, and threw.
Her body didn’t leave the ice right. She wasn’t sure how, but it felt different from the usual times they practiced. Maybe it was nerves, she didn’t know.
A pang of shock ran through her body, sending her into a panic.
Her feet found themselves tangled together, and her body felt too heavy to move. She tried sending herself into a spin, but it didn’t work. Her arms flailed wildly. She couldn’t spot properly. She was falling… falling… No! she screamed furiously in her thoughts as she hurtled towards the ice dangerously.
Then there was nothing but pain, and the world turned to black.
***
Hannah lay on her back, staring up at the vast ceiling of the skating rink, feeling cold spread throughout the upper half of her body. Why am I lying here? She thought. I’d better get up. But when she tried to move her legs, a shot of pain traveled through her.
“Ah-ouch!” She winced.
“Hannah? HANNAH!” She became aware of Francis at her side, kneeling, touching her arm. She turned her head slightly to look at him with wide, unblinking eyes. Everything felt so surreal.
Though she didn’t know it at the time, Hannah was in a state of shock. Her body seized up as shudders ran through her.
“Francis? What’s wrong?” Erica’s voice rang out across the rink. She had just arrived at the rink at the regularly scheduled practice time. She had seen Francis crouching over Hannah, and was immediately on high alert.
“Hannah’s hurt!” Francis yelled back. He watched as Erica walked onto the ice with her sneakers. There was no time to borrow skates, and she was incredibly worried about Hannah. She walked, but really more like slid unsteadily across the ice towards the two.
“What happened?! Is it serious?!” Erica had focused all her time and energy into training Hannah, and didn’t believe that Hannah could fall this badly without special circumstances. Hannah was a careful person, who always knew what her limits were, and knew when she was going too far. How could this have happened?
“E-Erica…?” Hannah muttered as Erica’s worried face came into her view.
“You just hold on, Hannah… I’m going to call an ambulance!” Erica pulled out her smartphone and dialed 9-1-1. She stood and stared at Hannah’s twisted body, with one leg at an odd angle. It was clearly broken, and possibly worse. “Damn it…” Erica cursed under her breath as her phone rang. “Hello? I need an ambulance!” she said as soon as an operator picked up.
Francis listened to Erica give the operator the details. He kneeled down and realized that the best course of action was to wait for the ambulance but keep Hannah warm. He grabbed his coat to cover her and held her hand tightly as they waited.
Minutes later, the roar of the ambulance could be heard. Paramedics poured into the rink, pushing a stretcher. “It’s a good thing we were nearby, thanks to that false alarm,” one of the paramedics said to the other. “It looks like a bad break. Lift her onto the stretcher on the count of three. One… two… three!”
The two men lifted her slim body onto the pure white stretcher.
“We’re going to go to Hope Hospital. We can’t let you ride in the ambulance, but you’re welcome to come see her after the doctor’s diagnosis and possible surgery,” the second paramedic explained to Francis and Erica, who nodded in understanding.
Hannah looked up from the stretcher. “SURGERY? But I have figure skating practice!”
“Well, it looks like you’re going to have to skip practice today, miss,” one of the paramedics said.
“Francis, we should go to the hospital immediately,” Erica said.
“Agreed.”
Francis and Erica watched as the paramedics wheeled Hannah out onto the ambulance. Minutes later, they drove away, sirens blaring. Erica and Francis followed, both of them hoping that Hannah would be alright, but both for slightly selfish reasons.
Chapter 3
Everything was blindingly white when Hannah opened her eyes.
Where am I? she wondered as her vision cleared, and realized that she was in a room of sorts, with a beeping sound that was somewhat calming. Hannah looked towards her right, and saw an IV bag. Hospital… Then she remembered the accident. My leg!
Hannah tried to lift her leg but realized it was much heavier than usual. “Ugh…” She groaned as she attempted to lift her head to see why. Her leg was completely covered with a thick white cast, which prevented her from moving much.
“Oh, Hannah, you’re awake!” Erica, who had fallen into a light sleep while waiting for Hannah to awake, was alerted by her groan. Erica stood up and rushed to Hannah’s side, examining her. “How are you feeling? The morphine should dull the pain.”
“E-Erica…” Hannah smiled weakly, appreciative that her coach had stayed. “Where’s… Francis?”
“He’s just getting a snack. He should be back soon…” Erica looked towards the door, which promptly opened. “Speak of the devil!”
“Hey, Hannah, you’re awake!” Francis said as he held out a pack of chips from the vending machine. “Feeling hungry?”
