by Jill Shalvis
In fact, she was pretty sure it wasn’t the cold at all, but him.
“Breathe,” he murmured into her hair, rubbing soothing light circles on her back. “Breathe deeper.”
She absorbed his calm, his strength, and best of all his heat, and after a few minutes, her jaw relaxed, and her teeth stopped chattering. Finally, the rest of her stopped shaking.
Harley woke up some time later, lying on top of TJ. If she pressed her knees into the ground on either side of his hips and pushed herself upright, she could ride him like a pony.
Yep, definitely out of her comfort zone. Her legs were entwined in his and her face was plastered to the crook of his neck. She didn’t have to wonder if he was awake because his hands were slowly caressing her back, holding her in all that wonderful body heat of his.
Or maybe that was her heat. She certainly felt…heated.
“I know you’re awake,” he said. “You stopped breathing.”
She still didn’t move, incredibly aware of her hands braced on his chest for leverage, the muscles hard beneath her palms, his heart beating steady and sure beneath her fingertips.
Unlike hers, which was racing.
When he spoke, she felt the rumble of his voice, even deeper and huskier than normal. “We’ve played this your way,” he said. “I didn’t like it. My turn now.”
Oh boy.
Cupping the nape of her neck, he urged her head up. His other hand slid down low, to the very small of her back, holding her in place for his kiss. At the first touch of his mouth on hers, her bones completely dissolved, and that was it, she was his for the taking.
Please take me…
She already knew that getting kissed by him was a full-body experience, but she hadn’t expected to be rendered a quivering mass of lust before his tongue even touched hers—a huge miscalculation on her part because she knew, dammit she knew he kissed like heaven on earth. She braced for the onslaught of erotic, sensual heat, but when he lightly ran his tongue over the seam of her lips, she opened to him, softening in his arms, letting out a low moan. A sound he apparently took for acquiescence because he tightened his hold on her and deepened the kiss. Giving herself up to it, she sank her fingers into his hair, holding his head to hers as they devoured each other.
When he finally drew back and looked at her, there was warmth in his eyes and a smile on his face that promised all sorts of wicked things if she only said the word. And suddenly she became incredibly aware of how little she wore, how her nipples were boring holes in his chest, how his arm was low around her back, his palm sliding across her ass, skimming the thin silk of her panties.
Yeah, there was a word right on the tip of her tongue, and that word was yes! Her hands ran over his shoulders and down his sides—
That’s when she remembered. She’d wanted passion in her life, but she’d planned on finding it with Nolan. Sweet, gentle, kind Nolan, who would remember their lovemaking, once they had it. “Crap.”
TJ pulled back a fraction, all sleepy and sexy-eyed. “That’s not the reaction I usually get.”
“I’m thinking of Nolan.”
TJ’s hands went still. “My kiss made you think of another man?”
She winced at the warning in his tone. “No, your kiss melted my bones.”
“Like the sound of that,” he murmured, rocking his hips against hers. Hers responded in kind before she stopped herself. Dammit. She rolled off the glorious mountain of heat to her side, which was as far as she could get in the sleeping bag, roomy and cushy as it was. Outside, it was still very dark, which was a good thing. She wasn’t ready to see him.
“You’re not with him,” he said, tucking one arm beneath his head, resting his other hand on his belly. “Two dates—and one of them not counting—doesn’t make anything exclusive.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that? And how in the hell does everyone know we had two dates and that one of them didn’t count?”
“Wishful is Mayberry, remember? Everyone knows everything.” He rolled to face her, propping up his head with his hand, the other settling on her hip. “You had to save his ass when he should be saving yours.”
“And what does that mean?”
“Nothing.” He paused, then ran the tips of his fingers lightly up her spine. And damn if she didn’t melt all over again. “You really think of him as your boyfriend?”
She wanted to nod but she didn’t. Because the truth was, she liked the idea of Nolan being her boyfriend, but somehow it never seemed to materialize.
And she didn’t know why.
TJ brushed a soft kiss to her temple before trailing more of those soft kisses along her jaw, and without thinking, her body arched to give him better access, which she abruptly stopped when she felt his smile against her skin. Damn him! “TJ—”
“Uh huh…” he murmured, making his way back to her mouth while his fingers slid across her belly. Goose bumps erupted on her skin. Then those fingers headed north, just grazing over her silk-covered breasts as his thigh slipped between hers.