Just before Hannah could answer, the door swung open again, and a man in a sweeping, long white coat entered the room. “Ah, Ms. Avery, I’m glad to see you’re awake. I’m your doctor, Dr. James.”
Hannah sat up as best as she could. “Do you have good news, Dr. James?”
“Well, I’ll put this as gently as I can, Hannah. Your leg was broken very badly. It was at an awkward angle when you fell, and while it is stable now, it will take a long time to heal. And even if it does… At this stage, it’s impossible for us to determine if you will be able to skate the same as before. And… there is a possibility that you may not ever be able to skate again, if it doesn’t heal correctly.”
Hannah felt like she had fallen all over again. That image that she first had of the ice rink when she was six years old – the nothingness that she thought was going to swallow her whole – just came true.
“N-never skate again?” she repeated, feeling like her heart had dropped into the pit of her stomach and into the nothingness with the rest of her body.
Erica looked completely appalled. “How is this possible? She’s one of my best skaters! We have a competition soon that we’ve been practicing so hard for!”
“There’s nothing we can do about it, except pray for the best. If she tries any strenuous activity too soon, it may jeopardize her leg properly healing. And we can’t have that.” The doctor took another look at Hannah’s charts. “I’m sorry, Ms. Avery.”
Hannah’s eyes were wide open, and she couldn’t think. If she never skated again… What else could she do? Skating had been her whole life since she had been a child. There was nothing she wanted more than to skate for the rest of her life.
“I’ll let you have some time to yourself,” Dr. James said, realizing that she probably needed time to process the devastating information that he had just given her. “I’ll come check on you in the evening.” The doctor left the room, leaving Hannah alone with Erica and Francis.
Francis still hadn’t talked, and was looking like he was lost in thought. Abou
t what, Hannah didn’t know. “We should probably give Hannah some space, Francis. Her parents will be here soon anyway.” Erica shook him back to the present. “We’ll come back later, Hannah. Get some rest.” Erica squeezed Hannah’s hand gently.
“Thank you, Coach. See you soon.” Hannah waited until they had gone before collapsing onto her pillow. “Damn it…” She glared at her leg. “Why did I ever agree to try that move in the first place?” She couldn’t help feeling like it was all Francis’ fault that the accident happened. Not that she blamed him completely, because it was her own choice to take to the ice and attempt the move with him, but she was angry that he had the audacity to look like she had let him down on her own.
She looked up at the ceiling, trying not to think about her future. It loomed over her now, scary, and uncertain. Hannah’s heart pounded as she took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. She decided that at this point, getting some rest would be the best option, though she couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her heavy cheeks.
Hannah blocked all the negative thoughts and instead replayed classical music in her head, songs that she had used for practices for previous competitions, for they always calmed her down. And before long, she was drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep.
***
Hannah awoke in the afternoon feeling groggy, but better than the night before. She propped herself up, suddenly aware that her stomach was growling. She hadn’t eaten anything in a while, and wondered when she would be getting food next.
Looking to her right, she discovered a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear. And a card. Who’s this from? she wondered with a smile as she picked up the card. As she scanned it, she realized it was from Anya. She’s so sweet, Hannah thought with a smile. She felt blessed to have such a great friend in her life.
She continued to read the card, but her head snapped up when the door opened. “Anya?” Was she still around?
“Nope, just me.” Francis stepped into the room with a look on his face that was like a hesitant smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Better than yesterday, that’s for sure. Just… worried about my leg, I guess. I miss skating already, and it’s only been a day… I can’t even imagine how tough the next months are going to be.” She put a smile on her face, determined to remain positive. She had decided that there was no use thinking about worst-case scenarios. “I’m really wishing to heal quickly. I can’t wait to get back onto the ice.”
“Actually, Hannah, skating is what I wanted to talk to you about,” Francis sighed as he sat down on the side of her bed and gazed into her eyes.
“Yeah, sure, what’s up?”
“I’ve been giving this a lot of thought, and…” He trailed off, leaving a concerned look on Hannah’s face.
“Francis, what? What’s wrong?”
“I can’t be your partner.”
Hannah’s face turned into one of relief, and she awkwardly laughed. “You mean for Snowball, right? Since my leg’s hurt? Well, yeah, of course! You don’t have to be so dramatic about it. Once I heal, we’ll be back on track for the rest of the competitions in no time!”
“No, Hannah, I can’t be your partner for anything, from this point on.”
There was a pause.
“Francis… Come on, this isn’t funny.” Bewilderment showed clearly on her face.