He caught her gasp with his mouth, and the kiss went hard and demanding again, until finally they ripped apart, breathless. TJ looked down at her, his eyes dark and filled with hunger. “Tell me you’re happy with him and we stop this right now.”
“I’m…” She struggled for the words that would make her a big, fat, turned-on liar.
With shocking patience, TJ waited her out.
“I want to say yes so bad,” she finally whispered. “But it’s the ‘with him’ part that’s holding me up.”
“Because…?”
“Because I’m not with him, am I? Plus, I just had my tongue down your throat.” She shook her head. “Oh, God, this is bad. Very, very bad.”
She saw his white teeth flash in the dark as he leaned in close. “Can I kiss you now,” he asked huskily, “or is there any other guy in your head we need to discuss?”
At the thought of another mind-blowing kiss, her brain voluntarily shut down, giving her body tacit permission to take over. “Well, there’s Brad Pitt,” she murmured. “And—”
“Shut up, Harley.” He nipped her lower lip.
“Shutting up,” she murmured just as his tongue touched hers, and she began a slow and delicious repeat of the insta-melt thing. His hands slid up her body, and she crawled all over him again, but then he froze.
“TJ?”
He tightened his grip on her hips for a beat, indicating that she should stay as still as he. “Did you hear that?”
She hadn’t heard anything but the blood rushing in her ears. “No, I—” Suddenly he slid soundlessly out of the sleeping bag.
Breathless, she ate up the sight of him by starlight, his hair tousled, jaw rough and in need of a shave, his chest bare, his boxers disturbingly low on his hips, his—“Oh my God. You can’t go anywhere like that!”
Unconcerned, he moved to his backpack and pulled out…
His knife.
Then he slid into his jeans, pointed at her to stay, and vanished.
CHAPTER 10
Harley clutched TJ’s sleeping bag to her body and strained her ears, but she could hear nothing. Well, nothing except the light wind, the occasional cry of a bird, and…crunching pine needles beneath someone’s feet. “TJ?” she whispered, thinking oh please let it be TJ.
“Just me.” He came out of the woods in nothing but those still unbuttoned, low-slung Levi’s, hair a little wild—from her fingers, she realized with a bit of a shock—eyes cool and calm as they took in their surroundings. “I thought I heard someone, but I didn’t see anything.” He appeared to be at ease, but on second look, she could see that was an illusion, because in truth he was battle ready.
And she? She wanted to lick him from sternum to belly button and beyond, thank you very much. She realized she had other issues to be concerned with, but holy smokes.
Standing there by moonlight, he was all raw, sexual, barely contained power, and she felt a little ping in the region of her gut, another
in her heart, and a third in a place where no one had given her a ping in a long time.
Including Nolan.
TJ dropped more wood on the simmering fire, then crouched at her side, all powerfully toned and tanned. He reached out and put a finger under her chin to close her mouth, which had been hanging open. “You’re giving me ideas,” he said very softly.
She slammed her mouth and her eyes shut.
“Are you warm enough now?” he asked, sounding amused.
Sure. If sweating in unusual places counted. She nodded jerkily and felt him rise. She opened her eyes and saw him go for her sleeping bag.
Wait a minute. “You’re…going to sleep over there?” she asked.
He stopped and met her gaze across the fire. “Your choice.”
She opened her mouth to say he should absolutely stay waaaay over there, maybe even move to the next ridge, but all that came out of her was expelled air.
He came back, once again hunkering at her side. His movements were slow, easy, and entirely uninhibited.
And God help her, she wanted to be uninhibited, too. He cradled her face in one of his hands, ran the pad of his thumb over her lower lip. “I’m going to need more of a sign, Harley.”
Dammit. Couldn’t he just be a he-man and take the choice away from her? She realized that the thought set women back a few hundred years, but she didn’t know if she could verbalize the truth.
And that truth was that she wanted him against her. In her.
He pulled back his hand, but he remained crouched at her side, patient and calm. And with the firelight flickering over his bare chest and shoulders, unintentionally sensual as hell.
She felt fluttery and trembly. Being with him always made her fluttery, but the trembling thing was new.
This was more than a crush. Which meant that she was in way over her head. She knew this. But did she put up the white flag? Did she call the cavalry? Did she run like hell?
No.
Even knowing that despite trying to keep her distance, he’d gotten hold of her heart, even knowing that she couldn’t entirely trust him to be careful with it, she lifted the edge of the sleeping bag in a clear invite. “For warmth only.”
His lips curled into just a hint of a smile as he slid in. He leaned over her and kissed her softly, just a warm, gentle press of his lips that registered shockingly high on the intensity scale for having no tongue involved.
She shivered and found herself clinging to him. Good. Great way of keeping her cool.
He met her gaze, then closed his eyes and flipped her away from him. She had no idea if the emotion that rushed through her was relief or disappointment.
“For warmth,” he said in her ear, pulling her back against his chest, spooning her. Her back was immediately infused with warm, sexy male, and she had to bite her lip to hold her moan in. One of his arms rested loosely on her hip, the other crooked up and behind his head, his elbow her pillow.
In spite of herself, she felt a shiver of sheer lust race through her and she squirmed.
“What was that?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t say anything.”
“No, you wriggled your ass against my—”
“I did not!” But she did it again, a completely involuntary movement that she couldn’t control.
“Harley.” He sounded a little rough. “You’ve got to stop moving, or—”
“You’re too close!” Stop moving or what? a very bad part of her wanted to know.
“Keep rocking your hips and I’ll show you just how close I can get.”
She inhaled and went as still, caught between wanting him to follow through on that threat and wanting to run screaming into the night.
After a long silence, during which time she held herself so rigid she couldn’t even breathe, he sighed. “Relax. You know I’m not going to jump you.”
Yeah, that wasn’t what she was worried about. She was worried she’d jump him.
“Go to sleep,” he commanded softly in her ear.
Uh huh, like that was going to be possible with his delicious warmth and sexy bod cradling hers! She wasn’t the only one affected if the rigid length poking her butt was any indication. “TJ, you’re—”
“Ignore it. I’m trying to.”
She snorted, and the hand lightly gripping her hip tightened. “You’re laughing at me.”
“A little. It’s just that you’re usually the one so in control.”
“And you are?” he countered. “In control? Unmoved by the proximity?”
“Completely.” She went still, waiting to be struck by lightning for the lie.
“Really.” His fingers skimmed her belly; slowly, achingly slowly, stroking up and down, not quite reaching her bra or the edging of her panties, but coming close enough that she was breathing again. Or more correctly, panting.
Her nipples were hard. Between her thighs, she was damp.
“You’re completely unmoved,” he repeated.
She bit her tongue rather than lie.
“It’s easy enough to check,” he said in a raspy, sexy voice, his fingers just barely slipping beneath her panties, heading south.
With a squeak, she caught his wrist. “Okay, I’m not unmoved!” She threw his hand off her. “But it’s not you. It’s that I’ve not—it’s been a long time.”
“How long?”
“Long.”
At that, the bastard chuckled.
She rolled her eyes, not that he could see her. “Go to sleep!”
“I’ll try, but if you crawl all over me again, all bets are off.”
“I won’t crawl all over you!” She hoped. She lay there for a long time.
“Harley?” His voice was husky low, as if he’d nearly drifted off.
“Yeah?”
“You think about me?”
“All the time,” she murmured without missing a beat.
All the time? She wrestled with second thoughts over that little tidbit for a few minutes until he pressed his hot mouth against the nape of her neck. “Brad?” she murmured. “Brad Pitt, is that you?”
He gave a soft laugh. “I could make you pay for that.”
Who was he kidding, she’d willingly pay for that.
“Why are you still awake?” he asked.
“Why are you?” she countered.
When he spoke, his voice was soft. “I keep going over it in my head.”
“I’m not going to admit I’m not unmoved again, TJ,” she quipped, pretending to misunderstand him, trying to keep it light. And talking about what had happened that long ago night at Long Lake wouldn’t be light. Not for her. “That was a onetime confession. A gift.”
“Not that.” He wasn’t playing. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so damn sorry for that night. If I could take it back, if I could grovel for forgiveness…” He paused, and she heard him swallow hard. “I can’t get it out of my head, what it must have been like for you. Your first time. With a drunken idiot.” He hugged her in a little closer, pressing his face into her hair. “In a fucking open truck bed.” His voice was hoarse and filled with self-loathing. “With others all around us. Christ, I was such an ass back then.”
“Back then?” she teased.
He said nothing to that. Okaaaaay, he was clearly not ready to find it amusing, and he was beating himself up to boot. Deep down, she could admit that’s what she’d wanted from him for years.
Hurray. Mission accomplished.
Except…She rolled to her back to see into his face. Looking up at him, into his pained expression, she didn’t suddenly want him to pay at all.