He sighed heavily. “I’m serious, Hannah. It’s just… hearing the doctor talking about how you might never skate again, or how you’ll never be the same… I don’t think you’ll be as strong a partner for me, and I need to move on, Hannah. I can’t wait around for the possibility that you’ll be fully healed. I have a lot of ambition, and I need to be moving forwards.”
“Ambition? So do I, Francis! It was just a mistake that I fell on that throw. But I know I can do better! Once I heal—”
“No, Hannah, I’ve made up my mind. I can’t wait for you to heal. I need to keep practicing, and improving. Time is of the essence. Please, understand.”
“Yeah, I understand perfectly.” Hannah’s tone turned icy now, as she glared at him. They had been partners for so long, and she had considered them good friends. Now his true colors were showing. She knew that she could train until she was as good as she had been before. It just would take some time.
But Francis’ drive wouldn’t allow him to stop. “I’m really sorry, Hannah. But I just can’t see another way for me. Snowball and other competitions are coming up soon and…” He didn’t want to say it, but was thinking that if she couldn’t do a triple axel throw, he needed a partner who could.
The thought had already come to her, and she struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to surface. “Well, I can’t stop you, Francis.” She knew that no matter what she said, she wouldn’t be able to change his mind. He was just too damn stubborn.
He was beginning to feel slightly guilty, though he had already convinced himself the night before that this was for the best. He had himself to think about. Swallowing nervously, Francis ran a hand through his cropped hair. “I’m sorry.”
“Leave.” She took a deep breath as she lay back onto the pillow, closing her eyes. “And don’t come back.”
Without another word, Francis got up. Hannah felt the pressure from his side of the bed disappear, and after the door clicked shut, she let go.
Tears streamed down her face, as sobs wracked through her body. Her future had been taken away from her, in an instant, and because of one move. One mistake. I never should have agreed to try the throw. Never. She hated that aspect of herself, the one that wanted to please everyone.
“Damn it, how did things end up like this?” She had devoted her whole life to skating. The reality that she might never skate again was really sinking in now, and she couldn’t help but cry, as she felt so completely lost.
The door slid open again, and Hannah yelped as she drew the covers over her body. “Go away, Francis, didn’t I tell you I never wanted to see you again?” She didn’t want anyone seeing her like this, weak and tearful. Especially not him.
“Han? It’s just me!” Anya hurried to Hannah’s bed, and put a hand on the bundle of blanket. “Are you okay?”
Anya gently pulled back the blanket and her brow furrowed as she looked into the tear-filled eyes of her best friend. “Han…” she murmured quietly. She didn’t ask what had happened, or why Hannah was crying. She simply reached down and hugged Hannah. “Cry it all out, sweetie. Just let it all out…”
Chapter 4
The doctors said Hannah was recovering remarkably, better than they had ever predicted. They delivered this happy news to her a week after she had entered the hospital, which only cheered her up a little. She would be discharged in a matter of days, and the doctors expected her to make a good recovery, if not full.
Though she was glad that she would ultimately be able to skate again after her leg healed, she knew that even if she were completely healed, she would have no partner, and no coach. But the reality of being able to skate made her feel much better.
As Hannah ate her hospital breakfast, which really wasn’t as bad as all the rumors made it out to be, the door to her room slid open, revealing Anya, who had a big smile plastered on her face. “Morning, Han!”
“Morning, Anya. What’s got you so happy?” Hannah smiled as she took in Anya’s sleek business dress that clung to every part of her body, showing off her slim figure. She had no idea how Anya managed to find time to exercise so vigorously while still getting all her work done.
“Well… I have some good news for you! So you know how… you broke your leg?” Anya started with a joke, making Hannah laugh.
“How can I forget?”
“Well, you might as well earn some money while you rest that leg, and since I don’t want you moping around your apartment all day missing skating, I found something to keep your mind off it.” Anya took a breath for dramatic effect. “I got you a job!” she finally announced, her face all smiles.
Hannah’s eyebrows raised
in surprise. “Really? As what?”
“As a temp for my law firm!” Anya grinned. “It’s the perfect job for you.”
“I don’t know if I could do a good job, though…” Hannah murmured. She practically knew nothing about law.
“Han, seriously, you’d be great. Plus we really need the help. Three of our paralegals just left. Two poached, one with family issues. You have a degree in writing, and you took like six months of pre-law.” Anya picked up a piece of orange from Hannah’s tray. Knowing Hannah didn’t like them, she popped it into her mouth.
“Only six months before I decided figure skating would be a better choice!”
